I too had the same exact feelings. My husband was with me before the surgery on Oct. 3rd. I remember being in the room telling him that maybe I should not do it. I'd already had my IV and everything to start the whole process. I was so nervous and second-guessing myself even though I knew that this was the best thing for me and my family. I prayed so long about it. Everything went just fine.....I have to admit though, I had a crying moment yesterday when I thought, "Can I just have them take it back out?" Can you believe that? But I believe it's close to that time of month and you know how our hormones get! I was a mess.....now today, I'm having lots of happy thoughts! Things have gone great, absolutely GREAT. I only have some pain below my port-incision now. I've been up and at'em since the 2nd day! So, I know where you're coming from.....I'll say an extra prayer for you and I can say, you're doing the right thing! Take Care and God Bless......talk to you soon!