taismommy

I just thought i would share that. It brighten my day and sickened me a little. LMAO!

Don't toot in Bed If this story doesn't make you cry for laughing so hard, let me know And I'll pray for you. This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of tooting Loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes Water And make her gasp for air. Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because It was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was Perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that One day he would blow his guts out. The years went by and he continued to blast them out! Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where She had put the! Turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the Spare parts and a malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep And, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic Waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into His shorts Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting Which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic Footsteps as he ran into the bathroom. The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor Laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good. About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his Bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her Lip as she asked him what was the matter. He said, 'Honey, you were right.' 'All these years you have warned me And I didn't listen to you.' 'What do you mean?' asked his wife. 'Well, you always told me that one day I would end up tooting my guts Out, and today it finally happened. But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and two fingers, I think I got Most of them back in.' :clap2::whoo::clap2::whoo:

I found this article about the Telemetric Band LAP-BAND: Laparoscopic Obesity Surgery | Easyband

I just read your goodbye to her and I am balling my eyes out. I can see you strength in the letter. I hope that you can get through this without any more tears. You didnt deserve what she did and she definetly doesnt deserve your TRUE AND HONEST FRIENDSHIP! God bless and stay strong ((((HUGS!)))))

Sorry you lost your friend but i think WANT is right. I have a co-worker who always makes mean remarks about people who have a WLS and she is the sole reason I have only told my mother(shes not happy either but whatever).

:clap2::clap2: congratulations :clap2: :clap2: I cant wait until its my turn

Congrats :clap2:

I dont really know what to say besides i am so excited that i started this journey. Im still in the beginning but thats fine. i hope to be banded by May 2008:bounce:

Longhorn, I thank you so much for this letter! I had decided not to tell my family until I had a surgery date(hopefully). I just didnt want to explain it or try and justify why i was doing this, but this letter (with some tweeking to fit my life) is just what I needed. I have a habit of having a strong tone in my statements and tend to make people upset. I dont mean to but I get frustrated when they dont get what im trying to say. Thank you again for letting us use parts of your letter to our own families.

I dont really know what to say besides i am so excited that i started this journey. Im still in the beginning but thats fine. i hope to be banded by May 2008:bounce:

Mich, We are on the same schedule! I will hopefully be banded late April early May 2008, i've just started the 6 month diet.

<p>Anyone have HEALTHNET? How did the process work with them?</p> <p> </p> <p> </p> <p>Very overwhelmed and I need all the help i can get</p> <p> </p> <p>Thanks</p>

:clap2: CONGRATULATIONS :clap2:

Hi all, I tried to get HEALTHNET to give me some info but I was told that I would have to see my surgeon and PCP. Now the first person gave me very vague information and this last person told me to go to the dr's first and they will tell me what i need to know. Thank goodness, I went to my seminar, met the nutritionist(healthnet didnt pay for that), picked a surgeon, and tomorrow my PCP visit. Im hoping I dont have to wait the six months considering my PCP has been telling me for years to lose weight and i've tried, but the weight keeps finding me, lol. Jen93003, can you tell me what steps you had to take??? I have Healthnet Northeast..thanks

:clap2: Welcome :clap2:

Hello and welcome!!!!!! Tell your husband THANK YOU for all he does!! I dont agree with this war but I support my armed forces. I have just started this journey myself after about a year of research and changing my mind back and forth. I saw the nutrionist, did my seminars already, and my appt with the surgeon is Dec 7, appt with my PCP is next week, my psych eval is coming up soon( i know im doing this out of order, lol). Unfortunately, I have to wait the 6 months for my insurance(HEALTHNET) as well. Im actually hoping that I wont have to wait the complete 6 months because my doctor has been telling me to lose weight for years now. Hopefully he has made some good notes about all the programs I have tried and failed at miserably.

Where is everyone getting Stevia from? Can I get it online? if so, whats a good brand name to look for? Thanks

Thanks Brenda G. I will call my ins tomorrow and ask someone there to call these offices and see what they say. BTW, CONGRATS on the weight loss!!!!!!!!!! :clap2:

Hi everyone, I am feeling very discouraged at the moment! I have called 2 therapist so far (they are in network) and they both want to charge $300 for the report to my surgeon!? Is that typical? My dr did refer me to a lady but she out of network and I was trying to save some money but this $300 for the report thing is making me mad! If anyone else is in the NYC area, can you please tell me what your experience was? I need to find someone before my official consult with the surgeon. Thanks a lot Tamika :ranger::help:

lovekatz1975, thanks a lot for answering me, I just wanted to be sure that was a resonable rate. After all, these doctors apart of my health insurance through my job.

I finally went to the seminar yesterday with Dr Brian Jacob in New York. This is after months and months of research and then scaring myself half to death with making this big decision. I absolutely loved him! He was straight forward and every question I had made a mental note to ask throughtout the seminar, he answered before i had a chance. I knew alot about Lapband the procedure( i watched a live operation online) and he basically explained everything I saw. He works with the AP band and had one for us to touch and look at. Dr Jacob's office was small but clean and orderly. I cant wait to call and make my official appointment with him. Now that I have officially started I am so much more EXCITED! Just thought I would share this Tamika :whoo:

Thank you for your replies! I was just excited because it took me so long to make the calls. After I decided this the best thing for me, i just couldnt make the calls?? Oh well i've started the ball rolling and i'm glad

BUMP!!!!!!! Thanks Wasa, from a newbie

Lauraj23, I own that movie, THE KID its pretty good. I have to admit i watched it years ago and only the one time but i do remember liking it. Maybe i will dig that VHS TAPE(lmao) up and watch it. Thanks everyone, im still feeling kinda weirded out by the whole idea. But at least I have any a notion of whats going to happen Tamika

i know that im doing this, i have no idea why im scared now? its weird. my mother had a gastric bypass and i went through some if it with her at the end(she didnt tell anyone until she had a surgery date) Im going to call and make my appt tomorrow with Dr Herron. There is a seminar next Friday at 8am not far from me. I can goto that and be late for work