DevilMayKare

So sorry for your loss Keri. It is so hard to say goodbye to people we love and I know you'll miss her. I was very close to my grandmother as well. She was someone I could ALWAYS count on to be on my side. She instilled my love of gardening when I used to spend part of the summer with her (just to get away from my mom who drove me crazy in my teen years). My grandmother LOVED "Tabu" perfume. She used to douse herself with it. That was the only thing of hers I took from her house after she died. I've had that bottle over 10 years now and every now and then I open it just to smell Grandma and it brings back a rush of memories. I know you'll have many sweet memories of her to look back on. Be good to yourself... baby yourself with long baths and good music. Don't beat yourself up for eating but do try to get that fill. You are so close to the 200 mark and I think that's a huge mental milestone. You'll be so proud of yourself when you get there. I think you're wise to avoid the scales. I've stayed away from them this week too while I've been going thru this trauma w/ my dad. I did just get a fill tho, so serious pigging out is not an option. It's a good idea to get the fill asap--but give yourself a couple weeks (as long as it takes, really) to get on the scale. And do NOT beat yourself up, no matter what they say.

"Wise"...! wow, thanks! I've always wanted to be wise. Guess it goes w/ gettin old, uh?

I think you make a really good and important point here Alexandra. Not only do we all deal with it differently--we deal with it differently at different times. What has worked for me at one time, may not work at another time. I think the key is to keep TRYING AND TRYING AND TRYING until you hit on something that works for YOU. And if it stops working--try something else. We are fighting a very fundamental SURVIVAL mechanism here. For thousands of years human beings had to work very hard to not starve and a big part of our physiology and psychology is geared to keep us from starving--in other words to make us fat. I honestly believe what we think of as "Failure" (obesity) is really just the flip side of our SUCCESS at survival. Since in our modern times we don't have to work hard to eat (or physically work for hardly anything) we have to CONSIOUSLY OVERCOME this mechanism. This--literal--"mind over matter" takes an enormous feat of effort. In fact, it's even "mind over mind!" I took a physiology class years ago and the teacher was really into how the brain worked. She showed us the exact place in the brain that controls appetite. When you take diet pills the activity in this area is suppressed...but after 3-6 weeks of taking diet drugs it actually RE-ROUTES ITSELF!! Appetite is so important to the human body the the brain will literally re-wire itself to keep it strong. So this is alot to overcome. It just may be that your self-sabotoge is your self-survival kicking in big time. You are not a failure at losing weight--you are a SUCCESS at NOT STARVING. Don't kid yourself that it is--or ever is going to be easy to overcome. You can do it, but you have to use every tool in the book to overcome your own success. I also think this in one reason exercise is SO important. Our bodies were meant to work hard physically. It seems to me that I lose much better when I am exercising enough to burn off calories. If I burn more, I can eat more and so my body doesn't kick into the starvation mode. Does that make sense?

Well, after making & cancelling 2 fill apointments over the last few months I, finally got my butt down to Dr O's in TJ and got a fill. It was a very relaxed atmosphere and I was talking to the nutritionist and another pt when Dr Ortiz came out, sat down and started visiting with us. We of course peppered him w/ questions and he asked us about our experiences. One of the the things he said that really shocked me was he said he doesn't think aspirin is a problem and that the band is outside the stomack so NSAIDS don't affect it. Honestly, it never made sense to me that medicines would make the band slip but it's something taken as gospel on this forum. I'm not suggesting that anyone start taking NSAIDS, or not follow their docs advice, I'm just letting you know a very experienced surgeon doesn't agree with this. And he said he's working on a paper about erosion. I'm going to email him about when and where we could all read this. So anyway, after about 45 minutes of a very nice visit, Dr O looks at me and says, "So! You ready for your fill?" I thought Dr Martinez does the fills so I didn't realize Dr O was just shooting the breeze with us for the heck of it while waiting for me. Kinda cool to have such a relaxed and friendly doc. Can you IMAGINE a doctor in the US sitting in his waiting room visiting w/ patients??? Anyway had the fill (2cc) and while sitting there in the waiting room sipping Water to make sure the fill wasn't too much after my phone rang and I picked it up to be informed by my secretary (one of only 4 people close to me--none of them my parents who knows about my banding) that my father went to the ER that morning and was now in the CCU at Hoag Hospital. Pauline (my sec) is the only one who didn't just think I was taking the day off for fun. So here I am 3 hours from the hospital in OC... and my only sibling is in Hawaii on his Honeymoon. So that was a loooooooong taxi ride to the Amtrak station and the longest train ride you can imagine. I had to call & leave a msg in CCU for my mom that I'd gone down to San Diego for the day and would be at the hospital in a few hours. Sitting on the train I ended up calling the High School and asking them to tell my 17-yr old to go over and sit in the ICU w/ his grandmother. I really didn't want my mom to be alone. Anyway, Pop has an embolism in his arterial artery down in his gut. They are still deciding if he need to have the "long" (5-6 hours) surgery versus the "SHORT" surgery (3 hours). He's 78 so any surgery is of course serious. The good part (if there is such a thing) is that my parents were leaving Wednesday (day after tommorow!) for a 12 day trip to CHINA! Thank God this happened before they left. Believe me I would be eating every thing in sight if that were an option. It is not. The last thing I need is to deal w/ a PB or some band-related problem when I have to be up for whatever is ahead. Sorry for rambling. Not feeling too coherent right now--but full of nervous energy. I'm going back to the hospital now. Send your good thoughts and prayers this way. Thanks for being there guys!

Just got my first fill Monday--2.0cc. PLENTY of restriction. This ougta last me awhile. Thanksgiving is going to be interesting as no one in my family knows. Luckily they're all talkers so they won't notice how little I'm eating... unless I blow it and have a PB.

THANK YOU EVERYONE! You're the best! My father is doing well. After not letting him eat or drink for 3 days they finally operated yesterday. It's really a pretty cool operation. The reason it took so long to have it (I finally found out) was because all the info from the CT scans had to be processed into 3-d, sent to this company that custom makes these shunts to fit exactly, and then the device had to be shipped to the hospital. It's the abdominal aorta--about 8" long. The doctor said that normally this artery is about 2.5 centimenters in diameter and it's likely to rupture when it's twice that. My father's was 7.5, so it was just a matter of time. *Whew* thank God they didn't get to China! He'll probably be in the hospital a few more days and then on the road to recovery. I'm not liking this phase of my midlife. When your parents are in their 70's everything's serious!

Well, as you know, I had my first fill on Monday. *Whew* so THIS is what REEEESTRICTION is! How do you dry heave w/ all that slime? This sliming stuf is BIZzare! My barf bowl lives on my passenger seat now. Dr O gave me 2cc's right off the bat. I think I would have been happy w/ 1.5, but there's no doubt I'll lose faster w/ this. You know walking counts Crystal. And it seems to be good for PBing. Walking is my main exercise. I guess I should get myself out to the gym just for a little variety. Anyway, I'm sorry about your "session." Those are a bitch. Are your eyes all red?

Well, I agree. I don't count calories on a daily basis. Certainly I've done it enough to know my range tho. Every now and then I sit down and add up a day just to see where I am. I tend to eat pretty boring so it's easy to remember the cal count of the same things. Just try to stay in a range. It's good to check yourself now and then, but you know my biggest motto is, DO WHAT WORKS--for YOU. The thing about exercising for me on a 5 day (minimum) basis is that I so often find once I start that I go longer than the time I intended. The hardest part always is getting out the door. Oh--and I absolutely walk longer and faster when I have music so I do suggest you use your walkman, or Ipod, or whatever. But, don't sweat the calories. Stay reasonable. Stay sane. I don't think the world is ready for an insane Vinesqueen.

They postponed surgery until tomorrow. Long hours at the hospital today. I'm sure most of you know the routine. Not sure how this will affect my weightloss. I can't eat much, but sucked thru two packs of lifesavers. I'm not going to stress myself out with weighing this week. Thank you for being there. I really can feel your love reaching out & it's very appreciated.

My band is great and changed my life because it has led me this forum where i have been able to share in and share with the nicest, wisest and most caring group of people I have ever met--or not met. Really, even when I don't have time to log on it encourages and supports me to know you all are here!

I wasn't really afraid. Honestly as I sat on the Amtrak traveling to TJ, all by myself with no one knowing, I felt in awe of my bravery or absolute stupidity. Desperation sometimes clarifies the options. Hey--I'm an insurance agent (auto & home) spend a few hours doing research on car accidents. Guarantee you'll hesitate to get behind the wheel in the morning.

Okay we're on--but I really think it should be 11/7 to 12/5 to give you a full 4 weeks and true chance to experience the phenomenon. Your body is obviously puttin up a good fight & it might take a little extra time to convince it. And just forget the 1500 calories! 1200 MAX! You take Vitamins, don't you? The low calorie count isn't forever so I personally think it does more good to take off the weight than worry so much about nutrition. You just need a major part of that in Protein for energy. I often don't get in all my fruits & veggies and I am very, very healthy. I do take a ton of vites tho. (Sold Shakely in my 20's & that convinced me forever.) I don't have to grind them right now and I'm not looking forward to having to do that again after my fill. Whatapain. The belly dancing sounds so fun! It sounds so sexy to say you're doing "undulations, mayas, camels and geiraphs"! I'd love to learn those moves. If any of the pics of me Lindyhopping at my bro's wedding come out I'll post them. I like all kinds of dance, but lindy the best because of the music. Think we should start a new thread on Monday?

Dr. Ron, I know other people have said it before, but let me reiterate how much we appreciate your postings. Sometimes it's really nice to have a doctor in the house! I've got a feeling your patients are very lucky indeed. Kare

Oooooo brave woman Cissy. But you know you've got us, because we've already EATEN all the fruit! Could toss some wilted lettuce atcha tho. That's great that you're losing fast. From your sig it looks like you're still over 200, is that right? There is NO WAY you are going to keep losing an avg of 4# per week once you get down to 185 or so. I mean, you'll probably keep losing--just not fast. And that's perfectly okay. You have any idea where your set points are? I think those are a real phenomenon. Historically, I go from 195 to 185 pretty quick and it's a lot harder to get from 185 to 175. Congratulations and enjoy it while you can. Just don't get discouraged when it slows down.

Hey Crystal, Sorry it took me so long to get back to you. I had a crazy-busy day. So! Okay, we're on! I don't know about you but I always start a new workout/diet on a Monday--so how about this one (Nov 7)? The challenge is that you will lose more than your pokey half pound AND feel more energy--but don't discount the fact that you will probably feel LESS energy the first 2-3 weeks. It's pretty rare that I haven't felt worse before I felt better when I've pushed myself to the next level. In fact, if I don't feel crummy at first I know I need to push harder. I think it's that homeostasis thing in our bodies. Even when we make a GOOD change, change is resisted. Okay, aerobic means something that gets your heart rate up. The higher the better. I think the minimum test is walking fast enough that you could keep up a breathless conversation--but couldn't possibly sing. I suggest you break up the workout--but should try to work hard enough to breakout into a sweat at least once a day. You can count walking fast to class--but no strolling. Pilates doesn't count and only the time spent in aerobic mode during belly dancing can count. (I take swing dance classes and at least half the time is spent in demos--I never count my swing times into my workouts.) I think Pilates and weight training are both good, but it has not been my experience that they take off weight. Firm up, yes, but they don't take it off. I figured out aerobics were the key the 100 pound loss before last and when I read a detail description of what Oprah was doing to lose afte that time I found myself nodding, "Yup, that's what it takes." Maybe you need a fill, maybe not. If you're already eating...what? Average of 1,000 a day you might find exercise more valuable than a fill. Remember I've lost this all without one. I'm getting my FIRST FILL on Monday. I knew once this wedding-goal was met I'd fall off the wagon and I have. I had a steak dinner and THREE Cadillac Margaritas last night. OMG. Short break from what has to be my eating reality. I know what to do & I'm so relieved I'll be forced to stop binging. I'll join you on Monday with my first fill and a rededication. So start Monday, Nov 7 and go to...Nov 31? Thanksgiving is in there, that is going to mess us up. Maybe it should be Nov 7 to Dec 5. How does that sound? I know... that's 4 weeks, but I'll tell you what... do the (minimum--you may surprise yourself and feel like doing more) 1-hour/5 day plan until 12/5 and if you don't lose more than 2 I'll send you $100--and if you lose more than 4# I'll mail you $150. Believe me, after what I spent last night I can see I'll be saving more than that on meals if I get back to business too. We can inspire each other. (But you'll still owe me that drink.) Agreed? Witnesses?

Who are they? Let them stand up so we can throw rotten fruit at them! I'm sorry Crystal, I don't believe it. There are always exceptions, but I bet most rabbits work for it. Anyway, there is no question that I do. Weight has NO TROUBLE falling ON me tho. My metabolism is as slow as anybody's. Only LOTS of exercise gets it up. Oprah works out aerobically (hard) a (minimum) of an hour a day. That KEEPS her where she's at. If Oprah hasn't found a way to lose w/o working out then I doubt I'm going to. You are a busy, busy woman and you've got a lot of stress on you so I wouldn't advise you to push yourself to be a bunny if it's just gonna stress you more. You have to do what WORKS for you on EVERY level. That being said (I'm sorry--really--I'm sorry, but I have to say it...) ULTIMATELY you will feel better and have MORE energy from working out. I've just seen it too many times not to believe it. I know you don't have time... I know all that... nonetheless if there were some way you could possibly work out aerobically an hour a day 5 days a week for THREE WEEKS I'll bet you $100 to a drink in Vegas next Bash that by the 4th week you will feel more energy and will show more than a half pound loss per week. I'm serious Crystal. You try it and at the 4th week tell me you feel like shit and I'll send you $100. Go ahead, take me up on it. Or, you know... just tell me to go to hell. (GD&R) Yeah, stay away from mirrors and those skinny twits. That's something I really hate about gyms. I'm a master at avoiding the mirrors, but seem to have a radar for eyes on my fat ass. Use a gym if it helps you and don't if it doesn't. The advantage of walking is anyone can do it with you. If a friend drops by in the evening they pretty much know they're going to end up on a walk w/ Tribble and me. (TRibble's our dog--they're handy to keep ya honest about walking.) Oh god, I feel so "preachy." My old 312# self is listening to this thinking I'm such a sickening know-it-all. Don't think I was an easy convert. But if *I* can do it, anyone can.

Oh Lisa, surely you don't expect us to remember all the things you've whined about???!!! .....Ducking!

Oh YES--the IPOD is a VALUABLE component. HOW did I ever live without one??? (I love making playlist CDs to give to my friends!) I belong to 24-hour fitness, but haven't been for months. It's a lot quicker and easier for me to jump on the elliptical at home--no shoes (or even pants! if the kid's gone [bra NOT optional]) required or get out the door to enjoy my neighborhood. I've talked to so many people on my walks and my dog knows where all the cats hang out. You have to be careful, but free weights are better for you than machines in that they improve your BALANCE. (This is a demonstrated fact.) Balance is more and more important as we get older. I could barely go for 10 seconds not holding on on my elliptical at the beginning, now I pump w/ quarter# weights half the time. I've noticed I am now VERY good at catching myself if I start to trip while I'm out walking.

The secret to being a rabbit is simple: Rabbits RUN. I work out--a LOT. Working to lose weight for my brother's wedding last Saturday I averaged AN HOUR AND A HALF EVERY DAY (minimum) for the last 6 weeks or so. The last two weeks I added a 6-8# weight belt. I stayed between 800-1200 cals most days. I doubt I would lose anything working out only 3x per week. That's not nearly enough for loss--that's a mainenance workout schedule. When people ask how I've been able to lose this quickly I can honestly say I've worked like a dog for it. I sweated for every damn ounce down. So... the wedding was Saturday. It went great and I looked pretty damn good. And how much have I been working out since then? Probably an hour an a half total. And how many cals have I eaten? I'd probably stick my head in the toilet and drown myself if I counted. But Monday--thank the Lord--I'm getting a fill. (My first.) I'm going thru that "event over--taking a break" and "last meal" syndrome. I'll be working out like mad again soon. Are you willing to workout aerobically 90 minutes a day? There's no way you won't lose weight faster if you do that. The first two it may not be as quick because you'll be building muscle and retaining Water, but after that you will notice the pounds coming off a lot faster.

OMG--talk about things being fat makes ya do!! My little brother got married last night. He's my only bro and this is his first wedding and family came from all over the country for it. I've been constricting cals and working out like crazy to get ready for this. I managed to stuff myself into some "total control" hose & fit into this cute skirt I wanted to wear and really felt pretty good about myself. The ceremony went well--and THEN came the PICTURES. I'm sure I'm not the only one who has been aghast at "fat photos" that seem to crop up in the future. I've always done my best to hide from cameras, but this bride had TWO professional photographers AND the minister's wife does WEDDING VIDEOS. Being part of the immediate family I had to submit to being in some of these things--sucked in my gut and tried to remember to stand tall. I behaved pretty well and then during the reception I had a little speech & toast I wanted to give for the occasion. When the moment was right the DJ motioned me up and handed me a mike. Well, here I was suddenly in front of about 200 people with a mic in my hands (rather discomforting) and suddenly there are FOUR (I kid you not--FOUR!) cameras flashing at me. I look at them pleading and say, "Pleeeze go away..." They relent and soon as I had my wits back and could remember what the hell it was I was going to say, suddenly there is this BRIGHT LIGHT of a video cam right in front of me. At that point the ONLY thought in my head was, "SHIT--that video is going to add at least 10 pounds to me!" And I glared into the light and said, "GO AWAY!" I didn't even know it was the minister (helping his wife) behind it. Afterwards I asked my son if what I said came out okay and he said, "Yeah, but maybe you shouldn't have yelled at the minister." And OHMYGOD--it was caught on tape! Me yelling at a minister--saved for prosperiety. Granted, that light was rude and it's hard enough to speak in front of a group when you're not used to it, but I'm sure I wouldn't have spoken quite so forcefully if I hadn't been thinking about how fat I was gonna look (the champagne probably didn't help either). Now I'm going to Hell for SURE.

You guys cracked me up with your verbal utterances too! But really that minister was pretty rude with that camera. I found out this morning that my bro & his bride didn't know he was going to be taping and they found it annoying also as he was following them around. Honestly, I'm mostly chagrined that it was caught ON TAPE. Now forever people can see me using my "Mother Voice." At least after the first showing or two no one watches wedding tapes anyway.

Well that's 50 gone for me now. I've really been working hard at this--especially the last few weeks-- since my brother's wedding is THIS Saturday. I'll see a lot of people there I only see every few years and some of them haven't seen me since I was 312#. The last few weeks I've been averaging 1000 calories per day and working out about 90 minutes daily. I get up in the morning and do 20-30 minutes on my elliptical trainer, walk 20 minutes at my lunch break and then walk the dog for 40-50 minutes every night (also do about 15 minutes of free-weights several nights a week while watching TV). Even with all that I've only been losing 1-2 pounds a week. That didn't really surprise me because I know from past experience that the less you have to carry around--the harder you have to work to get what's left off! So last week I got something called a "Walkvest" (walkvest. com) and did my morning and eveining workouts with additional weight added. The walkvest goes up to 16 pounds, but you're supposed to start w/ 4# and add in 1/2 pound increments. I didn't even feel it after walking w/ 4 pounds so I went up to 8 right away and did this all week. That is the ONLY difference between last week and this week so I think adding this weight really helped. I'll only know for sure if the bigger loss keeps up consistently for a few weeks, but I thought this was pretty exciting so I thought I share it with you.

Well, where you carry the weight is important. I hope you aren't hurting your back with that backpack. I asume you're not doing "power walks" with it. I am very sold on this walkvest thing. I can't remember a time after the initial loss that I've lost 4 pounds two weeks straight. Since I'm walking w/ 8 pounds in it and I've lost eight in the 2 weeks wearing it I've evened out how much I'm actually taxing my body. I think I'm going to try to keep to the same low-cal high workout pattern for another week just out of curiousity so see what happens.

Okay please DON'T HATE ME! I lost another 4 this week. I definately give some credit to this weight vest I've been wearing AND the fact that I worked out hour and a half MINIMUM everyday. My brother's wedding is over now so I can relax a bit now and get more into the real world of weight loss. But I'm kinda in the habit so I'm going to keep up this workout schedule for as long as I can.