JustWatchMe

One day after this divorce ink is dry, and I have a couple hundred dollars to spend, I'm going to an event like that. Can't wait.

Sorry for your bad experience. I'm watching this thread too to learn from it.

Fortune cookies. "You will have great success and achieve your dreams. And this cookie has no calories."

Neil Diamond was terrific ! Today I got half of my stairs in and couldn't walk at lunch. food is moderate. I've got a whole lot of divorce paperwork to do tonight and tomorrow. Ugh. Well, gotta do it!

Awesome ! I use the iPhone app so I can't see whatever's under people's names, including mine.

I'm a little confused. If I see this thread does that mean I'm a VIP member? Glad to be here.

I'm no longer a secret eater. I no longer subscribe to an all-or-nothing mentality.

I thought that getting WLS was going to be hard. Turns out, it was pretty easy. I had great insurance and got approval and had surgery six months after starting my process. I thought losing the first 100 pounds was going to be hard. Turns out, with my LapBand, it was pretty easy. My body cooperated with my band and when I ate right, the weight came off. I thought leaving my emotionally abusive husband was going to be hard. Turns out, once I took control of my food and my body and got out of my food coma, leaving him was pretty easy. Logistically tricky, but with reliance on friends and family and a good lawyer, leaving was only temporarily difficult. I thought the divorce process would be hard. Turns out, it is stressful and emotional, but the actual tasks put in front of me, although tedious and time consuming, are just tasks. I am blessed with a good job and resources that many women don't have. The slowness of it is harder than the tasks in front of me. I thought walking for exercise was going to be hard. Turns out, it is the one exercise I love and have not grown tired of. I can walk for miles with ease. I thought asking for help was going to be hard. Turns out, like exercising a muscle, the more I do it, the easier it gets. I thought being kind to myself was going to be easy. I was wrong. Oh, was I wrong. Oh, I've learned it's okay and necessary to treat myself to little things, like a manicure, or a foot massage, or a movie. But then there's the other things. And I can't help wondering if these other things have a lot to do with why I overeat and stayed obese for so long. Like saying no to people. I say no. But then I go into "shoulda woulda coulda" and feel guilty about it. Like reaching for comfort food or wine once in awhile. And then I start the tape in my head that says I'm bad, I'm lazy, I'm never going to get to my goal weight because I don't deserve to. Like going out with friends and holding my head up high because I feel pretty for the first time in years. And when a musician in a band notices and makes a sweet comment about the "beautiful women in the room tonight" and points directly at me, I find the next opportunity to gather my things and call it an early evening, because to flirt would be bad, and I don't deserve that kind of attention. Like getting a strong lawyer who is fighting for my financial rights and future, but crying at night because this divorce would go so much faster if I just didn't fight for the college money for my girls or maintenance for myself; because if I wanted out so bad, shouldn't I just cut my losses and end this? Like not losing any weight for the last six months even though I have fifty left to goal, and telling myself it will never happen because I've never followed through on a goal weight before and what makes me think this time is any different? Like standing up to my mom's criticisms in person, but in private wondering if she is right about me -- that I'm making a big mistake doing this or that or the other thing, and remembering how judged I felt my whole childhood and adolescence and wondering if she was right about me all along? This is what is hard. Calling bulls!# on these thoughts and patterns and habits. My higher self knows it. But it's so DAMN HARD to stop the negative thought cycle, that shi##y committee in my head. Attitude is everything. I just turned 54 over the weekend and birthdays make me reflective. I have what may prove to be my best year ever ahead of me. God willing, I may see divorce papers signed in 2015. Maybe. I'm 100 pounds lighter than I was a year ago and healthier than I have been in decades. I may be moving into a new home by the end of the year. There is every reason to be hopeful. So why does my sick brain still gravitate toward self blame and misery? Why, why don't I believe I deserve happiness? I may never know why. I'm a practical person. I believe in results. So what I'm planning to do about this is purely practical. It may or may not have any basis in psychology, but it seems reasonable to me. I plan to abort those thoughts the second I sense them in my head. Literally catch myself and interrupt it with the opposite thought. I do deserve joy. I do choose healthy food and I will meet my weight loss goal. That person that said I was beautiful was telling the truth. I choose to believe my older daughter who just told me I am strong and a role model. I believe my younger daughter who just told me I've always got her back. I am deserving of financial security and what is rightfully mine. I am deserving of a slim body and to feel pretty. Accepting attention is not shameful. I make good decisions. I take care of my loved ones and I am a good mother. I am smart and strong and pretty and nobody's fool. I am precious in God's eyes and I will live my best life. This is the hard part. This is the only hard part. The head is always the hardest part to change.

@@2babutterfly, we are all rooting for that scale to drop into the 1's!!! My plan is solid. I probably won't be on here until Wednesday. Carry on, Warriors! I've got me some Neil Diamond tonight!

The support here is humbling. Thank you. You've given me a lot to think about. Healthy thinking!

Got my stairs in but no walk today. Misty and rainy so I skipped it. Breakfast was yogurt, lunch was three cheese sticks. dinner out was salad, seafood and two bites of the Pasta which I boxed up and took home. My mom said she'll eat the pasta for lunch tomorrow. My latest fill gets me stuck easily if I don't chew well and slow down, so I've been chewing well and slowing down. I didn't weigh myself this weekend since it was my birthday and I allowed myself to indulge. I'll weigh next weekend. Off to a concert tomorrow night with my best friend. Tomorrow will be sausage links for breakfast, cheese sticks for lunch, and egg salad for dinner before heading to the concert. If the weather is dry I'll walk on lunch.

Does anybody remember a few decades ago the conventional wisdom about fat cells? Once added by weight gain, they never go away? Even with dramatic weight loss, those shriveled up fat cells remain in the body just waiting to pounce on calories and plump themselves up again? That mental image has never left me. It makes me so mad that these skinny shriveled cells are just lying in wait. I think it was actually what the liposuction industry used to convince us that lipo was a way to solve that. Actually remove the skinny shriveled fat cells along with plump fat cells once and for all. Not saying it's true. Just saying it stuck with me. Kinda like these fat cells.

Debbie, your pics made my day!!! I saw at least one person I recognized from TV. Go girl!!

I'm watching and learning from everyone on BariatricPal. If complications happen despite my best efforts, at the very least I hope I'll recognize abnormal symptoms before too much time passes. ((Hugs))

Don't get discouraged if it changes over time. Mine did. I had green for a few months and then went for more TINY fills. Your body is shrinking and it changes how the band fits with lots of weight loss. The beauty of the band is it is always adjustable. Enjoy this. It should get easier to lose now.

Could be! Satiety should last at least 3-4 hours on a band sized meal as well. Good luck!

This was a great NSV to read! Congratulations on your success!!

As we lose the weight, we see sides of people we didn't or weren't willing to see before. I'm glad you called her on it while it was happening. And touching your hair? Ew.

Eat mushies all weekend and then have a tiny bit taken out Monday.

I've gotten into the habit of giving my restaurant leftovers to my friend before we leave the restaurant. Usually it's a side of pasta. I know I won't eat it at home, so since it's untouched, I just give it to her to enjoy. Works well whenever we go out for Italian.

I wore these grown up shoes last week. They were a size smaller than I expected. I haven't worn a heel in forever. My foot bones are perpetually messed up, so I paid dearly in painful feet the rest of the week, but while I wore them I felt great.

I attend OA and CoDA. They are part of a multi faceted approach to recovery that also includes counseling.

I know what you mean. It's weird. I can't tell for the first 48 hours because I'm required to do liquids. But then it's hard to tell what the fill actually did. I can eat a normal supper and feel no restriction. And then the very next day I can get stuck on my first bite of dinner. The more fills I get, the finer that line gets. I just need to learn to chew chew chew and s l o w it down.

Normal! Don't worry. Post surgery is an emotional rollercoaster of a time. Follow directions, cut yourself a break, stay off the scale, and before you know it, you will start to drop the weight and feel amazing. Your whole life is about to change for the better. We are here for you!