Menelly

And I kind of want to cry. Anyone care to proofread and critique before i send it in tomorrow? Would really appreciate it. Describe the limitations morbid obesity imposes on you in your daily activity: So, today I was dancing with my daughter. Turned on the music, singing, dancing, laughing. I lasted about 4 min before my hip and knee gave out, and I was horribly out of breath. My adorable two year old is going "mama, dance!" and I can't anymore. I'm in too much pain. I go to get dressed and none of my clothes fit anymore. I'm stuffing myself into things two sizes too small because I don't want to admit my real size. My sister completed suicide last December. I promised her I'd take up running, like she'd always done. I told her I'd run the NAMI Walks 5k in her honor. But how can I? I can't even dance for 4 min. I can't run for 30! Even trying Couch to 5k hurts too badly. I have a flap of skin where I've had two c-sections, and I have a nasty rash there regularly from sweat and skin and yuck. It itches and burns and frankly smells horrible. I hate looking at myself in the mirror now. I know, buried deep in there, is the girl I once was. The one that loved to dance. The cheerleader. The former military girl who was in excellent shape. She's in there, I know she is. She's buried under a fat girl that can't seem to lose the weight. She's tried every diet she could. She's counted calories, she's counted carbs. She's exercised, she's paid for HCG shots. And still the fat girl looks back at me in the mirror instead of the girl I want to be. So far, I'm pretty lucky. For a fat person, I'm fairly healthy. But I know it's a matter of time. I know I'm a time bomb, waiting to go off, where I'll get worse as time goes on. And I tell myself I'm relatively health as my knees give out. As my hip gives out. As I struggle to sleep at night and struggle to wake up in the morning. As I deal with severe depression. As I spend every day so tired I don't want to move. As I deal with fibromyalgia. But I know others have it worse, so I deem myself "better" and "more healthy" so I can ignore what my weight is doing to me and how unhealthy it truly makes me. I hate that I'm discriminated against in life for being fat. I hate that I'm discriminated in healthcare. This essay requirement alone is proof of that... would you make someone write an essay on why they need a knee replacement or a pacemaker? Or is it just fat people that need to convince an insurance agency to pay for what's covered under the policy they pay for? The discrimination we face as fat people is so pervasive and endless that we just put up with it. We do what we're told. We deserve it, we're fat. I want to be in charge of my life. I want control over food back. I want to run that 5k in honor of my sister. I want to dance with my baby. I don't want to hurt. I want my life back. This surgery can help me in that goal. Thank you.

I was told that gum can get stuck in the sleeve and they've had to go after it surgically in some people. Don't know how true it is, but it's enough to make me skip it! But I cheat and use straws all the time.

I'm in Utah too. You can drive as soon as you're off narcotics, for me that was 4 days. That said, the seat belt wasn't exactly comfy on my incisions...

Same. I'm 3.5 weeks out and it's shark week. My scale has been laughing at my attempt to will it to move. Heh.

Weight does tend to fluctuate during the week, but it's more likely mental. After years of being fat, it's often hard to see yourself as anything but the fat girl. :/

Someone else on here says this better than me, but: You need to get "cheat" and "failure" out of your vocabulary. You have a choice, you make a choice, and next time you have a choice again. Choices are empowering. Cheating and failure lead to the same shame and guilt cycle that got us here in the first place. I spent some time with my therapist coming up with alternatives I could do when I think I'm hungry and I know I'm not. Could you spend time thinking of alternatives? My favorite currently is coloring. It's really hard to shovel hand to mouth when you're using a crayon. Think of 5-10 things that you can do for you, that would make you feel good, that aren't food related. That take only a few min. And use that list when head hunger hits. Mine includes things like coloring, turning on an old 80's Madonna song and dancing to it in my living room, throwing pebbles in the backyard, lotioning my body, singing, etc. Just something small, cheap, that'll bring a smile to your face and distract you. You need to learn how to find pleasure in life, not in food. It may be time to employ your own therapist. Good luck!

I like the P3 Protein Packs that are near the lunchables in the store. They're usually $1.25 or so, and they have cheese, deli meats, and nuts. They're just about the right size to be filling. Sargento has one that's cheese, nuts, and cranberries too. Otherwise, can you do Protein Bars yet? Grab some protein bars and stick them in your purse?

Personally, mine is where my BMI hits normal.

I think it's all individual and how you carry your weight. I'm only 2.5 weeks out and already down 2" on my thighs (where I carry a lot of weight.) If you're more an apple shape, you may lose it off your abdomen first.

I'm 2.5 weeks out and just barely switching from diarrhea to the opposite problem, since I started soft foods on Tues. I hear this is pretty normal.

I tried some sugar free sweet tea the other day. I spent the night feeling as though I was a fire breathing dragon, it caused such bad heartburn. I'm starting to think severe heartburn due to the acidity might be a valid reason.

My surgeon said no corn for the first year. He claims it's digestable reasons, but my guess is it's easier to forbid it than to get people to understand it's a starch and a carb, not a veggie. So it doesn't fit into our diet till maintenance anyways.

I just started puree stage, tried a scrambled egg this morning. Oh the pain. No good for me. (2 weeks out.)

My surgeon's nutrition guide says one strawberry (or strawberry sized fruit) twice a week MAX if you need it to get... ahem... regular.

That's a LOT of carbs when you're still in active weight loss phase. Can you make yourself some with spaghetti squash instead? Or zucchini noodles?

I chose the sleeve because I have an autoimmune disease that requires me to use NSAIDS at times. With RNY, NSAID's are a never again. My doctor told me so long as I'm on a PPI, I can use NSAIDs with a sleeve. I'm also on other maintenance medications for bipolar, and I didn't want to risk my meds being malabsorbed. So sleeve it was for me!

I'm at 9 days out and my stomach is still tender and it's hard to bend over. I had an easier time with csections than I have with this surgery.

I've noticed an odd correlation. Every healthy weight person I've confided in has been super supportive. About 50% of the overweight people I tell make nasty comments. It's almost like they are scared to see someone succeed.

I found a great instagram account where a lady (I think?) is posting what she eats every day along with nutrition labels. Maybe that'll give you some ideas? https://instagram.com/sleevedin2015/

I only had to do 3 days. I would have gone insane. I'm on full liquids now and am already bored. LOL

I sure hope so cause I'm having the same problem. 5 days out, full liquids.

My surgeons office said it was for a "few months" but didn't give more detail than that. I'm more irrationally upset at the no straws than I am at the no sodas. Heh.

Anyone else starting to get REALLY nervous? I'm suddenly all "what am I going to do when I don't have food to turn to?" It's being a hard day today.

Interesting. I have a history of blood clots and was told I'd go on lovenox afterwards, but no IVC thingy. I might call the surgeon and ask...

The hospital I'm having surgery at is 70 miles from my house, so I intend to use Skype on my phone to chat with my 3 year old