keepingmysecrets

Yeah, I thought you would agree with me given your extensive time and experience on this board. I fully admit that my 19 (now 20 ) novice posts cannot possibly give me the knowledge to know everything about everything that there is to know about this subject in the same way someone with so many more can do. That is why all I do is visit occasionally, state my opinion if I have something to say about something I have read here or reply to someone else who cared to comment about something I have posted. Spending a lot of time posting on boards leaves so much less time to actually live life fully in the real world. I would hate to have a life so lacking in substance that I would need to spend my time on evangelistic preaching about WLS to others who were not part of an interaction between myself and another person posting. But I guess that is just me, to each his own as they say.

I think there are some people who are addicted to board posting who enjoy stirring up the pot and bringing in hostility when it is not necessary to do so. And that is a real shame. People should be free to post their various, and differing opinions on any subject or be able to give an honest response to a post that another member directed at them, without having such unnecessary and unproductive comments directed at them.

I don't see why you are so confused about this, there are many reasons to have the surgery besides a lack of control of eating habits that keep the weight on a person. My primary goal is to help with faster weight loss in order to hopefully resolve my diabetes (which is already responding to what I have lost), and mild sleep apnea. Secondarily to help me keep the weight off for the remainder of my life. Also, it is not only the loss of weight that affects the diabetes in a positive manner, there are many theories out there that other things factor into the resolution of this disease when the stomach is reduced by 80%. I am still losing weight, now down about 170 pounds from my start but still have a BMI of 42. My surgery is on the 29th and I will be going through with it. It is always a personal decision, no two people are the same. I entered this topic because I have posted before on BP several times about my concern that SOME, not all, people advocate this surgery as a cure all, and minimize the potential for negative consequences. I have considered all the pros and cons in my own situation and the pro surgery side tilts slightly over the anti side. So I am having it, but I do not and will not ever advocate that anyone go into it by reading only cheer leading posts on sites like this. One in 500 people having this surgery dies (Yes, I had to sign a form just yesterday that stated that statistic), and many more have complications. Educating yourself and both sides of this issue and then carefully considering your own health issues is the only way to make an informed decision. I understand that the original poster has returned to clarify her post advising people getting the surgery to avoid the complications thread - but I don't agree with that. It is never too late to change your mind, my surgeon's nurse told me yesterday that some have canceled their procedure at the hospital on the day of surgery. Reading EVERYTHING you can before making a life changing and permanent change to your body is always a good thing. Only then can you find information that may allow you last minute questions of your surgeon, and help you finalize a decision that many are ambivalent about right up to the moment their surgery day arrives.

I never suggested or implied that the information regarding both sides could not be found elsewhere. I am personally familiar with all those sites you quote. They are irrelevant to my post since they have nothing to do with what I was responding to. I was responding to a post who suggested that anyone about to have this surgery NOT read the complications thread. And I still say, WHY SHOULDN'T they? That is indicative of exactly the type or reasoning that promotes this surgery (by some, not all) as indicative of the way it is going to work for everyone based on their own personal experience. BP is a great source of information and community. But there are two sides to everything, and no one should be recommending that anyone else go into surgery based solely on the good experiences of themselves. Good luck to you as well.

I have a large band size, small cup. I was wearing a 58B, then went to a 56B, and I now am wearing a 54A. I think most of the 164 pounds I have lost has come from my breasts. I am looking for some 54, 52, and 50's A cups (almost impossible to find). Almost all the bra companies assume that if you are that wide around, you are at least a B cup. Glamorise has discontinued all of their bras over size 50 with small cups.

Your suggestion sounds like cheer leading to me. For any surgical procedure, especially one that alters your body permanently, it is very important to be educated on all the ways that having this surgery might impact you. While not everyone gets a complication, many people want to hear both sides of the story before they make a decision. How can anyone make a decision with only one side/angle to the story. The fact that a thread about complications exists and there are multiple posts to it is proof enough that this surgery has had a downside for many. I do not believe in blinders. My own surgery is still scheduled for this month, and I begin my liver reduction diet on the 8th. I still am ambivalent about it but know that if all goes well for me, this could change my life for the better. That is why I have not postponed it.

My weight loss of 164 pounds has left me with terrible looking upper arms and a lot of loose skin on my stomach. I still want to lose between 87 and 100 more pounds. My bariatric surgeon will take off the stomach skin eventually if I can pass the surgical exam at by then age 67 or so. My insurance requires documentation of the skin causing problems like rashes and/or interference in agility, and also a two year wait with 6 months of documentation of a stable weight. Once I get the sleeve surgery, I will likely have more accelerated weight lost with accelerated skin saggyness. The surgeon will not fix the upper arms and I cannot afford cosmetic surgery so I fear that I will have those forever. Still, I would rather have the loose skin over the filled in skin filled with fat.

Great, NOW i see the first post. Sorry for the repeated postings.

I thought I had posted but do not see my post. I have lost 164 pounds now in the last 11 months just using the diet given to me by my bariatric surgeon. I have not yet had any surgery - am scheduled for the sleeve on 9/29/14. It can be done - I am 64 years old!

I am 64, will be 65 on May 5th of next year. I have not even had the surgery yet (scheduled on 9/29/14) and I have lost 164 pounds since October 3rd, 2013 using just the bariatric diet. I began on that day at 424 pounds. I have not even had regular exercise during this time, since I have two bad knees and a bad back from two MVA's, years of abuse on those knees, and several recent "accidents" at home which hurt my back. Once of the reasons I want to get under 200 pounds is to have the two knee replacements that have been overdue for years now and keep me in constant pain. If you stick to the diet, there is no way you will not lose the weight. I am proof of that.

I am there with you, OP. The more I read, the scarier it gets. I keep asking myself why I cannot simply go on now to live on the 1200 calorie diabetic exchange diet, given that I have managed to live on the bariatric one of 700-900 calories for 11 months now. When I hear that I may never again have diet sodas or mineral waters, steak, or Pasta (which I have missed for the past 11 months), it worries me that the post surgical diet is boring, and basically unhealthy. I was told that I would need to take a multi-vitamin twice a day for life, NOW I read that after five years 1/4 to 1/2 of gastric sleeve patients are Vitamin or Iron deficient five years post surgery and the vitamin requirements/regimen for life is much more intense. I am not as concerned about the low post surgical risks, those can be managed. I am concerned about never being able to eat a fresh salad with all the vibrous veggies I like, or the possibility that steak will become problematic. Just as I was taught that eating limited foods from all four food groups is unhealthy, so, too, must it be to have a lifetime limit on what foods you can eat. Exercise is important, but try working up a sweat and then having to limit your Water intake to four ounces and wait to eat an additional half hour to 45 minutes. There are so many cheerleaders on this site, but I think a lot of the posters are probably not being honest about the downsides to these procedures or are on a post surgical high. I have noticed that most of the posts I read are from people 1 year or a couple of years or less out of surgery. Where are the long timers? Where are those who regret having done this procedure? Yes, I am being a downer here but the reason is that I believe strongly that there are TWO SIDES to every issue and I am naturally suspicious of anything that is covered solely from the happy, happy crowd. I have lost 164 pounds on the bariatric diet in just 11 months now. Why can't I just continue this diet and then stick to a 1200 or 1500 one (twice my current food level) for life rather than go through with the sleeve surgery that is currently set to go through on 9/29. Scared? You betcha I am.

Posts such as the OP's scare me to death. I just set the day to have my sleeve done, September 29th, and will also be having a repair of a hiatal hernia. I want to just forgetaboutitall. I have managed to lose 162 pounds without the surgery, but still have about 90-100 left to lose so wanted the extra help that a sleeve operation would give me - but I do not want to be posting regrets here or worse yet, be having regrets later on that I shouldn't have done it. Just what makes everyone think this will get better. Everybody is different, and I understand encouraging the poster who made this post but nobody but God knows what is going to happen to someone else who is recovering, everybody is different. I do believe in encouragement and posting hope to others, but worries me is the lack of replies from those whose issues were not resolved in a week or two. And not all who responded had a hernia repair done at the same time = that obviously does make recovery harder.

I am still waiting and waiting....... I go back and forth, one day will go for it, the other will not. I have lost over 155 pounds on my own without the surgery, so every friend I have and my significant other all keep telling me, "Don't do it". My SO will give me zero support especially if something does go wrong or if I am sick afterwards during the recovery. He will more likely say, "I told you not to do it so don't come crying to me if you feel bad". No one is on board for this except my bariatric surgeon and his staff. Initially I did not have the co-pay for the operation but now I have complete coverage. I have done all the tests and preliminary work ups except for one exercise class, an abominal sonogram, a chest x-ray and blood work. I fear that it won't stop me from gaining weight back because the only two people I have met who had the sleeve done are already getting fat again. And if I can lose 155 pounds (and still living the program to lose more), then why do it now? My reasons so far are that (1) I am a diabetic (insulin needs are WAAAAY down and soon to be gone), I have moderate sleep apnea, and I need abominal surgery anyway because I have both a hiatal hernia and an umbilical hernia. My reasons against it are that I fear that my life will change so much that I will never be able to enjoy a diet coke again, or eat a BIG salad (I enjoy the crunch) or that I will go out with friends and have head hunger over what they order while I eat nothing or little. I also fear (big time) the evidence I have seen that food will no longer taste good or I won't be able to enjoy the foods I like today. One person who loved shellfish could no longer eat any shellfisth after the sleeve, and I cannot imagine life without shellfish or beef (another food I have heard may no longer be tolerated). I don't care that I may be physically no longer hungry after a few bites, as we all know (and some here won't admit it) food is part of what makes life enjoyable and there is more to the eating of food other than to satisfy physical hunger. I do not mind eating SMALL amounts of food, I mind that I may not be able to enjoy SMALL portions of things that I love. I can be happy without a LOT of shrimp, or a LOT of beef, or a LOT of lobster, but I cannot imagine being happy not being able to eat any of those again or enjoy an occasional diet soda. These boards are filled with great stories and I have to ask where are the failures, the surgeries that went wrong, the people who wish that they never did it????? Is anyone here willing to claim that almost every story was a success story of all being OK? How to make a decision when only ONE side is presented. I want to go into this with my eyes wide open as to what I am agreeing to and so far I only hear one side of things. And finally, my neighbors only son, age 32, died on December 22, 2012 as a result of gastric bypass surgery, and last week I met a woman in my bariatric surgeon's office in terrible pain, recovering from his fixing her gastric band that ate into her stomach and caused a problem that almost killed her. She told me that he removed the band and told her that she cannot attempt any further bariatric surgery. So the bottom line, I am frightened of both the known and the unknown and still on a holding pattern.

I am preoperative but have been working with and through Dr. Barry Greene. His office is in Rockville, MD. However, you cannot go wrong with any of the surgeons at Washington Hospital Center. Had I not begun with Dr. Greene, I would be there with one of their doctors, myself.

I understand where you are right now, I have been there many times myself. But I can see from how you write that you are a strong person. No one is ever perfect, we all fall off the bandwagon now and then. If someone says that they NEVER cheat, I would say that either they are in denial or they are not being honest. It is human nature to fall back on what is familiar when we are struggling with something unresolved in life. The therapist will help you get back on track by identifying the issues that have stopped your momentum. Tell yourself, "I can do it" and then believe it. I do not even know you or your story, and I am new here, but I can tell when someone is going to succeed just by the way that they are able to identify the issue, admit that they are not perfect and seek the help and support they need. Doing all those things makes you a WINNER and winners do not give up or lose the fight.

I admire you for being able to post here about what you did, that takes courage. You have it in you to do this. Here is what I do as I struggle with foods I should not be eating. Every time I see something that is not healthy for me, or not on my pre-surgical diet and I am tempted, I visualize the skull and cross bones symbol for POISON right on top of it. After all, some of these foods are poison to those of us who struggle with obesity. Even thin people should not be eating that stuff, but some can eat away without it causing them to gain weight. That is not my luck to be able to. But then again, when I think about it, maybe WE are the lucky ones. We are learning to eat the right foods in the right portions. The people who live on fast food still pay a price, it may not be in weight gain but they will surely end up with unhealthy fat in their arteries. As the others have said, you have time to stick to the program now. And be prepared to say good-bye (at least for awhile) to those foods that are poisonous for you. Good luck. Nancy PS, I am pretty sure the day will come when I will be the one posting here about needing to stick to the liquid diet, LOL. We all have to do it after all.

I initially visited my surgeon to consult for a hernia repair. Because I weighed 424 pounds, and he specialized in bariactric patients, I preferred to go to him because I felt a doctor who was used to doing surgery on someone who was morbidly obese, would be a safer choice than a surgeon whose practice did not have so many opportunities to operated on large individuals. I had considered bariatric surgery in the past but because I only had Medicare and limited income, I did not believe that I could afford the hospital and physician copays. But based on what his office told me, I began the program with the bariatric diet of 700-900 calories, consisting of 70-80 grams of Protein, 40-50 of carbs, 20-30 of fat, and the elimination of fruits, breads, pastas, etc. That diet actually began October 3, 2013. Since that date, I have lost 135 pounds on my own, but I have remained indecisive about the surgery. I flip back and forth between the sleeve, and the lap band, favoring the sleeve. However, the truth is that I am terrified to change my body in that manner. Yet when I consider the lap band and read about all the issues that those patients deal with, I go back to the sleeve. The day is coming when I have to make a decision since my hernia must be fixed anyway. Most of my friends and my boyfriend are telling me DON'T DO IT. They say I have done so well without it. But I know my history of up and down yo-yo dieting. I am afraid that I have not finally learned the lessons to eat properly and that I will slip back into old habits. I know that these surgeries are merely tools and I have to have discipline with or without the surgery and that brings me right back to square one. I am 64 years old, tired of being fat, and worried. I am a diabetic, and just the weight I have already lost has changed my insulin needs down to almost nothing. No matter how much I research, I cannot decide. Everyone seems to have great stories of success with the WLS but I am sure that there are people who wish that they had not changed their bodies. Can anyone help me through my fears and onto the next move? I really fear losing my doctor, he is not into weight loss, he is a surgeon. The more I go over my options, the more I am frozen with indecision. The bottom line is that I am frightened of the sleeve's permanency, and of failing if I do not have the operation. Yet I know my boyfriend will NOT be supportive post surgically, and I have no family, just friends who are all against what they call, a drastic step. I am asking for all the pros, cons, and advice anyone can give to me. Thanks.

Well, I saw my surgeon today and talked over my fears. He helped me understand that things would likely get so much better for me if I have the surgery. We both agreed that the sleeve was my best option. So far I have no surgery date, right now I will be scheduling the sleep study. I had lost 14 more pounds since he saw me last month and for the first time ever, he told me how proud he was of my sticking to the diet. I told him that sometimes it is so tough, that I would like to have something like a slice of bread or 1/2 cup of peaches. He told me that I could pick one day a week to eat something I normally could not - obviously, we are still speaking of healthy food here, not candy or snack foods. That made me feel better, I will pick Saturdays since that is the day I weigh myself at home each week. So the bottom line is that although I am still scared, I am proceeding on faith that the surgery is the right move to make. If you all do not mind, I would like to come by now and then to post my progress. Nancy

To Businessmom: My surgeon says he only does two now, the lap band or the gastric sleeve, he no longer does the other surgeries so those are my choices. And to Jenpez, my heart says if I don't get one of these surgeries, I will gain the weight back, and that the sleeve is the one best for me since I do not want the issues of stuck food, multiple adjustments, and having a foreign object in my body. But the sleeve has its own issues as well, both of these surgeries have complications, as well as pluses. I never thought of myself as indecisive but here I am.

I want to thank all of those who have responded so far. I understand completely about the not being able to keep it off part. As to the boyfriend, although he may adjust later on, I already know that he will have zero sympathy as I recover if I happen to not feel good and will only say "I told you not to do it". He worked against me as I began the diet but I did not let him stop me although he did everything he could such as eating every dessert, food, or drink that was forbidden to me. But I knew that I had to do something because at 424 pounds, I could not even bathe myself properly. So I began, alone and discouraged but determined. I am a strong woman, but basically one unsure of taking major steps without any support. It is one thing for someone to remain neutral and non-supportive, but he will become punitive if I complain about anything post surgery. The only thing that happened with him was that he finally became supportive of my dieting and actually began to eat things I could not have out of my sight - and even one day when I wanted to shuck it all out the window, he encouraged me to stay the course. All this will go out the window though if I have the surgery and am sick, have any complications or need more emotional support from him. I have no family left, just a few friends. One friend, a nutritionist, does not even support the bariatric diet that I have been on, considering it too severe. And lately, I have become tired of the same carbs, the same foods, etc. On my limited income, food choices are limited at times. Anyway, my surgeon suggests the sleeve. I have hypertension, and diabetes, and I was beginning to show slight kidney impairment, (which went back to normal as I lost the weight on my own). I am afraid of losing my taste, of never being able to enjoy a steak, of having a strange complication (one person I met said that she could never eat shell fish again because the taste did not agree with her), of getting dehydrated, of never enjoying another evening out with friends at a restaurant, and finally, of ending up with even more limited food choices than I already have. I have passed the cardio clearance, the echocardiogram, the EKG, the two exercise classes necessary, the psychiatric clearance, the gastroenteriologist clearance, and I have written the personal letter, and listed all my previous attempts to lose weight, and the only things left are the chest x-ray, pelvic ultrasound, and sleep study. The walls are closing in. I will be seeing my doctor in the morning, in about 10 hours and hope that he will help me, but his bedside manner is generally short and minimally comforting so I don't know how he will respond. I am happy to have found this site, and again, thank you all for helping me. I will check back again to see if there are any more replies as soon as I get back from the doctor's tomorrow. BTW, my given name is Nancy.