Laurie63

[font='comic sans ms']I've never been in chat-rooms or forums so this feels very foreign to me. However, after having my sleeve performed, this new life is very foreign to me as well! My daughter mentioned this type of surgery in passing last summer and I didn't even give it a second thought. Then over the past year I was saving money to take my family on a dream vacation (for me) taking my family to St. Johns in the Virgin Islands. I had saved about half for my trip. Then in June of 2014 my daughter called me and said that she and her sisters (3 girls) would rather I get the sleeve done than go on a family vacation. They are so afraid that I'll die at a young age if I don't do something NOW. They said they didn't care about the vacation, they cared about their mom being here. That got to me and made me realize how far I'd gone with trouble with my knees, sciatica, depression, sleep apnea, etc., the whole gamut of results of my sedentary life and enjoyment of food! I was a bit nervous to talk to my husband about it. Our insurance wouldn't cover a cent of it so I wasn't sure if he would want to take money out of savings for this. And, surprise, surprise, he didn't say yes but he didn't say no. Therefore, I made my appointment with the doctor and then talked some more with him and he just said okay. He was very reluctant, even up to the day of my surgery. That was very frustrating to me because I'd been preparing myself for almost three months mentally and physically. [/font]
[font='comic sans ms']My story however begins like most of you all. I wasn't heavy in my teens, not skinny, but not heavy at all. I was tall and so I could always carry a bit more weight and it didn't show quite as much. When I got married at 20, I just started to gain, then lose, then gain. Had kids and again gained, lost, and gained again. I've had so many "ah ha" moments that I can't believe it took me so long to do this. Once I was at an amusement park with my daughter and she wanted me to go on this rickety roller coaster with her. I didn't look at the sign (duh) and when I got into the seat I didn't sit flat. I couldn't. And I couldn't bear the embarrassment of getting out. They pushed the bar down while I'm half sitting/half standing and the rollercoaster ride from hell began. I don't know how I didn't get thrown out of the seat, but somehow I managed to survive the ride. I was so mortified. Then as we walked out I looked at the sign which had a weight limit of 200 lbs. Yeah, I was way beyond that!!! I've also (many times) ran into classmates or old friends and they don't recognize me. The words "I didn't recognize you" was not a positive thing. All I heard (in my head of course) was not "I didn't recognize you" but "wow! You have gotten so fat I didn't recognize you!" I've had the occasion of wearing a skirt and having the waist band break in public. Yep, me just trying to hold up my skirt and trying to look like nothing is wrong. So yes, I'm ready to be done with all of this foolishness. [/font]

[font='comic sans ms']I was afraid to tell my extended family about my surgery. Especially my mother-in-law. Judgmental is an understatement in describing her. I've chosen to not be around those who I think will be "judgy". It's not the easy way out of obesity. Nothing about this has been easy. I feel like I am a guinea pig for several friends/family who are fighting the same battle. I'm not hiding the fact that I've had this surgery. At first I thought I didn't want anyone to know. Then, I realized I have nothing to be ashamed of. If someone wants to judge me, let them throw the first rock. I am happy with ME. My daughters have been my best cheerleaders. Now who can argue with support like that?!!! I don't want to let them down and am excited to be on this adventure. When I lay down at night I think about all of the things I am going to do when I have lost the majority of my weight. At night before I go to sleep, I think about what I will wear, what stores I will be able to shop in (hello Black/White Market) and what I will be able to do. I'm 51 years young and want to ride a bike (its been 35 years since I rode a bike), go on a zipline, put a swimsuit on and not have a towel hide my entire body up to my neck. Next summer is going to be THE BOMB! Thanks for posting those who have done so. I've learned a lot and hope to learn more to make this journey easier and not so daunting.[/font]