DevilMayKare

Okay, I'm in for this challenge. Sadly, I had to go revise my ticker UP since the end of the Fall challenge. I've put off doing this as it SOOOO discourages me, but time to get clean and BACK to work... or working out as it were. My exercise was minimal over the holidays and omigosh WHAT a difference it makes. It's not like I don't already KNOW that. Since I always feel so much better when I'm working out regularly why the heck to I take breaks from it? Oh well, I'll try to stop beating myself up now. If I can go a week without feeling dissapointed in myself it would be a BIG NSV. An even 180 to start. By the end of this challend I want to in the 160's.

A few... but I don't think it's wise to put the actual number here in case the music people come after me. :guess That's one reason I won't accept any pymt... it's just for fun and something we can share. If you're introduced to any new artists (& there's a pretty good chance you will be) you'll buy more of their music. I have several things from "Cherry Poppin Daddies" on there, but if you could workout to an entire CD of their stuff alone.

So Sorry you've been sick Alex. That's crummy over the holidays. I didn't really expect anyone to get thru the whole CD at first. I rarely use more than 30 minutes of it at a time. The songs really change from fast soundtrack stuff (Footloose) at the beginning to fast swing (my current favorite) so depending on my mood I often start around the 6th song. To everyone who has PM'd me as of 1/2--got your addresses and I'll be mailing CDs out tomorrow or the next day. Look for them in your mail by the end of the week... and let me know if I missed anyone.

I'll burn some more CDs tomorrow and mail them out--just PM your address. Really, everyone, thanks for offering but I don't want any payment; however, I WOULD like some FEEDBACK! Please come back to this thread after you workout to the cd and let me know which songs you really liked--and which you didn't. And no one's figured out DeLarla's song yet??? Didn't get that far?? :rolleyes

Have you tried doing a search for Exercise? We have talked about that a LOT around here!! Just not so much in December... you guess why. :ermm I was a rabbit until I let go w/ my exercise this month. Now I'm up 7#... at least. Can't bear to weigh-in right now. I will for our New Year's challenge.

Um... that's assuming your "you know whats" are higher than the scars. You're a young thing, aren't you?

Yes, it does have to do with the Protein. The live acidolpholus (sp?) bacteria helps tremendously with the ketones. HarleyNana, have you tried the Custard or Whipped Yoplait versions? They really don't taste like "yogurt" at all! I eat one of the whipped yoplait daily (less calories) and it does the trick. If I skip a day of yogurt I get the bad breath and bad taste comes back about the 2nd day after.

And I just want to say (ANWYN!) and anyone else I sent an exercise CD to--I expect one of your NSVs to be making it at least halfway thru the playlist!! :cheeky

Dr O does seem to have done right by Michelle and her band removal. From what I've seen so far his office is very fair about taking care of problems. When I had to go back to have some fill removed the only charge was $30 for the fluoro and they fit me in within the week. (Dr M came in early.) But I also would be interested in hearing what he has to say, so I vote for YOU calling him! We'll look for your report.

Thanks Debby-do! Checking in with challenges motivates me. For some reason, just that small accountability helps. I agree w/ Ann in the one NSV tho--one a week is enough to pat ourselves on the back. I think I disagree about shortening the time tho. It seems like most of our challenges have been too short to me. Two months (a little less because Feb is short) is enough time to actually SEE a difference. Either way, count me in!

Mercedes, I was every bit as compulsive as you. Believe me, no one gets to 312 pounds without plenty of binging. The correct restriction will put SOME stops on that binging as you really can't eat while choking, but if you're super determined you CAN eat around the band (ice cream & soups) so there IS a way to get around restriction. The ONLY thing that truly helps my eating compulsion is exercise. A daily regimine of aerobic workout (very high level NOW) with many mini-workouts thru the day keeps me in check. This has worked better for me than any diet drug (I've tried them all) or eating plan. I HATE EXERCISING! I used to have to FORCE myself out the door or on the elliptical 99% of the time. Now I'd say I have to force myself about 80% of the time. Twenty percent of the time I actually FEEL like it (that's a LOT). There is no easy fix and the band does not work alone--especially if you work against it. Sorry. If "THE ANSWER" existed every banded person on this board would be at their goal weight and maintaining there. It's hard work but YOU CAN do it. The very first thing you have to do is stop telling yourself that you can't.

Try eating yogurt once a day. My breath problems are totally gone when I eat yogurt daily. Give this a try. I bet it will help.

The weights are meant to be tied on to fishing lines so they have holes in them. There are all kinds of shapes and sizes. No fishermen in this group? Re quarter rolls... I could just see you deadpanning to your Dr--"Need some change?" or "I TOLD him to leave it on the dresser." I'd probably just say something like, "Now how did THAT get there??"

Ditto. That's exactly how I felt Anwyn. Well... I already PM'd Lisa the words I couldn't put up on the board. SUCKS.

Congrats John! I love your uplifting posts. You are always so sweet and positive. Thank you!

Gosh--what a shape! Beautiful. Four weeks in bed is a looooooong time! Is that the norm? And did you have any lipo done at the same time or just the lift? No driving or anything for four weeks? *whew* Thanks so much for sharing!

Hey guys... I just got this article via email and it actually has some usful info. Alot of it is probably stuff you have read before, but some of it is new to me and worth thinking (& planning) about. I bolded the area that I found especially noteworthy. You just never know what tiny bit of information is the one that keeps the Cookies off the plate! Self Regulation Ben Dean, Ph.D. Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation leans on the doorbell. --anonymous Self Regulation Defined When individuals exert control over thoughts, behaviors, or emotions so that they can pursue goals or live up to standards, they are displaying the character strength of self-regulation (Peterson and Seligman, 2004). Self-regulation may involve either initiating a response (getting out of bed to go to the gym) or inhibiting a response (resisting the urge to swing by Dairy Queen on the way home from work). What Determines Success in Self-Regulation? Most obviously, the strength of the competing desire or impulse influences how successful we are in exerting self-regulation. (Think about the amount of self-regulation required for a seasoned smoker to quit vs. that required for an occasional smoker.) According to Baumeister (2002), effective self-regulation depends on three major factors: 1) Standards Standards refer to the goals or ideals that guide the desired response. Are you going to the gym because you want to be healthy? Thin? Energetic? Do you censor an angry comment because you want to be kind? Fair? A good leader? Sometimes self-regulation failures occur when a person holds two values or goals that are in conflict. For example, coaching clients may not meet their savings goals because their desire to save money conflicts with their desire to surround themselves with beauty or travel the world. Similarly, a client may never finish that novel because the required commitment for writing conflicts with her desire to spend evenings and weekends with her family. 2) Monitoring Self-control lapses often occur when we are not monitoring our behaviors. In a review of the literature on self-control failures, Baumeister (1994) noted that alcohol intoxication results in lapses in practically any domain that requires controlled behavior. After several drinks, people are less likely to monitor their spending, their comments, their eating, or even further drinking! Monitoring may also be the key to improving self-control. Polivy and colleagues (1986) did an interesting series of studies in which they first asked dieters and non-dieters to drink two large, calorie-filled milkshakes. Subsequently, they had the (optional) opportunity to eat all the candy they wanted. The dieters ate significantly more than the non-dieters at this time, presumably because their diets were already "blown" for the day and they were no longer monitoring what they ate. However, when the dieters were forced to attend to what they continued to eat (e.g., having to keep their empty wrappers in front of them), they ate significantly less. Similarly, research suggests that consumers spend less and make fewer "impulse buys" when they record every purchase. Interestingly, Baumeister and others note that few impulses are actually irresistible-even though they may feel that way at the time. Monitoring can effectively dampen the impulse. Even crimes of passion are rarely committed in the presence of an armed police officer! 3) Capacity to Change Having a well-defined goal (losing weight) and a careful record of one's behavior (no cookies eaten yet today) are useless without the ability to push oneself to take the necessary actions (buying produce, not Pringles, at the grocery store). Most research supports the notion that self-control is like a muscle. Our capacity to self regulate becomes depleted after use, and it can be developed through training once it rebounds from the initial fatigue. Laboratory studies repeatedly show that individuals show diminished ability to control their behaviors (e.g., resisting cookies, holding back a powerful emotion, or persisting in a difficult task) when they have previously engaged in another task requiring self-regulation. In related research, Twenge and colleagues (2001) found that making decisions or choices depletes the same finite resource that governs our ability to self regulate. (Imagine a weary holiday shopper who begins a day at the mall with a focused plan but who ends the day making impulse buys and eating a Cinnabon roll in the food court.) Diurnal cycles also seem to play a role in the ability to self regulate. Dieters rarely spring out of bed and break their diets. Individuals with alcohol dependence who take antabuse typically do so in the morning so that they will not be able to drink (without getting sick) later in the day when cravings intensify. Evidence suggests that our resources for self regulation are restored after a good night's sleep and then gradually depleted during the day as we make decisions and display willpower (or won't power!) in myriad ways. Peterson and Seligman (2004, p. 510) offer the following practical observation and recommendation: "To live a balanced, well-regulated life, it may be necessary to recognize that the capacity for controlling oneself depends on a limited resource that needs to be managed effectively and conserved for the most pressing or important demands. In practice, this entails that much of life must be guided by habit, routine, and other automatic processes, so that the demands for conscious control over oneself are kept down to the level that the self's limited resources can meet." Practical Recommendations The ability to self regulate effectively is associated with wide ranging positive outcomes: good school performance, better personal adjustment, better relationships, good leadership abilities, and greater interpersonal appeal. Conversely, poor self-regulation abilities are associated with individual and societal problems ranging from drug and alcohol addiction to crime to unwanted pregnancy. Interestingly, Seligman and Peterson (2004) did not find any potential drawbacks of too much self-regulatory ability. In those individuals whom we think of as having overly controlling and rigid personalities, it does not appear that a hyperactive self-regulatory mechanism is the culprit. Below are some practical recommendations inspired by the literature on self- regulation: 1) Understand that self-regulation can have a tremendously positive, life-changing impact in your life. And the good news is that self-regulation is like a muscle. You can strengthen it. So take heart! 2) Start by evaluating your own self-regulation. Take the VIA and discover where self-regulation falls in the rank order of your strengths. It can't be lower than mine-which was #24 the first time I took the VIA. 3) Cut yourself some slack. Self-regulation is a limited resource; so don't tackle everything at once. Start with one area that could use some work and focus on it. 4) We do our best when we are rested and our "gas tank" of self-regulation is full. Therefore, early in the day is better than late in the day. If you can, focus on the new self-regulation goal in the morning. For example, if it's exercise, run early in the day--Don't promise yourself you'll do it after work. 5) When setting a self-regulatory goal, define your standards and values. What are you working toward? Why is it that you are dragging yourself out of bed every morning to go to the gym? What would it mean to be healthier and more physically fit? And as you move toward the standard you have set for yourself, explore potential values conflicts. Does spending more time at the gym mean skipping Breakfast with your kids before school? Is it worth it? 6) Monitor your behaviors. If you are trying to stop swearing, keep a log of all violations. If you are trying to eat less, keep a food diary and avoid eating while your attention is diverted elsewhere (e.g., to the television or cocktail party conversation). 7) Take care of yourself. Our ability to self regulate is impaired when we are fatigued or stressed, so watch out for evenings when your reservoir is low. Use routines and schedules to minimize unnecessary but stressful decisions and temptations. For example, a dieter might order groceries online or strictly adhere to a list to avoid agonizing moments in the snack aisle. 8) Pace yourself. Remember that even dissimilar activities like resisting a cigarette, making a series of difficult decisions, keeping your cool at work, and persevering on a writing task all deplete the reservoir. Don't make the classic New Year's Resolution mistake and attempt to stop all vices at once. 9) Look for small opportunities to strengthen your self-regulation muscle. If you love pumpkin pie, reduce the risk but test yourself mildly. Eat a full meal at a restaurant so that you're not hungry; then deliberately walk by the dessert counter and look at the pumpkin pie. If you love to read late at night but it keeps you up too late, plan to stop reading one night at exactly the top of the hour, even if you're in the middle of a page. 10) Sleep! Don't start your day with your self-regulatory tank (or your stomach) only half full. 11) Learn more. For further ideas, start with Baumeister's Losing Control : How and Why People Fail at Self-Regulation or the chapter on self-regulation in Peterson and Seligman's Character Strengths and Virtues: A Handbook and Classification. If you have strengthened your own self-regulation muscle, I would love to hear your story. What was your problem before? What did you do to improve your ability to self-regulate? Please share your good ideas with me so that I can share them with Coaching Toward Happiness readers. Send me an e-mail with SELF REGULATION in all caps in the subject line. I will assume I can use your name if I print your idea in the next newsletter unless you tell me otherwise. Self Regulation References Baumeister, R.F. (2002). Yielding to temptation: Self-Control Failure, Impulsive Purchasing, and Consumer Behavior. Journal of Consumer Research 28, 670-676. Baumeister, R.F., Heatherton, T.F., & Tice, D.M. (1994). Losing control: How and why people fail at self-regulation. San Diego, California: Academic Press. Peterson, C., & Seligman, M. E. P. (2004). Character strengths and virtues: A handbook and classification. Washington, DC: American Psychological Association/New York: Oxford University Press. Polivy, J.C., Herman, P.H., Hackett, R., & Kuleshnyk, I. (1986). The effects of self-attention and public attention in eating in restrained and unrestrained subjects. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 50, 1253-1260. Twenge, J.M., Baumeister, R.F., Tice, D.M., Schmeichel, B. (2001). Decision Fatigue: Making Multiple Personal Decisions Depletes the Self's Resources. Unpublished manuscript, Department of Psychology, Case Western Reserve University, Cleveland, OH 44106. A Story of Personal Courage In last month's issue of Coaching Toward Happiness, I invited readers to submit personal stories of courage. What an honor it was to read these tremendous stories. Here, with permission, is a beautiful story written by Debbie Kemp that many of us can relate to as it involves losing a parent. Debbie, thank you for your honesty, courage, and openness: Thanks for the opportunity to write and think about this Ben. Very inspirational and helpful Here's my story.... My father died very suddenly about 5 years ago. When I got the news, I started to fall apart. I'd lost my dad and I needed taking care of. Within moments my thoughts shifted more importantly to my mom who had just lost her partner of over 50 years. She needed me and I needed courage! I was so afraid of falling apart and not being the "'rock" for Mom. I was so afraid of feeling my grief - I'd never lost a dad before. To get to Mom's means a 1.5 hr ferry ride. I had time in the line up and time on the ferry to look for the courage I needed to help Mom. An amazing thing happened during that ferry ride. I somehow transcended my own fear and grief and was brought face to face with millions of people around the world who had lost a loved one. The images were of men, women, children in countries I've never even visited before, and in that moment I had courage. I wasn't alone. I wasn't the only person to have ever had to deal with death. I found a peace that enveloped me and held me together over the next week as we made arrangements and comforted our friends and family. A few weeks ago, I was experimenting with the Reflected Best Self exercise (University of Michigan). I had my mom and sister participate to share their stories about me at my best. They both wrote about my strength during that difficult time and how they couldn't have pulled through without me. They had never thought of me as strong or courageous - nor had I. Debbie Debbie Kemp aVirtualRetreat.com 604.948.8058 Upcoming Training and Speaking Schedule MentorCoach® Dr. Dean founded MentorCoach in 1997. It is an internationally recognized coach training school focused on training helping professionals to develop rewarding coaching practices. The Winter MentorCoach Training Programs. begin (via teleconference) on December 8, 2005 at 12:00 Noon Eastern** December 8, 2005 at 8:00 PM Eastern** January 27, 2006 at 12:00 PM Eastern -. **Students can easily join this class on January 5th, receiving tapes of the first two hours. For details, click here. Blue Sky Visioning Master Class With Ben Dean and Anne Durand begins January 25, 2006. 12 Wednesdays at 1:00 pm Eastern (NY time) 6:00 pm GMT. How to create a very large vision of what your life could be. Details: click here. CTH Speaking Schedule Ben Dean, Ph.D. Ben will be speaking on "Coaching and the New Science of Happiness" in Baltimore, MD (2/10/06) Philadelphia (2/12/06) Dallas (3/10/06) Houston (3/12/06) Psychotherapy Networker Symposium, Washington, DC (3/17/05-3/19/05) For details, click here. If you received this newsletter from a friend and want to subscribe, click here. If you'd like to forward it to a friend, click here.Â

I agree--"Wicked" is great! The Lovely Bones (Alice Sebold) good also, but sad. Two other EXCELLENT reads... "The Sparrow" & "Children of God" by Mary Doria Russell. Really SURPRISING and unexpected plot lines...the author has a degree in anthropology and these are kind of anthropological science fiction with a philosophical thread.

I had 2cc put in my first fill and I was DYIN! I tried to put up with it for almost a month before going back and having some taken out. Dr M took me down to 1cc, which was a little less than I wanted. It seems to be pretty good for now tho. I'm restricted and choke up if I eat too fast or too much, but I can actually participate in the holidays a LITTLE. When I was severly restricted it just made me eat more high-calorie liquids and chips (because they were one of the few things that didn't choke me). You may think you want tight restriction, but believe me, it's a miserable state.

Hey bandless and portless buddies... please be sure to check out the "Self Regulation" article I put up in support. I think it has some info that might be especially useful for those of you relying on willpower alone!

Actually, I think there are quite a few worse ways to die. I know it can be an enemy--evil, addictive monkey on our backs, but let's face it... food can be very good company. I can tell you if I'm ever diagnosed with a fatal illness the first thing I'm going to do is get a hot fudge sundae. I don't want to negate the pain every person on this board has experienced (why the hell would we get major surgery for thousands of dollars if we weren't desperate?) but just for perspective, eating oneself to death is only an option in some places (America, for instance). People dying of starvation in the Sudan would have little empathy for those of us eating ourselves to death. In fact, one of the reasons we are ABLE to eat ourselves to death is because we've LIVED LONG ENOUGH to do so. It's a very weird thing to be grateful for, nonetheless I am.

Oh yeah, McMurtry is gooood. Not exactly "upper" reading tho! There are some scenes from Comanche that will haunt me forever. Alex, have you read the Power of One? If you like McMurtry, you would really like that book. But most of the books we've listed here I wouldn't buy at Borders. I'd get them at a used bookshop for 1/4 the price and cut them in 3 parts (bind w/ duct) to keep in my purse.

I've read so many books I've actually started compiling a list with ratings for when someone asked for a recommendation. When you're as old as I am and have read as many books as I have it gets really hard to REMEMBER. The list is very incomplete, but I'll attach it her tomorrow if you like. Off the top of my head, if you haven't read Clavell's Shogun series--they're among my favorites, also Ann Rice's Witch books (I didn't like the vampire books), Philippa Gregory for historical, trashy romance (The Queen's fool), and Bryce COurtenay's "The Power of One" will keep you captivated and thinking for a long time.

Still, that 40% doesn't really mean anything until we know what percentage of "normal" (not fat) people consider suicide. Plenty of people kill themselves who aren't fat. In fact, I betcha of the people who kill themselves--a lesser percentage are fat. Many of us have found a more insidious way to deal with the pain of life by killing ourselves--slowly--with food. It's not a big leap to say that anyone who has died as a result of an obesity related illness has committed suicide. It is all in the way one looks at it.

Diane--You never heard SUCCESS?? O man, you must be a very young thing! Have you heard "It's Raining Men"? That's good too, although not on that CD. I thought success was better thematically. DeLarla--I just bought a new car 2 weeks ago and the thing that pushed me over in my choice was the fact that it is IPOD READY! It actually has a port that charges your IPOD and turns the radio control into an IPOD control (you can see the songs listed on the radio and the dial turns into an ipod tuner), sooo cool! Welll, it WAS cool. I got hit by a semi truck 4 days after picking up that car so it's been at the collision repair ever since.