darby81805

I haven't seen my doctor in a really long time. I know that is not responsible of me at all but to be perfectly honest I feel as long as I don't get another fill at least I don't have to face another possible failure. That probably sounds completely absurd but it's just my mindset right now. I want SO BADLY for this to work for me the way it has worked for so many others and as long as I don't get a fill I don't have to say "Well that didn't work either." Honestly as little as I eat I should be a heck of a lot smaller than I am so I completely don't get it. Most days I eat a protein bar or greek yogurt with granola for breakfast, usually can't get a whole lean cuisine down for lunch, and then dinner is whatever the rest of the family is eating and I STILL CANNOT LOSE WEIGHT. I will take responsibility and say that I don't exercise as often as I need to but I do exercise and I should be losing more weight that I am!!!!!!!! I'm not gaining ridiculous amounts of weight but I do fluctuate 5lbs. Unfortuantely its that back and forth that is discouraging me. I will exercise 6 days a week for a month and lose a few pounds and then the second I go down to 3 or 4 days a week the weight comes back on. I am trying to break out of this funk but it has been hard to say the least.

Sorry...correction. I was banded October of 2007.

This is SO what I am dealing with right now. I was banded in 2008 and have only lost 60 lbs. I am still stuck at 220 lbs and feel complete guilt and shame and failure. It has an added pressure for me because my mom paid for the surgery. I know she would NEVER say anything or make me feel bad but I still struggle internally. I also have the added pressure of working with someone whose wife was hugely successful with the lap band and she was banded only about 4 months before me. Also a lot of the clients that come through our office also know I had the surgery and I despise when the topic ever turns to that because I am still struggling. I don't know how to be okay with myself when at the age of 32 and 3 years post-op I am STILL dealing with the same problems I struggled with when I was 13. It's such an emotional roller coaster. I want to feel happy and okay with myself but I can't seem to get there.

YAY.... I have been a member on this site since '07 when I had my lapband. It's been forever since I posted anything because I found out I was pregnant and I just came across this post about pregnancies YAY I didn't even realize that there was one until today. So.... I am 28 weeks pregnant and I actually still have my full fill in. It has just recently become more of a chore to eat normally so I am going this week to have my band loosened. I was so nervous when I found out I was pregnant and just not knowing what that meant in terms of my band but it has been okay. I did have serious issues with violent morning sickness which was actually ALL DAY EVERY DAY sickness that actually lasted 4 months for me. I think it was really worsened by the band but who knows for sure really. Other than that I have had all sorts of pregnancy related issues but nothing because of the band and that has been a great feeling. It also helps that my OB/GYN had her surgery by the same doctor and she just went through her first pregnancy with the band!!

Hey, I was banded almost a year ago in October. I purchased the Body Bugg to help me with my weight loss but quickly found that it just isn't for me. I would have done better spending the $400 on an elliptical machine which is what I really want now so I am selling my Body Bugg. I have only worn it maybe 4 days... I know don't fuss at me LOL.... but I just want to sell it. I have the Armband and the digital display. I am thinking about putting it on Ebay for $300 and shipping but may let it go for less. If anyone is interested just let me know and I will see what I can work out. I have my heart set on an elliptical and just don't have the money to just shell out for one so I'll start by selling my Body Bugg. Just let me know if interested !!!

So.. I am not normally a blogger but I figure why not. I can look at it as a little bit of cheap "therapy" lol. I am not happy with the band right now. I'm not going to sugar coat it....I'm just not happy. Now don't get me wrong I am very glad that I had the band. AND I still feel it was THE BEST thing I have ever done for myself BUT right now I am less than thrilled. I was banded October of 2007 so I am almost a year out. I haven't lost a pound in like 4 months although I just had my 5th fill about 2 weeks ago. I'm up to 5cc's in a 10cc band and each time I go to my surgeon he acts surprised like I shouldn't need a fill. I mean really... would I just choose to shell out 150 bucks if I didn't need to. The answer to that is no by the way. So I already feel like I need another fill. I almost feel like I can eat more now than after say my 2nd or 3rd fill. Sometimes I think I try and overeat just to see how far I can push it with my fill. Unfortunately the answer is I can push it too far b/c I don't end up feeling like I even have a band sometimes. I cannot tell you how many times I have looked on the internet for possible signs and symptoms of prolapse b/c sometimes I think something must have gone awry with this whole band thing. I don't know....guess I just need to know if I'm in this boat alone because sometimes it feels like I am. I read all of these stories and articles where everyone talks about being able to eat only 1/2 cup at a time. Seriously... I could eat a 1/2 a cow lol I am keeping my head up though and trying to just stay on track. We'll see how that goes..........

So.. I am not normally a blogger but I figure why not. I can look at it as a little bit of cheap "therapy" lol. I am not happy with the band right now. I'm not going to sugar coat it....I'm just not happy. Now don't get me wrong I am very glad that I had the band. AND I still feel it was THE BEST thing I have ever done for myself BUT right now I am less than thrilled. I was banded October of 2007 so I am almost a year out. I haven't lost a pound in like 4 months although I just had my 5th fill about 2 weeks ago. I'm up to 5cc's in a 10cc band and each time I go to my surgeon he acts surprised like I shouldn't need a fill. I mean really... would I just choose to shell out 150 bucks if I didn't need to. The answer to that is no by the way. So I already feel like I need another fill. I almost feel like I can eat more now than after say my 2nd or 3rd fill. Sometimes I think I try and overeat just to see how far I can push it with my fill. Unfortunately the answer is I can push it too far b/c I don't end up feeling like I even have a band sometimes. I cannot tell you how many times I have looked on the internet for possible signs and symptoms of prolapse b/c sometimes I think something must have gone awry with this whole band thing. I don't know....guess I just need to know if I'm in this boat alone because sometimes it feels like I am. I read all of these stories and articles where everyone talks about being able to eat only 1/2 cup at a time. Seriously... I could eat a 1/2 a cow lol I am keeping my head up though and trying to just stay on track. We'll see how that goes..........

1st pic is me at 282....EEK... and the other 2 are me today at 224.... I still have soooo far to go but feel great !!!!