JamieLogical

I think maybe you are trying too hard to be involved and be supportive. Being on the opposite end of this (I was the one who had surgery), I can say that I wanted my husband to be accepting, but not necessarily INVOLVED in my decision to have surgery and my weight loss journey thereafter. Like your fiance, I had successfully lost weight many times throughout my relationship with my husband and his first reaction when I told him I was considering surgery was to say I didn't need it, because he thought I could do it on my own. He was disappointed, because he felt like I was "giving up". And he honestly lost a little respect for me, because he always felt I was a very strong and determined person. While I was sad to think I was letting him down in some way, I could only do what I thought was best for me. I love that he saw me as a strong person, and I do still believe I am a strong person, but my inability to maintain weight loss was simply not something I could overcome on my own. While my husband knows me better than anyone else in the world, he doesn't know me better than I know myself. And I knew that while I was capable of losing weight on my own, after so many failed attempts to maintain weight loss, I needed to do something that would make maintenance realistically possible for me. Beyond the initial decision to have the surgery and the help I would need with recovery, I didn't want my husband very involved. It's something I decided to do for myself and I was perfectly content to do all the research and find support for myself. I like that my husband is fairly removed from the situation. We eat dinners together (he's the cook) and we go grocery shopping together and he is vaguely aware of my nutrition requirements, but he leaves it all up to me to make sure I'm eating enough, getting the right nutrients, and taking all my Vitamins and whatnot. He's not my mom. I'm a grown up and I can take care of myself. I think you need to respect that your fiance is an adult and he made a decision for himself and that it's up to him to follow through on that himself. You don't need to worry about whether he's eating enough or what he's eating or if he'll regain the weight. By doing that, you are probably encroaching on his very personal journey and probably coming across as a little naggy. I'm not saying don't take an interest at all, I'm just saying that maybe you should remove yourself from the situation somewhat. I don't attend support group meetings, but if I did, I would definitely NOT want my husband to go with me. I would want to share that experience with other WLS patients who knew why I did what I did and exactly what I was feeling. I would be self-conscious about talking about my weightloss issues in front of my husband. He can never fully understand my journey, because he's never been in my situation. Even if he lives with me every day and shares his life with me. He can support me without understanding me. And that's what I suggest you do. Take a step back. Be supportive, but not intrusive.

It sucks. There's no two ways about it. But it will get better and so much easier, I promise! A couple of months from now, this will be a distant memory and you will feel normal again!

Trust me when I tell you you WILL NOT be very hungry the first few weeks post-op. Eating will feel like a chore that you have to do on a timer. You may crave the feeling that your comfort foods once gave you, but that is NOT hunger. As for how much you should/will lose on your pre-op diet? I don't think anyone here can answer that for you, since every one seems to have pretty drastically different pre-op diets. I personally had a very restrictive two week pre-op diet and lost about 11 pounds.

There isn't a strict rule for "no chocolate" that I know of, but the general expectation is that you will eat healthy and cut out most carbs, especially sugar. I still eat chocolate. Not very much and not every day, but if you told me "no chocolate for the rest of your life" there is NO WAY I would have agreed to the surgery in the first place. One of the good things about sleeve vs. RNY is that you are still physically capable of eating sweets without getting sick. It's one of my main reasons for choosing sleeve. I wanted to eventually be able to eat anything I wanted, just in smaller portions.

It's tough. And like any addiction or mental disorder, you will have a LOT of people in your life say "why don't you just...."? As if it's the easiest thing in the world. Addiction is not reasonable or rational. No matter how much the rational part of your brain tells you it's bad for you and that you have a real problem, the irrational/emotional part of your brain still wins out a high percentage of the time. And, unfortunately, as food addicts, we are still forced to eat and deal with food multiple times a day. We can't go "cold turkey" or remove ourselves from the situation like a drug addict or a gambling addict might be able to.

Time really does fly. It seemed like it dragged on forever those first several weeks, when I was in pain and uncomfortable and worried I'd never feel "normal" again. But now I'm coming up on 5 months post-op! How did that happen? My weight loss has been slow... only 38 pounds post-op, but I really don't care. It's coming off. And all that urgency I felt leading up to my surgery and in the weeks that followed has completely disappeared. Now I'm just living my life and the weight just continues to drop off at it's own pace. It's nothing like in the past when I dieted and all I did was obsess about my weight and every bite of food I ingested and ever calorie I burned. I don't even wear my HRM when I exercise anymore! Who cares about exactly how many calories I burn on the treadmill? I do the exercise I need to keep me healthy and fit and happy. The numbers are completely meaningless to me now! Weight loss is no longer a constant math equation for me. It's so freeing!

The truth is, we all have to live the rest of our lives. We all have to do what keeps us sane and happy. If that means some "unhealthy" or "unconventional" choices once in a while (or even every day!), then so be it. Obviously, many (all?) of us are prone to some unhealthy behavior. We wouldn't need WLS in the first place if we were capable to maintaining 100% discipline all of the time. So we should be careful and mindful of what we are doing. But as long as we are honest with ourselves, there is no reason we can't partake of some foods and activities that aren't "ideal" for bariatric patients. I certainly have my vices! I am back up to 3 cups of coffee a day now since being allowed to start drinking coffee again at 30 days post-op. Is it good for me? Probably not. Is 3 cups going a bit beyond "moderate" consumption? Probably. Am I going to try to cut back? Maybe someday, but not anytime soon. I also don't track my food! I tracked for a bit in the early days just to make sure I knew what I needed to eat to get enough Protein, but I stopped once I had a good sense of that. I've been on so many diets over the years and been so obsessive about tracking every single bite I ate. I weighed everything. I refused to eat out a lot of the time, because restaurants didn't provide full nutritional info or I felt it was likely inaccurate. I would pass on anything and everything I was ever offered at work or social events because I didn't have the nutrition info and therefor couldn't track it. You know what? I don't want to have to do that for the rest of my life! I don't want to obsess about every single thing that ever crosses my lips. Can I do that for a few months or even a couple of years like I have in the past? Yes! But do I want to do that every day for the next 60 years? NOPE! So I don't track. I keep a vague running total of protein in my head to make sure I'm getting enough, but that's it. This is the rest of our lives we are talking about. This is not some diet that we will eventually be "done" with. So if you can't live the rest of your life without drinking soda, or eating fat free everything, or never having chocolate every again, then why should you be expected to? We need to be realistic here! No one knows us like we know ourselves. Keep yourself in check, but a life of deprivation is going to ultimately lead to a lot of misery.

It should get better. I had a rough time for the first several weeks as well, because every time I swallowed (be it water or "food"), I got this constriction in my esophagus that was very painful and uncomfortable. I "ate" on a schedule and tried to just get as much water as I could possibly stand, but it was pretty miserable and I really felt like crap, especially when I had to go back to work at 15 days post-op. Hang in there, though!. I'm almost 20 weeks post-op and I feel fine now. I would say I feel "normal" 99% of the time. The only time I get any discomfort at all now is when I eat too fast. And my energy level is much better (though I would say I'm still not to pre-surgery levels of energy because I'm eating about 1/3 as many calories as I used to!).

I have Excellus BCBS here in Rochester, NY as well and I had no such luck. They required that I had a BMI of 40+ for the last five years and I had previously lost weight "on my own" three years ago, which put me well under a BMI of 40 for a while. Unfortunately, as people often do, I regained most of the weight and was back over 40 BMI when I began to consider WLS. I would have had to stay fat for another 2-3 years to qualify. I felt like I was being punished for having at least TRIED to do it on my own. I ended going to Mexico and paying for my VSG out of pocket.

I forgot Brooklyn Nine Nine and Dr. Who in my list earlier. Plus, I just wanted to say that I watched the premier of 12 Monkeys last week and it was amazing! I hope the show can keep it up. Helix kind of started to not work for me about halfway through season one when it was on TV, but I did just go back and watch the second half of the season on Netflix this past weekend so I could watch season two. So far I don't really know what to make of season two.

One thing I've noticed is that as people are losing, they get kind of that melted/hollowed out look... especially in their faces, but once their weight stabilizes, their faces fill back out again or their skin shrinks down or whatever and they don't have that "sick" look anymore. Maybe that's the case for you right now, since you are still steadily losing.

My nutritionist gave me the goal weight of 165 after asking me about a million questions about what was the lowest I ever weighed, what was the highest I ever weighed, what was the most I'd ever lost, how much I regained, how long I'd been able to stick to an exercise regime, and a whole bunch of other things. My personal goal was 155, because that would put me at a healthy BMI. In all honesty though, I would be more than happy just to get below 180, which is my lowest weight in recent history and the weight at which I had my plastics done after losing 90 pounds about 3.5 years ago. Once I get back to that weight, anything else is just a bonus in my book.

My lowest recent weight (about 3.5 years ago) was 180 and I felt GREAT at that weight. So great that even went ahead and had plastics done. But then I regained the weight all the way back up to within 10 pounds of my highest weight (270). When I had my VSG in September, the nutritionist set my goal weight as 165, which is the lowest weight I've ever been at as an adult, back when I was 23 (I'm 35 now). My personal goal was 155, because that would put me at a healthy BMI. But honestly, if I just get back down to 180 again, I think I can be truly happy, because I really did look and feel amazing at that weight.

I watch a LOT of TV..... way more than I should. Last night I watched the full first season of The Fall (5 episodes) on Netflix and that was REALLY good. Can't wait to start on season 2! I also recently watched the full first season of Transparent on Amazon after it won those Golden Globes, and that is an amazing show. On current TV, my favorites are Shameless, Girls, Gallivant, Scandal, How to Get Away with Murder, Empire (just started), Walking Dead, Downton Abbey, @Midnight, and The Daily Show

Everyone has already said it, but it bears repeating. You NEED to be getting your protein. Ideally you should be getting your exercise too, but missing your exercise won't have as serious health repercussions as not getting your protein. Do you like having hair? Do you like having enough energy to get through your daily life? Do you like not being sick all the time? Do you like being able to work for a living? If so, then eat your protein! Not getting enough protein, especially after this surgery, will cause all sorts of very real and very serious health issues. I am sure you knew about that going into your surgery, so why would you commit to the surgery and then be ready to forgo that commitment only 3 months out?

I was disappointed with my slow loss at first as well. I am almost 5 months out and only down 38 pounds since my surgery on Sept. 1. But, I've come to peace with it now. The weight IS coming off. The scale IS moving down. And why do I need to race? I will eventually get where I need to be. Pre-op and the first month or two post op, I was thinking about this like I'd thought about diets in the past. I wanted to lose weight and get to goal as fast as possible so I could be "done". But with VSG, you are never "done". Your sleeve is for life. So what's the hurry? Plus there are some big advantages to losing slowly. I don't constantly get asked about my weight loss and have to come up with lies to tell people I'm not comfortable discussing my surgery with. And, since I'm losing weight more slowly, I'm not having to constantly replace clothing only to have to replace it again almost immediately. Also, I think it's less taxing on my skin than if I dropped weight really quickly.

With as little as you are eating early on, you should be trying to get as much Protein as possible from the things you do eat. Mac & Cheese, while potentially comforting, wouldn't provide much nutritional value. Remember, protein first!

4 days post op I'm surprised you are already on purees/soft food. I agree that if it is too tough for you to handle right now, maybe go back to full liquids. I lived on strained cream soups and yogurt during my full liquids phase and by the time I was allowed scrambled eggs, soft cheeses, etc. I had no trouble handling them (but obviously in VERY small quantities). I remember my first scrambled egg took me 45 minutes to eat maybe 2/3 of it.... But that wasn't until 18 days post-op.

It can stretch, for sure, but 75% of it's original size? I find that VERY hard to believe. the part of your stomach that remains after VSG is the least stretch tissue in the stomach. The top lobe of the stomach is the stretchiest part and that is completely removed with VSG, but it's one of the reasons RNY patients can experience a lot of stretching, because that is the part of the stomach that is used for the pouch in RNY.

Congrats! I know it's scary and overwhelming, but stick to the plan and you'll get through these two weeks!

It does seem to be a common problem, but I haven't had any issues with it. I think that it's one more of those things that is just different for everyone and you won't know one way or another until after your surgery and you experience it for yourself. I've been super lucky and have stayed regular since a couple of days post-op, despite my super low fiber diet. There are a lot of recommendations in other posts here on these forums about how to deal with the situation, should it arise.

I wore my clothes until they were literally falling off of me and then when I finally bought new ones, I bought clothes I had to SQUEEZE into so they would last me a long time before I had to buy more. I've never been overly concerned with my appearance at work, though, so I didn't really care what others though of my super huge or super tight clothes. If you are more self-conscious about that sort of thing, try hitting up Goodwill or Salvation Army for some cheap, used clothes. You'll be dropping off a lot of old clothes at those places soon anyway!

One thing that saved me during my pureed stage was Shelly's Baked Ricotta. It's like lasagna without the noodles. It's delicious and really helped me feel like I was getting to eat "real" food. You can find the recipe by scrolling down this page: http://theworldaccordingtoeggface.blogspot.com/2007/08/pureed-foods.html There are some other food ideas and recipes for the pureed stage on that page as well.

I didn't puree anything or eat any baby food during my "pureed" stage. I stuck to yogurt, soft cheeses (cottage cheese and ricotta), scrambled egg, soup, and protein shakes.

Just to be clear here, it's "the equivalent" of 30g of protein in that GENEPRO. You can decide for yourself if that's accurate. It's true that not all Proteins are created equal in terms of how much is absorbed into the body and how it is used by the body. So their claim that you are getting the benefit of 30g of protein in a tablespoon may be accurate, compared to some of the other protein sources available where the type of protein isn't absorbed well or utilized well by the body.