bandster_1007

ok..you went there...haha..so i'm going there...lol. i know it is gross, but i have had diarhea and then have a bowel obstruction in the same hour. my doctor says that a lot of times if you have loose stool that means you actually have a blockage or compaction. i don't get it either..but that has been the case for me..and when i had a complete blockage last week...i was going every day....wth?

thank you all for your replies. sometimes, when you are in the middle of all of the stress the cortisone levels in your body are just so high, that i don't think you think clearly...does that make sense? i was so stressed yesterday and this morning, and i was thinking all these crazy ideas, and my body was hurting and it was in "fight or flight mode"..haha...then i posted on here...had a heart to heart with a co-worker, and at lunch i went and purchased a card for dh and a package of lifesaver's (cuz he's my lifesaver haha) and took them to his work and put them on his mirror (hope he gets it, i realized he took his key off of my ring because he lost his when i got there). i also called a friend at lunch just to tell her that i miss her and i love her. and..biggy here..i called my doctor's office and i was in tears on the phone...needing this fill you know.. well, she talked to me for about 7 minutes on the foods that i was eating, and was trying to think of denser stuff. then we talked a bit longer and i said "are you trying to tell me to stop beating myself up and relax"..and she said "yeah, basically. once the weight starts coming off, you won't be able to stop it. be patient, and don't be so hard on yourself, dieting is hard for all of us, that is why we need the band, and your "diet" will not work until you have restriction."...so i felt better. and i read all of your caring and considerate posts, and i feel better.

yes, i have. i have had a lot of red in my stool (i know tmi), and a lot of cramping, and a lot of fresh blood during movements. i have also been extremely lightheaded..but i'm thinking this will pass and has to do with the previous obstruction. i've heard that if you have backed up bowels it slows down weight loss. it is healing, but it is taking time, so hopefully you are right (and for now i need to cut out the cheese..lol) you have no idea how much this support means to me. i honestly feel like i just left yoga. sometimes it just takes getting it out...and seeing other's be honest with you and hearing that it will pass. the money issues will be fixed, it's just going to take us time to recuperate, and some serious budget analyzing.

thank you..i had already calmed down much this morning, and was thinking of ways to help with things tonight. i know he was surprised of my sleeping on the couch. i'm not one to do that. in hindsight i think that the migraine i was having was causing me to be sort of overreactive. i am pain free right now (i wasn't when i posted this), and i am already feeling much better. you are absolutely right, when we are add odds..it seems like the whole world is falling down. we have to learn to talk to each other about what is really stressing us...money, etc., instead of fussing about other things. sometimes it takes us a minute to have a heart to heart (and honestly this is the first time we have ever been this financially tight, so i'm sure it is a learning process). thank you very much.

as far as my fill..unfortunately they have already been paid. they told me i had an apl 10cc. i have told them 4 times that is incorrect and ask which i had an aps, or a 14 cc. no response. either way, i have 6.5 cc's from my first fill. also, as for my house and car. my car will be paid in 2 months...i never buy new and only went for a $200/month payment. our other car is paid for. and for our house...i would have paid way more than $600/month in rent. so it made sense. we went for a sensible house, and not the top of the line. i have an older home that is just the right size for us, no reason to be flashy. we do not try to live outside of our means. we rarely finance things and make decisions based on what we need, not what we want (most of the time )

thank you. i should have explained better about the migraine medicine. i have meds, and a neuro who is ready and willing to dope me up. but they haven't been working. ALTHOUGH I AM HAPPY TO REPORT THAT MY MAXALT WORKED THIS MORNING....YYYYYYYYEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSS. so, i have nose sprays, and meltables, and i chop up pills, but lately..nothing is working. i shouldn't have co-signed for my brother. but when i did it, i had money in the bank to cover the balance, and he was supposed to pay it off with an inheritance that he received 3 months later. well, now i have no money..and he didn't pay it off. luckily this was caught before it was reported, and the payment is being made. i can promise that i will not co-sign for anyone again. you know..he was 18, and no one could afford to buy him a car (did that once, it went into the river--emergency brake went out), and he lives in a rural area, so it's hard to work without a car. but..lesson learned..and believe me..i will be checking now every month. also, i just wanted to say that i am trying to get a fill. desperately. i call every day. but the simple fact is, they don't really care. i missed my fill appointment because i was sick, and i have one scheduled for jan 2, so i'm not a priority. unfills seem to be taking up all of their time (people are getting sick). and i am not keeping the junk food at home..thank god...or i would really be in trouble. i mean the pizza..yeah that was at home. but i work in an office and it is the holidays and we contract work out to appraisers and title companies, and they are giving us all kinds of goodies. i do think the financial stress will settle down. it just takes time, but for now, i just really needed to get all of that out there....instead of carrying it.

thank you for responding..to answer some of your questions: 1. i suffer from terrible migraines, and i have a child, and dh works about 60 hours a week, so i'm not sure if a second job would be a good idea. i have thought about opening a flea market booth, or selling avon, or home interior, or mary kay again. i need to wait a little bit until afterward. as dh says, "you do not need to add to your workload until you can handle the one that you have"...i miss regularly at my 40 hour job due to illness....i am getting better though..and my 40 hour job pays about $33k a year, so in arkansas, i'm tuff to beat that salary. 2. as for my brother. he is adhd, anti-social disorder, and 19. i should've known better, but i love him and i empathize with him, so when he didn't have the cash on hand, and he needed a car, and my parents couldn't help..i co-signed. i am not making excuses for him, but i totally understand him missing his payment. he just got a job making $7/hour 45 miles from his home, his fiancee is pregnant, and all of their utilities are being cutt off because they don't have the money. he hasn't had a job in a long time now though, so it was coming. i'm more upset by the fact that he didn't tell me. it always hurts me when i see some parts of his character shine through. he has always been one to run instead of facing the consequences. the payment has been made today though, my mom paid it. i haven't had a chance to get a hold of my brother yet. i'm going to explain to him AGAIN how important it is that he makes his payments, because he is affecting my life when he doesn't. 3. my fills are paid for the next year and a half. doesn't do much good though if it takes months to get in...lol. thank you for your suggestion though, i really appreciate it. thank you. i really appreciate your support. i need it. i know that i will get through this, and i feel like such a whiner. haha..but i feel better already.

..I just wanted to add taht i am sorry for being so negative... i really have been trying not to be..but i'm just boiling over with negativity right now.

i think i have given you guys an update on here, but i cannot remember.. so here is my update: 1. as of last night- i officially weigh 3 more lbs than i did pre-op. 2. i have worn the same pants to work now for the past 6 months, and now i have to lie on the bed to button them 3. i have no will power, and i'm stressed about $$, I WAS A SELF PAY....so the holiday goodies..i'm a' eatin' 4. dh and i are on hard times...there is a lot of tension and it is related to the fact that i am not exercising, that i am not eating right, and that we are paying out almost $400/month for this surgery..not to mention it's x-mas time and every single other penny that we have is gone (and when i say hard times..i mean it..i'm sleeping on the couch). 5. i have been being patient, but i'm about to lose it......literally..my top is going to pop any day now..i'm so damn frustrated. 6. i feel a need to explain to everyone that knows i had the surgery why i haven't lost weight 7. i hate myself even more than i did before..i feel like such a failure 8. i can eat anything (anything..means 4 pieces of pizza for dinner and ready for a snack an hour later). what does my goal need to be for next month? well, first i've got to get some control over this stress...i'm carrying it all in my shoulders. then i need to: 1. begin journaling again 2. stop drinking with meals...ever 3. exercise 4. get a fill (I MISSED MY 2ND DUE TO BEING SICK..AND THEY CAN'T FIT ME IN TO MAKE IT UP %&*$)(@).

ok, so this is a vague post because i don't want to be too specific. but, i have noticed in my whole 2 months as a member of this forum, that some people have modified their signatures, or have become quiet due to what some people have said on this forum. an example that i have, and i hope that she forgives me if she knows who this is, but there is a "seasoned" bandster on this forum that had the most awesome picture in her signature. her picture was one of my MAIN inspirations to have my band. she has since removed her picture because of some things that were said. i think it is sad that it seems some of our most experienced members are purposely removing themselves from the lime light because some arrogant, "know it all" feels they have a right to persecute another person. we are all adults on this forum..for the most part. we all deal with our own problem in real life. this is supposed to be a place of haven and sanctity where we can come and not feel as if we are being persecuted. we are all individuals and i think we all have a right to our own opinion, but some people can just be down right asses about their opinion and it turns into a mud throwing competition instead of a healthy debate. i think it is sad. we deal with enough crap in our lives as it is. we have enough persecution being fat people. why would we intentionally say things to sway or hurt another person because we are offended? so what if that person is more successful for you, if it bothers you then you need to work on your on insecurities. so what if someone posts something that is very personal and graphic (i'm guilty), who are you to tell that person that they shouldn't do that? so what if someone chastises (spelling) another for eating solid right after surgery, that person more than likely knew that they were breaking the rules, and they should know that posting it here will get a response. all i'm saying is bring it on, i can handle it. if i post something and you feel a need to express your opinion, then do it. however, do not be so arrogant to think that your way is right and i should change based on your post (i'm not talking about bandster rules in this paragraph). we are all people, and we all have our own opinions, if you are offended, then do not read. if you have your feeling hurt easily then do not post something that YOU KNOW will get a response that you can't handle. it's time for people to put their big girl panties on, or big boy undies, and grow up. i just cannot believe that some people are so arrogant and obnoxious to think that they have a right to tell anyone what the should or should not do (again..not talking about the bandster rules). if you have been successfull YOU SHOULD SHOW IT AND BE PROUD. don't let some cynical, self doubting, prude, tell you that you shouldn't because it makes people feel bad. that is crap. absolute crap. ...and i want that oldie to put her picture back damn it. it was inspiration and now it is gone, because some idiot felt the need to tell that person that they were offended...ridiculous...

i was banded, lost 12 lbs, went to solids...gained it all back. i've had one fill, and i have no restriction (i ate 4 pieces of pizza last night). my will power is dead, and i have BIG problems dieting...BUT..i do not drink with my meals, and i do not drink liquid calories. i also do not exercise. so...now i am as i was prior to surgery..i am the same weight..but now i have a "muffin top"..never had one of those before...and this morning i could not button a pair of pants that i have worn now for over 6 months WTF???? i have a distended...prego looking abdomen..and i'm irritated as hell because my doctor cannot fit me in for a fill. soo....that is it in a nutshell.

liziee-no i do not have any restriction...none. i think they tricked me. the only time that i have ever even felt my band is when i was eating some tortilla chips. i felt them sitting on top of it. i would be more than happy with 5 LBS, but i can't even claim victory with that..because i've lost zilch.

if you research you will find several other cases that suggest this also. my band doctor believes it has a lot to do with genes (as i would assume most bariatric doctors do believe).. but..this is my problem...no one in either side of my family are heavy....no one...except my dad..and he weighs less than me and is a foot taller. where in the hell did i get it from????????? lol....

i'm lucky to have the hourglass shape, and i love being short, but i can't wait to be truly petite. all the women in my family are tiny (none of the men are heavy either...except my dad..we are the only ones). anyways, my mom is 4'10" and most of her life she weighed 85 lbs (she is a nice healthy 120 now, and she thinks she's fat :faint:..haha..she still wears a size 5...but i do joke with her that she just might be considered obese now.. (haha..she has bad health problems and really doesn't need any extra weight, but her new med's caused a quick weight gain..she always sayed things to me out of concern..so now i'm returning the favor..although she is almost 50 and i would rather her be an older woman with some meat on her bones...). anyways..back to the subject, i have a cousin who is the same as my mom 4'10" wears a size 0, a sister who has had 4 kids and is 5'0" and half my size...lol. only one girl in the whole family who is taller than me..... so, i'll be glad when we can go to christmas gatherings, etc., and i won't feel like the giant (hhahaha...it's hard to believe i'm the giant at 5'2").

liziee-i'm so sorry about the flu. did you get a shot? i know that is horrible, and it only makes it worse being banded. i agree with your doc though, in that you want to make sure your swelling goes down. i mean, i have to be patient, i am exactly 2 months out tomorrow and i am the exact same weight that i was when i went in. but they way i look at it, is i have time. i took the time to heal, now i'm taking the time to get fills, and when restriction kicks in, it's time to kick butt..lol. but, i don't want to risk erosion or anything in the process. however, my doctor is much more agressive with his fills, i got 6.5 cc's on my first one. so..i think i would be frustrated if i were getting less (by the way, with 6.5 cc's i can easily eat 4 pieces of pizza at dinner...that was my regular amount prior to surgery).

apple-i'm not sure if you mean that you are surpised that i haven't lost any weight, but i did and then gained it back. some people have this problem and they do not lose weight until they get a good fill. i've only had one fill. i'm sure taht the surgery will still be successfull, i've just got to wait on my fill

yeah i'm banded..october 18th..no weight loss yet. i didn't know they could test you for it...wow..i thought it was a symptomatic diagnosis.

uh..i majored in psych..but that doesn't amount to much, but i have been diagnosed. i used to get up several times a night to check the doors and all of the windows..and if you noticed about the key thing and checking under cars. i have ocd and it does cripple my life. oh and another thing..the amount of times that you check is not what defines you as OCD...the fact that you can't sleep until you do it, and the fact that you HAVE to do it a certain number of times, is what defines you as OCD. if i accidentally get in the bed without checking every door is locked TWO times..then i cannot sleep. that is OCD by textbook. and if you go home to check to make sure that things are unplugged because you CAN'T go on..and you do it regularly, that classifies you as OCD. you do not have to do it every day. as with any illness there are different degrees.

i have not been diagnosed with pcos, but i have not been to a real gyno in years. i show many symptoms. thanks for sharing about the diabetic thing. thankfully he can get hard and he does often, sometimes it just takes more to get it there (my not even be related to sugar..it's probably in his head (pun intended)). sometimes i want him to be physically attracted to me and not have to work for although i know that he isn't. he loves me and he thinks that i am beautiful, but it affect the raw attraction aspect of it. you know what i mean...??? he on the other hand is fit..and honestly..and i'm not being mean in any way..but i have never been attracted to heavier men..it just isn't there for me. and no matter how "thick" i have gotten my men have always been cut. if he were as obese as i am, i would need help getting "wet" too. i need help now, but it's not because of his looks, sometimes i just have a hard time getting my mind to shut off. i didn't think you were laughing at me. you are hilarious. i love your posts. i bet you will be so glad when you get to see your husband. i live in jacksonville, arkansas and there is a base here. i believe there may be another in arkansas, but it is the main one. it is air force. anyways, most of the people that live here are military, so i know what you are talking about. i also work at a mortgage company and about 90% of our loans are military so i talk to a lot of seperated spouses. oh..and toys..i love them. well..i say i do, but i do not have a running collection and i tend not to go toward anything that penetrates. i know..i know tmi. but if all i ever had to use was a toy i would die. dh has gotten me some for b-days and stuff and he lets incorporate them (on myself---unless it is a sleeve or something)..but the weight kind of affects that too..sometimes it is too hard to reach areas that need to be contacted because my gut is in the way, or my arms are just too short...or you get the point. SOOO..losing weight will help with that for sure. then i can just incorporate my toys whenever i want. dh doesn't mind, as long as i enjoy it. plus i tend to let him get away with more (i have a pain during sex) when i do incorporate because it helps relax muscles, and he can be as rough as he wants. ahahahahaha..i'm literally going to jump him tonight. oh and funny thing..i used to not be able to treat him orally very often because of my neck...ooo when i went to the chiro for the very first time..i wouldn't stay away from him...i was "bobbin" all day..ahahahahah

tell me more about this please..how do you get your hormone levels checked exactly. i'm curious because i think i show signs of having excess testosterone, which i believe is associated with pcod. i have dark facial hair, a low drive, cramp like crazy, and i have INSANE migraines each and every month. and pmdd isn't even the half of it...my hormones make me crazy in many ways. i've talked to my pcp about it, and she put me on yaz, she said it helps...now i have acne...:faint: ..thanks...one more thing to not like about myself..haha. i've been on birth control since i was 12. if i do not take birth control, i have one extreme or the other. i have amenorhea (no period) or i have one literally every 5 days. :faint:again...not fun. actually, i had no period for a solid year when i got pregnant...doctor's said it was a MIRACLE haha..they were anticipating an early hysterectomy for me from endometriosis... now..i've had son and i've had cervical cancer..early stages, had have my cervix removed..not it has flipped..wth..how does that happen...likely will not be able to have another child..so i'm glad i did get pregnant when i did ..even though i was "knocked up" by dh..because he was an immature teenager at the time and he wasn't ready...so i lied and said it wasn't his... ok...enough of my rambling..tell me more about this hormone check.

oh yeah..i should have added that it is EXTREMELY hard for me to orgasm..and sometimes..i just don't care enough about it, because i will not climax. but ..if i get all hot first...no problem..but it's not always easy to get me all hot first....weird..i know... but the swing...and the ball...and being picked up over his shoulder.....omg..just thinking about it makes me want to go jump him (he's a very sexy man..8 pack abs, pecs to die for).... i think you girls just helped me end a dry spell....oooooooo..can't wait to get home from work..think we will tell ds that we have to have some "grown up talk" and lock the door....

i know we are young..but god do we act old. i think he may have diabetes too and i think it effects his drive. and i have to make an extra effort because he is not instantly turned on by my body..and sometimes..honestly..by the time we get into the bed..i'm too tired for effort. i just want him to be 16 again and get hard just because he thinks about a pencil...haha..and boy do i miss the 12 hour sex adventures and the multiple orgasms on both parts..now it's hit or miss with him...if he hits and i missed...i gotta wait some hours to get some more...or just go take care of myself..lol.... i think that will get better too. let me say that if i were satisfied with my body he probably would be, but i'm not and it shows. if i even just lose 15 lbs and i'm all happy with myself, it's like i'm a new person in his eyes. we do spice it up some...new movies here...new mirrors there...new this.... I LOVE THE POINTS SYSTEM...haha..i need to try that with dh. i made him a coupon book for v-day once..and it is still in his drawer. wish he would make one for me...lol.

i have been handled that way because i became "active" at a very early age in life..and i was thin until about 5 years ago. dh was my "first" and i was 13 and he was 16. it's funny because we can compare how we were then and how we are now............we are getting old. and then when i was 18 and he was 21....omg..it was awesome....then the baby came. (we broke up and moved away from each other..and i actually married someone else for a short time..so we haven't been together for 12 years haha). but..when i was thin he was just soooooo much more into it. maybe because he was younger too, but he was aggressive and passionate all at the same time. now we've turned into this ..."so do you wanna".."yeah"..ok....hahaa..i have to do something new every few months and it helps a lot.

lmao...haha..hopefully it doesn't really break a hole. haha. i didn't see it on here, but how much did you find it for? i have seen them for $300 and wanted to know that they would last before investing. -i tend to be a bigger freak than dh (at least inside)..i want to do it in public somewhere somehow...not REAL public...but like up against a car outside or something. or on the ground in a field beside the road..i know weird right....fantasies..what can i say.

oh man...i didn't read on..you actually have one. you have to share your experience. i want one soooooooo bad.