Angelica

Done and Done =)

Hey Ladies =) Okay, so today was supposed to be my offical countdown of walking at 100 miles before my one year anniversary. Didnt happen. My best friend got busted for Shoplifting (what the hell was she thinking?!?) and instead I spent the entire day dealing with her kiddos and coming up with bail money (which my boyfriend gave me to save up for a car, so she had better return it) I'm a little stressed out about the whole thing, and I didnt follow one rule today, ate around the band, and had all sorts of sodas and Cookies, and I know, I sabotaged myself because I couldnt deal with my emotions. I seems like everyone is sick these days. I have had viral bronchitis for about a week now, and its not horrible, because its helped me quit smoking (again, its going to stick this time, I am trying to use Abrahams law and will it into existance here). So I hope everyone else is feeling better, because I am hoping to be over this by next Wednesday. It was stressful to say the least. I dont care who screws up their lives tomorrow, I dont care how needy my boyfriend is, I dont care who is pulling me in what direction. I am getting some walking in under my belt tomorrow if it KILLS me. -A

=) Okay, so, things are good. Lets play catchup: I got a boyfriend, he moved in, we're in love, things are awesome. Hes HUGE. Like six foot four, makes me feel safe, makes me feel SMALL. He told me I was tiny the other day =) His name is Raul, and I had dated him before, but it fell apart for various reasons, and now its back on. I'm happy. My bestie ray and I arent besties anymore. He did something really vile, and I cant talk about it, because I am still moving through the stages of dealing with it. Once I own it and its mine, I will be more willing to discuss. I still have issues, but my fill is strong, and my band is helping me. I have lost about 50-55 lbs (I never weigh myself) and i am down to a size 20 in jeans, and like a 14/16 in tops. I have a small butt, and thin legs, but that big stupid gut. I hate it =( I am moving along steadily. I just keep eating better, and fixing my attitude, and I feel like I am doing well, its been 10 months, almost, I'd like to lose a total of 75 lbs the first year and 50-65 the second year. I feel like its a feasible realisitic goal. I learned that you dont always have to rush everything. I've got to look up the prices of tailors, I need to have my pants tailored, so that I can actually fit into them. The legs of my pants are so big and sloppy, but the waist fits. Its sort of a cycle I guess. I will have them tailored. I am still plugging away at the same job. Its fine. Its not fantastic, but my insurance company is going to pay for my skin removal after I lose 100 pounds, and I am having my accessory breast tissue (side boobs, hot pockets, little bunches of grossness in my armpits) and my pannus removed hopefully in January after six months. My first consult with the plastic surgeon is on the 26th, and I am exicted and nervous. Its so hard to work out, because I get this terrible rash on the pannus, and on top of that, its always flip flopping everywhere like a dead fish. Gross. Chop that shit off. I'm sick now, with something in my lungs, its hideous. I have been sick since last Monday, but the doctor told me it was viral bronchitis and I couldnt take any antibiotics for it. The truth is, I dont know if I want to take antibiotics anymore because I feel like my body needs to stand up for itself :thumbup: I stopped smoking, which i know is part of the reason why I am STILL sick. I know that your lungs move all sorts of gross stuff up when you quit smoking, and I expect to be sick for a while, so I am just trying to grin and bear it, because smoking is really kinda lame. I never realized how much I stunk. :smile2: -A :tongue2:

=) Okay, so, things are good. Lets play catchup: I got a boyfriend, he moved in, we're in love, things are awesome. Hes HUGE. Like six foot four, makes me feel safe, makes me feel SMALL. He told me I was tiny the other day =) His name is Raul, and I had dated him before, but it fell apart for various reasons, and now its back on. I'm happy. My bestie ray and I arent besties anymore. He did something really vile, and I cant talk about it, because I am still moving through the stages of dealing with it. Once I own it and its mine, I will be more willing to discuss. I still have issues, but my fill is strong, and my band is helping me. I have lost about 50-55 lbs (I never weigh myself) and i am down to a size 20 in jeans, and like a 14/16 in tops. I have a small butt, and thin legs, but that big stupid gut. I hate it =( I am moving along steadily. I just keep eating better, and fixing my attitude, and I feel like I am doing well, its been 10 months, almost, I'd like to lose a total of 75 lbs the first year and 50-65 the second year. I feel like its a feasible realisitic goal. I learned that you dont always have to rush everything. I've got to look up the prices of tailors, I need to have my pants tailored, so that I can actually fit into them. The legs of my pants are so big and sloppy, but the waist fits. Its sort of a cycle I guess. I will have them tailored. I am still plugging away at the same job. Its fine. Its not fantastic, but my insurance company is going to pay for my skin removal after I lose 100 pounds, and I am having my accessory breast tissue (side boobs, hot pockets, little bunches of grossness in my armpits) and my pannus removed hopefully in January after six months. My first consult with the plastic surgeon is on the 26th, and I am exicted and nervous. Its so hard to work out, because I get this terrible rash on the pannus, and on top of that, its always flip flopping everywhere like a dead fish. Gross. Chop that shit off. I'm sick now, with something in my lungs, its hideous. I have been sick since last Monday, but the doctor told me it was viral bronchitis and I couldnt take any antibiotics for it. The truth is, I dont know if I want to take antibiotics anymore because I feel like my body needs to stand up for itself I stopped smoking, which i know is part of the reason why I am STILL sick. I know that your lungs move all sorts of gross stuff up when you quit smoking, and I expect to be sick for a while, so I am just trying to grin and bear it, because smoking is really kinda lame. I never realized how much I stunk. :w00t: -A :tt2:

ugh, i ate a snickers bar over the course of the day, but I did manage to avoid the soda. So far, thats been it, when I get home, it'll probably be vegetables with ground turkey (I'm trying only to eat solids, and not drink before or after the meal, you know the deal) I really like my job, but Jesus Christ, why are they always passing out candy, and why do I always give into it? My boyfriend and I had an arguement about this last night, he took the opprotunity to tell me that generally addicts are self involved people who have never been denied anything, and subsequently, they dont know how to deny anything to themselves. Most of the time hes really a calm patient guy, but I guess hes on his little weight loss trip (at six foot, four inches, and 230 lbs, how much more weight is this dude going to lose?). Its frustrating because he thinks he knows everything about the band (he only knows what I have told him and what hes seen on big medicine) and then on top of it, hes called me jack the ripper before because I told him my intentions of getting a tummy tuck. =( Then, he goes on to tell me that he will pay the rent and the household bills for the next six months so I can save up any money I may need for my plastics. Sometimes, I dont know what to think. He threw a fit because I asked him not to bring cokes into the house, and now hes all gung ho talking about how he read foodnetwork.com and hes got some really good looking low calorie recipies. Oh hes weird, but I love him. I'm going swimming when I get home for an hour, doing laps, I got these neat little weights that go on your ankle while you swim, so I will try them out today, they are only 7 lbs each. -A

Oh, I'm glad I found this thread :wink2: Angelica - banded on the 23rd of October, 2007. I must admit, this has been a really difficult thing for me. Its difficult to admit that weight is not coming off as fast as it COULD, but thats all my fault. So, I am putting myself back on track too. I have lost EXACTLY 50 lbs since I underwent surgery. My goal is to look awesome in a halloween costume. This will happen. (I am planning on being Dr Girlfriend from the Venture Brothers cartoon on cartoon network) so today, I drank my salad (this is what I call jucing a bunch of vegetables, I've been doing this for years, and its something I MIGHT have to rethink) generally, I dont juice high sugar things. I juiced (for my boyfriend and I) a head of romaine lettuce, a cucumber, and a pear. It was delicious. Its hard to be fat, and a health nut. I also had about 3/4 of a chicken breast and maybe a cup of Pasta with pesto sauce. Thats it for today so far, save the Water. My biggest deal right now is SODA. I never even DRANK soda until I got banded, and now I generally shake it up so all the fizzies come out, and drink a coke a day. I know this is a really bad habit, and can be really bad for my band, and my pouch, so that is what I am currently working on. I have made it through so many addictions, or mini addicitons as I like to call them since the band. First it was liquor, alot of it, then it moved to fast food, then I started smoking heavily, and now I am at soda, so I guess I am not doing something right, because I keep replacing my habits with another one. I dont know if I can ever break this, honestly, but I do know that while I fight it, I can focus myself on maybe a more healthy addiction, like exercise =) I did housework all day, so I doubt I will exercise today. My boyfriend and I have taken to swimming everyday in the mornings before work. He does this to support me, I do it because I need some sort of exercise, and Jesus, its HOT in El Paso these days. In either case, I am really happy to find you guys, so thanks for the great idea =) -A

Okay, so, I have my consultation appointment on the 26th of August for removal of the pannus and some accessory breast tissue (believe it or not, I hate that stupid breast tissue more than my stomach/loose skin) My insurance will cover both of these procedures (BC/BS Horizon NJ) at 100% with a letter of pre determination. I know I'm in for another fight, but hey, I got them to approve my lapband, right? Does anyone have any words of wisdom as far as paperwork submittal to the insurance company that I can use? I'd really appreciate the help! -A :thumbup:

Maybe I am sounding like I have a huge chip on my sholder, and I probably do. My point really was that its not fair to hold something over someones head. I've had debates that have lasted into the wee hours when men and women start talking about 'slightly damamged 'people' and how you 'should date someone who has something wrong with them because they wont ever leave you'. The whole train of thought is disgusting to me. Being overweight doesnt have to define you as a person, if I were to subscribe to a dating service online I would not select BBW as a way to describe myself. I would describe myself as someone who was smart, and witty, educated, funny, driven, and by the way, I happen to be overweight. I will not tell men, or women, for that matter that I have had WLS, not because I am trying to hide it, but because I dont want to be bothered by their constant questioning about it. I was curious, and looked up all sorts of dating websites, there are a million of them out there. Daters with Sexually transmitted disease, daters for alternative lifestyles, shit, there is even a dating site for people who eat 60% or more raw foods. Its incredible. There is someone for every someone, and I believe that to be true, my someone will be a man who understands who I am, and knows ALL of me, and will not feel the need to define my body shape before he defines anything else. -A