ladywolfsong

Hello, I'm Heather (ladywolfsong). In January 2011, I had my gallbladder removed. At that time, a liver biopsy was performed due to me having elevated liver enzymes. I was told that I had stage 1 NASH. I wasn't told much about it, but my gastroenterologist at DHMC, Dr. Scott Gabbard, advised me that if I continued to be unable to lose weight on my own, I should consider Gastric Bypass Surgery. I had gained about 100 pounds in 2003, due to a combination of depression and the meds I took for it, putting me around 250 lbs. A few months later, I decided to seriously look into WLS, and I attended a 2 hour informational session at Dartmouth-Hitchcock Medical Center in Lebanon, NH. I liked what was presented to me, and joined DHMC's Weight Loss Surgery program, going through all the required steps including 6 months with a dietician as required by my insurance, VT Medicaid. I got as far as meeting with the nurse in the program, Step 7, which is required twice before meeting with a surgeon and getting a surgery date. At that point (about September 2011), I was told due to my history of psychiatric hospitalizations for suicidal thoughts (while there have been many, I have only ever made 1 attempt, in 2008...I always seek help when I am feeling that way), they had decided they were asking me to leave the program. They told me they would reconsider me if I could stay out of the hospital for at least 2 years. I gave up at that point. Due to the nature of my illnesses, I have been hospitalized at least once a year since my first hospitalization in 1997.
In 2012, based on recommendations, I contacted Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center in Boston, MA, as well as Fletcher Allen hospital in Burlington, VT. I was told the same thing at that time by both programs, that I must be hospital free for a minimum of 2 years for consideration. They said any program would tell me the same thing. I have not remained hospital free, in fact I was hospitalized for 3 days in January 2014. However...
I have tried losing weight on my own, as well as with Weight Watchers and with a different dietician. I have only lost at most 10 pounds, gaining it all back plus some each time, putting me at my all time high of 300.6 pounds on my 40th birthday, March 27th. I am currently at 298.2, and 5'7" tall. On Friday, May 16th, 2014, I got some news that was devastating and frightening. I saw the nurse practitioner in Gastroenterology at DHMC, Kimberly Pollis. She took over when Dr. Gabbard got promoted a couple years ago. At any rate, she had been telling me for about the last year that I still had elevated liver enzymes, and had to lose 20-30 pounds to start with or else I was going to need another liver biposy to check my NASH, which could have progressed to Stage 2. I didn't want that, but was unable to lose the weight, so I expected at this appointment to be scheduled for another biopsy. Instead, she told me she was going to do a FibroScan, which she said wasn't as definite as a biopsy but was still pretty good. The results showed Stage 3 NASH. She told me I had progressed quite rapidly, and that if I couldn't lose my weight, I would progress to Cirrhosis within 5 years. She said I was literally killing myself with food. I don't really eat all that much more than I should, and others around me agree, but I have a serious sugar addiction, so what I eat isn't really very healthy a lot of times.
I am so scared. I called DHMC's program and asked them to please, please reconsider me. They told me on May 23rd (it took them a week to get back to me) that because I had just been hospitalized in January, it made no sense to even ask, that they require 2 years hospital free in all cases. Furthermore, they told me, because one of my diagnoses is Borderline Personality Disorder, they couldn't see any way that I would ever qualify for their program because "Borderlines have poor coping skills". My mental health diagnoses are Bipolar type 2, PTSD, Borderline Personality Disorder, and Panic Disorder. I really don't think it's fair though for people to write me off just because I have the "Borderline" diagnosis. It doesn't automatically mean I am a poor candidate. The hospitals haven't even talked to me, or to my regular treatment team. My therapist and psychiatrist support me having the surgery, and each has been working with me for more than 5 years.
Physically, I also have polycystic ovarian syndrome, bursitis in both hips, chronic yeast under my breasts and in my navel, fibromyalgia, mild sleep apnea, stress urinary incontinence, hypothyroidism...most of which can be helped by losing the weight. It all seems so minor though in light f the Stage 3 NASH. I need help. I need this surgery. I need to find a program willing to help me, to give me a chance.