circa

So again, no call from the Surgery Center - was supposed to have gotten a call either Thursday or Friday - but nothing....I'll call today on my lunch to see what's going on. I'm so not a big fan of waiting.

Grrr! They're not open today! First they had a message on their phone that said they were having a staff meeting and would open back up at 1 - THEN after that, the message changed to in-house training and they wouldn't be available today. *flail* Ok - tomorrow I call!

I hope their in-house training included learning how to call when they say they're going to! haha!

Not feeling well today. I've got issues with my adrenal glands going bonkers - and today is one of those days. I'm having a physical anxiety attack - which means that while I don't have the mental activity of an anxiety attack, my body still goes through all those feelings. Today is worse than most days that this has happened. I also have been fighting off a bug of some sort that seems to be winning. So putting both of those together does not make for a very pleasant feeling.

Still hoping to hear from the surgeon's office today.

A wise man (psychologist) once told me' date=' "we have to own and take responsibility for what we say...no one knows what you meant, its what you say!" That's why when someone uses a derogatory racial term but then says no offense, or I really like people of whatever race it doesnt count...you said it, its hurtful, you own it!

Good luck girl! Cali[/quote']

EXACTLY! Say what you mean and mean what you say! Sure, we can all mis-speak from time to time, but its not like this is the first time! Yes, he was joking he clarified, but that doesn't mean even the joke doesn't hurt. Hopefully someday he'll think before he speaks a bit more

I really can't stand when my husband tires to make a joke and it just hits me the wrong way - joking about things that I can't control - things that are affected by my illness. It HURTS that he says things like that, but he doesn't see it that way because its "not what he meant". I really don't care what he MEANT - think before you speak, jerk. It'd be one thing if this was the first time this happened - but its a repeated thing.

I am waiting so very impatiently for the surgeon's office to call me for my first consultation appointment. This is just not sitting well for me. I hate hate hate waiting for anything. Patience is a virtue I am without. Hahah I'm without most virtues, I think

I just want this all to move in a forward direction. I feel like i"m sitting at the DMV - you know - the endless wait that never seems to end - and is really more painful than it should be? :thumbup:

Wow. Thank you for being so blunt and open about this.

contact your human resources department - demand that they add an obesity clause for coverage in your health insurance! They are the ones that excluded it. They do this to pay lower premiums. In the long run though, from all the health issues associated with obesity, they'll actually be paying more. It makes no sense to exclude it.

What a great feeling that must be! Keep it up - happy tears are good tears!

good luck to you!

So i told my husband of what I'm planning and he's supportive. His mom had GB surgery a couple years ago and he wanted to make sure I looked into what I was doing. I explained to him the differences between the surgeries and he's very supportive of me getting the lap band. He loves the idea. He just wants me to be healthy and happy and if this gets me there sooner, he's good with that.

We had some issues a while back when I was really quite ill - he just really wasn't there - he said he was, but he wasn't. He didn't put forth any effort and it really got to me. We nearly split up - and I'm still working through that and he's still working on it as well - I have in the back of my mind that when I'm back to my old self and healthy again, how do I get past the fact that he wasn't there for me when I absolutely needed him the most? He's working on that and so am I. So his support here, whether he means it or not is a step in the right direction :thumbup:

I made it quite clear to him that I didn't want anyone to know. Its a trust issue and I need to be able to trust him - not just with this, but with anything.

I just realized that I have, in part, been waiting for someone to do something for me. I think because I wanted to make sure the surgeon saw me how I am. But he's got my weight from my PCP - I need to start the pre-op diet now. Maybe that'll help to speed up things. And if it doesn't, I'm just that much more ahead of the curve. If I falter, I have more time to recover from falling off the wagon. I just need to do something now. I ordered new parts for my exercise equipment so it'll be easier (I have a home gym - I actually used it so much in the past that i wore out some parts! haha - yeah I used to be a real health nut - and hope to be again!) so once those come in, I'll even be able to start working out again - with no excuses! I'm off to the store on my lunch to pick up some pre-op goodies. Screw this waiting around - i need to do more on my part to make this happen. Maybe if I can prove to the surgeon that I'm more serious than anything about this ,I can get my surgery sooner. Here's hoping!

I'm still waiting for the surgical center to call me and schedule my appointment. If they don't call me by end of day today, I'm calling them tomorrow. I don't like waiting for things! I'm not very good at being patient :thumbup:

I couldn't wait :thumbdown: I called them today and the NP is reviewing my letter and it will be given to the scheduling coordinator who will be in on Thursday and Friday this week - hopefully I'll receive a call. The advisor there said that I could probably get in for an initial visit at the end of april/early may. But that its going to be 4-6 months for the process to continue after that - so I'm not too happy about that.

I'm just waiting for the surgeon's office to call me to come in for my first of 2 consults. I'm apparently going with Dr. Nizzi at Grand Traverse Surgery at this point and time. If they tell me it'll be 6 months, I'll be checking into other option in Grand Rapids, etc.

Ugh and I left my cell phone at home today - hope they didn't try to call me!

I've been looking at all these before and after pictures....and I think what scares me the most is taking that before picture and looking at it. I know my view is distorted - I know what I looked like before all this happened - and it wasn't all that long ago. I know I don't look like that any longer and I know I carry my weight different from everyone else....and I know what I looked like 50 lbs ago - kinda... I SO do not want to look at that before picture. I'm afraid I'll literally get sick to my stomach. I've avoided mirrors as much as possible - I don't do pictures since I'm always the one with the camera. Its going to be a difficult thing. Probably the hardest thing of all - seeing the reality for what it really is.

I found it appropriate for all of us.

oh my gosh. That is something that is unfathomable. No one would ever expect that complication. I hope for you that once all is said and done that you have smooth sailing and don't have a care in the world - you deserve it after the ordeal you're faced with. My sister always says that if god brings you to it, he'll bring you through it -so keep your faith strong!

I'm having an internal struggle as to which surgery I should have. I have a lot of weight to lose - almost 200 lbs. Most of which was gained in the last 2 years. I know I need to discuss this with the surgeon, but I'm still on the fence myself. I like the idea of the band as being a tool instead of actually changing my anatomy. But then with say the sleeve or the rny, the weightloss is faster. But its not all about how fast you lose - I know that. I keep thinking to myself that I can lose that much with the band. But then I think - then why can't I do it without the band? I've not been in this situation for a lifetime or even a great portion of my life so its difficult for me to comprehend. Sure, I've struggled with my weight my whole life, but up til I got sick in 2006, I always won those battles. Sure, I was a little overweight but I was healthy and happy. And now I'm far from healthy and I can't even see happy from where I'm at. Its not just that I'm sad. I'm ANGRY. I had started my training to run a half marathon. Yeah - i was in great shape! Then one day....The world toppled down on me. Combining not lifting weights, not running every day with making poor food choices and being depressed because I couldn't do what I wanted, then add in the IV treatments and the steroids, which caused more depression which caused more poor food choices and more eating - yeah I can see how I got here. I know I would have gained a lot of weight even without the poor food choices, but I just added insult to my own injury. I take full responsibility for Jack in the Box for dinner and breakfast nearly every day for quite a while. OH - and you bet that's a large fry with that. Diet coke, of course to drink. Or Iced tea - unsweetened! I'm on a diet, afterall!

I kick myself every day for making a bad situation worse. There's no telling what point I would be at if i had made better food choices. I know it wouldn't be at the 200 lb overweight mark. But maybe just 100 lbs. 100 lbs is doable! I can deal with that. But TWO HUNDRED?! What the hell did I do to myself? And all because I was sad that I couldn't run. Yeah. That makes sense. Now, I'm so far beyond being able to control this that I now have to have a device put in my stomach OR have 3/4 of my stomach removed in order to even be healthy. Uhm WHAT?!

I guess I'm an overachiever. I did in 2 years what it takes some to do in a lifetime!

But.

I'm addressing it now. I'm doing what I need to do to get healthy. It wasn't all that long ago. I don't need the pictures to remember what it was like to be a size 8/10. I remember how it felt. I remember that I could sit in any chair, climb a ladder, run stairs in 4 inch heels and put my feet behind my head *lol* it wasn't that long ago! So yeah - there's a bit of speed factor going on in my mind. But there's also a lot of "I don't wanna go through this again" going on too. But I know my lifestyle. I know what I want to do in the future and that tells me that its going to be the band or sleeve. Then I have to think about longevity - which again, is probably band. But can I just control it and do the sleeve? I just don't know that I want to alter my anatomy. But then again, if it was my foot that was killing me, I'd have that cut off....

So many thoughts. I know - meeting with the surgeon will really help. Buuuuut....the more I can work through in my mind first, the better.

*ramble*ramble*ramble*ramble*

congrats! I got that call yesterday too! :scared2:

congrats on your victories! Every time I read about someone's steps forward, it really tells me that this is the right thing to do!

I'm SO hoping that's the response I get.

because i like to be a pain in the ass, I called the insurance company - my visit to the surgeon for a consult has been APPROVED. :scared2: I'm going to call them and talk to them regarding it

I got an email from my doctor yesterday - she has submitted to my insurance company for my approval. Now I'm just waiting to hear what the decision is. I can't imagine that I'd be denied. My BMI by the insurance company scale is 54.9, which hopefully will be considered 55 (never thought I'd be happy about that) - just means I can go right to surgery.

I'm gathering a positive attitude. I've gotten so much taken care of, I'm off the steroids, I'm only on the necessary medications now. I feel a sense of relief knowing that there's a light at the end of the tunnel. My doctor has submitted for my approval for the surgery. Waiting on the insurance company now. After that, I get referred to the surgeon. I'm excited to get this going. I don't want to get my hopes up too far, but my BMI is high enough that I should be able to just go have the surgery done (never thought I'd be happy to have a high BMI). I wasn't going to have the surgery done locally because I live in a small town and there are a lot of nosey people around here. But I'm going to. Unfortunately, they don't do the surgery outpatient here yet. Though I might ask for it to be. We'll see. For as heavy and unhealthy as I am, I'm still pretty agile and strong. I don't have issues with breathing, no real co-morbities other than the ones my medications caused. I'm looking forward to this. To getting my life back. To strapping on a pair of running shoes and actually running again. I even bought a new pair. They're waiting for me.

i'm starting over with my journey to have this surgery done. I thought maybe I could do it without -but I'm so heavy now, I don't even know where to start. I'm so lost in a sea of fat, that I can't find my way out by myself. I'm angry. At myself, at the insurance company, at doctors, at the people that screwed up the first time around and I wasn't able to have the surgery...but its a new day and I'm setting that anger into action to get things done better this time. I have a new insurance company (I have 2 of them, in fact!) So one way or another, I'm going to get my life back. It wasn't that long ago that I was happy and healthy. I need to be that person again.

The doctor has changed my medications - I'm getting off the steroids as soon as possible (I have to be weaned) - Things aren't going that well with my treatments, but hopefully this changeup does some good. This will be the defining factor as to whether or not I go ahead with the surgery.