josygirl

Congrats Josephine - good on you. Love that name (wink wink). Don't see it very often on US boards

Hi Jonathon I've only posted a few times but you have sent me some messages which I really appreciated. I'm sorry things havn't worked out for you. I hope the new journey is successful

Went to a plastic surgery seminar. They had photos of a man before and after. In the before photos i thought they had "tucked it away for modesty" but when I saw the afters i realised that it was just hidden under all the fat. He had a much improved asset to show in the afters!! Good incentive for the men.

I do a lot of reading here but don't post much. I posted a few months back about bulimia and the band and got lots of positive advice. Unfortunately I was unable to follow it and the Bulimia took over my life. This is a warning to others, cause I'm sure there are some eating disorder people here. My band has slipped badly, the food is not going down. So all my fill is goine. Plus, i'm having to go cold turkey on the Bulimia so I don't do any further damage. Please , please , please look after your band. Don't do what I did.:embarassed:

Thanks everyone for your responses. At this stage it looks like the unfill is going to fix the slip so I don't have to have a further operation. I havn't told my surgeon about the Bulimia cause I figure he would be angry with me. The worst part is I lost most of my weight without the Bulimia and hardly PB'd at all. But when I got close to goal/maintenance I started eating all the food that i had been depriving myself of. Like Melissa said the Bulimia drags you in, like a siren call. And the PBing does give your thoughts a tug. Melissa I hope my message helps you to avoid the mistakes I made. My slippage is really bad - the barium is just sitting in my pouch and not going anywhere. I do see a therapist and she is helping me with this challenge. Josygirl

I think you have to be careful with this. I've had advice before on this board about making myself purge because it is similar to bulimia. Well let me tell you anorexics do the "chew and spit" routine. Its not going to damage the band obviously and is much better than what i have done at times. But it is an eating disordered behavious which you need to try and overcome .

I did alot of walking exercise when I was first banded. But just don't seem to be able to fit it in at the moment with work. Consequently i'm maintaining instead of losing. My Dr is a real stickler for exercise so i have to vaguely mention "exercise" when I see him. lol. I keep telling myself I will start next week but it doesn't seem to happen

Hey Does anyone know what they call it when you get your inner thighs done? Mine are awful and wrinkly. If I stretch out the skin they look ok. I'd love to have that done. But someone told me that you can end up being permanently stretched open in the vagina from this op which doesn't sound too good.

I've lost 101 pounds since my banding 8 months ago. The other day my doc suggested I go to this class on how to meet people, why men and women are different etc. She thought i was ready for it physically. At first I thought, wow, wouldn't it be great to meet someone. I've never had anyone really special in my life and I'm 40 years old. I let my mind wander and have little daydreams. Everytime I went somewhere I imagined being there with someone else. Then after one week I've just freaked out. The reality of meeting someone set in. How do I explain the port? I feel like such a freak. I've still got weight to lose - about another 25 pounds. My thighs are awful and stretched. I know they say you shouldn't get naked with someone unless you love them and if they love you it wouldn't matter. But, how does someone even begin to love you if you won't let them know anything about you? I've been bingeing this week just thinking about it. I feel really sad,:cry like I want to gain weight again so no-one has any expectations of me. Can anyone relate to this?

Does anyone find reading about people's experiences or talking about their own triggering? Last weekend I posted about bulimic type experiences before the band and how that effected me after the band. Since then I've been throwing up every night meal. My stomach feels really inflamed and I'm scared about doing damage. I'm supposed to be getting a fill next week but i'm worried it will be too much and i'll be having involuntary reflux. Why do I go down this track? I know it is wrong but i'm struggling here.

Hi Megan I was never asked about my eating habits before I had the band. Probably just as well cause i'm a terrible liar. I do have a counsellor but she is on holidays at the moment and I'm really struggling. I don't need a counsellor I need a security guard for my mouth!

For me I find it easier not to snack. When I snack i gradually eat more each day. I'm better off just having the 3 meals a day and going with that. I don't think there are any hard and fast rules - its what works for you.

To me the question is WHY am I fat? not why am i FAT?, I hate how I look, I hate being fat so why do I do this to myself? I've done well with the banding but i've had some work stress this week and my eating is out of control. I hate that I do this to myself. Guess everyone has their own individual battle. We have similarities to what we experience but we each fight our own battle. It's scary to be so alone with the food demon isn't it?

I really get gurgly when I drink diet coke. Its so embarassing at work.

Hi Kathy Thanks for the post. Don't worry I'm not offended or scared off. I still don't think I am really bulimic but maybe i'm deluding myself. I'm always disappointed by my shrink's response to issues that I raise. I don't know why I keep going back to her. She's great for medication but hopeless with talking about anything. Anyway the main thing I wanted to get across was if you have that tendency you need to get it sorted out before you get banded. Cause it has more implications than just the ones facing any bulimic. Plus, you get into this deception with your surgical team which makes the journey harder.

I've just got a word of caution about trying to gain weight to get to 40 BMI. I recently met someone who purposely gained weight to qualify for the operation. She then lost only about 14 pounds over 7 months after the operation. This was due to poor dietary advice and she has since changed to a new medical team and is losing successfully.

Thanks so much for the amazing messages. I feel a little glimmer of hope that I can do this. Admitting all my fears to a counsellor seems just as scary as dating ! lol. To go in there and say "well I hate this, and I hate this". Talk about making yourself vulnerable. It would be so much easier to turn off all the thoughts and just ignore the desire to be with someone like I always have. Thats what I've done in the past, whenever my mind goes down this track I get scared and just turn those wants and needs off. Gee, I wonder why I got so fat?? I guess in my heart I believe there are some great guys out there who are decent and loving. And I want to believe that they could like me. I know i'm a good, caring person who has lots of love to offer. I'm just having trouble getting past the physical stuff.

I didn't realise what I had done the first time. I got a fill after a week of purging. I asked for the fill because I was out of control with my eating. Then about a week later I started throwing up at night. I didn't really put the two together until i binged and purged again a month ago and got the same result. My dr just thought he had put in too much fill. Its funny you say seek professional advice. I tried telling my shrink this week that I was at risk of becoming bulimic. She made some inane comment about "I thought you weren't supposed to drink with food" and dismissed it. In other words if I wasn't full on into all the behaviours (drinking makes it easier to purge) then I wasn't at risk. I was trying to admit to concerns and get help before it got too bad but she wasn't listening. I don't want to admit to my surgeon cause I'm scared he'll be angry with me. I'm just hoping that the fright I've given myself and the problems i've experienced with slipping will be enough to stop me. I don't want to give up my band.

Wow - this is my first post here. But i've been reading for months! You really need to come to grips with this issue before you are banded. I would never say I was bulimic but I have certainly toyed with induced vomiting after bingeing at different stages in my life. I never got to the stage where I had to throw up every meal I ate which is why I never got thin with it. I don't PB as a result of having the band - 8 months now. BUT, i have induced vomiting after eating too much food. I've paid for this dearly. I had a slip back and got to the stage where I couldn't lie down at night without waking up vomiting. Had to get all my fill out and let it rest. I thought I had learnt my lesson and wouldn't do it again. But the last month has been a real struggle. I've binged and purged a few times - and I am suffering for it. I'm trying to do mushy food only to get everything to settle down again. I havn't admitted this to anyone, least of all my Dr. :nervous I'm hoping that i've learnt my lesson this time and I won't do it again. So the point of this whole message was, work really hard to resolve this before you get the band. Cause it does have an impact. Josy