LauraD

I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting to know the stats on slippage and erosions. Yes, you do have to weigh risk vs. benefit, but you can't truly do that unless you know the risk, can you? What's really interesting to me is how few of us know the answer to these questions, but have the surgery anyway. (I include myself, because I intend to have the surgery as soon as I get insurance to clear it)

I'm really interested in what happened to you. I haven't been banded yet, and am still interested in both sides of the experience. Would you please give me some more info, in a PM if you prefer? Thanks.

Maddy, my suggestion is to pick one or two people you are close to, who you can trust, and tell them. You are going to make major changes in your life, and it's going to be hard enough without some kind of support, other than this community. Frankly, your mom doesn't sound like she's very supportive. There are going to be times when you are frustrated, angry, or depressed, and you need someone to talk to. There will be times when you need to Celebrate another milestone, and it's not as much fun to celebrate alone. Think of yourself as a race car; aren't you better off with a pit crew than you would be without one? I'm sympathetic to your mom's feelings, but you are an adult now. This is your decision to make. I think you can handle it in a way that both allows you some personal support, and honors her need for some privacy. I think you might also want to ask her how long she expects it to be kept a secret. If the answer is forever, then that is a whole different conversation.

Thank you so much! I was actually going to do a "search" for a sample letter tonight, you must have read my mind!

I've never been to a pow-wow and not eaten fry bread; that will be a new experience post band.... When y'all get down to San Antonio, make sure and drop in to the Liberty Bar. It's a great place, and a do not miss.

Layer Cake Shiraz. It's just......mmmmmm. Open it and let it rest for about 30 minutes before you start sipping.

Trixie, I look at it from a different point of view. When I look at the "after" pictures, I don't just see lost weight; I also see a gain in self esteem. Why wouldn't we want to see ourselves in the best possible light? That's what we are all striving for; that and better health! People feel prouder about their appearance. Instead of hunched shoulders, slumping posture, and downturned heads-you see happier poses. Poses like "normal" people use when their pictures are taken. Because let's face it, "normal" people pose themselves so that their most flattering features are highlighted. (Whether they do it conciously or not.) I'm sure with your photography background, you saw that all the time. I'm glad that you have success with using, for want of a name, "unposed photography". But remember that there isn't only one right way.

I was wondering how you were doing. 50 pounds, that is outstanding! (I'm loving the serial you are posting at Bam's site)

Not only report them to hospital admins, but in cases like Zippy's, file a formal complaint. Malpractice is a very real danger, especially when prejudice is involved. I'm not biased against docs, I've got 4 in the family. I've also had a family member die as a result of malpractice.

Hi Amy! I also live in Austin, an hour away from SA. The company I work for is based in SA, so I will ask around about housing; I know nothing about neighborhoods there. What kind of job are you looking for? San Antonio is a great city. It's very spread out, but it has a lot to offer, and plenty to do without spending too much $. For me, just walking along the riverwalk is a lot of fun. Of course, the beautiful old missions in the area, and the historical sites are great. Plus, you are right on the edge of the hill country. When the city gets to you, just drive west for a bit, and you will be in beautiful country, with some funky ol' small towns. Anyway, I will ask around about neighborhoods, and if you let me know what kind of job you are looking for maybe I can be useful?

I have a hard time thinking of Scientology as a "religion" when they require people to pay tuition and attend classes to learn about it and advance within the church. That's not religion, that's business. One of my all-time favorite Bono quotes: "The God I believe in isn't short of cash."

Oh yes please!!! High, high heels, and knee high boots. No, knee high boots with high, high heels! I don't know which will be worse, DSW shoes, or Zappos.com! I've never worn jeans and high heels, and I've always wanted to.

Patty, you are a great advocate for banding!

Steph, congrats on surviving the Restaurant Wars!! I'm a fellow veteran, just back of the house. I hope my post didn't come off as rude to you, I was honestly trying to be helpful. Steve, you might want to re-examine what you consider funny when telling jokes to women. What goes over as hilarious with guys isn't going to be as big a laugh with (IMO) most women. Sort of a Three Stooges rule. I hope you are finding the info you came to this board for, it's been an incredible learning community for me. I will suggest one thing; if you find a thread not to your liking, just stop reading it. Frequently, there are hints in the title or the very first post that will clue you in to the content. If it says "just us gals", it might have info you will consider offensive. There is also a section for men only-I have no idea what's in there, I honor the name of the section. I'd also like to ask you to remember that people who do life's less desirable tasks-like ask if you want fries with that-are people deserving of your respect.

Steve, if you are losing any weight then you are the perfect example of your own statement. To the OP, when the server asks you what you want to drink, simply say "nothing, and please don't even bring a glass of Water." If he/she still brings the water, politely remind them that you didn't want water. You have to realize and respect that your problem/desire is a pretty unique one in restaurant world; most of the complaints servers hear are that they didn't get the drink to the table fast enough, or that they didn't keep the water glasses full! Also, sometimes the server isn't the person who brings the table water, sometimes it's a busboy. Just say "no thank you, I don't want any".

Have you discussed getting banded with your therapist? Although you haven't had much success with "just" therapy, her/his input is worth considering. I'm also a compulsive overeater, but I think that the band is going to be a very effective tool in dealing with that-along with continued therapy. I've also been honest with the surgeon about my issues, and he feels that the band will be the right choice for me. You do have to understand that the band itself won't be a cure-all; you can find ways to eat around it if you really want to. I guess my best advice is what my therapist has told me-make sure you have a good support system in place, and know that you need to keep working on your emotional issues as well as your weight. Whatever you decide, you're not alone in your struggles.

I'm happy for anyone who is successful at weight loss. I don't care how they did it. The increase in self esteem and self confidence is a wonderful feeling-not to mention the health benefits! As far as keeping it off, I just keep my fingers x'd for them and hope for the best. Like many others here, I've been a successful loser, and did a great job at regaining. (I have bipolar disorder, and went into a major depression.....I wonder a lot if I would have regained all that weight were it not for that damned 8 months of mental hell.) There is a great book called "Thin for Life" by Anne Fletcher. She interviewed 20 people who had lost significant amounts of weight and kept it off for at least 5 years. She wanted to determine what the critical success factors were. It's out of print now, but you can get used copies off of Amazon.

"Bottom line there is not a "easy" solution no matter what you do" I'm truly hoping that you didn't mean to suggest that those who get banded assume they've found an "easy" solution to their weight problem. The people here who've had success have worked their weight off. I have hypothyroidism. I have been taking medication for it since, oh, the early '90s. My level gets checked twice a year, and it's been stable for as long as I can remember. I've successfully lost over 100 pounds, so hypos can succeed at weight loss. (The only problem was me gaining the weight back by overeating high calorie foods and stopping my exercise program.) You are making a really strong statement to us about our personal health choices, but you also state "I'll take what I can get" when it comes to your own doctor and treatment. You "know more than any nutritionist", but have you consulted more than the one that disappointed you? I appreciate your concern for my well-being, but my own experiences and the faith I have in my own decisions will guide me.

Tell them that you prefer to work smarter as opposed to working harder.

Actually, I was attributing the blanket statement comment to the OP. You're right about everyone being able to see that she was uneducated by her doc, she even laments that fact at the end of her original post. I'm unable to read non-medical posts in a purely analytical mode, and that seems to be the case for many other posters as well.

Congratulations! What an inspiration you both are!

Methinks that rebandit was actually trying to make a helpful post, not become the whipping gal for blanket statements.... It would be wonderful if all the bariatric docs out there were still doing it because they cared about us as human beings, but I went to one seminar where I felt like I was being pitched a new car. I was given insurance forms to fill out as I walked in the door. When the doc was asked questions about things like complications and her personal stats re: slippages, erosions, how many bands she'd actually placed, she replied that those were things she preferred to discuss during private consultations. Huh? That clinic has a great website and beautiful brochures, but they won't be doing my surgery. So I think it's a mistake these days to assume a poster has been well educated by their doctor; a lot of them have climbed aboard the cash cow. a poster I know on another message board ends all of her messages with "YMMV". "Your mileage may vary" True for all of us, in more than one way!

It sucks, but I doubt things will change. He pretty much told you his sister came first when you first started dating, and now he's confirmed it.

I'm afraid it's not flying by for me. I'm in month 4 of the "doc-supervise" phase, and I know that patience is a virtue.....but I'm ready to scream. What's really frustrating is being in a mindset where I could lose some weight and get a good "jump-start" on things.......but then I wouldn't get approval for surgery. So instead, I'm just spinning my wheels. I keep having this bizarre fear that after 6 months, my doctor will have done something wrong-taken bad notes, or written down something that will get me disqualified for the surgery. Aieeeeee.

Congratulations! I don't think that you could do an open pot luck, but you could ask close family and friends to help you "cater" your own wedding. But it's definately a no-no to specify the type of gift you want/don't want. As far as food goes, don't feel you need to provide your guests with a full meal. If you have an afternoon wedding, go for some cocktail style food. Morning wedding=continental style brunch food. If you do want to go for a meal, then keep it simple. It's ok to have BBQ, or something like that. (I'm from Texas, we're big on the cow down here.) Better to have a lot of 5-6 things than a little bit of 12-14 things. Do you want to use disposables or rent plates/glassware/etc? You can buy some really nice disposable stuff, but it can end up costing just as much as renting plates does. DO NOT trust someone's Aunt/sister/friend who is in culinary school to make your wedding cake. They will screw it up. (Unless you are already familiar with their work, or they are a legend.) If you are going to provide anything to drink besides tea and soda, just keep it to beer and wine, with champagne for the toast. When you start adding in liquor, the $$ adds up fast. Once you and DF decide how much you can afford to spend per guest, I'd still suggest calling around to a few restaurants or caterers, just to check it out. FWIW, I've always said that if I ever get married, it's Vegas all the way!