noahsmom

Thanks = now I get it. I guess though, if you are tighter and tighter, your pouch size remains the same, so I am still a little confused about that part, but one thing I have learned about this thing is that IT CHANGES ON ITS OWN. A refill yesterday with little restriction today does not stay that way. I will "weight" two weeks before I ask for more filling...thank you SO MUCH!!!! I feel so relieved.

I have had the lapband for a year now. I still do not understand one thing, and I read the post-it which was good but still did not hit my exact question. When I eat, I thought the upper pouch that was made by the lapband was supposed to be my "new stomach" and that it could only fit a small amount of food and then I would feel full. If it was tight enough, I would get full there first and then slowly the food would drain down into the old stomach. So I left it really tight for a long time and I could only eat a bite or two at at time and mostly threw up until it became so swollen that I had to have an unfill - gained 16 pounds in 10 days and am now back to a refill. I feel I can eat a lot. I am so confused!! You would think I would get this by now, but I think I had it all wrong all along. I think the post it leads me to believe that by placing the band, I am actually just restricting the size of my original stomach and that I have to have restriction for what? To prevent too much from coming up over it? See - I am clueless. Somebody please clarify to my stupid self. Thanks

PB means productive burping - every burp and a little of your drink pops into your mouth from a few minutes earlier? That is it. You feel this huge pressure and yes, pain, where a burp comes from. It feels like a freight train and you have the PB and out comes this tiny amount of food or water or something small and soft - it felt like a rock in there but it is just chewed food - no stomach acid so it doesn't stink or burn - just chewed food and it is easy. You feel empowered and it reminds you - CHEW CHEW CHEW - it is so easy to pop things into your mouth and forget - but the band reminds you!

(This should go in the 'success stories" posting area, but i just spent over an hour trying to post without a pic and it just WILL NOT LET ME. I am in computers for a living, so I know what I am doing. I am furious at this point, so I am posting my story here.......for whatever it is worth without a pic!!) I remember being obsessed with this website before my surgery - scanning every story and every posting to apply to my decision and journey. I had a C-section and an appendectomy and in the year prior, but the idea of this surgery scared the Hell out of me. It was different because I was making this decision to do this to myself and there was no going back. Like getting on a roller coaster -there is no stop button, but at least the coaster is only a minute or two - this is a lifetime! I was sure I would die on the table and almost cancelled the night before. I was so scared. All went well though and I got through it. The hardest part of the whole thing was realizing what a major MIND SCREW this whole thing really is. It isn't the physical that is effected in this process - it is your mind! The pain was minimal, the surgery no biggie, all bearable - but the effect on my mind was what surprised me the most and still does. First off - I was not one of the lucky ones who felt no hunger in the weeks after surgery. Before surgery I could not lose more than 4 pounds and felt like an utter failure. After surgery I was to be on clear liquids 2 weeks, then thick liquids 2 weeks, mushies 2 weeks, and so on. I was in TOTAL HELL!! I cannot tell you upset I was - angry and furious and actually panicked that I could not eat. I also felt like I hated my band and wanted it out. I felt like I had done this terrible thing to myself and was suffering. I was mad at myself for getting so damned fat and mad for torturing myself with this ridiculous surgery. I felt hopeless and depressed. It was a very hard time in my life.....but guess what, it passed! I made it through those weeks and after that, time flew. At first - I lost barely anything. Another girl who had the surgery with me lost tons and I started getting pissed off and avoiding her - just seeing her made me feel like a failure. I wasn't tight for forever and had to keep going back to the doctor who always made me feel stupid for my one or two pound weight loss. I hated going back there. One day, a girl in the waiting room who was now thin from the surgery told me - "look - you paid for this thing - be aggressive and keep getting a fill until it works - don't let the doctor shame you for not losing enough weight - if you could do it without a fill - you wouldn't have had the damn surgery in the first place." She was right - I swallowed my shame and made him keep doing the fills until it worked. Then started the mind games. It was pretty tight and I had trial and error over and over. things got stuck, I PB'd a lot and slimed and felt so frustrated and stupic. I tried eating protein first and only like the doc said, but it was so difficult. Finally I decided - screw it - count calories. I never eat more than 1200 and if it 3 ice cream sundaes that day = 1200, so be it. I can't be bothered with all the counting, weighing, measuring and what not, and typically protein is hard to get down anyway. Funny thing, I am not interested in sundaes anymore after all. I eat my 1200 calories and sometimes that is even hard to do - not to keep it down to 1200, but to eat that much! I don't like the way I feel when I eat junk and prefer salads and healthy foods now. Me - actually preferring that kind of crap! I cannot believe it. I sound like one of those skinny chicks I used to hate, but it's actually true! Wow. Months went by and I thought - this Bullsh-- is not working. I look like an idiot and everyone is wondering why I am still so fat. Why did I do this to myself? I PD-ed a lot learning my lessons, but to my surprise, it was not so bad. I have notoriously avoided vomiting at all costs - hate it so damn much that I would rather lay in bed miserable for hours than vomit when I am sick or when I was drinking in college, but PBing is not the same - it just pops out and your done. I have gotten so good at it, I can close my office door, pop it up and go back to work in silence a few seconds later- no one hears anything. it is not like vomiting really. Its easy. I am proud of myself for that - weird, but true. Finally one day - boom! I looked in the mirror and thought - damn - I look different. I feel different. People started noticing I looked different. It just creeps on you. You are going along thinking - this is not working dammit! What is taking so long - I am panicking here. Maybe this thing was a waste of money. Well - you ARE losing weight . So, while you are freaking out and upset - it is coming off in little increments. Just like it came on - one day you looked in the mirror or on a picture and WHAM - you were fat. Now you do the same thing and WHAM - you aren't. It just takes a while and lets face it - 10 pounds on a skinny person is noticeable, but it ain't on us!! 10, then 20, then 30, then 40 and now 50. Today I am wearing a size 18 pant and my shirt is not hanging past my crotch - it is resting around my curvy waist and it just all of a sudden happened! Boom - 6 months and it is happening! I was over 300 pounds when this started and now that I am under 240 you would think that I still feel like a cow - but I don't - I feel and look awesome and it is only going to get better. I love my band and I am so happy I made it throught those first awful months to get here. I couldn't see it then, but it happened when I wasn't looking and here I am - I can cross my legs comfortably and get dressed quickly instead of crying at the closet and refusing to go anywhere. I feel so good and it is only going to get better from here. Don't give up, don't quit, keep going and keep trying. At this point, I don't even think about food the same. I look at tv commercials of food and I used to get anxious and start hunting for food, but now, my mind says "oh, that looks good! Well, its not that great" and then I just forget about it. I actually turn food down now because I really don't want it. I don't eat because food is there or I feel pressure and panic to eat, I forget about food all the time and just go about my life. I am thinking like a normal person and I never believed I could do that. I feel so empowered and amazing. All of the other diets I have been on were fake, false, untrue - I knew I was pushing against something I could only fight for so long and then then beast would take over again - this time feels so different - it feels liket the beast is finally dead and the real me is in charge. I understand why some people think they have conquered the beast finally and have the band removed - your mind changes so much you believe that you don't need the physical restraint anymore - it is that powerful! I won't be fooled into that - the physical band is necessary to keep my mind in check. It is no longer a struggle - it is something I monitor and keep on top of - but not a burden and I feel HOPEFUL, not HOPELESS. Thank you GOD for blessing me and answering my prayers! Life is good and I deserve to be well. I was sick with obesity for a long time and now I am recovering, thanks to this procedure. You can recover too. It doesn't happen over night, but it does happen.......don't give up. Soon you will be the one writing your story for others! Think ahead and keep going....trust in the Lord and trust in yourself. I pray for all of us who are burdened with the sickness and disease of obesity and our ongoing recovery. We deserve to be well - and SKINNY!!!!

6 months out - good weight loss - quite a few PB incidents - learning every day. I have noticed though that I get pain in my salivary glands where my jaw hinges sometimes when I eat and it is tight or I slime. It causes a major headache I can't get rid of. Sometimes I get it even if I don't feel tight. Just slowly ate some mashed potatoes and my head is killing me - radiating from my salivary glands. ANYONE ELSE>?????

Dr Ortiz - Monday the 17th YIKES!

Dr Ortiz - Monday the 17th YIKES!

Okay- I have calmed down now - just last minute crises. I am still going through with it - I have to. I will just be really really careful, slow down, chew carefully and carry a vomit bag with me. What do the initials PB stand for anyway? Puke Band? Thanks for the encouragement...

Terri Doodle - You seem wise - before I jump off this "band" wagon adn cancel my surgery for fear of a lifetime of pain, PBing, slime, agony, vomit bags in my purse and multiple cc changes - can I just eat very carefully - always chewing to the nth degree and make it okay?? Please say yes - right now I seem to be putting it in God's hands and yours too - no pressure, though!

Bubble butt - whats up with the Yikes I have to do it quote?!? Are you just trying to help out the spelling disabled?

Okay kids - let's sit nice in circle time. we are all in this together, so to speak. Thanks for your time to post. The first time I read this forum, I had to admit - everyone seemed kind of weird and "band" nerdy, if you know what I mean, but now I am one of the nerdiest! I love this forum and it is so helpful to me, since this is truly the scariest thing I have ever done in my life! Blessings to everyone and may you all find happiness in smaller packages....Noahs Mommy (temporarily a chubby one)