CarmenP

Hello all, It’s been a long time since I’ve posted. I had my surgery in 2014, lost over 120 pounds, gained back roughly 15. So far, so good. But I am having difficulties now that I never expected and I don’t know where else to turn. In the last 4 years or so, I have fallen completely out of love with my husband. There is NO physical desire whatsoever, and I am bored and nearly emotionally indifferent - I say “nearly” because of course I care about him, want the best for him always, wish him no ill will in any way, etc… But I feel as if my surgery/weight loss created not just a new body but a new PERSON. Has ANYONE else experienced or even HEARD of such a thing happening to gastric bypass patients? I feel lost. Trapped. Scared. I have been fighting how I feel for years, hoping it would improve. Any insight is greatly, GREATLY appreciated. Thank you. 💔

Thank you for your open, honest thoughts, everyone. It’s very, very difficult time for me. I just don’t feel any of the OOMPH for him anymore, and it’s been this way for enough time now that I know it won’t just “come back”. I suppose part of me wants to get out and see what I missed while I was “trapped” inside my old self. I do think there is some truth to that, outside of the other issues we have. He’s a good man and takes wonderful care of me, but that’s not always enough, is it? Thank you all again for your thoughts. ❤️

Hello All, I’m on Day 5 post-op of an abdominoplasty (minus the muscle tightening). I have a few questions for anyone who has done this and can maybe help? 1) My compression feels like I’m stuffing 2 pounds of sausage in a 1 pound casing. Should it BE that tight? Hubby says yes, that he made a point of asking the surgeon and then watching them do it while I was in recovery. My sides feel like they BURN (no incision, just like the skin is being rubbed raw!). I put an old cotton shirt under the compression garment, but it doesn’t feel like it’s helping. Could it be something under the skin that feels like it’s irritated or burning? Anyone feel this before? 2) How long did you feel so sore that you couldn’t sleep? The compression garment doesn’t help. It digs and digs - into my ribs, under my breasts, etc... I feel like I want to claw it into a million pieces! 3) I have drains that need to come out - hopefully Wednesday. I am actually terrified of this. Does it hurt? What is the process like? My surgeon only said, “it takes like 4 seconds and doesn’t hurt.” But I’m reading other people say it does and now I don’t know what the heck to believe. It’s like the easiest part of this is the actual incision area! That barely hurts. But where the swelling is, where the skin is stretched so tight, where the garment rubs and digs, THAT is what hurts! I’m trying to avoid pain meds, haven’t taken them in a few days, but I’m slowly feeling like I *need* them - just to sleep. And I’m afraid of that feeling. Like I’m dependent. I’m going on 2 days with like 2 or 3 hours of total sleep. And I feel crazy. Thanks!

Hello Everyone, I am 2 weeks post op, and looking for suggestions for the next stage of compression garment to wear as I continue my recovery from my tummy tuck. I am overwhelmed by everything out there. I need something COMFORTABLE. This itchy, bulky thing the surgeon gave me is the stuff of nightmares. I need something that works for the summer weather, but is also durable, so I can sleep in it, wash it, etc... I do plan to buy more than one, but I don't want to break the bank, either, you know? Any recommendations are greatly appreciated! Thanks!

Hello Everyone! I am post-op RNY, surgery date July 2014, starting weight 302, surgery date weight 290. Today, I’m 190, and I’m four days post-op from an abdominoplasty. Surgeon was able to remove 15 ponds of skin. I’m hopeful to be 175-180 when I’m healed and all my swelling goes down. Here are before and after (the “after” is from 2 weeks ago at the beach, before my plastic surgery). I like to come and read about everyone’s successes. Your stories are always so familiar and comforting to me. Very few people understand the struggles we’ve faced, the nastiness, the hateful attitudes, the condescension (“hey, you should feel lucky we even MAKE clothes in your size!”), and even though I don’t post much, I’ve so enjoyed seeing the happy transformations. ❤️hugs to everyone on this journey! Carmen

Thank you! I see the surgeon on Wed, and I’ll be sure to ask him how tightly he wants me bound. There’s got to be a happy middle ground between being stupid and taking it off and this agony. Lololol

I am now considered “in remission” from Type II diabetes. For me, this has been THE most important, most profoundly significant benefit of my RNY. My last A1c was 4.8. I never had high BP, but given my weight and the diabetes, I know it was only a matter of time before the other co-morbidities caught up with me. Aside from some vitamin deficiencies (which I can live with and address with supplements), I have not regretted my decision to have gastric bypass surgery.

I went to Charlotte Plastic Surgery, and my surgeon was Dr. Scheuer. He’s WOOOOOOOONDERFUL.

Hello all! A few months ago, I posted asking about doing plastic surgery to remove my “apron” of skin. Originally, I intended a panniculectomy. I met with a surgeon, and we went back and forth. He was advocating for an abdominoplasty, and I wasn’t interested in the recovery/pain involved with that procedure. But he didn’t think I’d wind up happy with the simple panniculectomy. We finally reached a compromise of sorts. He did an abdominoplasty, minus the muscle tightening. While he was at it, he gave me a slight butt and thigh lift, removing a chunk of skin/fat - so-called “saddle bags” - from my sides/flanks. I also had my mons lifted (ladies, this was actually the part I wanted most, if you can believe it!) I am currently 4 days into recovery. I’m SORE! I’m tired. I’m a bit swollen. Everything feels tight. I’m in a compression garment, and I feel like 2 pounds of sausage stuffed in a 1 pound casing. Lolol I walk hunched, can’t stand up straight, I have 2 drains, and I hate the idea of doing and undoing this ensemble so much, that I actually skip showers to avoid the hassle (and I normally shower AT LEAST once a day!). The surgeon said, pre-surgery, he was maybe being a bit ambitious with the marks he’d made on my body. He was hopeful to get 90% of the skin. He actually got all of it, and then some! 15 pounds of skin, gone. And he said it was all skin. He didn’t need to do any lipo, as there wasn’t any fat. I will keep you all posted with my progress. But if you’re thinking of doing this, I’m happy to share whatever info I have. I’ll also post pics when I’m feeling better! Carmen

Thank you! Yes, if you have to pay out of pocket, you will definitely want to shop around! I know I talked to a lady in NY and she said the same - she went elsewhere because it was so expensive.

Everything was just shy of $12,000. And insurance doesn’t cover squat. Not for cosmetic surgery.

Hello all, If anyone has either had cosmetic surgery after bariatric surgery, or has seriously considered it, what questions did you ask yourself as you weighed your decision? How did you go about finding a surgeon? Are all surgeons capable of any kind of cosmetic surgery, or do they specialize (lower body, breasts, face, etc...?) I have been reading, but it’s hard to get a feel, there is so much information out there. Some former bariatric patients have even gone to another country for surgery! That idea frightens me! But I’d love to know more if anyone wants to share. Please feel free to give me as much information and detail as you’d like. I am very appreciative of any and all help. Thank you! 😊

Well, folks, I had my RNY in July, 2014. I started at 302 pounds. I finally, finally, FINALLY, F I N A L L Y!!!, hit onederland this morning!!! I stalled out 2 years ago at around 205, and never lost another ounce. Bounced between 205 and 215, and just got fed up. Went back on my post-RNY regimen around Thanksgiving, and this morning was 199.8!!!!! I cannot believe it!! I never thought I’d see the scale dip below 200. 4.5 years, but, if you work at it, and just stick to the program, it will work!!! *hugs for everyone!!!!* Carmen

Thank you, anaxila! I’ve got one consult already scheduled, and do plan a few more. That was very helpful! 😊

Thank you, RickM. That is valuable info. I appreciate it. 😊

Thank you for the feedback! The (negative) realities are definitely something I would weigh above and beyond any potential positives. For clarity, I’m considering a panniculectomy. I just have this horrible sagging bunch of skin that is, honestly, disgusting. I really feel like I need to do something. Would the same pain/recovery/time to heal apply for this as would the full tummy tuck/muscle rebuilding, etc..? I’ve got a consult with one surgeon, but I know that won’t be enough information for me. Plus, he’s in the business of selling this (or any) cosmetic procedure to me, so I am wary of getting all the bells and whistles but none of the brutal truth, you know? Thanks again!

Hello all! I had my RNY surgery in July 2014. I lost 98 pounds and managed to keep around 92-95 of it off as of Sept 2015. However, this past Feb/Mar, I have gained 15 pounds. Yes, I’m naturally eating more than I did immediately post-op, but nowhere near my overeating habits of my pre-op life. My question is: have any of you had this happen? Any idea what the cause(s) could be? Any idea of a plan to either shrink my pouch (has it stretched too much!??) or restart my body or something? I will try ANYthing!! I am absolutely TERRIFIED that my body is just going to start putting the weight back on again and I am a panicked WRECK. I can’t even sleep I’m so upset. And, yes, I know stress isn’t helping, but I don’t know what to do!? Everything has been great since I hit my lowest weight in 2015. I gained around 3-5 (up and down) pounds since then, and now these 15 out of nowhere!?! I’m FREAKED. Thank you for any help, information, insight you can provide. I really do appreciate it!!!

Hi all! I have been AWOL for a long time. I had my surgery in July 2014, and in the first year lost 80 pounds. Since then, I've lost ~10, and have completely stopped (I have gained and lost the same 5 pounds for the last 6 months). SW: 302 Pre-Surg Weight: 292 Current Weight: 205 My surgeon and I meet next week for a follow-up. At my last appt (Sept), I was 206, and he was of the opinion I would be 190# by the 18 month post-op mark. I'm bummed I am just stuck. I have been walking every weekday (60 minutes, over 3 miles), and eat roughly 1200 calories a day. I'm lucky in that I can eat anything now, but I'm still very restricted in how MUCH I can eat - so I know I'm not overeating. Has this happened to anyone else? Am I crazy to be worried what my surgeon will say that I'm not losing any more? Do you guys have any ideas/suggestions on how to jump start some loss again? I just wanna meet MY personal goal of being in Onederland. 199#. I never thought I would sit 5 pounds from goal for more than half a year!! HELP!!! Thanks! Carmen

Thanks for the replies. I appreciate it. I've been feeling bummed because I really thought I'd see 199 waaaaaaay before now. I guess I have to go back to tracking, which I hate. I have spent so long being able to eat so little, it was obvious I was under 1000 cal. But I guess it's clear that things are a-changin'! I'll update in a month or so on any progress I make after getting into this new (old! LOL) routine (again).

Hello All, I had RNY July 2014. By February of 2015, I had lost 70 pounds. Since February, I have only lost 26 pounds, and in the last 7 weeks, I haven't lost anything. According to my surgeon, I should lose another 30 pounds by the end of the year, but with the way I have completely stalled out, I don't see that happening (I saw him at the end of August, and between April and August (my last follow up with him) I had only lost 6 pounds). What can I do to break through this plateau? Anyone ever have this happen to them? I appreciate any words of wisdom you can offer! Thanks!

Hello All, I had RNY July 2014. By February of 2015, I had lost 70 pounds. Since February, I have only lost 26 pounds, and in the last 7 weeks, I haven't lost anything. According to my surgeon, I should lose another 30 pounds by the end of the year, but with the way I have completely stalled out, I don't see that happening (I saw him at the end of August, and between April and August (my last follow up with him) I had only lost 6 pounds). What can I do to break through this plateau? Anyone ever have this happen to them? I appreciate any words of wisdom you can offer! Thanks!

Hello All, I had RNY July 2014. By February of 2015, I had lost 70 pounds. Since February, I have only lost 26 pounds, and in the last 7 weeks, I haven't lost anything. According to my surgeon, I should lose another 30 pounds by the end of the year, but with the way I have completely stalled out, I don't see that happening (I saw him at the end of August, and between April and August (my last follow up with him) I had only lost 6 pounds). What can I do to break through this plateau? Anyone ever have this happen to them? I appreciate any words of wisdom you can offer! Thanks!

My chewable Vitamins are testing my gag reflex BIG TIME. I'm still in the liquid-only post-op phase, and these are the vitamins purchased from my doc's office. They taste like fruit flavored chalk!! I can hardly get them down. Are there any alternatives to these chalky type vitamins?? Going forward, will pills be an option? I don't see myself taking these nasty things beyond finishing the bottle. Thanks!

I couldn't stand the calcium either. It was the worst. I bought some caramel chews (Bariatric Advantage) and they are SO MUCH better. I'm going to finish the chewable multis, but then I need something different. They're a close second in nastiness to the calcium chewables. Part of the problem is the chalky taste that stays with me for hours. Part is that everything is SWEET flavored, and I'm sick of sweet. Sweet shakes, sweet Vitamins, sweet Popsicles, sweet Jello, sweet sweet sweet. Sick. Of. It. All. (Sorry for the rant. Just reaaaaaally depressed lately over it all)

All I know is, I feel ya. I have zero help to give here, but my sentiments are exactly the same. I've been in Phase 2 (purée) since the 5th, and will be this way until the 25th. I think I was happy about it for about 20 hours before I got totally fed up and bored with it. I can't even stand the smell of my Protein shakes anymore, and I'm sick of broth and Soup. The thought of doing this for another 15 days makes me ill. I spend most days wanting to just go to bed and feeling like this has been the biggest mistake of my life. Before surgery, I was a prisoner of my fat body. Now I feel like a prisoner of my pouch. It's like nothing has changed for me, except the type of jail I'm in. I still have no energy, I still can't figure out my body's signals (Am I hungry? Am I full?), I'm dying for a cold soda, and while I fully recognize that my hubby and kids are not in jail with me, I feel a sense of anger and resentment when they sit down for dinner. I literally have to leave the room and close doors against the smells and sounds. If I could go back and undo this, I would.