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They're checkin into whether or not what my doctor has done with me is sufficient - my advocate (she finally got ahold of me) said it SHOULD be - I'm gathering all my medical records from the last 5 years. Its not easy being in a different state and timezone from most of your medical records. The doctors offices have been pretty cool about it though. The hospital back home said they'd have them to me in a week - they keep all the records for the doctors that no longer practice as well as the Urgent Care/Care Now walk in places - which will be my best bet for 2 of the years.

Preach on! This is SO true! Isn't that what life is all about? Finding better ways to do things! Sometimes the easier way IS better! I'd rather drive smooth sailing on the turnpike than bumper to bumper on the freeway and get home in 30 minutes instead of an hour and a half!! Is that taking "the easy way"? Yup! And I'm thought to be smart because of it! So I spend a couple bucks a day taking the toll road - who cares? Its my money and I'm getting things done more efficiently so I can get on with the rest of my life! Next time this person says something to you about it being the easy way, make the same comment about them when they're using a microwave, dishwasher, washing machine, heck CAR to do the daily things they need to do. cooking, dishes, laundry and transportation can all be done manually - but they're doing it the "easy way"!

Thanks Jack - ya know, I'm so mentally motivated. I just wish there was something that they could do to end the physical fatigue so I could do something. Its been quite a challenge - I've hurt myself twice attempting to exercise. My muscle fatigue is to the point of uselessness from all the treatments I've been on. The only thing I can liken it to is, when you're lifting weights and you've put a little too much on the bars and you're at the very end of your last set of X reps, and you can't physically budge the weights and you're straining as hard as you can just to get that last rep done...That's what it feels like just walking for me after a while. My muscles won't physically move. Once my treatments are done, that'll mostly go away. But until then, the weight is piling on and I'm starting to get buried in a hole I can't see a way out of.

I typically drink about a gallon and a half of water a day. I've done that for years. If this was really all there was to it, I'd look like paris hilton It is great for the skin and very good for the body, but there's more to maintaining a healthy weight than drinking Lake Michigan every day.

I would frankly just look at her and say "well you can think what you want but at least I'm taking steps to do something about my health - what are you doing?" She's probably jealous that you've made this decision. This will make it easier for you to control your weight, but its not the easy way out. I used to think that way too. I was always physically and mentally capable of keeping myself in tune. Then karma bit me in the butt and now I can't. I would never say anything to anyone about it being the easy way out - I would always be supportive of anyone trying to better their lives - as long as it was a healthy decision - which this is. But in all the medical issues that hit me like a ton of bricks, I've realized that, just because I could do something, doesn't mean others could. Hell, I can't do a lot of things that others can. And just because when I did something and it worked for me, when others tried it and it didn't work for them didn't mean they weren't trying as hard as I was - in fact, a lot of times, people were trying harder - they just didn't get my results. I liken it to when I was in school. I worked so very hard in chemistry - harder than anyone - but I still didn't get the grades others did. Its no different. I get very tired of people making rude remarks about anything that revolves around someone's abilities. You're not being lazy. Sure, some people are lazy. Some people don't try. I have a sister in law that sits around all day eating nothing but junk food and complains that she's getting fat and its not fair. Well freaking DUH woman! She doesn't work, her house is a pig stye, her kids are unkempt, she literally is the stereotype that sits on her butt all day and eats bonbons (really - I didn't know anyone actually ate those things) and watches tv. The most exercise she gets is getting into her car to go get McDonald's. She has decided that she's (and these are her words) "going to get fat now so she can have the fat surgery so she won't have to worry about getting fat later in life" - can you believe that???

Its good to read this. Things need to be stated realistically. There is no magic pill, there is no magic band. And if I hear that stupid commercial "EAT ALL YOU WANT AND STILL LOSE WEIGHT! WE COULDN'T SAY IT ON TV IF IT WASN'T TRUE!!!" Commercial again, I'm going to put my dumbells through the tv! Sure you can eat all you want and still lose weight - if you throw it up afterwards - then you end up ripping your esophagus out from the inside and dying....But anyway. Nothing is 100%. Its just like the stop smoking aids - if you smoke and want to quit and you know someone that's quit by using a product, you're going to try it, aren't you? Even if you know someone that hadn't quit smoking using it. It boils down to the individual at that point and time. The band is a GOOD thing for those that are ready for it. Just like anything else - its a hand up, not a hand out. Its a tool. A hammer is a tool - if you have a hammer and want to build a house, its not going to happen unless you use the hammer the way its supposed to be used. Just setting the hammer down on a pile of 2X4's and saying "Okay, let's build a house" and then sitting back in the rocking chair and sucking down shakes and hohos is not going to make it happen!

Yeah - its the person at the surgeon's office. When I call to talk to anyone else there, they tell me I have to speak to her, as she is my contact. When I stop by there, they tell me she's busy and I"ll have to wait or call later. I'm just at my wits end and if it goes on much longer, I'm going to be into next year before I can get this done and then I'm going to have a huge problem because the cost will go up for my out of pocket by 2 grand. I can't afford that. Not even on a payment plan.

I think its their way of ensuring that you're really determined to do it. If you'll sit there through all that, then you're ready for the next challenge that the surgery will bring you.

Thanks - I mean, I forgave her a long time ago, I still haven't forgotten though. It was imperative for me to forgive her in order for me to get over the issues I had with it. But I don't hide it. Its what happened and its part of what made me who I am, both good and bad. Sometimes I think that if I could just get my medication switched (I'm working on it now), I'll be able to just get the energy to get rid of the weight...but as they said at the clinic, its going to be twice as hard for me to muster the energy because not only am I carrying all the extra weight, but because of the illness and having to be so sedentary, I don't have much for muscle anymore - which is a valid point. But if I can get the medication switched and do this myself, I'd love to. But if not, then I will although begrudgingly haha ask for help

My fatness started when I was a kid. When my father rescued me from the clutches of my abusive mother. I wasn't allowed to eat at my mothers - save rice and popcorn - and sometimes a small amount of instant mashed potatoes. I ate lunch at school, but only the reduced menu, which wasn't very much. It wasn't that we were poor and didn't have food - my mother took my sister out to dinner nearly every night. I moved in with my dad when he found out about this and oh my god - there was food everywhere! I ate everything in sight every chance I got - not aware that there would be food again there the next day. Even when I did realize that there would always be food, subconciously, it didn't register and I continued. I got very fat - to the point that it was difficult for me to play sports any longer. I slimmed down my senior year of high school and after...then I got married when I was 20 - I got extremely depressed in my failed marriage and gained every pound back and then some. After the divorce, the instant loss of 200 lbs with a signature (haha) and a great feeling about my own potential, I decided I would never let anyone dictate how I feel again. I lost a good 120 lbs+ -I have to estimate because my scale only went to 300 and it took a little while to budge. I was at a great weight for me of 180 lbs. I still wanted to lose another 20 or so, but I wasn't too worried about it. My goal was to be in a single digit clothing size and those size 10's were starting to get baggy....Then my health failed. In the last year and a half, I've put on 70 lbs due to the medications I'm on, the inability to exercise and just general overall fatigue. I feel like I'm failing myself. I put up with this unknown illness for my whole life. I powered through it. I ignored it. I just thought I was feeling lazy and I overcame it. Little did I know, I have a genetic disorder that finally took over. Its treatable and manageable - even to the point that I won't even know I have it - other than taking a couple pills a day and going in for bloodwork every 6 months or so. Right now we're working on getting me to that point - and I'm almost there. But now - what do I do with the extra 70 lbs I wasn't planning on? And the extra 35 on top of that that's away from my ideal weight? I don't know if I can do this all over again. I want my life back. I don't want it just given to me - I know I have to work at it - and I WANT to work at it. I just need a little help this time. And if you knew me, you'd know that I've never in my life asked anyone to help me with anything. I've always done everything on my own. I sit back and look at myself and I'm astonished that I'm even contemplating the band. I feel defeated.

I'm not telling anyone. I'm not even telling my husband. Its not that he'll look badly on me for it, its that I personally look badly on myself for it. I never needed help before. After this illness, I can't seem to do anything I used to and I'm ashamed of that - not of the band, not of needing to lose weight, but of myself and my inability to do something I used to be able to do without a second thought. I have been a HUGE advocate for WLS - my mother in law, my own mother and lots of friends...But its my ego getting in the way. Sure, I have an illness that is now on the mend and being treated that has caused this gain that I can't get rid of - but its like admitting that it beat me if I tell other people - and I don't think my super ego can take that. At least not right now.

Wow - that gives me a little hope with Aetna - I think I have a year or two where I don't have doctor's notes regarding my weight. I'm trying to find even Walk-in clinic records that might have my weight on them. Its frustrating! I mean, I'm fat now, I was fat over the past 2 years...I was fat 10 years ago according to my medical records...what the hell is the difference if I don't know my exact weight in 2003???

I'm waiting to hear - my patient advocate was going to recheck on the issue - hopefully it was just something overlooked. If not, I'll appeal.

Apparently, even though I've had 6 months of diet/exercise/weight loss drugs from my PCP, my insurance company wants yet another 4! Uhm - that's not what their qualifications say! AND its going to put me into next year, which means I have to meet my deductable again. I am really so not happy about this. Especially since with all the pre requisite stuff that I already met, the surgery center and I were both looking at a mid-october date for surgery :waytogo:

Scales make a big difference - every scale is calibrated differently. (I'm a scale addict - trust me on this one lol!) Also, your weight can fluctuate anywhere from -15 to +15 lbs a day just from water retention alone! I've often wondered why I put all of my energy listening to something that's run by a 99 cent battery from walmart....but I do.