Trace Lynne

A couple weeks ago, I posted a blog entry about the changes in my abilities, since I started working with my trainer a year ago: "I may not be there yet, but I am closer than I was yesterday". In this write up, I posted a video of me deadlifting 135 lbs, to commemorate about how much weight I had lost at that point (about 130-ish pounds). The amazing realization I had during this session was just how much more power and endurance I have. In addition to the weightlifting, I was able to do a full pull-up (with the assistance of bands), and blew away my stats on my original assessment (4 times faster than I was the year prior).
 
This really was a renewal to my commitment to get down to my goal range. My doctor told me I should aim for 150-170 lbs. I'm within 70-90 lbs of that goal. I had been slacking off a bit. Sure, I was exercising, but not enough to really help me to lose much weight. My goal for my 1 year follow-up with my surgeon (which is in a couple weeks), is to be under 200 lbs. I'm still 40 lbs off from that. .... But, rather than bumming on my lack of progress, I've put together a redemption plan.
My body needs more intense exercise than what I'm giving it, so, starting this week, I will be back at the gym with my trainer 3-4 days a week.
I am going to be practicing with the local roller derby team. I will start out skating 1 day a week, but once I'm comfortable on my skates again (per their criteria), I will be skating 3 days a week with the team. In the meantime, I'll try to get to the open skate at the rink as often as I can fit into my schedule
I've registered to play as a substitute for a local soccer league
I will continue walking/biking with my dog as weather permits.

 
I have a goal to be back on track by the 1.5 year follow-up with the doctor. If I target the 12 lbs/month goal that my trainer wants me to focus on, I should reach my goal in 7.5 months. We'll see how it goes.
 
I still have shorter-term goals that I am working towards:
Getting down to 220 lbs, so that I can jump out of an airplane
Snowboarding once winter hits
Getting on the roller derby team (not just practicing with them)
Completing a Warrior Dash
Hiking the San Pedro Volcano in Guatemala (plan on doing over the winter holidays)

 
The things that I accomplished this summer:
Taking dancing lessons
Played soccer for the first time in a decade
Went on all of the roller coasters at Cedar Point, including the ones I couldn't ride the last time I was there in 2007
Established a 5k walking route at work that I do on my lunch hour
Biked through most of the local rivertrail with my dog. The furthest I have traveled with him is 12 miles. The furthest I have biked on my own is about 18 miles.
Went to a water park that had a surf/wave machine, and actually rode the waves (on the body board). I flew off the surfboard pretty quickly, decided I need to work on that one more.
Went to derby practice, and skated for 2 hours. Last summer when I tried to skate, I went around that rink three times and it was too much for me. I was holding onto the wall, and completely unbalanced.

I did it! When I weighed in on 12/16/14, I crossed the line from 98 lbs to 101 lbs lost! It was only three pounds, however, those three pounds pushed me into the 3-digit realm of weight loss. I was so excited. Now I'm down about 105 lbs. It is just crazy to say it, and I've been telling EVERYONE! People I know, people I don't know... EVERYONE... I'm just so excited about hitting this milestone.
 
As a result of this milestone, I decided to treat myself to a couple new clothes. I walked into Lane Bryant after work that Friday after the weigh-in (yeah, I had to wait until payday)... and said, so, I've lost some weight, and I have no idea what size clothing I am. It was actually FUN trying on clothes for 1.5 hours. To put it in perspective, the shirt I was wearing was a baggy 3x shirt and the pants were a size 22 jeans that I had picked up from good will the beginning of October. The size 22 jeans were so big that I could pull them on and off without undoing the button or zipper.
 
By the end of this trip, I walked out with size 18 trouser jeans, a couple size 14/16 shirts, and a couple 18/20 blouses for work. The idea that I am wearing size 16 or 18 clothing again is mind-blowing. I'm quickly coming to the bottom of the Lane Bryant size ranges, meaning I can start shopping in regular clothing stores again. However, I suspect the next down-sizing I do will be back at good will. I really shouldn't continue purchasing brand new clothing that I can only wear for a couple months.
 
Of course, I may need to go through my clothing again soon. Its been 2 weeks since that shopping trip, and I've lost enough weight that some things are fitting awkwardly. After going through 3-4 outfits the other day, I kind of missed the thing I was trying to dress for. I decided, instead, to tend to my closet. I pulled out all of the clothing I purchased at last year's end-of-year clearance from lane bryant, and found that nothing fits me, at all. Some of the stuff still has its tags, even. So, I started going through older clothing, which all ended up in that pile too. I have a huge stack of clothing to hand off to goodwill the next time I go in. I only have 2-3 pair of dress slacks to wear to work and some blouses (old and new). I would much rather have this problem than going the other way, but some days it isn't as easy as others to wrap my head around this.
 
I'm down over 100 lbs, which is unbelievable to me. If its this amazing at 100 lbs, what will it be like when I attain my goal and have lost over 200 lbs????? I can't even fathom that.
 
Of course, having lost over 100 lbs, I am noticing extra skin, which I have no idea how to handle, other than wearing compression clothes and/or always making sure I have a second layer of clothing other to help mitigate the jiggle. There is no way of knowing how bad the skin will be until I get to that bridge. I've started watching Vlogs for people who have lost a bit of weight and are going through the skin removal process. I'm a little nervous about that part... but I know it will probably be a year before I'm there. Some posts I've seen say that women should target body fat % of 17-20 before even considering skin removal surgery. Seeing as I'm still at body fat of 47%, it will be a while.
 
For the record, I'm ready to be at that point, I'm so ready to be past this current phase/stage of the journey... however, I was never given a FF button, so, I have to live through the next 6-12 months while I continue losing weight. It is kind of fun to think that soon I will be approaching the same size as my younger sister, who has always been much smaller than me. While she was in high school, she swam and did equestrian, and wore a size 4. She is currently wearing size 12-14 clothing.
 
Anyone else working to wrap their head around their new/ever changing body? I would love to hear from others about this.

I did it! When I weighed in on 12/16/14, I crossed the line from 98 lbs to 101 lbs lost! It was only three pounds, however, those three pounds pushed me into the 3-digit realm of weight loss. I was so excited. Now I'm down about 105 lbs. It is just crazy to say it, and I've been telling EVERYONE! People I know, people I don't know... EVERYONE... I'm just so excited about hitting this milestone.
 
As a result of this milestone, I decided to treat myself to a couple new clothes. I walked into Lane Bryant after work that Friday after the weigh-in (yeah, I had to wait until payday)... and said, so, I've lost some weight, and I have no idea what size clothing I am. It was actually FUN trying on clothes for 1.5 hours. To put it in perspective, the shirt I was wearing was a baggy 3x shirt and the pants were a size 22 jeans that I had picked up from good will the beginning of October. The size 22 jeans were so big that I could pull them on and off without undoing the button or zipper.
 
By the end of this trip, I walked out with size 18 trouser jeans, a couple size 14/16 shirts, and a couple 18/20 blouses for work. The idea that I am wearing size 16 or 18 clothing again is mind-blowing. I'm quickly coming to the bottom of the Lane Bryant size ranges, meaning I can start shopping in regular clothing stores again. However, I suspect the next down-sizing I do will be back at good will. I really shouldn't continue purchasing brand new clothing that I can only wear for a couple months.
 
Of course, I may need to go through my clothing again soon. Its been 2 weeks since that shopping trip, and I've lost enough weight that some things are fitting awkwardly. After going through 3-4 outfits the other day, I kind of missed the thing I was trying to dress for. I decided, instead, to tend to my closet. I pulled out all of the clothing I purchased at last year's end-of-year clearance from lane bryant, and found that nothing fits me, at all. Some of the stuff still has its tags, even. So, I started going through older clothing, which all ended up in that pile too. I have a huge stack of clothing to hand off to goodwill the next time I go in. I only have 2-3 pair of dress slacks to wear to work and some blouses (old and new). I would much rather have this problem than going the other way, but some days it isn't as easy as others to wrap my head around this.
 
I'm down over 100 lbs, which is unbelievable to me. If its this amazing at 100 lbs, what will it be like when I attain my goal and have lost over 200 lbs????? I can't even fathom that.
 
Of course, having lost over 100 lbs, I am noticing extra skin, which I have no idea how to handle, other than wearing compression clothes and/or always making sure I have a second layer of clothing other to help mitigate the jiggle. There is no way of knowing how bad the skin will be until I get to that bridge. I've started watching Vlogs for people who have lost a bit of weight and are going through the skin removal process. I'm a little nervous about that part... but I know it will probably be a year before I'm there. Some posts I've seen say that women should target body fat % of 17-20 before even considering skin removal surgery. Seeing as I'm still at body fat of 47%, it will be a while.
 
For the record, I'm ready to be at that point, I'm so ready to be past this current phase/stage of the journey... however, I was never given a FF button, so, I have to live through the next 6-12 months while I continue losing weight. It is kind of fun to think that soon I will be approaching the same size as my younger sister, who has always been much smaller than me. While she was in high school, she swam and did equestrian, and wore a size 4. She is currently wearing size 12-14 clothing.
 
Anyone else working to wrap their head around their new/ever changing body? I would love to hear from others about this.

It feels weird being back here again. Last time I was here I was post-op. Desperately reading every scrap of info I could get on WLS. It feels crazy to say it has been 5 months since I had my surgery. It feels like just yesterday that I was on the top floor of a hospital looking out the window at the world and daydreaming about how I was going to conquer it. Since that time, I have accomplished so much. I've finished my first semester of college, dropped around 80lbs and 6 pants sizes, made new friends, straightened my hair, and next Monday I am fulfilling one of my long-time dreams to visit California (San Diego to be exact).
I feel like so much is now possible for me. I feel like I can date if I want to and find a decent guy, I can sign up for a 5k and know I'll do fine. I can be exactly who I want and say what I think without apologizing for it.
 
At the same time, I'll never stop being a fat girl. That's who am I at heart and it's someone to be proud of. I am different from most people. Now my weight loss is slowing down and I'm currently in a stall it's kind of nerve-wracking I sometimes feel like I'll wake up tomorrow and the scale will read 289 again. That fear always gnaws at the back of my mind. I need to come back here from time to time as to not forget how desperate I was, and how much having the sleeve means to me. It's truly a blessing, a lifesaver, but it can't walk for me it's only a crutch. I still need to take the steps, especially now so that self-control has become part of the equation again 5 months out.

So, I am back on the site for the first time since my bypass surgery back in July 2014. I never realized how much I actually need the support of others who have had weight loss surgery. I thought that having my mother around would be a great support system. Even though the therapist, in the pre-op therapy session, told me that she believed my mother sabotages my weight loss goals. When I said that carbs like potato chips and bread are my down fall, she started bring chips into the house 2 bags at a time, buying 10lb bags of potatos and started buying bread again ALL the time. I realize that it is my choice to eat the stuff but it has been hard to resist in the past two weeks. I have more support from my coworkers than I do her, which is amazing to me. One thing that I have learned is that I can no longer let her be the only person in the house who cooks. I have to take control of my kitchen and make sure that I have more healthy than not food in my pantry. If I hear her say, "Healthy food costs too much" one more time, I am going to SCREAM!!! Of COURSE healthy food costs more, but if she is not paying for it then why is she complaining. Anyway... That is what prompted me to come back to the site. I need support and to see some reminders that weight loss success can be attainable. I had slowed down my weight loss because I did not want it to go too fast and I end up looking like some kind of bobble head. That has happened to a lot of people. I also do not want to start looking too old. Hmmm...vain much? I suppose so. But, hey, I am being honest.

Progress or lack thereof:
I'm tired and have been under a lot of stress lately between work and family... I suspect that this has contributed to the slowing of my weight-loss progress... so, today, I came across this article and I just got so annoyed, and its totally irrational, I know. But I'm still annoyed. http://www.pressroomvip.com/shocking-celebrity-weight-loss/ This is a slide show of celebs before/after pics of losing weight.
 
I know I'm impatient... I know that this is a process to work through... It is so annoying to see these things, though... the annoying part, they are dropping 40, 50, 60, 80, 100 lbs... and many of them look great... I've dropped over 90 lbs... and I still have SO MUCH FURTHER TO GO... I know, its only been 6 months... and over 90 lbs in 6 months is pretty fantastic... in fact... its better than what I have ever accomplished...
 
I wish I could get to the point where people stopped looking at me like a fat girl... I still see it in how people respond to me... Of course, I don't know if that will ever happen... I don't know if I will ever NOT be the fat girl. As I find my new body over the next year, I feel like going through this process will be a little hell-on-earth. My perceptions and where I'm going will continue to not match up with how others see me or how I am perceived.
Does anyone else struggle with stupid things like this?
Trying to keep up:
Last week, I think I overdid it a little. I went on a day-trip to Chicago with a group of friends and walked around the city all day. At the end of the day, my pedometer said I went some 7.5 miles. Of course, I was wearing nicer dress shoes and not walking shoes. My muscles hurt in my legs and lower abs for the next two days. It was difficult to get comfortable. All's I wanted to do was drink and eat, not that I could eat much...
Last night, I participated in a walking group at a nearby mall... we walked almost 5 miles and by the time we finished, I was dizzy and light headed. When I hit 5 miles in a day, its not typically all at once. I was really annoyed that I had to sit down to steady myself for a bit. I wasn't out of breath, just dizzy.
I know I'm pushing myself, but it helps be bring down my stress levels, which are up due to work... also, I am trying to change things up so that I can avoid stagnating over the holidays.
Confidence, on a positive note:
I do have to admit, that as my size is shrinking, my confidence is increasing, especially at work. It has been noticed and commented on by my supervisor and co-workers. I still hesitate or stay quiet in group/social situations, but I'm taking the bull by the horns with my project at work... and I'm feeling grounded enough that I've dusted off my application for my PhD program, which is related to my current job/project... and I will be submitting it in the next month.
My 2nd 5K Race post-op:
On Thanksgiving, I participated in the local 5k Turkey Trot, and I was blown away on how well I did. My 5k walk time for the Turkey Trot was 56:41.5...That is about 15 mins less than the 1:11:15 time I got for the 5k in September! My average pace was about 18 mins...Back when I started tracking my walks over the summer, my first mile walk was just under 30 mins. I'm close to cutting that initial time in half!
Oh, and I didn't come in dead last this time. I was number 3607 of 3745. I still want to lose another 25-30 lbs before I start jogging, because I don't want to put too much pressure on my knees, but with the new year, my goal is to complete 1-5k race each month and want to be jogging/running them by summer.
Dusting off the snowboard:
I've been talking about it all fall. My goal is get out on the slopes again this winter and really learn to snowboard. I've been working for the last 6 months get myself ready. I've pulled out all of my gear, which fits me all again! The pants are a little snug, but yeah, I'll get over that. I was going to go out over thanksgiving, but had a family emergency pop up that messed up those plans. I'm ready to head over to a ski area this weekend. I'd go on Saturday, but have a birthday party to attend in the afternoon and my niece and nephew to watch in the evening. It will have to wait until Sunday.

What a great week I had! Last week I got to spend 3 days at OCC, observe surgeries, learn more about the amazing advancements in surgical technique happening at OCC, meet with Dr. Ortiz and Dr. Martinez and Lucia, spend time with the great staff there, record some videos...and the best part, the awesome sauce, I got to meet face to face with patients. I rarely get to do that, and I got to do that in spades this time. I was able to meet an entire family of patients, some that have already had surgery, and several coming in for the first time. What an amazing family this is! Originally 2 of the sisters came for surgery, truly they are sleeve sisters, and they have done so well, and were so pleased with their experience, that another sister came in October, and then more family members. Now think about this... I think we are all willing to put ourselves out there for surgery, but bringing your most prized possessions, your family, your sisters, daughters, sons, aunts, the things that mean the most to you, bringing them to Mexico for surgery... i think that says a LOT about Obesity Control Center! I was so inspired by this family and lucky enough to be taken into this group as a sleeve sister. I've been working with this family, praying for this family, rejoicing with this family, and now watching them succeed towards their goals.... did I say it enough... INSPIRING!

So, thank you to my patients, you are truly the Awesome Sauce on the Burrito of Life! Thank you for letting me be part of your journey!

As always, if you want to reach me you can call 1-866-376-7849 ext. 81 or email me lori at obesitycontrolcenter dot com

Well, more like, my face. When I look in the mirror, my face looks the same as it always has. I never had a fat face to begin with, but now, when I look at pictures of my face, it looks too skinny. Yet I'm still above 200 lbs. My face needs to stop losing weight. LOL! Also, this morning, the scale said 211.5, which is over 100 lbs from my program start weight (and well over 120 from my all time high).
 
Anyhow you be the judge on my face.

The first picture is of me and my husband from a few years back. Please note my face was not fat.
 
 

The second one was taken Thanksgiving weekend. I think my face looks weird.
 
I do realize that they were taken at different angles. But still. I guess if my face is the one thing I have to b***h about then I can't complain too much.

The first image was taken on my birthday in May which is when I committed to a year of better health, the second image was taken yesterday. Its been 5 months, and I've lost 80lbs. I've now lost more post-surgery than I lost during pre-surgery. I am so amazed at the difference that I had to share it. I posted it on my FB page for the whole world (well, at least my world of friends) to see... and the feedback has been astounding.
 
I'm proud of my ability to see this commitment through. The last time I started working with the weight management center, I lasted 3 months... which is not even half the time I needed at that point to qualify for surgery.
 
I am still working with my personal trainer and going to Zumba classes most other days of the week. The only days I don't have activities scheduled are Fridays and Sundays, but I use those days to go out and do things with friends and family (like 5k walks or hiking)... Food-wise, I've mixed it up a bit. I still have the protein shake in the morning and a protein bar as an afternoon snack, then I eat cottage cheese for morning snack and soup or chili for lunch and try to make something different each evening. The day-time eating usually goes pretty well, but that is predictable and I know I can eat it. Its the food that I make at night that isn't so successful. For meats, I can eat chicken and turkey. I can finally stomach an egg. None of the other meats I've tried seem to work. I have a friend who suggested I try to go gluten-free, since its hit-or-miss as to what makes me sick. Has anyone else experienced these limitations 2 months post-op?
 
I'm hoping that my 6-month update that I put out to everyone will be 100 lbs lost. That would be so exciting. It would be almost halfway on my current journey.

Can I just post this picture? A skirt I used to wear (women's 3x) and a skirt I bought yesterday (size XL - from NY & co). I cannot believe my waist is this small.
 

I am a goal-driven individual, it seems to be the best way to keep me on task. As part of this process, it was suggested that I should establish short-, mid-, and long-term goals to keep me going in this process. Despite being larger as a teenager, I was always strong and athletic. I would spend hours outside chopping wood, moving hay, or other manual things during my summer vacations. I biked from county-line to county-line just to say I did.
 
One of my short-term goals was to get back out on the slopes this winter. Its been several years since the last time I went out. Since before my knee surgery in February 2009. That year I had planned on spending new years out on the slopes, but instead, I spent that New Year's Day at the hospital getting an MRI scan on my knee. Yeah, not cool.
 
I have since healed from the knee thing, but I put on a lot of weight, and was really nervous about getting back out on the slopes. I often wonder how I allowed this to happen to me, but I shouldn't dwell on it. As I read recently, you can't move forward in life if you keep re-reading the last chapter.
 
My goal that is keeping my motivated and going at this time, over the holidays, I'm going north and I'm going to get on my snowboard for the first time in half a decade. The poor thing has been calling to me for the last several winters. This winter, I'm going to try to go as often as I can. Of course, I'm planning on working with an instructor early on in the season, to help me get my footing and balance back. In the meantime, my personal trainer is working with me on my balance, agility, and strength. Its SO exciting. Last night's workout was so inspiring. He was impressed with how strong I'm getting. I blew through all of his exercises without faltering. He said he'll continue to work on making it tougher to push me, but doesn't want to push me so far to injure me.
 
To help keep me focused, I decided to bring out my snowboarding pants and hang them where I will see them every morning when I get ready for work. It has been a long 4.5 months, but I've come so far. The first time I tried to put them on, I couldn't even get them past my thighs. As of last night, they come all of the way up, but I still have about 6 inches to lose around the belly before they will fit comfortably. I can do it. I've come this far, I'm not going to stop now.
 
I'm counting down until I can hit the slopes again... 65 days and counting... I think I want to target losing about 25-30lbs, just so I know that the pants will fit better. Compared to where I was just 4.5 months (and 75 lbs) ago, I am sooooo close!
 
Once I accomplish that, I can set my sights on my next set of goals... Running the Warrior Dash in July, and taking the nieces and nephews to Cedar Point to ride the roller coasters! Of course, with 8-10 eligible nieces and nephew (ie, old enough and big enough to ride the big coasters), I'll need to enlist the help of at least 1 other person to caravan down... but I think it would be fun if the siblings would join me.

I know we are told in our educational sessions that surgery isn't magic, allowing for the change to happen overnight. However, I hoped it would be easier to keep a steady loss. I'm going to 3-4 Zumba classes a week, plus seeing my personal trainer twice a week. If I slack off any, I won't lose any weight. This is what I think happened in the past few weeks, where I was sore, sick, or too tired to keep to the routine, and my body just didn't respond. Not to mention, I've been struggling to get enough protein and calories in on a daily basis. My doc wants me at 1,000 calories a day, and I'm getting close, but not quite hitting that number.
 
I stepped on the scale yesterday, and it informed me that I hit 292 lbs. Amazing! The last few weeks have been slow to lose weight. I spent almost 2 weeks bouncing around a single pound. Ugh! After almost 2 weeks stuck on the same number, I stepped on the scale this morning, there it was 292 lbs! In my morning not-so-awake-ness, it took me a minute to do the calculation, but that is a total of SEVENTY-FIVE pounds I've lost since this past spring!!!!!!
 
I'm so excited. I'm 25 lbs away from hitting 100 lbs lost... I'm less than 10 lbs from the goal the surgeon set for me to lose by my next visit, on December 1st.
 
I told my trainer that I want to aim to lose 100 lbs by the next time I see my surgeon. I have 7 weeks to shed these 25 lbs, so, that's only 3-4 lbs each week, and seems completely doable, if I'm not completely stagnant. If I hit that goal, that means I will have lost 100 lbs in the first 6 months. CRAZY!
 
 
Fun story, I had to go shopping for new dress pants this past weekend. I had no choice in the matter. I owned 6 pair of dress pants, 4 pair are now so big that they fall down while I walk. 1 pair fits well, and the last pair doesn't fit quite yet. (Its a size 20 that I picked up on clearance back when I still wore size 20 pants and I liked them so much that I couldn't convince myself to part with them when I got rid of everything else.).
 
After my Zumba class on Saturday, I raided the local goodwill, which had quite a few pair of pants in the larger sizes. I didn't know what size to try, so, I grabbed women's 26, 24, and 22 pants. I was so excited to find out that the size 22 fits! Its a little snug on the waist, but fits the backside, hips, and legs just fine. I picked up 5 pair of dress pants for work and a pair of jeans. I haven't owned jeans in quite a while. This all cost me about $26. I love goodwill! I can't wait until I can get into the smaller clothing sizes, with the better selection.

Yes, I dared! I dared to put myself first, I dared to dream! Not only that but to believe in that dream. Like sitting in the space shuttle, an astronaut nervously but excitedly thinking of everything that put them in that seat and listening to the announcer counting down 3,2,1...to a new world! That new world would bring experiences that pale with words. This is where I stand in anticipation of my sleeve surgery. I am so ready to blast off from this unhealthy planet for a healthy one.
 
My secret mission is to be healthier. 007 knew what his mission was but if he went around telling people what it was, I don't think he would be successful. The whole point is for me to put myself first. One way I do that is to keep my mission secret from all those who mean well but could sabotage my goal with negative energy. This is part of being true to myself, true to what I want and what I need. With such an important decision for my life, I want positive energy to flow. That is part of my health that I hold sacred, that this is my decision, and no one elses.
 
There are those in this world as a child who dreampt of being an astronaut or secret agent one day. This journey makes me feel like both! To say I'm excited is an understatement. I've been ready for this for along time! Embracing a dream. If I can do it, you can do it! Together we can reach new planets and conquer old enemies!

I stepped on the scale yesterday, and I'm down to 309! I can't believe it... I'm 10 lbs away from being back in the 200s... I'm almost back to my post-knee surgery weight from 2009.
 
But what was even cooler? I dragged myself into the 9am Zumba class, and I found myself actually bouncing with some of the songs. There literally was more bounce in my step. It didn't hurt my knee quite as much to jump and bounce. I can only imagine how I'll be flying through the songs once I get closer to my goal!

I stepped on the scale yesterday, and I'm down to 309! I can't believe it... I'm 10 lbs away from being back in the 200s... I'm almost back to my post-knee surgery weight from 2009.
 
But what was even cooler? I dragged myself into the 9am Zumba class, and I found myself actually bouncing with some of the songs. There literally was more bounce in my step. It didn't hurt my knee quite as much to jump and bounce. I can only imagine how I'll be flying through the songs once I get closer to my goal!

Every week, I take a class at my gym (LA Fitness) called Body Works Plus abs. It is what I term a fast and light weight class. Fast enough that you get a cardio effect while doing it, along with high reps (as opposed to the slow and heavy stuff I do in the weight room). The class has 2.5, 5 and 7.5 lb dumbbells in it. Stronger people (usually guys and super fit broads) can go out to the floor and get heavier bells if they want. Normally I take a pair of all three. Last night, Florence, the instructor, walked by and called me out about the 2.5s! She said I was strong enough to stop using them. The high reps do exhaust me! So I took that as a challenge, because normally I do use the 2.5s on some of the shoulder work because I am weak like a kitten in the upper body. I basically only used the 5s and 7.5s for the class. I didn't die. So I guess Florence was right.
 
If this is worst of the problems in my life, I have it pretty good.

I was in a stall. It was making me a little crazy too. Worse than a stall - it seems that I had put back on 5 lbs. But i never admitted to it, because adding it back on to my trackers and tickers made it feel like failure. And I know I was doing everything the way I should. Eating smaller portions, less calories, slower and more deliberate choices of food. Working out as much as i can increasing the amount of calories I would burn. But... there the scale stayed stuck. I could have done a number of things for those 3 weeks. Blamed the lapband for not working. Blamed my body composition for sabotaging me. Cursed the Gods for making me have to be fat.
 
But I remembered something I read from a friend of mine on Facebook who is a Yoga Instructor and really has embraced the lifestyle that goes with studying and practicing yoga. "Anything will work if you stick to it long enough." Pointing out the issue that once we don't see something working in a day or a week or a month we abandon it and try something else... always looking for the quick fix and trying to see results tomorrow. But the fact of the matter is... we didn't get fat over night. It took years of hard work and diligent, consistent, persistent bad habits to get us to this place where we'd want to consider surgery. So it would take equal and opposing diligence, consistence and persistence of positive, good, healing habits to get us where we longed to be. So I looked at the scale and said "f you" and kept on doing what I was told to do. Kept eating right. Doubled up my gym activity and vowed to stick to it. Just keep doing it, because it makes you feel better, your endurance is through the roof and it's a great outlet for frustration. Don't give up.
 
Then suddenly - all the comments - you know the ones I said I wasn't hearing? - started to pour in. "Hey, wow, you're really losing weight..." "you're just melting away" "look at you skinny girl" "don't lose too much weight now..." (that's my favorite one - because I've only just hit the 1/3 mark on what I want to lose. And it's every day. And it 's from everyone. Even the haters that didn't want to admit to me that they saw it like I knew they did. It's a little overwhelming and I try to be gracious with my response but also not let it swell my head. "Thank you - I've been working really hard at it" is my typical reply - and it's true.
 
I'm so excited about my evolving body. I have to shop for some clothes that fit this weekend. And I'm really jazzed about it.
 
And just like that - once I stopped focusing on it... the scale just started moving in the right direction. Those 5 lbs are all but gone now. Hoping that it continues past the lowest point I reached and that I can pack my bags up and put my home in Two-Dorville on the market and move back in to my cute little condo in One-derland. Here I come. And nothing will stop me.

Dreams can come true...You got to want it, fight for it and most of all believe in yourself!!

Something that my best friend encountered when she had her surgery was people giving her a hard time about the surgery. She did not tell a lot of people but apparently some of the people she did tell, talked to other people and quickly it got out. She did not want people to know about her surgery. Not because she was embarrassed by it, but because people who have never done it do not realize how much work it is. Yes there is an advantage because you have built in portion control. But there are so many emotional, physical, and mental side effects that can be very tough.
 
In the first seminar you go to they will tell you, don't tell a lot of people about the surgery. They will tell you it is the easy way out, not because they are trying to be mean (usually) but because they don't understand. You do not owe anyone an explanation. It is your body and your decision. Do not let anyone try to tell you what you can and cannot do. Your future and your health belongs to you. Take charge and make these decisions yourself.

The first couple of days after surgery are a bit fuzzy, but that is to be expected. I tried to ween myself off the pain meds fairly quickly. Now, I only use them at night, if needed to help go to sleep. I haven't used them for the last couple nights. My new stomach and I are still trying to negotiate terms, and each day is spent trying to figure out what things we do and do not like. The only major hiccup I have had in this process is that I woke up this past Thursday night/Friday morning about 3:30am screaming in pain. It was an excruciating pain on the upper-right part of the abs, just under the rib cage. I suspected it was a gallbladder thing. I contacted the doc as soon as his office opened in the morning, and they had me come in for an exam. The doc seems to think it had something to do with gallbladder too. He sent me to get tested and have an ultrasound done of the area. By about 2pm in the afternoon, the pain left about as quickly as it came... and I was able to relax enough to fall back to sleep.
 
Something positive that came out of the doc visit is to see that I dropped almost 10 lbs since surgery. All together, I have lost like 47 lbs, I can hardly believe it. I'm almost at the 50 lbs mark since last spring. How is that even possible? I've never been this successful at losing weight... and most of that weight came off pre-op!
 
So, as I've approached (and maybe even hit) the 50 lbs mark, something I've noticed about my morning/evening walks with the dog is that I feel phenomenal. I mean, as I walk, it feels like there is less gravitational pull on my body... almost like what I would imagine walking across the surface of the moon would be like. I walk faster, the pressure that used to be on my knees and lower back is gone... and my clothing is hanging on me... making it feel like I'm flowing as I walk.
 
I know that people still seen the 300+ lbs version of me, but that version of me is becoming less by the day. I still have a long way to go before I hit my goal. However, with as fit and energetic as I feel at the moment, I see myself more as the person who has already hit that goal. I hope I can continue on this strong in the coming months as winter approaches.

My only regreat is that I didn't do it sooner.
 
I had surgery 3 months ago on Friday. I can't say I was nervous, I was just so excited and I had done so much research and waited so long that i was just ready to cross that threshold!
Surgery went well although due to my VERY HIGH BMI a second surgeon was needed to assist. My surgery was performed using the Da Vinci machine, 5 little incisions.
I woke up a few hours later with awful dry mouth - SO THIRSTY, that was the worst of all. Pain I was expecting, but they kept me pretty drugged up. My friends had a real good time watching me make no sense at all.
Surgery was on Thursday morning and I went home Saturday mid day. My experience was fantastic. Sure I had pain, but you expect a certain level of discomfort. I think it took about 7 days before the bloatness (they pump you full of air) started to subside and the incisions healed up real nice, although the main incision (where they remove the stomach though) was the last to heal and certainly caused muscle pain in the area, which lasted a bit longer. But again, I was expecting pain, although was not only bearable, after two days at home I no longer needed any major pain meds, just aleve for the muscle pain. No nausea. I had no problem drinking my water quota - 64 oz a day, although it took concentrated effort and good timing!
I can say I was back at work on day 6 and by day 10 I was feeling like a pro - I sit behind a desk - so no efforts there, and driving within a week.
The hardest part was really the liquid diet. I was ready for some consistency and varied flavors..
 
My first week I was highly concerned with my protein intake and paranoid - I was online comparing myself to others - PLEASE DO NOT DO THAT - many doctors drill down no less than 60-80 grams of protein, but my surgeon/NUT were not that worried at all. I was only allowed one 4 oz serving of protein shake.
By week two I was over that and stuck by what my NUT/DOC said. I can't say I was entirely sold on only 3x 4oz meals a day, but I have been sticking to it!
I felt so good that there were times I wondered if the doctor really removed 2 thirds of my stomach.. But every meal I had reminded me that he had - 5 little bites and I was stuffed.
I did not stick to the foods progression plan after 3 weeks. I skipped the phase 2 blended food stages altogether. By week 3 I was adding soft, mushy fish, scrambled eggs and other soft proteins. Just a tiny amount and some definitely didn't work and came right back up.
I never lost the pleasure of eating, although I had little to no hunger. I got to enjoy foods I would not indulge on otherwise, now that I ate so little I could afford it - like expensive salmon and Shark, and I even had a filet mignon, but honestly I don't feel the same way about red meats. The last meat to introduce was chicken - that is sort of dry. But I enjoyed being able to eat my proteins.
I did not eat much in a way of carbs at all. I actually decided to go Paleo, not because I couldn't but because first priority is protein and when you only eat 12 oz of food a day, you better make sure you are eating the right foods.
I had my first glass of wine at 2 months out and I did NOT get tipsy or drunk, but I also took an hour with that one little glass of wine.
I rarely drink, as I think my liver deserves a break - it needs to break down all my fat! LOL
 
I have been seeing a counselor and attending a eating disorder support group, because I knew the honeymoon would not last forever and I needed to have the right support when I started to fall back into old mental habits. I have tried to be very proactive about this and see if from a 3 dimensional perspective. It's not just about the eating and the losing weight, it's about the emotional relationship with food and the fear of failure all of us, professional dieters feel. We failed so many times that we are just waiting for the other shoe to drop when things are going well - to which my counselor gently reminds me - BE MINDFUL. Eat mindfully. My counselor does rock!
 
My first melt down was actually yesterday ( be happy I didn't write yesterday) From surgery day - 3 months ago to today, I have lost 44 lbs, gone from a size 20/22 to a comfortable size 14, and lost a combined 20 inches. Naturally, that is not enough for me - I want to lose it ALL by tomorrow.. So when I completely fell off the NO SUGAR wagon and had a very small piece of the most amazing chocolate cake ever made by man - I went in panic mode. I had no control over that hormonal induced craving... That was the first time since surgery that I felt I was not in control. It was awful. Pre menstrual and very tired, all i wanted to do was eat sweets and salty snacks. Which I have not done since memorial day. I can't tell you how awful I felt and how much I cried. But remember I can only really fit 4-5 oz of food at the time, so even on my worst day, the weakest and unhealthy, I still lost .4 lbs... Thank you Banana!!! - (as I call my sleeve)
 
By this morning and after a good night sleep and a good cry, I woke up back to my new normal. Not starving, not craving the worst foods and not hating myself for being human. I got my power back (screw you hormones!)
 
The road to post surgery success is not a straight line. It can be confusing, and zig zag on you. (You WILL lose a lot of hair) It will be filled with plateaus and desappointment due to unrealistic expectations, and it will rock your world, because it doesn't change who you are at all. No surgery does that, although many people think that losing weight is the answer to all ailments - But it will be filled with empowerment and non surgery successes of all kinds, it will give you hope and lift you up!
 
I can wear bracelets and watches now - they fit loosely
I can wipe my own butt without being a contortionist (sorry but I was that big)
I can paint my toe nails and shave my legs again
I can fit behind the wheel with plenty of room to spare
I sleep much better
I no longer hide from cameras!
I am not hot all the time. My internal thermostat has adjusted itself
My cholesteral is under 200 for the first time in 20 years (163 actually)
I can see my colar bones
I have a waist! (who knew?)
I also have a knee, an ankle and you can actually see them.
I enjoy shopping again - my teen loves that!
 
And the list goes on and on..
 
So if you ask me what is my biggest regreat about having Gastric Sleeve surgery? it's that I didn't do it sooner.
If you have been through surgery, would love to hear about your experience.
And if you have not yet, I wish you the best of luck and much success on your journey!
 
Mindfully,
Karen

So my 2 month lapbandiversary is upon me and it's been an interesting ride thus far. A great one - but interesting. The first month was all about the weight just sloughing off of me and I was like WHOA. But as I started to pickup solids, that slowed down considerably. So I did the next logical thing I could think of -- work out harder. I do about an hour of exercise a day, between running 5K and doing some BeachBody home program, i'm always moving around and pushing myself. Which I know has created more muscle mass for my body to deal with. But the stamina I feel is UNREAL. Never before would I think that i could run 5K (i used the Couch 2 5K program by the way) that coached me along and a kick ass playlist that would kick in JUST when I thought I'd quit. It's almost like it knew I needed that little extra bit. I still marvel at the fact that I can go at a jogging pace for 28 minutes. When I first started... I couldn't get through the warm out without being out of breath. And that is real.
 
What i hate to reveal is that somewhere in there there are 5 lbs that have resurfaced on my body. I want to believe it's muscle weight. Cause that just makes me feel better. And I'm sure that it is, because all my clothes fit differently. i'm wearing stuff I haven't touched since before (or right after) my daughter was born. We're talking -- she just turned 3 years old. And I couldn't wear that stuff for all this time. So I won't kill myself over the lbs.... but in the same instance, I won't go changing all of my tickers to reflect the "weight gain".
 
Something great that did happen... the other day I was walking with a few friends after a memorial service for a dear departed friend gone too soon (he was only 43... and consequently is the new motivation in my head when I think I want to give up on getting better / healthier / slimmer). On our way from the church to the car in upper Harlem, there's a gang of people out out in the streets... it was hot and folks were on the street to get cool before they went to bed. The friends who accompanied me were slender and trim and always have been since I knew them in college. And I walked between them. So the men outside were catcalling "Ohhh... look at them... 1, 2 and 3...." "mm mmm mm... i wouldn't mind being warm next to them tonight..." and then finally, "Which one would I like.. the one in the middle... mmmmm hmmmm!" Now... under normal circumstances, I wouldn't give that man the time of day... but something weird happens when you're out of shape - no one notices you. You literally disappear although you're getting bigger and harder to miss. I'm aware there are a gang of feminist movements out there about women being catcalled and objectified in a society that belittles our worth and intrinsic value. But for just this moment... I reappeared on the map as a viable wantable thing... and I? LOVED IT. I smiled to myself and kept it moving. And will use it as fire in my little furnace of needing to be better.
 
Some visuals attached of my progress. I have to keep remember it's only been 2 months. 30 lbs is A LOT. And I shouldn't poopoo it. But I do... because I want more. But I'm also willing to work for it.
 
On to 40... October 1st, here I come!

My surgery was on Thursday, 8/28... I was in the hospital Thursday, Friday, and they let me go home yesterday. I was a bit loopy all of Friday, and I wasn't completely there yesterday. Luckily, my nephew was able to hang out with me all afternoon.
 
I told my nephew that one task I've been assigned from the doc is to release the CO2 that is caught in my gut. He made a game of it and started rating my releases on a scale of 1-10. After a while, he started to join in. I mean, what teenaged boy would pass up a gas passing contest??
 
At one point, we were laughing so hard that things got a little out of control, however, I feel a lot less like the balloon I came home as. I mean, this is about how I felt (link below)
 
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Tv6DJxVDN-Y/UK573JF6a2I/AAAAAAAAB3o/dH6KjTjJoSQ/s400/violet-beauregarde.jpg
 
I feel a bit groggy today, but that is to be expected. I don't hurt anywhere, just am a bit uncomfortable at times. I managed to consume about 600 calories yesterday and about half the water I need. I'm glad I haven't hit that point that so many people talk about when they are nauseated and/or throwing up. I'm taking the pain meds as needed. Mostly, before I lie down to sleep.
 
I'm sticking to the doc's orders on how to consume food and how much to move. Just not quite to the amount he wants me to be consuming. It feels weird that I have no hunger or appetite, I'm consuming as best as I can, and thinking of it more like medicine than food. Something to keep me healthy and going while I recover.

It's August 30th and I had my sleeve surgery on July 22nd. Weighed 320 then and weighed 340 two weeks before the surgery. Am at 275 now for for a total loss of 45 pounds since surgery date. Feels good to have dropped so much weight in so little time. Still not hungry very often and starting to eat some solid food. Feels great to throw away big cloths. Not buying much for new cloths till next month when we go back to Maine from Alaska. Goal is to be around 240 or less by Christmas time

I did it! I did it! During my initial appointment with the surgeon in July, he stated that I needed to lose another 15 lbs prior to surgery. My Pre-op appointment with him was yesterday. I've 16 lbs since my appointment with him in July, and I've been greenlighted for surgery next week. Yes, a week. I'm now at 7 days and counting. My nerves are a bundle, and my excitement is off the chart.
 
I have lost over 30 lbs since my birthday at the end of MAY (in 3 months' time). That is crazy. No other attempt to lose weight has been this 1) consistent or 2) successful. I'm fitting back into my dress clothes that I bought last summer when I returned from working in Central America. Still need to drop another 50 lbs to be pre-knee injury/surgery weight... but I'm getting there. I now have less than 200 lbs before I hit my goal.
 
Sorry, my thoughts are not cohesive today. Lots of things on my mind. I start my all liquid/no solids consumption tomorrow.
 
To do pre-surgery list:
1) start all liquids (8/22)
2) do final blood draw (8/22-8/25)
3) pre-registration call with the hospital (8/26)
4) final pre-op nurse check-in/weigh-in (8/26)
5) get my POA documentation signed/notarized/filed (8/26)
6) review/go through 24 hour pre-op checklist (8/27)
7) pack for hospital stay (8/27)
8) stop all liquids by midnight (8/27)
9) show up to hospital (8/28)
 
My leave of absence from work has been handled. My work is being temporarily transitioned to a co-worker while I'm gone... my nephew will be taking care of the house/dog/cat while I'm gone. I should see if my trainer will get a pic of me tonight when I go workout. That would be fun to see a difference, even from a few weeks ago.
 
Waiting it the worst... patience is not my forte... sigh.