readyforitall

I've been overweight since I was 8. I've done it all as I am sure you can all understand. I'm done and ready for this. My boyfriend, who I love very much and who loves me and thinks I am "perfect and beautiful right now" is really struggling with the fact that I want to have/am moving forward with gastric sleeve surgery in October/November. More like completely against the idea than struggling actually. A little back story, we have been friends for 13 years before we began our committed, very loving relationship just over a year ago. He has seen my ups and downs and struggles and he too has had his own struggle with weight, though to a different, lesser degree. I was warned that he would "problem solve," and he has indeed. He thinks this is very extreme.He has said things like "Surgery is a tool just like diet and exercise if those haven't worked how do you know this one will?" or "We can be more active and eat healthier, pay more attention." I asked him the other day, "Do you think I might not be able to do this and be successful or do you not want me to have to go through this?" to which he replied that he didn't want to put it into words. I can see in his eyes that he is fearful and struggling. I can't quite decide what all of the reasons are. I realize that I have considered the surgery for a long time and therefore had time to process all of the fears, feelings, and uncertainty that goes along with it, so I have decided to be patient with him, give him time to be uncomfortable and work through some of it on his own. Talking to him about it was a big deal for me as food and weight are things that I have spent a lifetime NOT talking about. It's been a couple weeks since I first brought it up to him. I'm going to continue to be patient and keep talking to him about it but it has occurred to me that in the end my question is going to be "Will you be able to support me regardless of what I choose to do and any reservations you may have about it?" Sorry to be long winded but any thoughts, past experiences, or suggestions on what is a very important issue to me would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you all so much for your responses. It helps so much to hear your thoughts and experiences. You have vocalized somethings I have been afraid to really consider. It most certainly is at least partially about him. I am eager for the day when he can put it into words so that I may better understand his fears. Keep your thoughts coming... and best of luck to you all whatever stage you are in!