Inner Surfer Girl

I agree that no one has the right to tell someone how to feel. Your feelings are your feelings. You get to choose how you express them or share them. But, no one has the right to tell someone how to respond. You can ask nicely, but ultimately, it is up to you to choose how you react to that response. Giving and receiving advice and constructive criticism is a skill. In my opinion, it is a skill that we all improve at with experience, practice, and effort. Especially, on the receiving end. When I pray for guidance or wisdom, God's answers sometimes comes from the most unlikely place and in unexpected ways. Being willing to listen to feedback is a gift. Take what you can use and leave the rest.

Congratulations on the weight loss and the new baby (I assume you had the baby?) I recommend you make an appointment with your NUT to talk about strategies for reaching your goals going forward. In the meantime, go back to basics. Follow your program. Weigh, measure, and track your food. Practice mindful eating, eat slowly, take small bites, and chew thoroughly. Focus on reaching or exceeding your Protein and Fluid target every day. Avoid starches and added sugars. Take your Vitamins and supplements as instructed. And, exercise. Embrace the Stall! http://BariatricPal.com/index.php?/topic/351046-Embrace-the-Stall

I think a few things are different: 1) I truly believe the sleeve is physically a re-set for my metabolism. I was noting the other day that pre-sleeve I worked hard with little or no results. Post-sleeve I actually see results from my hard work. 2) I think conventional dieting practice (focus on calories in/calories out for example) is not only wrong but counterproductive. The need to minimize calories while maximizing volume is also counterproductive. 3) Stalls. Pre-op, inevitable stalls were a time to get discouraged and quit. Now, I know that stalls are a normal, natural, and necessary part of the process of losing a large amount of weight. I am sure there are other differences, these are just the most obvious ones to me right now.

I agree, do what you need to do to get her to complete your clearance. Looking for another therapist also sounds like a great idea. This whole process takes patience, positivity, and persistence.

This is terrible. It sounds like she is disorganized and a procrastinator. If she had you come on for an appointment time just for the letter, she could have written it while you were there. If she has reservations about you having surgery or recommendations for you then she would have told you so and/or put it in the letter. Take a big breath and talk to her frankly. Try asking her what you can do to help her provide the letter. If you can take it out of the adversarial realm you may get better results. Best of luck. I know hold-ups and hiccups are frustrating, but they seem to be an almost inevitable part of the process.

Almost everyone comes home from the hospital weighing more than when they went in--it's all the IV fluids they pump into you. It is absolutely not an indication of your future success with the sleeve! For that very reason, I didn't get near a scale until my first follow-up appointment with my surgeon. I agree. It is a good idea to weigh infrequently, especially in the early weeks and months. Just follow your program and the weight will come off. Initially, I only weighed at Doctor's appointments which for me was a great strategy.

PS, I know me, so I don't go anywhere near the "Challenge" threads. I don't open them or read them. I am not in a competition.

An alternative if you need to eat variety is to eat somewhat like the the Japanese eat. I think I read somewhere that they aim to have 37 different foods a day. What that doesn't mean is 37 food items but more very small amounts/ almost garnish portions/ of 37 ingredients. Multi-ingredient foods like: Soups, stews, casseroles, etc. come to mind. As far as I can tell, if you do this you really need to be cooking every day. For instance making a pot of vegetable Soup, etc. This would also be where using a lot of herbs and spices can come into play.

See, context is everything!

You have received some great encouragement and feedback from some very experienced people. I know how hard it is to be open and honest about your feelings. You are or were feeling vulnerable and maybe didn't get the response you wanted so may be feeling attacked and defensive. I hope you can see past that feeling to the genuine care and concern that underlies the responses you have received. You did use some very loaded words like: failure and shame. Take what you need and leave the rest. Now for my two cents. First, it doesn't sound at all like you failed. You had a very busy week and didn't meet all the objectives you set for yourself. Whether or not your goals and objectives were realistic, you did what you could. SMART goals are: Smart, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Timebound. I know for many of us, me included, we thought that a goal of losing x number of pounds by y date was a SMART goal, I have learned for me that it isn't. My goals have to be related to inputs and not outputs. Which brings me to the specific goal that you think you failed at. Do you have an activity tracker? I bet that between the assembly and the field trip, you got quite a lot of exercise in. Exercise doesn't have to include time at the gym to be effective. I got a Misfit Shine for Christmas and really love it. I like it because my exercise of choice is swimming so I can swim with it but it also is good for counting all activity. As a teacher (which it sounds like you are), you may find an activity tracker really helpful. Someone recommended Brene Brown. I would second that recommendation. I just started reading her Gift of Imperfection. Another book you might want to consider is Connie Stapleton's Eat It Up! She is a therapist who works with WLS patients and her book is very practical. I think there is a companion workbook, too. If you don't have one already, you may want to consider talking to a counselor or therapist. I truly hope that none of your week's are "week's of shame". Embrace the Stall! http://BariatricPal.com/index.php?/topic/351046-Embrace-the-Stall

What you are experiencing is normal. Stalls are a normal, natural, and necessary part of the weight loss process. Everyone stalls, and almost everyone experiences a stall about three weeks after surgery. Embrace the Stall! http://BariatricPal.com/index.php?/topic/351046-Embrace-the-Stall

How far out ate you from surgery? How close are you to goal? Are you meeting your Protein and Fluid targets every day? What works for me is to focus on reaching that protein target. For me, when I eat out I try to order one protein-rich entree and then have a side of vegetables, Soup, or something similar. Unless I order from the appetizer menu, I usually have leftovers. The challenge I see in how you are eating is that it would be more difficult to get in and track protein if you are eating portions of several servings of food rather than sticking to one serving. Is there a particular reason you can't or won't just choose one entree instead of grazing on a variety of entree choices? Is there a particular reason you chose to have a Bloody Mary instead of a Virgin Mary or just tomato juice? I think I get the point your counselor is trying to make when it comes to the decisions you are making around food. As far as I am concerned, variety is good throughout the day, but not necessarily all at one time.

The first few weeks I lived on Premier Protein, ProtiDiet liquid beverage concentrates, ProtiDiet tomato basil and creamy chicken Soups, Syntrax nectar (fuzzy navel is my favorite), GNC Lean 25 orange cream, V8, sugar free Popsicles, and sugar free Jello. I added Danon Light & Fit Greek yogurt, cottage cheese. Refried Beans, no sugar added diced peaches, and no sugar added applesauce for the transition from full liquids to soft foods. Just keep in mind that you won't be able to consume a large volume. Getting in all of your protein and fluids will be your priority.

What is your Protein target? Are you getting in all of your protein and Fluid every day? Have you talked to your NUT about your goals? Embrace the Stall! http://BariatricPal.com/index.php?/topic/351046-Embrace-the-Stall

Yes, I had that fear, but the fear of not waking up every day was higher.

This is one of the things I have been paying attention to on My 600 Pound Life where I see myself reflected. It is interesting to see everyone pre-op take huge bites of food before even chewing or swallowing what they already have in their mouth. No wonder the portion sizes and volume of food consumed is so massive. Just to think about the difference between chewing a small bite 20-30 times versus taking 20-30 big bites of food is quite sobering.

I find chili, refried Beans, black beans, soup, etc. comforting. I don't make it myself, but my mom's pot roast with roasted vegetables is good, too. If you think in terms of high-protein, low starch you should be ok.

I get a lot of my dried herbs and spices at the Amish store.

My legs in the compression boots.

Yes, it has improved with weight loss. Now that I am undergoing treatment it is really improving.

850 calories a day and over a year post-op? You aren't eating enough in my opinion.

The other benefit to chewing thoroughly is that you can actually enjoy the taste of your food!

Without context it is hard to know if your surgeon's expectations are aggressive or not. What was your starting weight? Are you getting in all of your Protein and fluids? Are you avoiding starches and added sugars? Are you taking your Vitamins and supplements as recommended? Are you exercising? Without more information a raw number of pounds lost doesn't really have much meaning to me. It could be great or it could be lousy.

Definitely talk to your NUT. I am surprised that you don't know your target, especially since you are 14 months out. What have you been doing up to now? My protein goal is also 100 grams a day, every day, for life. According to my surgeon, the goal for all men and everyone who starts at a BMI of 50 or greater, the goal is at least 100 grams. For women who start out at a BMI of less than 50 it is at least 80 grams. Yes, not getting enough protein and Fluid (at least 64 oz. a day) can slow down or stall your weight loss. Embrace the Stall! http://BariatricPal.com/index.php?/topic/351046-Embrace-the-Stall

I think this is a situation where you just need to feel the fear and do it anyway. Do you have a YMCA or a medical Wellness Center near you? I guarantee, that if you go to a facility like that you will see all shapes, sizes, ages, and physical ability levels. I currently go to a wellness center run by our local hospital with an attached physical rehab unit and the diversity is incredible. Whether you go somewhere like that or a regular commercial gym, believe me, you won't be that interesting to anyone. Most people are focused on why they are there, not why you are there.