Im that 1% kimteehee so I can definitely relate, but I promise you, it does get better. I had my surgery on 4/17/2014, went home and was fine for 2 weeks. Ended up in the Er, scar tissue wrapped around my intestines and completely shut it down (which is apparently odd since it usually takes months, not 2 weeks for scar tissue to form, 1%!) . Got surgery to fix that, was told everything was fine and I was going home tne next day. Woke up over a month later, told I pretty much died once, almost died quite a few times, had 2 more surgeries, my intestines apparently fell out at some point and I was in a coma and on life support for the last month. Well, imagine my surprise lol! I have an 8 year old who wasn't allowed in ICU to see me the whole time, my husband ended up in the hospital with an anxiety attack and my 19 year old had to run the house and take care of everything. I had to learn to walk, go to the bathroom, everything all over again (babies make it look easy lol). I completely understand the depression, the guilt, the "what the heck did I do to myself??" but you have to Let that go and realize you can't change it, so what do you do now?? You heal, you get better, you kick butt and you MAKE it worth it! I had to tell myself "I did not almost die for Nothing!!!" Stay positive and don't Let the depression consume you, or else all of this is for nothing.