hi everyone
I have read so many different outlooks on why we are fat. I think we are fat for our own reasons, and speaking for oneself I think helps us look at oneself. I can relate to you lisa in the sense of loneliness. i have recently discovered in the past few years why and how i have gained so much weight. I have a husband that is out of my bed at least five nights a week. He is a firefighter and a paramedic. So some nights he never gets to sleep. We have three children so when he does sleep with me he tends to fall asleep when we are talking because he is so tired. I have family a sister, brothers, sister in-laws, friends and children but I still feel very alone. I feel like a single mother which wipes me out, along with working and taking care of a household. I can totally relate to the eating, spending, drinking, gambling ect. I was 150 lbs when I met my husband 10 years ago. My all time high was 300lbs. Being fat I think of as a costume, if you will, to hide inside of. I think for everyone its for there own reasons. I have another issue why I hide behind my fat, its because I'm petrified of men. I have been in emotional and physically abusive relationships, along with being raped twice 3 months apart by two different men. I have not been back to my doctor because he has made me feel shame and guilt for not living up to his expectations. I'm going to see him in two weeks and I'm not going to let him give me any crap. big hugs to you.