Roostertail2

Hello everyone. My name is Ruth and I just received my insurance approval letter! So now waiting on Dr's office to call to schedule the surgery ( looking for August surgery date).

My story - I am 46 years old and have always struggled with my weight. I currently weigh 260lbs at 5'4. I have been lucky in the sense that my weight was always spread out evenly so I "got away" with being able to tell myself I wasnt obese. Well the truth hit me in the face when I finally made the decision to be honest with myself. I was always the biggest girl in the room and never had friends that I was able to swap clothes with. I learned to become the "funny" girl just so I had an "earned" spot in the group. I always am the first to point out that I am "a big girl" by saying things like - big girl is hungry, or dont mess with big girl, or using phrases like big girls need love too. I often tell my friends they need to eat more pie when they say they are cold...just saying anything that deflects from the fact that they may notice I am fat. As if they cant look at me and tell!
I also seem to think that if I wear tops that are at least 2 sizes too big that somehow people wont notice that I am fat. Hiding behind clothes that IN FACT make me look even bigger. Then there are all the health issues that seemed to creep up on me all at once. Suddenly my cabinet looks like my grandmothers did with all the different medications that I have to take. You name the ailment and I have a pill for it.

So last year I took a really good look at myself. I stood in front of the mirror and asked myself WHY. Why do I think it is OK to be 100+lbs overweight? Why do I think it is OK to make jokes about myself? Why do I not think I am worth being a healthier person who can wear a tighter shirt? I didnt have a good enough answer. So I started dieting AGAIN - but this time with the intention to not quit the first time I started sweating or had a muscle cramp. I dropped 26 lbs so far! But I know that I needed help so I looked into GB surgery and that brings me to today! I am scared - but ready to be the real me!!