Gone4Now

I have two that come to mind. 1 - High school, waiting in the library for the period and day to end. It was all quiet and I shuffled my feet and my pants (fat thighs) made a swishing noise. A guy in the class (Travis, I still remember) yelled out, "Quick! Grab a harpoon! It's moving!!!" I tried to ignore it, but another girl slapped him on the arm and said, "You hurt her feelings! Look, now she's crying." And, damn it! I was! I hated that; everyone looking at me crying and me standing there praying the bell would ring RIGHT. NOW. 2 - I was an adult in my late 20's and was covering for the receptionist in our office. A wealthy client who ran a modeling agency walked in and mentioned about one of the girls (size 6 or something) walking by that "the girls in the office gets skinnier and skinnier" in a delighted tone. I tried to laugh it off and said, "I wish that would come my way." She looked down at me and said, "Well, it would dear, if you ever pushed yourself away from the table." Two situations I wish I could relive now that I have more self-esteem and less of a care of who I piss off.

I was thinking more and more about this...I have a lot of insecurities right now. I'm about to move in with him (this Sat) and I'm renting out my home - just stress, stress, stress.... I think this was just an outlet for me to release some of that. I'm scared that we won't work out - just because past relationships of 10 years, and the other long term for 6 years didn't work out. He's different (in 1.5 years, we've had maybe 2 fights, lasting about 10 minutes.) We're so good, and I keep "waiting for the other shoe to drop", if you know what I mean? So, when I saw this, I think the negative parts of me went AHA! SEE??? But, the logical part of me said, "Shut the hell up, you're an idiot." (He even had my fav flowers for me last night, since he was sorry I was upset by the pictures.) Ugg..I felt really stupid, then. And, ya'll helped me see that I was being silly - THANK YOU LBTers!!! You guys really are the best support I've had. From weight loss to other issues in my life that really are weight related. I'm an emotional eater, and last night I turned to food. A veggie tray!! I had two broccoli stalks and was done. Pre lapband, or even preLBT, I'd have turned to much, much worse "support".

Oh, I hate that. At work, I've found out that people who are married were fooling around with other coworkers. I guess I'm naive about that stuff, because I get so disappointed in them. It really changes how I feel about people. On the local radio station, they were having a discussion on whether or not celebrities personal lives effect how you view their movies, or them. I think it does, for me. Like Bill Murray and all the stuff that's come out about him and his wife. I'm not sure I view him the same now. Luckily for BF, admiring a couple of hot butts at the beach isn't along the same lines (for me, anyway)...close...but not quite that bad.

I sent him an email with the pictures attached, asking WTF? His answer was an honest one, with a side of "ooops" , so it's easy to forgive me. I'm not as insecure as I used to be, I guess. My initial reaction has lessoned a little bit and I'm not angry. Maybe just jealous...? The only time anyone would take a picture of me at the beach is if they're doing a "Save the Whales" epsiode on the Discovery Channel.

Damn logical answer that makes me feel as itty bitty as the bikinis!

People suck, Lauren. Ooops...sorry...I guess I have to be more specific - Some people suck, some of the time. This statement is not to include all people, as that may offend *some* people. Therefore, not ALL people suck, and all people do not suck ALL of the time. Egads, I hope I didn't offend people who suck, or they'll be pissy and post and then I'll have to scream. Ooh...I know! People who steal suck.

I'm having a hard time fighting my nasty side right now and need grown up advice! I had a roommate for several months and it was BAD, BAD, BAD....It ended when she left her bathroom with black mold growing in every drain, up the walls, in the sink. Gunk had clogged up the drains - it was disgusting. Even after asking her to clean it, she left it for me to do. She bounced checks, and I tried to work with her and at the end it the money situation was okay. But it took a while to get to "OK". I am moving soon, and on 4/1/08 I gave her 2 months notice (until 6/1/08) to leave. She asked if she could pay the last month's rent out of the deposit, and I agreed - however there was a difference in the deposit/rent and she still owed $80 and agreed to pay that on 5/15/08 - - which she said was her last day. On 5/15 she paid $60 and asked if she could leave a desk in my garage. I said yes she could - only until the first of June and I reminded her she still owed $20 - which she said she'd have in a "couple of days" and that was over a month ago. Fast forward through a lot of my cleaning her mess that I should have taken out of the deposit if I hadn't been stupid w/the last month's rent vs deposit deal, more hassle from her about her stuff and getting it out, and more angry words from me - to today when she emailed me today and said she's coming by on Friday to get her desk. The evil B-I-T-C-H in me wants to say NOPE. I know I should just let her come and go - though she said she doesn't have the money to give me and didn't even acknowledge that she's 2 weeks past due on when I said her stuff had to be out completely. I'm just so frustrated with her, and can't believe she's used me the way she has - of course, it's me that let her use me. I feel that people should always do the right thing, let things go..but I am the one that ends up used, out of money and frustrated because I let things go. I'm always letting things go and people get away with things that I think are wrong. I guess in the end, she'll get the fricken desk back - after all, what's garage space to me, when I have my crap in there, too? Has anyone ever been in this situation and actually said something like: No. You're time was up on June 1? I feel like I've done so many favors for her and been nice over and over, even though I wanted to strangle her. I think I know the answer, but: Am I complete whiny brat that should just let her come over and get it? (Although, that makes me grumpy, too, damn it! I have to spend MY time dealing with this crap, when it was poor planning on her part to not move it out when she had movers there and a key? Now I have to stay home to get this POS out????) ARRRGGG - can you tell I'm just really grumpy here over the whole thing? I think I'll end up just letting her come get it, but the big f'ing baby in me wants to say "NO!" And then go suck my thumb.

I agree that pot is better than alcohol. Unfortunately it’s illegal and my job does random drug testing. I am concerned about the smoking in front of kids, though. I’m also that way around drinking around kids. I’ve got neighbors who drink every fricken day and their kids just watch that. Same with weed – I wouldn’t see a problem with kids knowing about it, but if my babysitter decided to come over high I’d be pissed the same as I would be if they had a few beers beforehand. That said, I’m not sure why it’s illegal…anyone know? WTH – it grows natural!!! Oh, I would also like to add that it can be addicting…maybe not chemically, but neither is food – and yet I’m addicted to it. I have the same addiction to food that alcoholics have to alcohol. Behaviors can be modified by it and then we start craving the things that make us feel good. Again, not knocking it. All things in moderation, though – and not necessarily in front of kids. Whether you’re slapping around the wife, or getting so high you think your big toe is the funniest thing in the world. You got to have your wits about you sometimes, and getting high doesn’t help that.

Dew makes me gag! ...oh, am I lost again? Which thread am I in?

My voice is young sounding, and once upon a time when I had a home phone and solictors would call - twice I had someone ask if my "mommy and daddy" were home. I said, "I don't know...Would you like me to call them and find out for you, or do you want their number?" But, even aside from my voice, I look young too. I know in 10 years (hell, even now) I'm okay with that, but in my early 20's it was rough for people to think I was 16 years old.

Understandably - it's your right to chose, and I hope I'm not coming across as pushy when I say, GET THE BAND. :biggrin: Just kidding...kinda. Jokes aside, I have a friend who was always my "fat buddy". She wants the band, but doesn't have insurance for it. She's saving for a house, but I'm trying to encourage her to get the band. The thing is, with or without the band - if you're almost 300 pounds, then food WILL always be a major part of your life. Having the band has helped me control it. Pre-band, I'd eat all my plate and never even think about reaching for seconds, or thirds. The food itself wasn't a factor in my thoughts, just the results of eating it. Constantly, I'd moan about how fat I was, then eat and eat and eat. Now, I think about the food that goes in and, and I'm happy with the results. 70 pounds never would have come off if I hadn't done this. Is it a struggle? YES. Was it worth it for me? YES. Would I encourage it for others? YES. Is it for everyone? NO. The thing with my friend is that she keeps saying she'll diet and exercise - sounds easy, right? She'll get it off "on her own", she says. But it's a long road without help. And, that's all the band is - it's just help. Good luck at the doctor's...You'll know what's right, and if you've been here for a few months, you already know the ups and downs.

Okay, great NSV!!! It's put me back on track...my whole goal is to be "normal" and I'm so not there yet. My emotional habits are fighting me right now. But, reading this helps! :biggrin:

It sounds like you're too tight...can you go to any doctor, if not your own, to get an unfill? You may be causing damage that won't be able to be fixed... That's not a good way to argue your point. We're trying to believe you - and you obviously care or you wouldn't have posted anything in the first place. The band may not be working for you, as sometimes it doesn't - but you should go to the doctor. Your throat hurts? That's a serious thing, and I urge you very much to get it checked out. And, don't tell me to screw myself.

Everyone was asking / posting before I hit submit...sorry for the redundancy.

Okay, snowho...I'm attempting to believe you, but you gotta understand that it's difficult based on how you're coming across. Would you mind answering some band questions? Like: what type do you have? How many fills have you had? How many cc's? What do you eat - are you following the program? I haven't lost weight in 3 months and it's because I've rediscovered ice cream and refuse to give it up. It's an inner struggle with myself - NOT my band. Are you eating poorly and blaming the band? Have you had a check up with your doctor to discuss any of this? Thanks...

I dunno...don't feel foolish. Just because it's a year old, doesn't mean it's less funny to know that a$$hats like that are out there - and they post.

Bah! I'm not grown up!! She's 11 years old now, and I still don't know how to answer that question. :rolleyes2: At the time she asked, though, I opened my mouth to answer and "Holy crap!" came out. I am pretty cynical, and I'm working on it. I really WANT to be more open minded and believing, but I have a hard time digesting the media.

Thank you for your honesty! A lot of people don't admit that basic motives are selfish. (Not a bad selfish, just fact selfish). I've had debates with friends over friendship being selfish. I'm friends with people because of how I feel with them. Like the Happy Bunny says: It's all about me! :rolleyes2: Anyway, again I'm veering of course - but honesty is a big issue, and when I can't tell if someone's being honest, or if they've proven they're not, then I get frustrated and tend to give up. So, thank you to all who are posting here...it's put my motivation towards politics back, and I've become less frustrated because of the discussion points - from both sides. Overall, this thread has been one of the nicest I've read in R&R lately! :thumbup: And, that's the TRUTH!

Shouldn't this be in the complications / revisions forums?

Sorry...this statement is sorta out there, but all this reading reminds me of a question my daughter asked when she was little: "Mommy, what is truth?" It sounds so easy to know what truth is, but when you have to explain it to a 3 year old, it's hard. The "truth" is hard to identify unless you see it, breath it, live it. And, even then, is it truth or just your perception through your own circumstances? Does the true way mean that it happened to ONE person, or ONE family, or does truth have a percentage requirement? We all have our reasons and beliefs, but the TRUTH is hard to come by on either side. So many things are manipulated, twisted and distorted - no matter what media source it's coming from. If you read it, are you reading it the way the author intended? Even surveys (9 out of 10 people surveyed say [fill in the blank]) are distorted. Polls are useless. I can go out and survey 100 people in a high end shopping district and to find out that the economy really isn't that bad after all. OR, I can go to Goodwill and find out it is. ...or manipulate my poll for healthcare, energy, etc, etc. So, what is truth? And how do we find it? How do we know if either one of these candidates have OUR best interest at heart? They both want to be President, but why? I'd rather have that asked in a debate. Why do you want to be the next American President? Because they want to help America, or because they have another agenda? How can we know? That's my dilemma.

That was the best part of the small town. One time I decided to go visit my Grandmother & uncles and drove out there. I got there close to midnight, walked right in. The doors weren't locked - they never have locked their doors. I went upstairs, fell asleep and the next morning 1/2 their neighbors were over having Breakfast (a big ole KUNTRY breakfast). They'd seen my car and knew what time I'd come in. Again...kinda creepy, but it is comforting at the same time.

Posting just to say someone is FINALLY coming to look at my house today. It's been on the market for a month, and only one other person has looked at it. And, of course, today is the ONE DAY I didn't make my bed, or take the trash out. DAMN, DAMN, DAMN!!!

I love this idea! I like tying the punishment with the crime... Lauren, what did you end up doing?

My father grew up in a small town like that...I hated it. I grew up near DC and never had that problem. But, every time I went "back home" it was amazing how much they all knew about me. I could walk into a store and 1/2 of the people in there would walk up and ask about my dad. Small town kinda spook me out.

I get them a lot after sex, too. Never heard the pooper to the pink phrase! I'll definitely be throwing that one around. LOL