snowkitten

@drmeow – Yes I’ve done quite a bit of soul searching and have come up with a few reasons to my weight issues. Started when I was very young. The genes in my family are actually to be extremely skinny, but I have CVID (an immune deficiency) that makes me sick a lot. When I was an infant I would get seizures when I got over heated/a fever. This made my mom switch my time schedule so I lived at night and slept during the day (can’t be very active at night), and then a particularly bad seizure had the doctors convincing my mom to put me on a medication. This medication, while saved my life, slowed me down and increased my appetite. Since I was living at night, food became an activity. Then things turned emotional. I had gained a little weight and got teased by peers and siblings. That’s when I started eating for comfort (which ended up being compounded by many hard times and abuse). Somewhere along the way (probably about the time I started getting sick a lot) I started eating for energy, that’s my worse habit, I get sick, have no energy, and to make it through my many obligations I grab a high carb snack for a quick lift. And because im sick, I don’t have the energy to exercise it off. Now all that compounded by the fact that I have PCOS, and an extreamly stressfull life (wont go into it) and its no wonder im overweight lol. I am working on all this though. I realize that it wont all be fixed right away, or even within a year. Im well aware that its an ongoing progress, I just keep sliping . Thank you for the suggestion of the book, I will look into that. Is there a specific book of the series you would suggest?

@@Alex Brecher your right, I do know im not a failure for being at 278. I’m very extatic that I’ve lost all the extra weight I gained. I think why im feeling like a failure is twofold 1. Ive read that were supposed to lose between 50-60% of our excess weight, and if we don’t, the surgery is considered a failure. 2. I’ve had bad eating habits (even tho I eat under 1200 calories a day, I’ve eaten a lot of crap) and I havn’t exercised as much as I should. I KNOW I could do better, its in my power and I know that…. And that is what ive failed at. I do like your idea of giving myself more time and focusing on other things. Im going to try the one day at a time thing. I think I get too overwhelmed when I think long term. Hmm, its very possible that the fear of failure is holding me back. Im a big people pleaser so failing the expectations of people (namely the surgeon) terrifies me. Know of any way to get over the fear? I appreciate all your suggestions, you’ve given me much to think about and I promise I will ponder it completely.

@@Countessjessless a particularly nasty cough can still continue after the infection had cleared with antibiotics. It's called a post infection cough. They can last about a month. Not fun. If you find that your short of breath, wheezing or its getting worse try going back to your pcp for a different antibiotic. Sometimes the bug doesn't respond to one kind. Hope you feel better soon. It will all be worth it when your buying those new cute clothes

Lmao @@VSGAnn2014

Your right, that would be awesome to see how it compares ! I think the biggest difference is that the one on my fitness pal is only based on numbers where as the one at the gym is based on numbers AND your oxygen levels. I'm really curious to know why it is I only eat 800-1200 calories and I'm not losing. I'll keep u informed

So im very proud of myself. I have reached 10,000 step every day, included a small amount of cardio (i need to build up), Eaten about 800 calories every day of healthy food (with an exception of a few slips), but most of all, I did this while being sick (sinus infection/chest crud). In the past i would use feeling this bad to sit on my butt or eat bad, but this time ive pushed through. Im just hoping it goes away soon, im exhausted!

I didn't get it done at either, they didnt even mention it....I had to make an appointment with someone at my gym.

They use a machine to test your oxygen or something and it tells u how fast or slow your metabolism is.... I'll let you know more details after I get it done. Apt is wensday

My cycle has been so off its insane. I use the ring so I can control when I have a period. Or at least that was one of the reasons I started that.... since surgery I usually get my cycle every two weeks, even with the ring in, and I bloat about 10lbs and crave carbs like I will kill for them lol. Your not alone

Perhaps you should find a different Dr for the psych eval. Those seem like illogical expectations. My psychiatrist asked if I understood the ramifications of a lifetime change, if I understood I would have to take vitamins for life, we talked about my support system (lucky for me my husband and I have been her patients for over 3 years so she knows how stable my support system is). And she asked if I was aware that with my illness that I would get sicker right away before I got better. The eval is pretty much just making sure you understand this is a major surgery.

I found that it took until I was 7 1/2 months out before I could eat bread. Prior to this I would vomit if I ate it

Is she pmsing?? I gain 5-10 lbs every time I pms... and unfortunately I'm one of those people who have frequent times of the month. It can be quite discouraging but thankfully I know it's just water.

Thank u for respinding. I was beginning to think no one would. So as long as u eat about that amount you will lose? Mind I ask how much u weight? I have an appointment next week to have mine dont. I'm excited. I've been eating 1000-1200 and not losing so I'm curious as to the results.

@@BigDreams2014 I'm by no means an expert but I would try cutting out the protein drinks.

@tlemieux220 thanks for the positive words. Good job on realizing and admitting that youve had a few falls. I stuck my head in the sand that early out. Wish i hadn't. Most important thing is your keep getting back up, good for you!

@@CowgirlJane yeah this has definetly been a struggle. Its actually really great to hear that it didn't come easy for some. Not that im happy that you had a tough time, but youve been one of my inspirations since i started this site and its nice to know even with the troubles you made goal. What was your exercise regimen ? How many calories did you stick to. Did you do low carb? Hmm, i never thought of sweating as a badge of honor. I think its been soo ingrained in me that its something "wrong" with me that its due to my being fat that I only associate the two together. Next time I go to the gym ill try putting myself in that frame of mind

Thanks casey235!

@@CowgirlJane the DS would have been my first choice if it were offered where I live (alaska). Unfortunately the only options are band, sleeve, bypass. I really wanted the bypass but because of a medical condition, I have to have regular EGDs to check for stomach cancer. Leaving the rest of my stomach in an out of the way area that's hard to view would be illogical for me. Travel to get it done is not an option either (lots of family stress I won't go into). I'm not so sure the DS would be smart tho. Yes I agree, long term success is definitely up to us, and I refuse to regain.

@@2bullymom I read those stories too. Or the ones where people who had surgery the same month as me are now meeting their goal weight. That's really hard. Your right, we should stop comparing ourselves. Lol easier said than done!

@@sharonintx my surgeon gave me the time frame. He said with a surgery weight of 347 I should be 230 by my 1 year mark. So far I'm 278 and 4 months to go. I really like your philosophy of doing a little better every day. I tend to be an all or nothing kinda person. So if I cheat a little I end up cheating alot cause I feel like I failed.

@@robym123 thanks, I'm trying. It's easier said then done but I'm gonna try. I was worried about my family changing their lives too but my husband wants to do it with me, and my 3 y/o doesn't need the junk. My mom and brother can keep their goodies in their rooms where it's not temping me lol.

@@MyNewLife28 yeah I can see how that could make you more self aware. When I was a teen I had a hormone problem that caused me to sweat alot. And of course, the more I sweat, the more it triggered my anxiety, and so on.... I hope you get the chill effect. If u do, I suggest buying an electric blanket. I love mine!

@MyNewLife28 Thats so funny, I've never met anyone else who has an adversion to sweating!! My mom teases me that I have a fear of sweat. I actually think she's right. I HATE it. Not the exercise, just the sweating. And those stares you get from people when your sweating. For me walking and hiking will have to be my fun activity. Thankfully summer in alaska is great for both.

@robym123 I think its natural to be scared at this point. Its great that your doing your research. This website is very helpfull. To answer your question: Im going to buy weights for home so i have no excuse when i cant make it to the gym. Now that its summer Im taking my son to the park alot (While he plays i plan to walk around the park with my hubby to get in my 10000 steps), Im going back to tracking every morsal of food, Im not going to allow soda in my house, and no more buying goodies for others. Im going to get an assessment done at my local gym. IM going to weigh myself and log it every day (so far i only log it if i've lost, i think for my own peice of mind i need to know the trend of which days i gain because when i PMS i gain ALOT and that always depresses me). Im going to find hobbies to do when my hands are itchy to graze. Cut out carbs with meals. And most importantly, get back to reading this website everyday. Its hard to be bad when I'm reading this site!

@@robym123 I completly know that feeling. I had it before and i have it now. Wish I had some great advice of wisdom for you. @@Mremilio Yeah I think thats something i have to keep reminding myself. I keep thinking that if i dont loose all my weight in the "designated time" then im a failure.