DevilMayKare

Sounds like you're TOO nice to me! Seriously, I wonder if that student would bother you like that if you'd been a male teacher? In my years of college the men were often much tougher than the women--and they didn't suffer a moment of guilt about it! Jack's reply is a typical male prof attitude and, personally, I think it's a good one. I had one prof at UCSB that had the lecture hall doors LOCKED on the exact hour class started. You better believe no one was showing up late to his lectures by a week into the quarter. As people disruptively trickled in 5-10-20 and even halfway thru other classes I found myself wishing more instructors followed his example. To the current distressed student on here (sorry, I'll lose this if I go back to find your name)... please note most of us responding have been college students. We know the stress you're under. Your entire self-worth should no more be dependent on your grades than on your weight. I'm not saying they're not important but there are many things more important in life. I mean this sincerely, please try to keep your true priorities in mind. My ex graduated from Caltech in the 70's when there were THREE suicides on campus in ONE year. Some very brilliant young minds were literally destroyed by their emotions and inability to cope with the stress of their education. Part of being young is feeling like misery you're feeling is going to last forever. A big advantage of age is knowing things WILL change. That Biology test you wanted to kill yourself over in your past is relagated to a little blip along the way in your future. Failures are there to LEARN from. That's all they are--learning experiences. Your friends, your family, your health and your ability to cope with life's tragedies (& believe me, there will be bigger ones than a bad grade) are what really matter.

Another thing my 18-year old self would be surprised to find out is how LITTLE I know now since she knew EVERYTHING then. Whatever her judgement of me now I would advise her to express nothing but love and compassion because, truly, she's gonna need it.

My 18-yr-old self would be surprised that I really DO care about all the damage I did getting those great tans of my youth! When cautioned about those deep-rose, baby oil burns I specifically remember thinking, "What'll I care if I have wrinkles when I'm 50?" DOH!

How about making a trade with yourself? Figure out the calorie burn in an hour of aerobic exercise and then eat that amount? Like half-hour run alternating w/ 1 hour fast walk equals a small apple & 6 oz of canned salmon. That way you'll get not only the nutrition but the benefit aerobic exercise has on fighting depression.

Yeah, that's getting posted on the fridge!

I always told my sons that school--and even more certainly college--is about getting an education for LIFE and lots of what life is about is learning to play the game. Doing the busywork, paperwork, showing up on time and doing whatever--and jumping thru whatever hoops--that particular teacher requires to get a good grade is as much of what you're learning as the subject matter. Anyone who's been thru college knows it's sad but true that with some teachers it's even MORE about the stupid stuff than the subject matter. Over the years when my kids have complained about the teacher assigning something "stupid" they always get my lecture on "You think that seems crazy, wait until the REAL world!" I would suggest that HANDLING STRESS PROPERLY is very much part of what that young woman should be learning. Giving in to her pleas just teaches her that it WORKS and she will have no qualms about harassing other people in life that way. By giving her the grade on demand the teacher feels abused and she has no reason not to abuse again. Much better to nicely point out that her grade will be posted along with everyone elses at your stated schedule & you were throwing in the lesson on patience for free. BTW, my oldest graduated w/ honors from UCSC last June and is a "fellow" (basically, a paid intern) for a state assemblyman in Sacramento. He's helping to prepare and pass state legislation where his education in "learning to play the game" will serve him well!

Once again, Jack gets the prize for BEST answer!

So are you saying she shouldn't post her problems & feelings so you don't have more doubts?? That does seem to be the consensus among a lot of new and "thinking about it" bandsters. I understand you want to go into this with as much confidence as possible and would just as soon only hear success. Truthfully, that was my attitude two years ago and I regret it now.

Oh Tricia, I'm so sorry for your loss. Please try not to beat yourself up about this. I hope your family isn't blaming you & I hope you are remembering you only wanted the best for your cousin. There are risks to ANY surgery--and certainly many to being overweight. My heart goes out to you.

Good books all. I was really glad I'd read "The Princes of Ireland" when I went there last year. It was nice to have some understanding of the historical political forces that shaped that county. I like King and Koontz, but I can't read them anymore because they keep me up checking under the bed at night! My favoirite author lately is Bryce Courtenay. The only book of his I could find in CA bookstores is "The Power of One," but he has half a dozen others that are wonderful and can be ordered on Amazon. Just got the latest Isabelle Allende I'm looking forward to.

I think the question was if any of us have regrets. Did the poster only want "No regrets" answers? I think you can see from this thread why many who have regrets don't post them. It's really a shame how this has turned into personal attacks. I really don't want to go into pages of why this is something I wish I'd never done, but the statement above is worth noting. If I had had any idea that I would still feel so hungry after the band (even while still feeling that wonderful esophgeal choke) I would never have done it. If I still feel this head hunger how is this different from Weight Watchers or any other diet??? As with many diets I did really well at first. I went from 220 to 160 from 6/05 to 11/05. And now I'm back up to 220. I am perfectly willing to admit that I am a BIG, FAT FAILURE. I don't blame the band. Please believe I am heaped with more self-blame (& hatred) than anyone throwing stones can imagine. I have failed. It is MY fault--again, again, again, as it ALWAYS has been. THe band has simply reinforced what I already knew. I just really did not need to pay $8,000 to know it yet again. I'm sorry if my negativity upsets you. It upsets me too. Instead of getting on a train to TJ I feel like standing in front of one right now.

Wow, that's funny. I would say exactly the opposite! I was extremely happy and VERY active on this board the first 6-8 months of my band. When I started losing that success other than very few (less than a dozen) times did I visit or post on the board because I DIDN'T want to rain on anyone's parade. I've just been feeling a little guilty lately not to express any misgivings or warnings so I logged on again. But I'm done for now. You obviously don't want to hear it and I really do sincerely hope for you that you are one of the lucky ones.

Yeah, I'm pretty gumptionless lately. Thank you for remembering when I was in a better frame of mind. It's funny how when you're feeling like a failure you can't remember feeling any other way. I think it's not just the weight, but the empty-nest syndrome I've got going on. One son graduated and onto his career far away and the other off to college. I'm pretty independent, but this is too much aloneness even for me. food is such a reliable companion. Sorry to hijack this thread.

Uh yes. Please read some of the threads on lapband complications and life after band removal. Do a search for "slippage" and "erosion." It does seem to work for some people so I hate to discourage anyone, but it is SURGERY and it is EXPENSIVE so please be aware of the negative experiences many have had.

And I would have said the EXACT SAME THING 1-2-3-4-5-6-7, even 8 months out. In fact if I searched the archives I could probably find messages where I said something like that. Two and a half years later I am not so enthusiastic. My initial success has turned into yet another failure. Asking newly banded people if they regret their decision is like asking newlyweds if they regret getting married. Get out the salt.

What doctor is your sister going to Kathy? If it's Ortiz, maybe I could schedule an endo at the same time you're here. I think you live out of state, don't you? I'm about 2 hours from TJ (hour north of San Diego) if you need a place to stay. I've got two empty rooms & beds. We could all take the train down together. Even tho I've done it 3x before, for some reason I just feel afraid to go down to TJ by myself. I've had 4 car accidents this year (1 my fault) and I just seem to have lost my optimistic spirit.

I think that's my point. Statistically, the people who are still around are going to be those more successful. I don't think there have been enough people banded long enough worldwide to actually SEE the grand scheme of things here. Sorry I'm so negative Jess. That's why I don't hang out at LBT much anymore. I haven't had much success and the whole thing does make me anxious. (And guess what THAT makes me want to do?) I guess now I'm feeling the regret of getting this in TJ. It wasn't so hard to get it done all by myself, but an emergency could really be a problem. I'm divorced and my sons are far away at college, my family doesn't even know about the band and I really don't have any close friends nearby I could ask to drive me to Tia Juana (2 hours away). If a real emergency came up I'm not really sure what I'd do.

I think you should check out the "Complications" and "Life after the Band" sections of this forum. I think you can learn more about regrets from reading older threads than asking the question anew because those who have regrets tend not to stay on the forum. I have seen people ask this MANY times, but please understand that human nature is such that those who are enthusiastic at this time are the most likely to answer. And please, when someone has "No regrets" and has only been banded a year or so, take that into consideration.

Wow, I had no idea when I wrote the previous message that the text I was referred to was months old! Guess wisdome is timeless.

Wow Kathy, That was SO GOOD! I'm gonna print it out & post it on my board to remind myself to use more tools to increase capacity!

I think this poll is really flawed. There are a lot of people who have eroded in the past on this board that won't see this poll to respond. Some stick around, but most people who've lost their bands spend much less time here--if any. I just haven't seen enough info about people 2+ years to say this band is a good thing for life. A couple of very positive bandsters (such as Michelle) who followed the quidelines still eroded after 2 years so I just don't believe your doctor's opinion that "it is rare." And even IF erosion is rare for those "following all the guidelines" how many people who were so bad at dieting that they had to get a lapband ALWAYS have the ability to follow the guidelines?? I'm sure there are a few, but I bet plenty of us fall off the wagon & engage in overeating at times. If I knew then what I know now I certainly would not have gotten the lapband 2 years ago. I'm not eroded at this time, but feel like a ticking timebomb.

Oh Muggle, I am so sorry to hear about your struggle. You are far from alone in your experience with the band (the failure of it, specifically). There are many of us. Unfortunately we don't hang out much here. At least I don't. It seems to work for some people and I don't want to rain on anyone's parade or discourage someone from something that might be their big hope. This never feeling full was a surprise to me also. I'm not at the same depressive place you are, but it's not hard at all for me to imagine. My heart goes out to you.

The O-ring investigation is gone into in great detail in a book by Ralph Leighton about the Nobel prize winning physicist Richard Feynman titled, "What Do You Care What Other People Think?: Further Adventures of a Curious Character." It's an excellent book as is the first book about Feynman called: "Surely You're Joking Mr Feynman." Richard Feynman was on the government's investigative commission on the shuttle tragedy and silenced a whole auditorium of mucky-mucks debating the cause when from the stage he asked for a glass of ice Water. He proceded to drop an O-ring into it-- then fished the ring out & held it up a few moments later... cracked clear through. True story. Have any of you read those books? I think they should be required reading for every high school student. There are 3 really good books about Feynman. He, of course, wrote about a dozen books about Physics but I could never understand any of those.

That is EXACTLY what I was thinking. Man--look at those EYES! Cleopatra would be envious. I'm curious Telly, did you check out Dr Quiroz in TJ? That's who Muffinbirdie (hasn't been here for awhile, but she's pretty impressive) went to for a bodylift and he works a lot w/ Dr Otiz pts. He seemed like a good choice to me just because he can install a low-profile port at the same time. Did your surgeon do that? I was really hoping to be able to get a TT or lift by now, but unfortunately I haven't been losing lately. Maybe you'll inspire me! Just how much of a pain is that compression garment? And what about bathing? And, uh... other things?

The thing that works like a charm for me is yogurt. One low-cal (I like the Yoplait "Whips") yogurt a day provides enough beneficial bacteria to keep away that yukky taste and breath.