HaddocksEyes

I can totally understand why you would be hesitant. Here's my take on all of this, including the responses you have been given so far. My background is in the area of law - I have not passed the bar but I have a J.D. and experience working with many lawyers as a result. Doctors are usually sued under the theory of negligence. This means that they had a duty to do something or not do something and they breached that duty which, in turn, caused harm to the patient. Often, it is easy to prove that there was a duty and that harm was caused. What is problematic is proving that what was done (or not done) caused the harm. In this day and age, it is easier (and cheaper) for the doctor to simply settle out of court rather than fight. Many of my brethren are anxious to take advantage of a situation like this because it means a fast paycheck. I hate to say that because there are many, many good and honest lawyers out there, but this is the reality. Because of this, a low percentage of cases actually make it to the court setting. Also, because there are risks to this surgery, the doctor can do everything right and complications can still arise. The key (for medical professionals) to avoiding most lawsuits is informed consent. However, some people feel adamant that the doctor was in the wrong (and in some cases the doctor WAS negligent) and insist on retaining a lawyer and suing. As such, even the best doctors are subject to lawsuits simply because they practice medicine, regardless of whether they were negligent or not. I am glad to see that you intend to speak to him about this. Tell him that in your research, you came across the information about him and it has you worried. He may or may not want to talk about it. My hope is that he is straight-forward with you. He won't talk about the details of the settlement (assuming there is one) but if there is one, he can mention that fact. I am hoping he will be willing to talk about his side of things, at the very least. I think you will be able to tell a lot from this conversation. It will either make you feel better or convince you to go to someone else.

Hi everyone! So yeah, I am freaking out a bit about having surgery next Monday but trying to keep busy at work for the time being. I go in for my pre-op tomorrow so i can ask more detailed questions of my doctor (will I have a drain? uggg!) I've decided that after surgery I will not weigh myself - lol, well, at least that's the plan. I am going to take measurements ONLY. As soon as I am given clearance, I am going to go to the gym and start weight training. I plan to do little to no cardio (Boooooring! I HATE cardio in the gym - riding a bike outside, playing sports and walking - LOVE those things). I will be doing supersets so I will get a cardio benefit from that. So we'll see how it goes - I hope for little to no complications. I think my worst enemy will be nausea. The doctor said that it is common after surgery and I have seen quite a few of you suffer from it. My hope is that if I have to have it, it only lasts a day or two. But he has been very upfront that it could last for weeks. I will have limited access to internet after my surgery (live in the boondocks), but I will try and come back to update everyone on how I am doing. To everyone that is about to go into surgery, good luck! To all of you that have had your surgery, I hope you are feeling well and healthy!

Hey Misty! Glad to see you are feeling good and improving each day. Keep up the good work!

kathy, i just love your positive posts. Yes, you ARE as cute as a button!!!

Good luck! Mine is next Monday and I am quietly freaking out. I know you will do fine!

YES! I've started drinking decaf sun tea and found I really like it. Very refreshing and I don't have to wait for the carbonation to go away.

LOVE diet soda! The one thing I find hard to give up. Thank goodness we can have it flat. I am with you on the beer thing - I can't stand beer. If it tastes like that to me, there won't be any soda drinking, even if it is flat.

Good Lord! You look fabulous! Congratulations!

I've been wondering how you were doing. I read about your complications - wow, stiff stuff but you've powered through it! How are you doing now? And I love your pictures! One of these days I will post some of mine.

Your co-workers sound like a great bunch of folks. What they did was so thoughtful! Glad to see you are doing well and thank you for coming back to update everyone on your progress. I am very impressed you are back at work two weeks after surgery. I have a desk job and was planning on being out for 4 weeks, but maybe I will not need to be out quite that long after all. Keep up the good work. I have a feeling you will be highly successful.

Thank you for the prayers! Yes, smoking is a selfish habit as is overeating. The funny thing is I would never say anything about him being overweight. That does not even bother me. He has never smoked in the house or the car or anywhere around our children. We both agreed on this. He can inflict it on himself if he chooses but I will be damned if he inflicts it on my babies (lol - one of them is now 18 but you know how mothers are about their kids) or me. I so appreciate your response.

I think that is a common response among women - we think its because we're not skinny and pretty. You're super cute now!!

So I have been thinking about this for a while now. Prior to accepting the fact that I need bariatric surgery, I was of the mindset that surgery was the "easy way out". Yes, a 140 pounds overweight person thought this - a traitor in your midst!! JK. As I started this process, during orientation I had thoughts like "I can lose weight, I've done it before and I can do it again, so why am I here" and "I don't have any serious co-morbities so why am I here?" Then, after more thought I came to the conclusion that I have been overweight for most of my life, so if I could have/would have done it, I wouldn't be even contemplating such things. If I stay the way I am I WILL develop serious co-morbidities - it's not a question of "IF" it's a question of "WHEN". Now that I have accepted this to be fact, I am starting to look around at other people who have lost weight, whether they are a celebrity or just someone I know or someone who has put themselves out there on the internet. I came to the revelation that no one I know that had significant weight to lose has (1) lost all of their weight or (2) kept it off. The results of those people on the web are mixed, but I admit, I have not done a thorough search for really obese people that have chronicled their weight lose through a blog. Back in 2007-2008 I became familiar with David Smith (through his BodySpace blog) on Bodybuildingdotcom before he was famous for losing like 400 pounds with the help of Chris Powell (from Extreme Weight Loss fame). In fact, that is how Chris became famous, because of David. A few years after his tremendous success, David eventually gained about 300-350 pounds back and is now trying to get back to his lowest weight. I sincerely wish him the best of luck - I had a chance to PM him a few times through his BodySpace blog and he seems like a really nice guy. Check out his facebook page if you are curious - it's David Ellmore Smith. My former gynecologist is overweight and has been for the entire time I have known her, which is about 14 years. A few years ago, she went on a liquid diet and lost like 100 or so pounds. I gave her a nickname "skinny" and we'd joke about it whenever I came in for an appointment. Unfortunately, she has gained back almost all she has lost and is morbidly obese again. She was always down on bariatric surgery - she felt it was too invasive. When I saw that she had gained back the weight, I felt sad for her and then thought, "if my own doctor can't keep it off with her advanced knowledge of the body and how it works, what hope is there for me?" Yesterday, I got wind of the whole Star Jones/Mo'nique controversy where supposedly Star said that there was no way that Mo'nique lost weight without surgery..bla..bla...bla. Turns out Star never said that but you know how the media loves controversy. What surprised me was Mo'nique's response that she had lost it through hard work and sweat and sent a message to other big women that they didn't have to resort to surgery. She said during an interview: "I tweet every morning about my workouts because I want women to see – especially us big women – that you don’t have to let them cut you and suck it out, you don’t have to let them staple you up, you don’t have to let them give you a pill, you don’t have to let them put a band around your organs,” Mo’Nique said in an interview." I thought it was interesting that she framed the issue in terms of women being "made" to have surgery, or take pills, as if they don't have a choice whether or not to have a bariatric procedure. Her comment appear to propogate a victim mentality to make it seem like what she is doing is so much more fabulous than merely losing weight - she is this extraordinary woman fighting against some invisible villian by losing the weight through traditional methods. In approaching the issue this way she demonizes bariatric surgery at the same time. So that got me thinking - why do we see bariatric surgery as the "unnatural" or the "bad" way to lose weight? It's really not true at all. Losing weight can be done by anyone - everyone on this site and other sites like it have lost weight. The issue is KEEPING IT OFF and changing to behaviors that support healthy habits and a healthy body weight. Why does it matter HOW someone loses weight? I would argue that it DOESN'T. 1. The person that loses weight through diet and exercises uses the diet and exercise as a TOOL to be healthy and achieve their goal 2. The person that uses the surgery and diet uses these as a TOOL to be healthy and achieve their goal 3. BOTH types of people have to STRUGGLE each and every day to keep the weight off and maintain healthy habits The difference between the two (at least from what I understand since I have not yet had the surgery) is that having surgery makes it EASIER to be successful. Two of my relatives have had bariatric surgery have both said that the surgery "levels the playing field", meaning that it is so much easier for them to be successful, post surgery, at maintaining healthy habits and keeping the weight off. Maybe that is where this comes from, the idea that it is easier for people than before their surgery is a huge cop-out. Maybe it's jealousy on many different levels. I however, don't think that way. However someone can lose weight is great - surgery or not. It's never a cake-walk.

Aw, thanks.

I can't tell you how awesome I think that is. From overweight to what I consider a superstar!

LOL - if only we were as smart as those who give us critical advice. I have so much respect for all of you that have already undergone surgery and those of you that will be moving forward to have surgery in the months to come.

TRUE! My bariatric doctor said to me "You know, diet really is a four letter word". He's great.

M-O-O-N, that spells "success". (Couldn't resist throwing a little Stephen King reference out there) GOOD LUCK!

I love your site! That picture of your husband wearing a "I love hot moms" shirt is hilarious!!! Congrats! And let the haters hate - regardless of how you lost weight, you LOST it and are maintaining a kick-ass lifestyle! That's what counts.

Oh, I almost forgot - how are YOU doing?

Yes, that is good news that they are keeping him! Thanks for coming back with an update on how he is doing. I hope he feels better soon. I am currently anemic myself, and am working hard to raise my levels before I have surgery in two weeks. They said I will need to continue supplementation after surgery because there will be blood loss from it. Thank goodness he's a man and doesn't have to deal with a period, which would drain him even more.

I had the same reaction - I feel for you!! I agree with MsMac on what she said. The older we get, sex can become more painful because of changes in our hormones. I'm not there yet since I am 41 but I have plenty of friends and relatives that are. It can also change sex drive too. It also sounds like you guys don't talk because you mentioned that you don't know what she thinks. I know you posted the mistress comment out of sheer frustration, but it is a good indication that you may be at the end of your rope. A year is a long time to go without sex. Communication is so key to relationships. I am sure there is far more going on behind the scenes. I hope you and her can get together and have a honest discussion about all the things that are bothering you both. As I said in the thread, my husband and I weren't talking either so we couldn't solve anything. He was brutally honest with me and I was honest back. It's certainly a struggle, no doubt, to be able to coexist in harmony with another person who is different from you.

Wow, sounds like you are going through a lot right now, the both of you. Please come back and let us know how you are doing, both you and him. I can see the frustration in your posts - I am sending positive thoughts your way. I know it will get better! Heck, you might see me coming on here in about four weeks with the same problem!

This is what my doctor told me, so I think it is safe to share. he said there are three groups of people that have varying lengths of nausea. The first group has nausea for days, and then they feel better. The next group has it for weeks at a time, and then they feel better. Then there is the last group of people that have nausea for months. He said the longest time a patient of his suffered with this was four months. I agree with the others that he should be monitored closely (which you already know, of course). I think this too shall pass and as long as he is medically monitored for complications, he should be okay.

NICE! You and Kindle look great together - and that is a beautiful saddle.