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Oh, Renee - I'm so sorry I totally empathise and understand - just before Christmas, doing my shopping, I was feeling not too bad, and I caught sight of myself in a shop window - and I as so brought down. I felt the world could tell I had lost over 20 pounds, but that shop window told the truth - still a fat middle aged woman. We need to try and be more positive I guess, and patient, we'll get there

The decision realy has to be our own. I went through hell just prior to wondering if I should, would I fail, what would happen if people found out etc. I know my decision in all of this was right for me - but I only know that now. I've been having a tough time of the holidays, but I still know it would be worse without my band. I am a vegetarian, so it may not be that helfpul to you to tel you about my food. I eat no flesh of any kind, so no "stuck" or "PB'ing there You can defeat the band by eating cr@p - Cookies, fast food, high calorie drinks & shakes - easy easy to do. So IMHO the first thing to pledge yourself, is to stop with the fries, burgers and fast food and sodas. That's a truck load of calories. I am eating virtually my pre-op diet, but soooo much healthier

I haven't vomited, or PB'd - but I've come to the discomfort/pain several times - over Christmas Its like you are all saying, I KNOW its enough, so just damn well shut the mouth. It was so much easier two weeks ago, but now, I'm in that panic mode of , "I have to stop eating tomorrow", starting tomorrow I'll start the exercise, and get my act together. I got a holiday for Christmas and seriously need to lose 30 lbs - and I should be going before March........doesn't give me a lot of time, and yet, the pre-op and post op did 20 lbs for me in 6 weeks, so it shouldn't be out of the question. The thing is, I just feel weak and hopeless - again :help: I am, tomorrow, beginning my proper regime again

Me too I think its the season - I feel like I've not lost anything at all - I know that that just isn't the case, but it feels like that. Many of us are hurting right now I think. I'm feeling totally despondent and thinking, man when I next go for my fill (2nd) my Doc will be so disappointed in me. We'll all need to hang in there - thank goodnes for this board

Hang in there - it will get better post banding. I agree with Jack and the others - I was a total anxious panicked wreck - particularly as soon as the date was announced. I ate like I've never binged before - I'm horrified at what I ate and did. :omg: Then I started Optiyuk, and salads and it calmed down - but the anguish was there up to the anaesthesetic. I came out the other side a saner person - and I miss my best friend - food. So, with Christmas I have been meeting it again, and I'm a sucker, but I know this time when the house empties of the goodies it will get better. I have my second fill due in January, and I hope it will be easier then Good luck, and don't let the mind games get to you :mad:

Thanks for the post HoustonHoney Reading the posts it seems like a lot of us a hurting, what with the time of year, the pressure and of course the food. I'll just try and ride out the season and begin again :mad:

Big HUGS I have stalled, but don't have some of your other issues to deal with. I can only imagine what you are going through with your weight back to square one. Ihave been feeling very badly in the last couple of weeks as I'm eating, and my second fill doesn't seem as good as I thought. It was good initially but now seems ineffective? Just try and hang in there until after Christmas and maybe you can start to empty the house of all the crap we poison our bodies and minds with. My goal is to hang on till New Year :mad:

Hi, Goodluck with your journey. I cannot feel the band at all - ever. I can't feel the port line either, I sometimes think the body is a remarkable thing :eek:

I think for me it was dawning, slowly but surely, I was starting to hide out at home. I was embarrassed to be seen in pubic, and I couldn't wear anything that even felt like I might be attactive. The double chin starting to look like a triple and I just couldn't bear to look in a mirror anymore. I coudln't let anyone see any of me uncovered and I coudn't think of how I would even begin to think another diet might work. Desperation and "last chance".

Good luck tomorrow! I now think it might be normal to totally lose it and binge pre-op -most of mine was good, but between Dr giving me the date and Optifast - it doesn't bear talking about - so depressing:mad: You'll be home by Christmas - good luck

Hi Tracey! Way to go - I'm in Perth too I hated the Optifast - I did two weeks of it. I liked the strawberry and Cappucino, but only managed the vanilla when blended with berries in it. I was lucky, I could have a salad some nights. Good luck

Hi! I'm in Perth too! Its a weird time - you'll find the time will fly with Christmas and New Year in the middle!

Huge hugs - I am so sorry for your loss. I have cats and dogs, and don't know how I would get on without them. You are having such a tough time - 2008 will soon be here, hang on, and try and have faith in your future - it is waiting for us.

I too would like to set goals, but I'm not - not until after the 25th December. I feel like I would just be setting myself up for a fall. My only goal is to slowly lose but staying in control - not being too hard on myself because food is being *thrown* at me from all directions - and I'm also trying to eat quality calories - not rubbish just because its sitting there on a plate for hours during social functions. I can't seem to find time for exercise, as well as many other things, so until my next fill, I just would like to lose a little...... I am sooooooooooo appreciating this feeling of me controlling my food intake, and not food controlling my every thought

You are sounding freaked out like I was - I wanted knowledge but I was getting so anxious I nearly thought I should cancel. I had huge concerns, would this just be another failure, what if... what if... what if... I'd never be able to eat out again then there was the surgery, and worst of all........ WHAT would I do without food??? Some of these are still to be determined, BUT, I don't regret my banding at all, nope nope nope! :clap2: Particularly coming into Christmas madness, I've had two events so far, and I have been unbelievably relieved at the control and satiety my band has given me. I could have a little, but there was no Pigging Out for me, and it was sooooooo good afterwards knowing I had had the bad stuff, but just a touch. I feel in control, and I pray I will still be this way in 6 months and more. A lot of my worry to was guilt - no one but my husband knows what my surgery was for, and I KNOW this was the correct decision for me. It isn't for everyone, but now I am so glad I decided on keeping it private. Good luck, its more mental than physical turmoil - and you will fine its so much better post op

Hi Arkie, I had my band on October 22 and had my first fill 3 days ago. So that's about 6 weeks and I was told I was still a bit swollen. I know if I bed over and "squish" that area its still really tender, so I wouldn't worry unduly. HTH

I know, this is how I felt, the date makes it so real. For me, I prefer to get things over with, so I'm sure it is better this way. So many things will happen so fast, but on the other side, you'll be so glad it was sooner Good luck!

Hi Carrot, and Tenancious Tens! Yep, today was it! I was a little anxious, but thanks to others posts I wasn't panicking!! It was good - he was pleased with my progress. I had (apparently) 2mls in a 10ml band, and so he took out the 2mls, and then filled it with 4, so I had 2 and now have four I didn't need to drink, fluroscopy or anything. I can definitely feel a slight difference, and I feel a bit more confident about this working for me future. I have some Thyroid issues that need addressing, just borderline but he did mention it. I can tell you, if I need thryoxine after all this, and all these years, I'll be spewing LOL! Anyway, I am soooooooo grateful I am feeling more in control of my food with Christmas approaching.

Congrats on the loss - no stall ing there then!! My first fill is tomorrow, and I too am feeling a little anxious - nothing though compared to pre-surgery. My loss is not great, but I am "in control" pretty much - but I don't know if this is mind over matter. Lots of resolution being used:rolleyes My doc is really cautious and slow so I am not sure whether he will consider this good or not. Exercise is my biggie - can't seem to get started - like always :help:

Thanks Carrot I read that in the early days pre-op, and I still go and have a read now and then. Still wondering when it will "click" in - hopefully soon. My first fill is Friday! Its about exercise.........grrrr -

I take Berocca, when I take one. I don't always, I sometimes feel my tail draggin... and I take a Berocca.

I was reading way toooo much before my Banding - I was terrified of how I would cope and so many what "if"s. So far, none of this has occurred, and I think you need to flip over to the success stories, the food posts that tell you what people can eat and a bit more of the positive stuff - this will give you some balance.

Oh, poor you This happened to me - but not my Band. It was with Oral Surgery, and when I tried to tell the surgeon, he was sooo rude and agressive. It was Easter Thursday and I could even describe to him where he and the anaesthetist were going for their break. I've had lots of other surgery and never experienced this before. It was 2 surgeries ago, and I never had even a second thought having my my Band because of that time.

Approximately AU$100.00

Thanks Matilda - I'll keep that in mind. I still have 10 days before my fill, so I'll keep everything crossed!