Jennifer P.

Hello!  My name is Jennifer.  I have been married for 24 years and have three grown children ages 24-21-20.  As a child I was thin I mean nothing I could ever do could possibly make me gain weight.  I am blessed to have had a great family growing up but money was tight.  We went many nights eating pasta and red sauce.  I still can't eat it to this day.  I remember eating so much stuffing myself until I couldn't eat anymore.  I liked the way that felt!  Food was portioned I guess.  Like if you had dessert it was like I could have a piece two inches long and my brother a piece two inches long and so on.  I would carefully slice someone's dessert thinking I could make a clean cut and no one would notice of course they always did notice.  My sweet tooth is enormous! 

When I was sixtee my father died at the age of 39 yrs old.  One minute he was here and the next he was gone.  He was in a car accident coming home from work, he worked as a piano player and singer.  I was daddys little girl and this rocked my world!  I did anything I could to fill that void it felt like the gaping hole in my chest was too much to handle.  I did everything from eating my face off to drinking to much.  When I ate the pain would go away for a while and I was happy.  That was all that mattered at the time was that I was happy for a minute.

When I was in my 20's I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and was started on medication.  In one year I had gained 100 lbs.  I decided that I had to make a decision.  Which was more important my mental health or my physical health?  The answer was my mental health.  My sweet tooth continued to grow to the point where I was eating all most nothing but sweets.  I was waking up in the morning planning out my day what I was going to eat for the day.  I had to make sure I went to the store every day to get my fix.  I made my husband take me out to eat all the time and got very angry when that didn't happen.  Big ice cream sundays, chocolate cream pies, canoli's and anything else I could get my hands on.  My husband never treated me differntly and I never had to hide my eating habits from him.  He is thin and uncomfortable with my diet because he is worried about me but I can be strong willed and just say "I don't like it when you tell me what to do!"  And that would fix that!

January of 2008 I was diangosed with Sarcoidosis and it took five years for the doctors to finally figure out what it was.  One of the treatments for Sarcoidosis is steroids.  You think your hungry now go on steroids!  Multiply that by a hundred!  But now I had an excuse to eat even more and it was acceptable!  One of the medications I went on along with the steroids was Azathioprine or Imuran.  I knew the medicine was dangerous but I was desperate.  I was told the possible side effects including cancer but decided I had no choice I had to do something.  Unfortunately I was never told that it can also cause Chronic Pancreatitis which has devestated me until present day.  Most people with pancreatitis loose weight but not me!  I either stay the same or gain!  I am the only fat a** with pancreatitis!  Pancreatitis effects how I eat what I can eat I don't eat too much but when I do feel good I go right for that cheesecake or sweets!

My husband and I talked about it and decided that it was time to do something about it.  I've tried Atkins Weight Watchers watching calories and then watching fat.  It would work for a minute but then I was right back where I was plus more weight.  My feelings are that when you get this big loosing all this weight seems impossible all thought I've seen it done.  I am ready to change my life however my physical health is not great and somethings gotta give.  I'm excited about having this surgery and look forward to learning from all of y ou.