Fanny Adams

I stopped using all those specialised eye creams more than twenty years ago, when I discovered (from my theatre studies as an English/Drama teacher) that plain old cold cream worked better than anything and was much better for my skin. For the last 20 odd years, I have used Nivea's Coenzyme Q10 Day Cream to remove eye makeup. It's cheap, it doesn't take much, and it works better than any of the various "cleaners" I've tried on occasions throughout the years. I just put a small dab under my eye, rub it around the entire eye socket, then take the excess off with a tissue - moisturiser and cleanser, all in one and look Ma, no wrinkles (I'm 45)! :redface:

Quote: Originally Posted by susan4794 Thanks for the support guys. Her stepmom is about 37 years old. Before she started sleeping with my ex, we were actually best friends! After she had an affair with my husband while we were still married, she couldn't understand why our friendship couldn't continue. Yes, she is truly an idiot. It's amazing how clueless some "best friends" can be. After I caught my best friend lying on my loungeroom floor with my husband's little white bum going up and down between her legs, while I was HOME!!, she didn't get why I didn't want to be friends with her any more. I guess chasing her out of the house with a broom wasn't a big enough clue. What was even funnier is that after my husband and I split and they got together, she used to ring me up and try to complain about his violence, emotional blackmail and manipulative controlling ways - and this was after watching how he had treated me for the previous several years, and even helping me talk him into staying at their house after parties because I was too scared to go home with him, knowing that he'd drunk enough that the "evil switch" in his head had been triggered. My revenge was watching her disintegrate as a person, just by living with him :rolleyes2:. She was always an emotionally fragile woman and I couldn't understand how she could ever imagine that she could handle that life. After only a year with him, she ended up in a mental hospital with a complete nervous breakdown... so sad :rolleyes2::tongue2:.

LOL - I think if someone called me "fluffy", I'd smack em right in the face and say "so how fluffy was THAT, eh?? EH??" PS for Blue Eyed Girl - I like "cuddly" :rolleyes2:. I'm definitely cuddly!!

Damn!! I WANT some of those!! Did the article come with a link? :confused_smile::drool:

LOL! I like your style! :smile2: I know how you feel about not wanting to reach out for support - I LOATHE support groups and all that touchy-feely stuff, but like you, I've come to realise that I need this place to help me with questions and to relate to people who truly understand where I'm coming from in terms of weight issues. I'm sure you'll find it helpful too. To answer your questions: You won't go mad but you might wish you did . Stick to it closely as this is the all-important healing phase and if you charge ahead of schedule, you can have complications later down the track even if it all "feels fine" at the time. Try to get some alternative liquids in. You say "full liquids", rather than "clears", but I'm not sure if that is just being unfamiliar with the terminology or if your doctor really has you on full liquids immediately after surgery. It is more common to see 4-7 days of clears first, then full liquids thereafter. In case you didn't know the difference, chicken stock or broth is a "clear", cream of chicken & corn soup is a "full". There are some recipes listed in here that might help you stave off madness through boredom. Everyone is different but I found day 4 to be about the most painful, with things gradually getting better after that. I would expect it to be sore (not painful), especially if you do anything that tugs on the stomach muscles, for at least 2 weeks. Can't help you there, coz I'm currently without partner, so didn't get the chance to test it. At a guess, I think I would have been up for gentle stuff after about a week, more strenuous fun after 2 weeks and swinging from the ceilings by about 4 weeks post-op. See my comments re sex above :smile: Hmmm... could it be caffeine withdrawals? I didn't have headaches, but then again, my doctor didn't ban caffeine so I didn't have a withdrawal problem. If not that, dunno... maybe others have had the same? Yakking SHOULD be your greatest fear. The absolute last thing you want to do right now is upchuck - it can really damage the healing process. My doc was so adamant that I DO NOT allow myself to yak in those first fiew weeks that he gave me two types of medicine to deal with it. One was a general anti-nausea pill to be taken 4 times a day, the other was a wafer to be put under my tongue in emergencies if I felt the yak was "coming ready or not". I was lucky and didn't need the second at all, and stopped taking the first after 2-3 days as I wasn't nauseous. If you are feeling really nauseous and haven't got medication to deal with it, call your doctor and see what he can do for you. Good luck on your journey!

Whoohooo!!! Ok, it might not be as big a deal as losing 100lb but I'll get to that milestone too, in time! It has felt like it's been forever that I've had to look at that number and say "I have over 100lb to lose...over 100lb!!" But NO MORE! I probably could have said it a while back if I hadn't been quite so ambitious in setting my goal weight, but if I had done so I think I would have felt I was cheating and would have known it wasn't really true. A target of 60kg (135lb) is quite ambitious but I have been there before. In fact, the first time I got UP to that weight I cried my eyes out and started this whole yoyo dieting that got me into this mess in the first place. I was 21 at the time and had a 2 year old daughter, so it wasn't even pregnancy that did it to me. At 20, with a 1 year old, I was only 54kg (120lb) but I don't want to get back there. I think, at 45, I would be too thin at that weight. I am only 5ft 3in, so 60kg is a BMI of 23, which is right smack inside the normal BMI range. OMG, I am starting to really believe that this can happen for me! :woot:

Mmmm... BBQ at work for dinner tonight. I had a BBQ'd marinated chicken kabab, BBQ'd vegetable kabab, 3 large prawns in shell and a spoonful of caesar salad - YUMMY!! OOH - and 2 glasses of red wine *grins*

This makes me sad, Nancy :thumbs_up: I tried to send you this PM but you've turned them off. I don't know if you'll be back to read this, but I hope so, so I'll repeat it here: Hi Brandy, It sucks how that thread has turned out but I wish you wouldn't leave. If you do decide to go, I'd like to stay in touch. You can email me on Fanny_Adams99@hotmail.com, if you'd like to chat more. Good luck on your journey! *hugs* Fanny

Elenation, my sincere apologies. I got your posts mixed up with Realtorhonda's and thought it was you that made the "angry" comments and demands for explanations. I should have paid attention to the "change" in tone and gone back to check. Sorry about that.

You know guys, this is turning into a bit of a bash session and I don't think that helps anyone in the long run. Just as the band itself is adjustable, there are many different ways to approach living with it and many paths to success in losing weight with it. Jachut's approach has been to keep restriction light, eat well and throw herself into exercise to compensate for the higher calorie intake. Wasa's approach has been to keep restriction tight, eat 600 cal a day and exercise too. Both have done well and have lost weight successfully, but that's not the only possible approach. There's no doubt that fewer calories + more exercise = fast weight loss, but some of us prefer to take our time and get to our goals in a little more leisurely fashion. While Jachut is my personal band-hero and I admire Wasa's success, I'm not following either of them faithfully on every point. Personally, I can't see myself ever running a marathon, whether it was for pleasure or hating every minute of it but doing it for the benefits. I couldn't bear to live on 600 cal a day and I chose the band BECAUSE I didn't want to spend the rest of my life dieting or on an extremely restricted calorie regime. I try not to "diet" but focus on healthy eating, exercise sporadically but am finding I can increase it as I get more fit. I'm not going to win any speed races in losing the most weight in the shortest space of time. I plan to take at least 18 months to get to goal and at my current pace, I'm right on target for that. That doesn't mean that Jachut's or Wasa's or my approach is the right one for everyone. Each of us needs to work out for ourselves how this band works best for us. Now Brandy had an unfortunate start to her bandlife. For whatever reason, she was unaware that the band wouldn't help her limit her intake of slider foods and and struggled to find the right balance for her between restriction, food choices and exercise. She knows better now and is trying to find a pace that suits her. She knows her own mind and has stated that focussing directly upon diet and exercise causes her to become obssessed and then rebellious and she defeats her own efforts with that approach. Fine, I can relate - say the word "diet" to me and my immediate reaction is "Oh my god, where's the chocolate!!" If she feels that she will get better results by NOT triggering those reactive emotions in herself, then good luck to her. My advice to you, Brandy (and remember it is only advice, take it or leave it as you will), is to chill out a little and stop stressing about calories, diet or "focussing" on anything. Keep restriction light, aim to eat good healthy food, and let the band do it's job in helping you to not feel hungry all the time. Don't forbid yourself anything, because you know that will only make you crave it all the more, but keep in mind that it was the junk that got you to where you are now. A little treat now and then is good for the soul; icecream, chips and chocolate every day is not going to get you to goal. When you are not hungry, because you've been filling up on good quality food, it's easier to make good choices and limit the treats to the occasional small one instead of binging. Exercise when you can - look for easy ways to start this, rather than throw yourself into a strenuous routine that you can't sustain. Use little tricks like taking the furtherest carpark space at the shopping centre, instead of the closest, using the stairs instead of the elevator when it's only 1 or 2 flights up. As you get fitter, increase this at a pace that suits you. You won't see the pounds melt away with this approach. Accept that and embrace it. They WILL drift away slowly, a pound here and there, and that will add up over time. As you see it start to go, you might find that you become more motivated and want to put more effort into dropping the weight faster - you can do that too! It's all up to you and your choice. Take the examples of everyone in here and find the bits that fit with your own personality. Work out what works for you and change it to suit your needs, when it feels right for you. Good luck with your journey!

Hey everyone! *waves* I finally qualified to post in here!! :biggrin2: It's taken me a little over 5 months, but I have dropped from 275 to 231, 44lb down, and with a goal of 135lb, that means I NO LONGER HAVE 100LB TO LOSE!! :biggrin::thumbup: So how it everything in double digit land?

I can understand why people are reluctant to tell others, if they have been receiving such negative feedback and lack of support. I guess I am very lucky in that I have had nothing but positive feedback from my family and even comments like "Well done for doing something to make a change!" from co-workers, etc. I wish all of us could experience that level of support *sighs* Still, I have to say that I would be disappointed to learn that a public figure (I have no idea who Fern is), would cover up her methods and make public statements that "it was all diet and exercise" until she was threatened with "outing". Every time someone says that, other people hear it and think "See? So-and-so was successful with only diet and exercise, what's wrong with YOU??" It reinforces the idea that we fatties are just lazy and self-indulgent. A public figure has a wonderful opportunity to educate others about the band, letting people know that it ISN'T the "lazy way out". If the public gets enough education on this, and on the incredibly low success rate of "diet and exercise", maybe the rest of us would meet with less prejudice and misapprehensions. I know it's easy for me to say, because I haven't yet had much negativity when I've told my story, but I take every opportunity to explain how I've achieved what I've done so far (and plan to continue doing!) There has been a couple of times when a co-worker has asked "what are you doing to lose so much weight?" and I've not had the time to go into it and have just quickly said "eating less!" and I have felt really guilty about that - it felt like lying. Mostly, I'll stop in the corridor and start raving about the benefits of the band, given even a sniff of a chance to do so :smile2:

WHOOHOOO!!! Good for you!!! That must feel bloody FANTASTIC! I can't wait till I can say the same :behindsofa:

Hmmm... you won't try to explain your beliefs but when I didn't reply with my explanation of my beliefs quickly enough to respond to your demand, it was because I'm "angry"? I think it is more that you CAN'T explain your beliefs. They're inexplicable. I can provide logical and rational reasons for my beliefs all day, whereas the "arguments" on the other side come down to "it feels right to me" - pure emotion.

Thanks for posting this, Annie!

Great story and a great summary at the end! I too have found that the only time I get stuck or have problems is when I'm talking with friends while eating. It doesn't matter what the food is, and I normally have no trouble with any kind of food, if I'm yapping while I'm eating, I don't pay enough attention until BAM the band reminds me that it's there. I'm working on it though. Don't give up on pork chops though - just don't pick that option when you're out to dinner with friends! :thumbup: PS: What about elephants named Bob? Do you think those ones would be ok?

I just want to reinforce everything MacMadame said. 10lb in 8 weeks is great, especially in the post-op healing phase - you don't suck at all! Just think - that could turn into 20lb in 16 weeks, 30lb in 24 weeks, 60+lb in a year! I think you'll find that it will speed up too, now that the healing is over and as you get more fills. I don't eat 0.5 of a cup at meals and I wouldn't want to restrict myself to that! I eat around 1.0 - 1.5 for a total of 1200 - 1400 cal a day, sometimes a little under that, sometimes a little over. I kept getting disappointed at first at what I thought was my "slow" progress, but I kept telling myself that this was the game plan I had decided upon and I should give it a chance. Six months later and I am right where I planned to be - nearly 50lb gone and on my way to 100lb in a year. I'm betting the next fill will be the one that rings the bell for you - I know the third one was the charm for me and until then, I didn't think it was working much at all! Once you find that spot, the momentum picks up and the numbers start to add up to real progress. Just don't expect to never be hungry - we are SUPPOSED to get hungry!! The trick is to only be hungry at meal times and in between times the band takes the edge off enough that we can control our urges, while we re-train our eating habits.

In the post-op healing phase, that's probably a good idea, but when you get back to solid foods, you should really think about putting fibre back in your diet.

@Dawnstunes: Congrats on what you have achieved! You've lost more than I have in six months, so don't think that isn't an achievement - it's wonderful! Slow and steady wins this race and we'll all get there in the end.

LOL!! I'd try that line about "these friends of mine" but I don't think anyone would believe me - true though it is! :party:

Yes, my point of view is an opinion, nothing more. However, I am not speaking from ignorance or a lack of capacity. I too have felt that "conversion" moment, have believed that I had a "personal relationship with god". I come from an atheist family and went seeking in my early teens, attending bible classes and going to many different churches over the course of several years. I had myself baptised into the Church of Christ at 15 years old and at that time, was convinced that I really felt "his presence" in my life. However, the older I got, the more I questioned it. The more I learned about psychology and the power of our own minds, the more I realised that all that emotional reaction to "hearing the Word" was just that - emotion, happening inside my own head. Take an objective look at the language of prayer. Pretty much all of it comes down to "Daddy, help me. Daddy, love me. Daddy, please make the bad things go away". Now I love and adore my Daddy and will always be Daddy's Little Girl, but I'm a grown up now and I don't need him to shelter and guide me any more, and I certainly don't need an imaginary substitute in the sky.

Hi Christasha. My day today is going to be a great one *dances around* - see my other thread as to why. It's funny, yesterday I was miserable with the first cold I've had in years and years and went home from work early. Today, I get smaller pants and all of a sudden, the cold isn't bothering me anymore! LOL! I'm still stuffed up, nose running, sneezing, etc, but right now I just don't care!! *dances some more*

My comment was badly worded and even after I edited it, it didn't really convey the sense that I meant. With that said, there are several instances where I see a "believer" as being ostensibly weaker than a non-believer - although in the overall scheme they have the same strengths. One is the believer who has that "conversion" moment after a major life crisis or failure. You know, the ones the Salvation Army claim when they help an alcoholic out of the gutter. Most of the stories I have heard on those lines speak of crying out to the heavens for help and feeling the answer unmistakeably. Their belief ever after is unshakeable because they have FELT the power. The other is the day to day believer, who prays for guidance and help with their daily lives. These people will often say god speaks to them in their hearts, they pray and the answers come to them. They feel a personal connection with him. What all of these people, the hallelujah convert and the daily devout, don't seem to take into account is that ALL of this interaction, emotion and divine response takes place between the bone walls of their own skulls. It is all a state of mind. The human mind is an amazing and powerful thing and it is more than capable of deluding our conscious selves into anything it wants us to believe. We reach out into an uncaring universe and cry "God save me!!" and we hear an answer - that's our own selves answering, in a disguise we can accept. At a conscious level we have no faith in our own ability to make decisions, find strength to face life, etc, so we pray to a god for strength and guidance - what we find is our own inner strengths and our underlying feel for what we should be doing. To me the desire for religion is a remnant of the childhood desire for a loving nuturing parent. As human beings, we NEED that in childhood as a survival thing - without love between parents and children, we would not survive as a species. When it comes time to grow up and face the world alone, many of us are afraid to walk without that comforting parent as our shield. So we create our own "parent" and give "him" all the powers that we need to help shelter us.

Whoohoo! When you get to that goal, remember, Sydney is not the be all and end all of Australia. Come to the west side too! West is Best! :biggrin2:

Looking good, Nat! Look at that jawline come out! :tongue2: Congrats!