ash_ham1983

I'm new to the whole forum thing, I don't really know where to start. I'm 30 years old and weigh 407 lbs, I have been over weight for most of my life. I'm planning on having Gastric Bypass Surgery, we're shooting for August... all I have to do is lose 50 lbs and stop smoking. I've accomplised the not smoking part and I have also cut out drinking any and all sodas (Coca Cola is my vice). My journey actually started about two years ago. In 2012 I found a surgeon who took my insurance and got an appoointment, I had to drive 4 hours to get to each and every appointment, I even got my physc eval out of the way. Several months later I found out that the surgery was being offered in a city less than two hours away from my hometown. I contacted that office and it was no problem at all transferring. I had to redo some of the appointments and evaluations but I was determined and willing to do whatever it took. I met with my nutritionist, I had to lose 50 lbs before I could meet with the surgeon to talk about surgery. So, I started my diet and exercise. Three weeks later I was down 17 lbs... I was over the moon and on the right track. A few weeks later I got a letter in the mail stating the my surgeon had left the hospital, so surgery was out of the question at this point. Many months went by and I ended up losing my job, my insurance, my motivation.... it became a really dark time for me. Now, here we are, it's 2014; I haven't worked in about 5 months... I feel as if not to many people are willing to hire a 400 lb woman (at least that's how I feel). Being couped up in the house over these past few months I have very anti-social and get anxiety when it comes to leaving the house. I was able to find another surgeon, had my physc eval, met with the dietician and have all my pre-op testings scheduled. Now all I have to lose 50 lbs and surgery is a go!! I've been really strict with what I am eating and I'm writing everything down. My husband thinks I'm being a little obcessive about it but I have to be strict with myself. It's been three weeks since I have started dieting and I'm down about 13 lbs but now I'm at a complete stand still. I'm still sticking to the diet, 1500 calories or less a day but I can't motivate myself to exercise. Every time I start my exercises there is always something else I think of that I need to do instead. I keep thinking that something is always going to stand in the way of me having surgery. And I realize the only person standing in my way, is me. I just don't know what to do to change how I'm feeling. I'm in need of some big time encouragement!!

Thank you for the encouragement. It helps to know that I'm not in this completely alone. There are people out there that know exactly what I'm going through and the struggles I am having. I agree that it would do me a lot of good to talk to someone about my issues, I need to find a healthier way of coping with things. I've been telling mysef all day that "tomorrow is the day"!! I plan on loading my ipod with music and start with one lap around the block... it is certainly better than sitting in the house doing nothing. And your right, I would really regret not putting forth the effort for these past couple of years for nothing. If you don't mind me asking did you have to lose any weight before surgery? I'm finding it hard to find different variety of things to eat. I live in a very small town in the bootheel of Missouri and our two grocery stores don't carry a wide variety of fresh vegetables. I do have to say since my diet I cook a lot healthier for the whole family and they seem to like it. If you have any suggestions for meal plans or recipes I would be forever greatful. And again, thank you for your response.