JustWatchMe

When I read this I thought it was a stress reaction. Bandista made good points too. Was DD a binge shop for you before? Today I saw another college mom I haven't seen in two years. Our daughters roomed together as freshmen and sophomores and are rooming together again as seniors. She has not seen me (except for a Christmas card photo) since my surgery. I am 100 pounds lighter than the last time she saw me. She told me I looked great and I thanked her, but inside I was thinking I looked pudgy, dumpy and a hot mess because I wasn't wearing my body shaper under my t-shirt, my hair was pulled up in a ponytail, and I had minimal makeup on. Nuts, right? This negative self talk is so hard to battle!!!

Oh, you help every time you post. This thread in particular has been an anchor for me. Real life, real people, real problems, real solutions. I need to get honest about the self medicating I am doing with food and alcohol and "occasional" pain pills for arthritis. It's been an escape. A way to numb out. No, not at crisis level or even noticeable by anybody except me. No binging. Just hiding out in the movie theater every week, sometimes twice a week, because they serve food (crapcorn by the bucket) and wine. And taking a pain pill mid day not because I've walked a 5k or climbed hills and stairs at a state park, but because I want to feel relaxed and not anxious by evening. It's time to get real. These behaviors are keeping me stuck and they are dangerous. I've shared this with my OA and CODA groups and now with you here. Other travelers on the path to wholeness. I can't get better in my isolated bubble. I'm watching a dear friend lose a little more of her 20-year old son each day to severe alcoholism. It's smacking me upside my head. Just be who you are. And I will do the same. You all inspire me.

I had an epiphany last night. For months, I've been feeling so stuck, like a failure, and and at the mercy of my fears (divorce) and sadness (recent events and empty nest with girls returning to college tomorrow). This seems so simple, yet it took until yesterday to hit me at a gut level: pre-stall, when my food was in order and I was exercising, I could handle anything. Anything. The worst days in the previous year and a half didn't derail me because I was actively, daily, taking care of myself. All I need to take care of is today. All I need to do is me. For today, I will eat healthy. I will move my body. I will not indulge in trigger foods or trigger alcohol. Those start the emotional downturn. Maybe I needed this stuck time to refocus. Who knows. I want my mojo back. It's all up to me.

I'm far from goal but yes. I wear button-front blouses now that they don't gap when I sit down. I wear skinny jeans. I wear rings and bracelets. I cut my hair to shoulder length this month and love it. I replaced my makeup foundation with a simple sunscreen and powder and I look younger for it. I wore a dress for the first time in a decade or more this spring. Bought a pair of heels too. My advice is don't wait for goal. Do it now.

What if I looked at the scale this morning and it said I was at my goal weight? What if it was real, and all my excess weight was gone? How would I spend my day? Would I eat well? Would I exercise happily? Would I congratulate my fabulous self and walk around with a big grin? Would I put myself "out there" more and participate in new things? Today I am acting as if I am at my goal weight. Where the mind goes, the body will follow. Who's with me?

Oh I wish I could. I've tried a few times but my arthritic right knee still screams in pain on the up bend. I had really hoped 100 pounds down would eliminate the pain but it only lessened it a bit. I have fifty left to lose so we will see if getting to goal makes any difference.

Debbie, it's so hard to watch a loved one in this disease. Your park pictures made me smile this morning. I, too, went to several outdoor music events this summer for the first time. I was so happy to have fun and be able to stand without pain. My mom is young as well. Twenty years older than me, but lives the life of someone forty years older. She's always been that way. I realized recently that at the age I am now, my mom was already using a motorized chair at Disneyworld when we went on a family vacation. I was headed for that life too until WLS . I am so grateful for this second chance at life. I don't ever want to forget or take it for granted.

I always appreciate your posts. You tell it like it is in real life.

You are my hero.

You can do it.

This post wins the day.

My doctor told me no swimming for six weeks. Just my experience.

After this heavy, heavy week I came home from my therapist appointment all cried out and exhausted. Leaned over in the bathroom and finally paid the piper for my bad habit of tucking my phone in my bra. Yep, my iPhone fell right in the toilet. There must be a five second rule for phones in toilets, or else I have a really good phone case, because it survived without incident. So I have that going for me. ????????????5⃣????

Please don't worry. This far post op it is very common to gain a few pounds back. You've been on liquids pre op and eating very little right after surgery. Then your body swells from the surgery. Then you start to eat full liquids or soft foods. The small gain will come back off, I promise. Stay active and stay on your food plan. It will all start coming off quickly again, soon. Congrats and good luck !

My divorce lawyer has this on a plaque on her desk.

That's amazing! You really nailed it how life completely changes once we are not lugging around an extra hundred or more pounds. I hiked a state park this week. Seven miles and 59 floors climbed, according to my Fitbit. My arthritic knee hurt like hell the next day, but not once was I out of breath. It's such a glorious miracle to get our lives back. I haven't tried a Water park yet. My baggy ass swimsuit won't quite cut it. Maybe next summer! Loved this post!

The wake and service were standing room only for four hours. We were in line for two hours and then the service began. Hundreds of young people. I stood next to a young man that sobbed the entire time. My daughter stood with her small group of study abroad friends. After the eulogy, the reverend asked for people to share memories. My daughter had prepared something and she talked for a minute. Afterward, the young man's girlfriend Kaylie came up to my daughter and they both cried. The young man's parents thanked my daughter for the video she made of their son with the highlights from their trip to Spain. They said they had been watching it over and over. They asked for her phone number and the mom asked my daughter if she could call her in the coming weeks. My daughter has hundreds of photos from the Spain trip on her camera. She is planning to put together an album for his family and give it to them later. I hate the word closure but that's the best word I can think of. We are headed back home today.

Body tissues can swell during flight. Think of your feet and ankles. You can't predict if your stomach tissue will swell, leading to more band restriction or tightness, so the general advice is drink plenty of Water before and during your flight, eat before you fly, and no food during or right after your flight. A few hours afterward, start slow with soft food. I flew to Italy a couple of weeks after my first fill. I followed these directions and had no problems. I actually did eat a few bites of a meal on the trip home. But I was also not very filled either. So play it safe and eat right before. Hydrate hydrate hydrate!!!

You are not alone feeling this way. But let me tell you. Six months to a year from now post op, you will be amazed at your transformation. Health and attitude will have changed 180 degrees. You will be able to and want to walk and move your body. I joined a frickin gym! Me! On purpose! Please let go of the guilt. WLS saved my LIFE. I work my ass off now trying to lose my last fifty pounds. The LapBand made the first hundred down comparatively easy. WLS operates on the stomach, not the brain. There is so much more work to do besides putting the fork down. But until my WLS helped me put that fork down, nothing happened. I was trapped in a living death. My surgery was simply the first step in a chain of events that is changing my life.

I'm temporarily living with my mother, who is obese and fully into her own food addiction. I am forever hearing that I keep "too much food" in the refrigerator (kale, tomatoes, yogurt, cheese, peppers, Soups, leftovers from restaurants), and there is "no room for my food" (crap, crap and more crap).

Simply beautiful. Beautiful pictures. Beautiful message.

Wow. I was told low carbs, high protein. Talk to the doctor.

Yes!! I forgot about simply standing!! No back pain. Ever. Miracle, I tell ya.

That's a hard one, isn't it?? What helped me was to drink a lot right before eating. A glass or two of Water. Then have the water removed from the table or put your napkin over it, or put salt in it, or whatever you have to do to not touch it again. My doc lets me drink up to the first bite and then not until twenty minutes after the meal. Use whatever tricks you need to. But hydrating right before the first bite helps me a lot.

I ended up going to St. Louis with my daughter. Her somewhat flaky friend ended up having car insurance issues and their driving plans ended up very sketchy Friday afternoon. So I threw some clothes in a bag and here we are. This will be a very difficult day for so many people, many of them college kids. The wake and service start late this afternoon. This same week, one of my best friends left her husband of thirty years. It was not a surprise and she gave him months of warning. They sold their house. The day before the house closing, he attempted suicide. He is now in a psych ward and she is left to deal with the mess. He underwent five rounds of kidney dialysis to clean his system of the overdose of lithium, Tylenol and some other medicine he took. His 20 year old son found him in the garage. It doesn't appear that he did any permanent damage to his brain. Suicide is surrounding us this week. I am praying daily for the people in my life. It seems that although there are more options for mental help and treatment than ever before, somehow people still don't find what they need. So much to process. I'm glad I'm here for my daughter even if she didn't initially want me on this trip. I can't imagine being away from her right now. I apologize for bringing this thread down. It's been a difficult week and this has been my only safe outlet. My friend's family privacy prohibits me from discussing her situation with others in my life. My daughter feels the same way about her friend. Thank God I have a therapy appointment Tuesday. My therapist will get an earful for sure.