losingsoon

I'm not sure if this is the best place to post this question, but here it is. I have suffered from depression all my life. I'm sure that has contributed greatly to my weight gain over time. Although I have my depression under control a good share of the time, I still suffer from depressive bouts that immobilize me. I am entering this WLS process without any support, although I am married. My husband is pretty much oblivious of me and my needs. He lives in his own world. I have a difficult time making friends so I don't have a support system there. So, I'm on my own. I am worried that I will fail because of my depression. I have been on several medications over time and have not had any success with them. My questions, how many of you suffer from depression and how do you or will you plan to handle it and succeed with WLS?

Thank you Ginger Snaps and Pink Dahlia for your insights. You are both so "right on". Ginger Snaps, I am also in a dead end relationship with my husband. Unfortunately, a big part of my depression is that for financial reasons, I cannot get a divorce or even live apart. We are both retired and there just isn't enough income to support two households. It just can't work. So, I'm trying to figure out how to live separately - together. This is a big challenge. Pink Dahlia, I like your analogy. I'm definitely permanently stuck in week two! Most of the time I don't even leave the house. It feels like a cage and even though the door is open, I can't seem to walk out of it. I'm working on it, though, and although it is really bad sometimes, it isn't as bad as it used to be. I just don't want to make a mistake with this surgery and find myself in a worse depressive state. That is my dilemma.

Thank you. It's wonderful and extremely helpful to hear from people who have "been there." Yes, depression is not something that one can just shake off. It is overwhelming and can completely take over one's life. Fortunately, my bouts of depression are usually short, days and weeks, not months, but it is still debilitating and it makes me very afraid to have this surgery. I have posted in other threads that I am afraid to fail. My depression is a big reason why I am afraid. I am going to seek out a therapist who deals with eating disorders and depression. It is just so darn hard to find someone who is really good. Like I said, I'm going to ask the psychologist who is doing my psych eval. I'm hoping he can point me in the right direction. He must have dealt with this before. Thank you all. I am feeling better. Hope it lasts.

Thank you everyone for your comments and support. I have been to many therapists over the years and been on various antidepressants. I have not found a combination that works long term. I keep working on it and, as I stated in my initial post, I can manage most of the time. Depression runs in my family and it is a life long battle. I will be looking, again, for a therapist. I want to find someone who specializes in weight loss. I'm going to ask the psychologist on Friday when I have my psych eval if he knows of anyone in the area. I'm hoping that will be a good direction to go.

Sounds like gallbladder to me. I could be wrong but that is where I had my gallbladder pain. Hope you're better soon.

I'm so sorry to hear about your arthritis. Can you do hip replacements to solve that problem? I'm overwhelmed with your responses to my concerns. They are all so helpful. I printed them out and will keep them in moments of weakness. I know I need to have faith that this will work for me. It will take time. I have failed so many times when I was positive the process would work. I just don't want to do it again. Did you have a lot of issues with loose skin? I figure I will since I have not done a lot of exercise. If so, how did you deal with it? Thanks again for all your support. It is priceless!

Thanks for sharing 4my2girls. It's interesting, your statistics are almost identical to mine. The difference is that I am 65 with a much higher BMI. I'm glad you are doing this early so you can really enjoy those little girls as they grow up. I'm looking forward to following your progress. I wish you the best of luck. It sounds like you will do well.

Sleeversue - thanks for the insights. It's really helpful to hear from others in this age group. It seems as though most of the sleevers are young. I think the over 60's crowd have different needs and experiences, to some extent. Keep up the good work. It sounds like you are really doing well! LivingFree! Wow! Your post was really helpful. Not only are you close to my statistics, but your weight came on about the same time as mine. It is really, really helpful to hear that you are maintaining after 3 years. One of my big fears is that I will go through this and then gain the weight back. I have now gotten myself off sugar but the exercise component is very difficult for me. I have never been a physical person. Ugh! I also have a difficult time drinking a lot of Water. The water is easier for me, though, than the exercise. The other fear is complications. Of course I have read the Complications thread and those things put the fear in me. I'm not trying to make excuses, I'm just trying to make sure I can be successful. I just don't want ANOTHER failure. I want to do this right. What have you done to maintain for 3 years? That is wonderful!

Wow! Awesome photos! You look beautiful!!!

You guys are so inspiring. I'm almost through all my tests. Did the stress test today. Just have the psych eval left. I waiver back and forth if this is the right thing to do. I really appreciate your posts because it helps me through my doubts. I am 65 and only 4' 10" so the weight I'm carrying and have carried a very long time is crushing my future. I know that, but the fear keeps creeping in. Thanks for all your positive comments.

Has anyone had experience with Dr. Chaing or Elmbrook Memorial Hospital in Milwaukee, WI? I am considering this doctor for my sleeve surgery. I would like to talk to someone who has had experience with them. Thanks Mardi

It's both great and terrible to read these reasons. Great because I know I am not alone, and terrible because we are all, or have been, suffering in some way. The reasons we decided on this surgery tells the story. I am sick and tired of: being afraid of and ashamed of meeting new people -- I have always felt that my size defines me loving to travel but not being able to walk and enjoy the places I have had the good fortune to visit fear of being touched not being able to take a bath -- can't get out of the bathtub not being able to ride my bike -- fear of falling making excuses and/or pretending things don't matter living with shame! It's time to restart my life. I'm working through the steps of this journey. I'm looking forward to a new beginning!

Wow, really cool. Unfortunately, my weight is more than it can show. Oh well, at some point I will be looking like the fat woman and then ----- the slim woman! Ta daa!!!

That's a twofer! Two for the price of one! How cool is that. Congratulations to you and hubby!!!

My name is Mardi. I am 65 years old, two daughters, 5 grandchildren. I have been married 34 years but it is not a particularly happy marriage. My husband is quite distant. I have a bachelors degree in business management and professional communications and a masters degree in educational technology. I recently retired from my last position and I have not decided what I will do with my life from now on. I love genealogy and plan to take courses and possibly learn enough to become a board certified professional genealogist. I have done workshops and seminars on various topics and would love to create some seminars on genealogy. I have been overweight, obese, and morbidly obese all of my life. At one point I was down to 142 but two years later I was back in the 200's. I have had both of my knees replaced and am in the early stages of diabetes. I also have sleep apnea. I really want to restart my life and, for the first time in my life, be thin! I don't even know what that means -- really. My support system consists of a good friend that is most encouraging and would do anything I need. My husband is supportive to a point but the first thing he did when he heard I was thinking about the surgery was find a book that someone wrote showing that they were totally against the surgery. Real supportive, huh? I have not told my daughters or anyone else. I don't want to fall on my face AGAIN. Not that I am going to fail, but I don't want to jinx myself. I am in the middle of the preliminary tests, etc. I do not have a date or anything at this point. I am excited, scared, overwhelmed at times, and at the same time looking at this as a huge opportunity. I have tremendous respect and admiration for everyone on this board who have succeeded in this journey. I only hope I can be one of them some day soon.

That is amazing. I'm just starting this journey. Hope I can have similar success. Congratulations.

Congratulations! Great success. I hope my story turns out as good as yours.

I can't comment on the outcome because I am also in the beginning stages of this journey. I am constantly second guessing myself wondering if I can mentally do this. Physically, I definitely need to do it but, mentally I'm so afraid I will fail. LivingFree!, I really appreciate your candor and information, especially since my story is close to yours. I have tried to meet with others in my area but no luck. I really need to sit down and have a conversation with someone. The board is VERY helpful but, nothing takes the place of a face to face meeting. I'm hoping I will be able to make that happen soon. LFK797, good luck with your journey. Keep posting here. I have found a great deal of support and information here.

Hi Livvsmum. I just read your entire blog. It is so inspiring. It was really great to see the good times and the bad times and how you got through them all. Thanks for the "real" experiences you shared. I am just starting this journey and have put it off for so many years. I'll revisit your blog again as I progress, for inspiration.

Amazing! You look fantastic! I'm sure you feel as great as you look. Glad to hear you are dealing with the emotional issues. I am so afraid of that. I don't even know where to start. Congratulations!!!!

Hello, I just turned 65 and just starting this journey. I have lots of appointments scheduled for the next two weeks. I'm in my second month of a three month supervised diet. I haven't done well on the diet, though. I am still wavering on the surgery, but I don't know why. Just scared, I guess. I have been obese and morbidly obese all my life. I am really tired of not being able to do things. I hope your journey goes well and you are able to meet your goal, whatever that is. Mardi

I was looking for some other options on protein shakes and came across this company. I have not tried the shakes yet but they sound great. I'm ordering one of the sample packs today.

You are all such inspirations. I am struggling with this decision. It makes so much sense given my weight. My question to you, especially those of you who have been way overweight for a very long time, is did you have any concerns about body image after weight loss? What I mean is, were you ever or are you now concerned about who you will be when you are thinner? I know this probably sounds crazy, but I am afraid I won't like myself. I have always been obese and morbidly obese. I don't know what it will look like to lose a lot of weight.

Oops! I forgot to add the link. Here it is. http://www.teraswhey.com/

I just wanted to thank all of you for your amazing support. I am just starting this journey, but have been thinking about it for a very long time. Just too chicken to go ahead with it until now. I have been on a lot of boards over the years and the general consensus on boards is that the people who have been on them for a while, the "senior" members, tend to be very intolerant of questions asked by new members. I have often got "it's already been asked, just search for ***** and you will find your answer. Or, here is a link to your answer. Or, did you read the FAQ? Of course they usually don't add "dummy" to their response, but you can usually feel that word when you read their response to you. I'm so thrilled with this board because I no matter what someone asks, or how often the question has been asked, members respond as though it is the first time they heard that question. How unique and supportive. It makes me WANT to come back again and again because I know I won't feel stupid or chastised for asking a question. I also won't have to spend countless hours researching and searching for answers to my questions because seasoned members won't make me feel stupid! Thank you all for your amazing support and caring. I will continue to read and, hopefully contribute my experiences to this board as I continue this journey to my new self. YOU are all AMAZING!!!