Whathereagain

I was thin and athletic up until I was about 30 years old. Husband left me with our 3 month old baby and my weight sky rocked! So.......I took back my power and my life and sought WLS. Lapband in 2002. Weighed 200lbs, lost 90 lbs and kept it off until 2011 when the band slipped. Surgeons removed it and I quickly gained weight to 172 lbs. fearing the weight gain wouldn't end, I chose to get a gastric sleeve on June 27, 2014. Now, desperately trying to lose weight to get to 120 lbs. miss my band, loved my band, praying I fall in love with the gastric sleeve. I went to TJ both times as my BMI was too low to get the surgeries at home. Both times, I had great surgeons and their work was flawless. My band slipped because that's what they do sometimes. I was in a very stressful period of my life and as most banders can attest, the band constricts like crazy when the body is crazy. I don't know why...it just does. So since my band was literally choking me to death ( my potassium levels were so low, I was in the ICU step down unit for 7 days before they could get me healthy enough to withstand surgery. Had two brushes with death.....scary times), my surgical team decided to take it out. I cried as they rolled me into the OR because I knew I'd be fat once again.I was right. I was the Fat Girl again; buying all the diets, taking the shots, drinking the shakes and dying just a little more on the inside every day. Fat Girl and I are not friends. Fat Girl sucks all the joy out of me and I slowly but surely quit living life.I decided to again take my power back from the despised Fat Girl and researched WLS once again. I decided against the Lapband given the latest research but it was with much reluctance. I loved my Band, my little buddy. Instead I opted for the gastric sleeve. My surgeon, Dr. Ponce de Leon was able to give me a great banana pouch which was unaffected by my prior Lapband. I was lucky there wasn't much scar tissue or stricture to get in the way.Now, I begin another WLS. I find this journey much harder. The surgery and recovery period was easy, without any complications. However, the weight loss is slow and I find myself depressed, frustrated and angry. Very angry. I pray I made the right decision and that I find the patience I need to accept the slow weight loss. I pray that when I update this diatribe when I'm 6 moths post op, I am a much happier, skinnier me.UPDATE: It is October 14 and I currently weigh 138 lbs. not too shabby for 15 weeks after my surgery. Yes, weight loss is slow with my sleeve compared to my lapband but other factors contribute to the difference. First, even though I had 3 years between the band removal and the gastric sleeve, my body was already accustomed to a lower caloric intake and therefore, already somewhat resistant to weight loss. I also had a lower BMI going into surgery, it was 27.9. I am now considered a normal weight - 138 with a BMI of 22.3. My goal is still 120 lbs, BMI of 19.4.I hope to reach my goal by Christmas, but I will have to make some changes in both my diet and activity level to do so. I struggle most days to get in all of my protein and water. My activity level is also very low! Lol. I spent the last months finishing my RN program so most of the hours of my day were spent sitting behind a desk studying. My plan is to start a detailed food and activity diary such that I can closely tract the last leg of my weight loss journey. I have accepted my weight stalls although they are excruciating, as I always see a 3lbs weight loss at the end. That seems to be my magic number.....it's coming off 3 lbs at a time. LolI would do this all over again in a heart beat!! I'll update again at goal or at Christmas, which ever comes first. :0)