DevilMayKare

Oh my--I can't do better than THAT! But Vines... I've been off the board a lot lately. When the hell did you get a tumor?? What thread can I search to read about this? I'd PM you to ask, but I'm probably not the only one wondering. Gosh girl, where is it? What exactly is it? You gonna have surgery, or what???

Oh gosh... I just don't know how to say this w/o sounding insufferable, but here goes... I remember learning about the Eye of the Needle when I SAW it in Jerusalem. I spent about a week in Israel in 1975. I even got to stay overnight in a nunnery deep within Old Jerusalem. It was quite an experience. And other than narrow streets and walls of the old city something that always stuck in my head was this incredible cheese the nuns made. I just can't believe that one of the things I remember about that experience is the food. Figures.

Oh Man--WOULD that God would TAKE ALL MY MONEY and just let me EAT!! How much of her money do you think Oprah would give to be able to eat whatever she wants? My guess is quite a bit of it. Some days all no doubt. But I'm probably talking off thread here... Ah, but how about this... if God makes us "rich" by putting us in a rich country with plenty to eat, perhaps FAT is just his BLESSING that we aren't appreciating properly. I think we ought to get the church to start preaching that. :roll:

I wouldn't say I regret it.... but I wouldn't say I would recommend it. I'm at one year today and my results have been mixed. If I have to have this removed due to slippage or errosion in the future I will probably be saying my regrets. I honestly don't know that bandsters 2-6 months out should be the source of your confirmation. I was a cheerleader at 4 months too. Too many of our long-term fellows are away from the board these days, but a poll of satisfaction versus regret might look a LOT different for those 2-3 years away from banding. THis is the first time I have given my current feelings about the band aloud. It's crummy to have to rain on someone's parade. I'd MUCH rather totally encourage you, but that wouldn't be honest. I bet I'm not the only one holding back on being negative (of course there are those we might wish to hold back their negativity a LITTLE! ) Whatever decision you make, I wish you success!

ALSO (sorry, I'm trying not to be too long-winded) I do NOT think wealth is BAD. There is absolutely no judgement as to the morality of being wealthy. My whole point is that it is not SCRIPTURAL. There are a lot times in our society (especially our political society) where the Bible is used to back up a particular point of view. There's a whole slate of beliefs of "The Christian Right" that I keep wondering where the SCRIPTURES are to support them. Just because it's not in the Bible does not make it right or wrong--it just makes it wrong to USE the Bible to suppport something that is not IN it. Need I say IMHO...

There is a world of difference between the Old and New Testament. There are just too many things supported in OT scripture that I think were set aside by Jesus. (One could certainly make a good case for polygamy using the OT). I would like to see a NT scripture where JESUS indicated monetary wealth was important to God. Sure doesn't seem like he rained down riches on the fisherman. Only person who made money off of Christianity in the NT was Judas. As an aside (just because it's interesting) not everyone knows that the "Eye of the Needle" Christ referred to is an actual GATE in Jerusalem. It's narrow and low (you can acutally visit it--although it is currently blocked-up). THe only way to get a camel through it was to take everything off its back and lead it thru ON ITS KNEES. Seriously, think about it. If Jesus wasn't just giving a poetic metaphore and this is the truth, how many BMW driving Christians are gettin into Heaven? As far as where this mentality started... I would say with the US Constitution. It seems like "the pursuit of happiness" has been translated into the pursuit (& right) of wealth. Certainly in the past generation the "Power of Positive Thinking" and Reverend Schuller have popularized the notion of wealth being a sign of faith and goodness. Schuller's teachings and entire persona are very different from someone like Billy Graham. Hope no one takes this all personally. It's just a discussion. I have been deeply involved in fundamentalist Christianity in the past (went to missionary school and spent a summer smuggling Bibles into the, then, USSR) and know the Bible well. That being said, I do not now consider myself a "Christian" although I deeply love and thank God everyday.

ANd one other thing--while I'm in such a "laying it all out there" mood-- you said he can't buy you dinner? But does he make you feel loved and sexy and can he give you an orgasm? Who buys dinner just isn't that important. Methinks you might rethink your priorities. And if you decide you don't want him--SEND HIM MY WAY! A guy who can FIX THINGS? Are you kidding? I'd buy him all the dinners he wanted!! (LOL) Of course, if he wants children the deal's off.

Wow. You're in a tough spot I'll Succeed. I'm not sure if it's wise for me to put what entered my head when I read this post, but here goes... You're 39 and want kids? You've found a man you love who (I assume) wants to have children with you, but you want him to be able to support you and the children... Forgive me if it sounds harsh, but I think at this point you might need to lower your expectations a bit. If you want children you don't have a lot of time to waste at 39 and the chances of meeting someone who has ALL the qualities you want are slim to middlin. Even if you DO there is absolutely no guarrantee that the man who wanted you to stay home will keep feeling that way or that you might not end up divorced supporting your family anyway. There certainly are a LOT of us who ended up that way. It's hard, but worth it. I think you'd be hard pressed to find someone whose children are grown that did not think it was worth it however hard it was--with or without a husband, let alone one who is working AND willing to support you. I had some pretty financially grim and difficult years but I would do anything, anything, ANYTHING to have the wonderful grown sons (18 & 22) I do now. If you love the guy and he can fix things... he isn't a liar, cheat and will change diapers, quit lusting after that Ozzie and Harriet world and work with what you have. If you want them, MAKE BABIES while you still can. Or you could wait and pray for God to bring someone "perfect" your way. I don't remember Jesus being so concerned about people living in comfort tho. I realize the current prevailing brand of "social Christianity" in our country today seems to teach that faith breeds prosperity, but I just haven't seen that example in scripture--quite the opposite, in fact. In the New Testament there is very little emphasis put on wealth (certainly very little emphasis of the POSITIVE sort) and much emphasis put on faith and on the loveliness of children. After all, theirs is the kingdom of Heaven. That's just my ten cents.

Wow, I didn't realize this was an actual pursuit of some people. Maybe you all have heard of this before, but in case you haven't here's an excellent article: http://members.aol.com/intwg/trolls.htm Hopefully, you can click there. If that doesn't work I'll C&V it.

DeLarla, I don't see why Wheetsin should get an attorney and have to pay some of her settlement out to him/her when there has been no sign whatsoever that her family won't be adequately compensated. If it looks like they aren't going to be treated fairly then absolutely, I agree, fight it. If it requires a lawyer then get one, but I don't see why that should be an automatic assumption. I do agree they should document everything. As far as her Insurance company covering the damages, IF they do, then THEY will subrogate with THEIR lawyers (and foot the bill) that IS what they're there for. Admittedly my opinion is biased. As is yours of course, being a paralegal...

So Wheetsin, How's the claim going? Did they offer you a payout and are you happy with it? Of course, the injury settlement will take a lot longer. I just got a letter from my company making sure the I wasn't out of pocket any $ for my accident that happened 12/5. I'm happy to see they asked, but unfortunately it's old news for me since that's 3 accidents ago. :faint:

Only if I'm getting a massage. Really, some friends and I went to a day spa once and we all got massages. There was one of those tabletop fountains trickling in the room and half-way thru the 1-hour massage I just HAD to interrupt it to go pee!! Luckily it wasn't a 90-minute massage or I would have had to go again! :rolleyes

That is a gorgeous hibiscus Paula! Do you have any problems with white flies where you live? Hibiscus are notorious for attracting them in CA. I have a good "fix" for that if anyone has a whitefly problem. I'll attach our pond pics. It's not a beautiful, natural looking pond like some of the others here. We made it out of leftover stone and whatever we could find. Still have to grow something up over the visible tube. I was so proud when my son Arthur found an old, very-worn piece of telephone pole and used it to make the fountain gulley. He's inherited my knack for creating out of rubish!

Gosh, I've used Cocoa mulch for YEARS and always had dogs--and even babysat dogs. Never had any problem with it. I probably wouldn't have used it if I'd seen this warning. BUt I dunno... I belonged to a large Organic Gardening club for years and many of those people use cocoa mulch and they are REALLY into their dogs. (Many of them even make their own dog food because don't think the name brands are healthy enough.) I have never heard of this danger before & you'd think I would have. But it sure DOES smell like chocolate. If I have one complaint about cocoa mulch it's that it makes me want to fix a steaming cup of cocoa-- with marshmallows.

The National Geographic site has the best wallpapers! I usually end up changing mine every month or so because they have such interesting pics. They've got some great spring wallpapers to choose from this month. See the pretty pictures at: http://www.nationalgeographic.com/photography/galleries/spring/photo6.html

True. They are usually separate. It's not unusual for a BI settlement to take months.

Ow COM ON DeAnn! Fess up--you PHOTOTSHOPED that green in, didn't you??? That's the most beautiful lawn I've ever seen!! Do you have golfers knocking on your door begging to take a putt?

Medpay is handled differently in different states and there are different ways to have this coverage on a policy. For instance, Mercury offers Medical coverage from $1,000 - $5,000 with OR WITHOUT reimbursement. I've always found this very confusing. The reimbursement is to the company, not to you. So let's say you have $5,000 W/Reimbursement. That means you and your passengers are covered from the first dollar up to $5,000 for your medical expenses immediately--but when expenses are later paid either by the other insurer or by your health insurance you must reimburse what your company paid out. If you have $5,000 WITHOUT Reimbursement and another company ends up covering those expenses you still get to keep whatever was paid out (up to the coverage limit). At least in CA. (Confusing, isn't it?) Insurance companies have to go thru state approval for every coverage and to change any policy coverage and it's a giant hassle. Mercury only writes up to $5,000 med. I think Allstate writes up to $10,000 and State Farm $25,000. State Farm is usually licensed to write more than almost any other company because they are SO big (usually more expensive too). Your auto insurance is not meant to take the place of health insurance (historically built to cover Health Ins deductible)--but if you do not have good health coverage you should have your medpay as high as possible. Even tho I have Kaiser and have no deductible I have my medpay at $5,000 because... well, rightly so, I am paranoid about such things. I also have a low deductible because between my age and good (used to be, anyway) record it doesn't cost much to have $250 collision deductible--however on my 18-yr-old son's car I have $1,000. Even Reader's Digest had an article about raising your deductible to save $. That really does not make sense (IMO!) unless you have a bad record or drive a $70,000 Porsche or some other expensive to insure car. About Insurance 101, Wheetsin... if only it existed for claims! The claims process varies so much from state to state and company to company it would be hard to know as much as you know now. Agents in CA have to take a course and test to become so and 40 hours of Insurance Continuing Education credits bi-annually, but I couldn't even FIND a course on claims. I've considered developing a workshop for Mercury agents specifically on the claims process because of being involved in 5 accidents the last years (3 of my own--2 of my sons' [who both totalled cars]) I'm about as educated in this process as one can get without actually being an adjuster. Hope I don't sound like too much of a know-it-all. I just know there are a lot of misconceptions about insurance and I'd really like people to be covered the way they should be. My father was an Insurance agent and I spent most of my life AVOIDING becoming one. In fact, I was a graphic designer for 12 years until I got dragged into the family business. I was horrified to discover what a natural I was at it! But part of that comes from doing other vocations for years and years and not thinking like someone in the business, so it wasn't that long ago alot of this was confusing to me. And then there's having teenagers, which can educate one about insurance really fast!!

Yeah, but it would be very unusual for them to have the police report already. You can go down to the police station and get a copy faster than it is sent to the insurance company. Police reports vary from CITY TO CITY! In Irvine you can usually get it w/i a day, in Santa Ana it often isn't accessible for a week and SOME police departments are set up so they give you a copy right at the scene. I know you want it resolved quickly WHeetsin, but you're going to have to give it some time. Try to remember ultimately the payout and settlement AMOUNTS are more important than how quickly you get them. And remember, all adjusters have dozens of claimants they are dealing with at the same time and everyone wants their situation resolved quickly. It's a horrible job. Most companies have trouble keeping adjusters because it's so stressful they end up leaving. Are you going thru your own company or direct to Allstate?

Okay, this is stupid, really stupid and I know it, but I am just SOOO SAD!! I realized just how despairing I am when I opened up the LAST PTA letter from my son's high school and found myself balling my eyes out! Arthur, my youngest, will be going away to college in Santa Cruz in September. My oldest will be graduating from there in June and looks like he'll have a job in Sacramento (I'm in SoCal). When Arthur got accepted at UCSC I felt so gratified that I'd succeeded in getting both my kids on their way. I worked very hard at being a good mother. (Despite all the guilt of divorcing their father.) But now that my mothering years are really over... NOW what? I'm so lucky in so many ways, I love my house and my garden but I am not looking forward to living here all by myself. I haven't dated for over a year. I don't care what anyone says, in The OC it is damn hard to put yourself thru the rejection an overweight middle-aged woman has to go thru to meet someone compatible. I've never felt so lonely and without purpose in my life. Any single moms been thru this and have you any advice? I know, Boo Hoo, poor me, poor me... guess I need some REAL problems to get my head on straight. :violin: (Thanks for letting me vent.)

Yep, that's exactly what I'm afraid of. I've got a few more months here, but I guess my next project is FINDING a project that interests me. Thanks for sharing your experience Kat and letting me know there's hope. Jenna... good idea, but I'm not up for THAT! I have a friend who's taken in foster kids several times and oh boy is that difficult. She just fell in love with a girl she had 4 years and was getting her on her way to womanhood when the girl's ex-drug addict father decided he wanted her back and she HAD (even tho she sure didn't want to) to go live with him. What a heartbreak. It isn't the kids I couldn't handle--it's the kids' parents. And the whole beurocracy... whoa nellie! I sure admire people who CAN contribute like that.

I would imagine it really varies. If it was a 3-day weekend, raining or something else going on that would generate more accidents it will take longer, assuming none of those factors are present my experience would be 5-10 days. When my son's car was totalled we got the payoff offer at about the 8th day. We knew it was totalled before that because that was the mechanic's opinion. Not sure how this works among companies, but with Mercury when there is a total it goes to a whole different department for them to determine the payoff amount. As I told you I was very happy with the amt Mercury paid us (they even paid the sales tax since my son had had the car less than a year). What I was NOT happy with was how LONG it took for them to send us a check. Based on my clients' experiences--barring any snafus--it takes about 3 weeks to get a check. For some reason it took TWO MONTHS for our check to come. I didn't call and ask about this sooner because I was trying my best not to be an impatient & demanding claiment. Even tho it was the other party's fault in my son's accident I went thru my insurance because I'm not impressed with the company that the other person is with (won't name them). If he had been hit by someone who was with State Farm I probably would have gone thru them directly because of their good service reputation. Hopefully you took your lienholder off the policy and off your registration when you paid them off. This sometimes complicates matters. If it's a total you will need to sign & mail the pink slip to the insurer. Be sure to send this certified mail. And keep a copy of everything you sign and send back as well as the date you sent it. That is just strange that the guy would lie about the number of people injured. It's not like it wouldn't be a matter of record. Of course his company would find out the facts. I can't imagine why he would do that. Hopefully he has plenty of BI/PD coverage.

Here's a site that will give you good info about safe cars. It's a really good place to help you see how the car you're thinking of did in important crash tests. http://www.nhtsa.dot.gov/cars/testing/ncap/pages/ResourcesLinksBSC.htm

That's just the problem... I don't HAVE any dreams! I've already accomplished the ones I did have. Including the main goal, which was raising my sons to fine, young men who will contribute to the world. Believe me I do feel very blessed by that--and proud of myself for all the times I did what was right for them, even when it was very difficult. I know they'll always need their mother, but they could make it just fine without me now. Really, I'm a strong, proactive person. If I had a vision, I would go for it. Just do NOT have one! This depression seems ridiculous even to me, but most of you are younger (I'm 50) and may find yourself at this place someday. There's nowhere else I can talk about this because most of my friends are still struggling w/ their teens--or with sick parents and I would be ashamed to even voice this self-absorbing complaint. In fact, I DO feel ashamed. So NOW I'm rudderless, lonely AND guilty! :faint: MV, "The OC" is Orange County, California. There's an insipid TV by the name-- and parts of it are all too real.

Wow. No matter what it cost, I'm so glad you got that custom Volvo! I'm so glad your DH & friends weren't in a smaller car (like mine!). I waited about two weeks for my car model to become available with side as well as front airbags. But if I had to do it over I'd get a bigger car and as soon as I can absorb the loss I will. Wheetsin, would you mind if I save a copy of your damaged car? I've been thinking about making a gallery of accidents for our website. Yours would be fist place so far. I'll have to dig out the pic of what my older son did to my mom's Lincoln (total) it was impressive because he hydroplaned into a side frwy rail in the rain and besides the twisted metal it is COVERED with MUD.