Angelica

Okay, so, I am Jewish, right? My dads side of the family is catholic, my moms side is Jewish. Well, some of my aunts have been 'born again' Christains, which is fine, but Easter is a big deal to you guys! Anyhow, so we got together for Easter celebrations because we dont want to leave anyone out, that isnt nice. My family jumped on my case so bad. 'Why arent you losing weight faster', 'Youre still fat', Why did you have a sugery when you couldnt lose weight faster, 'Are you supposed to eat that', 'Dont vomit on me' Stupid stuff Ignorant stuff, so since half of my family is being kind, and inviting people to an Easter celebration when we dont do the whole Easter thing, I decided that I would drop some knowledge on some people. No, I will NOT lose as much weight as a Gastric Bypass patient as quickly as they will. Yes, I STILL have to diet, no this ISNT the easy way out. I was defensive. I am the tallest woman on that side of my family, and the heaviest. My entire family is under 5'4. They are all blonde, and cute, and have big blue eyes. Angelica is 5'6, shes got really pretty green eyes, brown hair, and a giant gutt. God, I hate this gutt. I wish I had a different body type sometimes, all though I realize, I was lucky to get what I have. I have thinner legs, and no butt, but my upper torso is huge, and I have a hanging pannus. The pannus isnt TOO big, in fact, its getting smaller, but still. I dont like it, its gross. What I have been noticing is that every morning, when I crawl out of bed, I am happy to look at myself in the mirror, I SEE a difference. I am so excited. I am so glad I had this surgery. My friend Priscilla is considering having the surgery as well. I made a commitment to her that I would go to all of her appointments and wait for her so she wouldnt be scared. I have noticed that sweet jesus is it difficult to get back on the straight and narrow when you cheat. Alot of people say that your body craves what you put into it, and I slipped up and ate some crap when my peroid came around, and that just totally messed me up. Now I am struggling to retain some control. I can do this. I CAN do this. My mother also said something the other day that made me want to scream. She said 'I think the reason your belly looks bigger is because the rest of you is getting smaller and its like an optical illusion' THANKS MOM. All of me is getting smaller! I'm excited about my next fill, its a month from now, but I have nice restriction now. Just gotta eat better foods. Better foods, gotta get back on the right track, maybe going grocery shopping would be a good idea? -A :biggrin:

Okay, so, I am Jewish, right? My dads side of the family is catholic, my moms side is Jewish. Well, some of my aunts have been 'born again' Christains, which is fine, but Easter is a big deal to you guys! Anyhow, so we got together for Easter celebrations because we dont want to leave anyone out, that isnt nice. My family jumped on my case so bad. 'Why arent you losing weight faster', 'Youre still fat', Why did you have a sugery when you couldnt lose weight faster, 'Are you supposed to eat that', 'Dont vomit on me' Stupid stuff Ignorant stuff, so since half of my family is being kind, and inviting people to an Easter celebration when we dont do the whole Easter thing, I decided that I would drop some knowledge on some people. No, I will NOT lose as much weight as a Gastric Bypass patient as quickly as they will. Yes, I STILL have to diet, no this ISNT the easy way out. I was defensive. I am the tallest woman on that side of my family, and the heaviest. My entire family is under 5'4. They are all blonde, and cute, and have big blue eyes. Angelica is 5'6, shes got really pretty green eyes, brown hair, and a giant gutt. God, I hate this gutt. I wish I had a different body type sometimes, all though I realize, I was lucky to get what I have. I have thinner legs, and no butt, but my upper torso is huge, and I have a hanging pannus. The pannus isnt TOO big, in fact, its getting smaller, but still. I dont like it, its gross. What I have been noticing is that every morning, when I crawl out of bed, I am happy to look at myself in the mirror, I SEE a difference. I am so excited. I am so glad I had this surgery. My friend Priscilla is considering having the surgery as well. I made a commitment to her that I would go to all of her appointments and wait for her so she wouldnt be scared. I have noticed that sweet jesus is it difficult to get back on the straight and narrow when you cheat. Alot of people say that your body craves what you put into it, and I slipped up and ate some crap when my peroid came around, and that just totally messed me up. Now I am struggling to retain some control. I can do this. I CAN do this. My mother also said something the other day that made me want to scream. She said 'I think the reason your belly looks bigger is because the rest of you is getting smaller and its like an optical illusion' THANKS MOM. All of me is getting smaller! I'm excited about my next fill, its a month from now, but I have nice restriction now. Just gotta eat better foods. Better foods, gotta get back on the right track, maybe going grocery shopping would be a good idea? -A :thumbup:

Hey Guys =) I'm jumping back on the LC BandWagon. Oh, just as an FYI, theres this really awesome site with a support forum and a HUGE recipe section Atkins Diet & Low Carbohydrate Support. There arent many bandsters there, but there are a few. So lets break it down for today Breakfast - Crab meat, baby. This stuff is expensive, but at 145 Cals 0 carbs and 30 grms Protein, you CANNOT beat it. Lunch- Green chili stew, no potatos, just beef and chili. Delicious. About 3/4 of a cup. dinner - TBA, probably wings. I normally dont snack inbetween meals, but should I have a snack, I will post. -A

I got into a 'spirited debate' earlier today. I have a co worker, shes beautiful. Shes got a beautiful body, and a beautiful face. Shes dumber than a bag of rocks. She wrecked a marriage of another co worker of mine. Shes 19. No one knows about the surgery I had at work except for Jon, who is my bestie at work, and hes very supportive. Anyway, he also happens to be the one who got wrapped up in this pretty girl. We we laughing, and joking around the other day, and he mentions this girl, and says she 'gets a free pass for being so pretty, think about it Angelica, shes never had to work as hard as you have'. Ugh, so true. In anycase, she and I get to talking, and apparently Jon has told her about my surgery. Fine, I am not ashamed of anything, to be really honest with you. I am happy about my surgery and the progress that I am making. Everything was fine until she said it 'Dont get skinnier than me!'. Oh Bitch. Its not ABOUT YOU. Its ABOUT ME. Right? She then proceeds to tell me that I am going to be the total package, and that I shouldnt 'become a slut when I get skinny' WTF? At this point, she gets a concerned look on her face and says, Dont steal Jon from me. ARGH. Is that what she thinks, that Fat girls cant possibly be a threat now, even tho your boyfriend has said to be in the past, on many occasions that 'I'd sleep with you in a heartbeat', and 'if I want something to look at, I'll call someone else, I want to have an actual conversation, I will call you'. This, this is why Skinny girls are afraid of fat girls. Because they KNOW. They have full understanding that when we slim it down that not only will we appeal to people on a physical level, but all the hard work that we had to do, the sense of humor we had to develop, the intelligence, all of these things that we devloped from working hard, and not getting by scott free with anything. I dont know is this is always true, if all men are this vapid and shallow, I mean, its a bad example, Jon did cheat on his very beautiful, very thin wife, so maybe he just doesnt get it. I hope all men arent like this. All the sudden, these things are becoming realistic fears for me. I have been afraid and intimidated by men forever, now they want to interact with me. Now they smile at me in hallways, now they whisper to their friends when I walk by. Sometimes, being invisible like I used to be seems so much easier. Its all a process, you know? First, you have to say goodbye to your addiction to food, because your lifestyle HAS to change. you dont have a choice. Secondly, you battle other addictions that try to take its place, like liquor, other stupid things, then youre finally free, and youre working out, and youre doing better. There are just so many things that I am afraid of these days. -A :biggrin:

I got into a 'spirited debate' earlier today. I have a co worker, shes beautiful. Shes got a beautiful body, and a beautiful face. Shes dumber than a bag of rocks. She wrecked a marriage of another co worker of mine. Shes 19. No one knows about the surgery I had at work except for Jon, who is my bestie at work, and hes very supportive. Anyway, he also happens to be the one who got wrapped up in this pretty girl. We we laughing, and joking around the other day, and he mentions this girl, and says she 'gets a free pass for being so pretty, think about it Angelica, shes never had to work as hard as you have'. Ugh, so true. In anycase, she and I get to talking, and apparently Jon has told her about my surgery. Fine, I am not ashamed of anything, to be really honest with you. I am happy about my surgery and the progress that I am making. Everything was fine until she said it 'Dont get skinnier than me!'. Oh Bitch. Its not ABOUT YOU. Its ABOUT ME. Right? She then proceeds to tell me that I am going to be the total package, and that I shouldnt 'become a slut when I get skinny' WTF? At this point, she gets a concerned look on her face and says, Dont steal Jon from me. ARGH. Is that what she thinks, that Fat girls cant possibly be a threat now, even tho your boyfriend has said to be in the past, on many occasions that 'I'd sleep with you in a heartbeat', and 'if I want something to look at, I'll call someone else, I want to have an actual conversation, I will call you'. This, this is why Skinny girls are afraid of fat girls. Because they KNOW. They have full understanding that when we slim it down that not only will we appeal to people on a physical level, but all the hard work that we had to do, the sense of humor we had to develop, the intelligence, all of these things that we devloped from working hard, and not getting by scott free with anything. I dont know is this is always true, if all men are this vapid and shallow, I mean, its a bad example, Jon did cheat on his very beautiful, very thin wife, so maybe he just doesnt get it. I hope all men arent like this. All the sudden, these things are becoming realistic fears for me. I have been afraid and intimidated by men forever, now they want to interact with me. Now they smile at me in hallways, now they whisper to their friends when I walk by. Sometimes, being invisible like I used to be seems so much easier. Its all a process, you know? First, you have to say goodbye to your addiction to food, because your lifestyle HAS to change. you dont have a choice. Secondly, you battle other addictions that try to take its place, like liquor, other stupid things, then youre finally free, and youre working out, and youre doing better. There are just so many things that I am afraid of these days. -A :thumbup:

poor little girl. Hideous. Tummy Tuck? Lipo? How about buying her a basketball, or some other sports equipment instead of low cut shirts. How about helping her with some talk therapy? Its obvious where her mother is placing the importance in her life. 'Its just more money?' Christ.

Most providers (hospitals) have contracts with Reprice Vendors, basically, the reprice vendor pays the hospital a lower fee thats been previously neogoiated with the hospital and the insurance company, then the reprice vendor bills the hospital their fee. In my case, I had surgery here in El Paso, TX and the insurance company was billed 44K, huge bill, right? The reprice vendor actually paid the hospital 22K, then billed the insurance company at the lower rate, plus their cut, I am sure. I thank God everyday that I have insurance. There is NO WAY on my budget that I would have been able to afford this band. There is a new hospital in Juarez, MX, (sister city to El Paso, I live right on the border) and they are billing 8500.00 for the surgery, which is, in my humble opinion, a decent price. -A

I have BCBS of Jersey, and I live in Texas! Just find an approved provider, and you should be fine. -A

Okay, so I went and got another fill, right? Awesome, restriction. I can finally not eat a whole plate of food. My band is TIGHT in the mornings, which is fine. I'm not too worried about that. Still chugging along with the crab meat breakfast. The protein sticks with me all day, on the plus side, on the negative side, all my co workers hate me because they say the crab meat stinks. It probably does. Sorry guys, doing this for me. I normally eat one packet, which is actually 3 servings, breaks down to 145 calories and 30 grms of protein, how can you beat that? Then about 3 hours later, a peice of fruit, followed by a some baby carrots or something a few hours after that. Protein for dinner with some veggies. This is the longest I have managed to be on a 'modified eating plan', which is what i am calling it, because if you say diet, I take off running in the other direction. I have lost about 30 pounds. I have a new goal, I want to lose 40 more pounds by 4/22. I KNOW this is lofty, but I also know that I havent been giving this surgery or the lapband my all up until about 2 weeks ago. I wasnt ready to get rid of my friend. I miss food. How stupid, right? Let me make this clear, I hate food. I hate being worried about it, I hate thinking about it. I hate feeling fat, I hate being fat, so I guess the question is, how far am I willing to go outside of my comfort zone to change it. I woke up at 4:45 this morning. I had my alarm set to get up and work out. I had to lay in bed for a second and ask myself, how commited are YOU to your fitness goals? How badly do YOU want to lose this weight. How much does it mean to YOU? So, I got my ass out of bed, and did the Power 90. I am not ready to join a gym yet, I am still too self concious. It makes me nervous, and I feel like most gyms are just meat markets for the skinny anyway. I know I should be able to ignore that, but I cant, not yet anyway, so I am going to continue working out at home until I have made my goal of 40 pounds by 4/22, then I will join a gym. Lucky for me, I have my friend Ray who really supports me. My relationship with Ray is causing me alot of strife that hes not aware of, that I dont want to drag him into. Its kind of a running joke, everyone at work thinks he really likes me, and that he wants to date me. He says he does not, and I believe him. We are just super duper close. Besides, even if I DID want to date him, hes already slept with my exroommate and I dont do sloppy seconds. In either case, I am worn out and tired today. I have my yearly employee evual today, and I dont really want to do it. I dont know if I am going to be getting a raise, I probably will. Its never much, but everything helps, right? All and All, I feel very positive about my surgery, and I feel very positive about what direction I am headed in life. I am a little worried about my situation with the anti depressants. I have been on cymbalta and wellbutrin for about a year and a half now. Its not working the way it used too. My doctor wants to move me to an antidepressant patch, its supposed to be really strong, which is great, but sometimes, anti depressants make me feel like a crack head. Its like, if I dont take it for a day, I get all dizzy and pissy and mean. Sometimes, I wish I had never started taking them at all. Having said that I know they are the major reason I have been able to hold down my job. So thank God for that. -A :confused_smile:

Okay, so I went and got another fill, right? Awesome, restriction. I can finally not eat a whole plate of food. My band is TIGHT in the mornings, which is fine. I'm not too worried about that. Still chugging along with the crab meat breakfast. The protein sticks with me all day, on the plus side, on the negative side, all my co workers hate me because they say the crab meat stinks. It probably does. Sorry guys, doing this for me. I normally eat one packet, which is actually 3 servings, breaks down to 145 calories and 30 grms of protein, how can you beat that? Then about 3 hours later, a peice of fruit, followed by a some baby carrots or something a few hours after that. Protein for dinner with some veggies. This is the longest I have managed to be on a 'modified eating plan', which is what i am calling it, because if you say diet, I take off running in the other direction. I have lost about 30 pounds. I have a new goal, I want to lose 40 more pounds by 4/22. I KNOW this is lofty, but I also know that I havent been giving this surgery or the lapband my all up until about 2 weeks ago. I wasnt ready to get rid of my friend. I miss food. How stupid, right? Let me make this clear, I hate food. I hate being worried about it, I hate thinking about it. I hate feeling fat, I hate being fat, so I guess the question is, how far am I willing to go outside of my comfort zone to change it. I woke up at 4:45 this morning. I had my alarm set to get up and work out. I had to lay in bed for a second and ask myself, how commited are YOU to your fitness goals? How badly do YOU want to lose this weight. How much does it mean to YOU? So, I got my ass out of bed, and did the Power 90. I am not ready to join a gym yet, I am still too self concious. It makes me nervous, and I feel like most gyms are just meat markets for the skinny anyway. I know I should be able to ignore that, but I cant, not yet anyway, so I am going to continue working out at home until I have made my goal of 40 pounds by 4/22, then I will join a gym. Lucky for me, I have my friend Ray who really supports me. My relationship with Ray is causing me alot of strife that hes not aware of, that I dont want to drag him into. Its kind of a running joke, everyone at work thinks he really likes me, and that he wants to date me. He says he does not, and I believe him. We are just super duper close. Besides, even if I DID want to date him, hes already slept with my exroommate and I dont do sloppy seconds. In either case, I am worn out and tired today. I have my yearly employee evual today, and I dont really want to do it. I dont know if I am going to be getting a raise, I probably will. Its never much, but everything helps, right? All and All, I feel very positive about my surgery, and I feel very positive about what direction I am headed in life. I am a little worried about my situation with the anti depressants. I have been on cymbalta and wellbutrin for about a year and a half now. Its not working the way it used too. My doctor wants to move me to an antidepressant patch, its supposed to be really strong, which is great, but sometimes, anti depressants make me feel like a crack head. Its like, if I dont take it for a day, I get all dizzy and pissy and mean. Sometimes, I wish I had never started taking them at all. Having said that I know they are the major reason I have been able to hold down my job. So thank God for that. -A :biggrin:

You dont have to justify your decisions to her. Stay firm, dont let her spew propaganda at you and try to scare you. You know whats right for you, you know your body better than anyone else.

Congrats! It'll happen sooner than you know it, and you'll love your band.

And now my grandmama aint the only girl calling me BABBBY. I love that song, I have had it stuck in my mind, this IS the good life. I have started eating a little differently lately. My days normally go like this - Crab meat for breakfast, I know this is wierd, but its tasty, and its high in protein, LOW in calories. Then I like to follow it up with a cottage cheese snack mid moring, a peice of fruit near lunchish. The fruit normally stays in the band longer that the crab meat or the cottage cheese, which is fine by me. Then after work, I normally have some chicken, or fish, with veggies. I am happy, my body is starting to change again, I am living on my own, making changes. My friends and I have this saying, big shit poppin, and little shit stoppin. This makes so much sense to me. Why would I let myself be tempted by a taste, a tiny little pleasure when I can OVERALL be much happier? I dont want to hate myself anymore, I dont want to punish myself anymore. I just want to be happy. I want to rise above all the petty bs in my life, all the drama and the waterworks, and exist, be, express. All the sudden, being Angelica is pretty awesome. I've never felt this way before about myself. I'm too good for bad food, I am too good to not keep up with myself and work out, I cant let myself waste away on a couch. I have been contemplating making the decision of not dating until I lose my weight, and get alot closer to goal. I just am starting to think that maybe it would be the best thing to focus only on myself for a while. At the same time, I am LONELY. I dont really know how to reconcile the two feelings. -A :thumbup:

And now my grandmama aint the only girl calling me BABBBY. I love that song, I have had it stuck in my mind, this IS the good life. I have started eating a little differently lately. My days normally go like this - Crab meat for breakfast, I know this is wierd, but its tasty, and its high in protein, LOW in calories. Then I like to follow it up with a cottage cheese snack mid moring, a peice of fruit near lunchish. The fruit normally stays in the band longer that the crab meat or the cottage cheese, which is fine by me. Then after work, I normally have some chicken, or fish, with veggies. I am happy, my body is starting to change again, I am living on my own, making changes. My friends and I have this saying, big shit poppin, and little shit stoppin. This makes so much sense to me. Why would I let myself be tempted by a taste, a tiny little pleasure when I can OVERALL be much happier? I dont want to hate myself anymore, I dont want to punish myself anymore. I just want to be happy. I want to rise above all the petty bs in my life, all the drama and the waterworks, and exist, be, express. All the sudden, being Angelica is pretty awesome. I've never felt this way before about myself. I'm too good for bad food, I am too good to not keep up with myself and work out, I cant let myself waste away on a couch. I have been contemplating making the decision of not dating until I lose my weight, and get alot closer to goal. I just am starting to think that maybe it would be the best thing to focus only on myself for a while. At the same time, I am LONELY. I dont really know how to reconcile the two feelings. -A :biggrin:

I am confused.. My weight loss has not been as signifigant as some of the other people who were banded around the same time I was, and while I understand that its difficult to really guage what a 'sweet spot' would be from one individual to another, I was curious as to what other peoples personal view points were about their 'sweet spots', and I was hoping you guys could help me out. I cannot eat bread any longer, it just wont go down, its very uncomfortable, and it HURTS. Having said that, I can pretty much eat anything else without pain. I can normally take in about 2 to 3 cups of food at a given time, more if I break the rules and drink while I eat, but I am focused on no longer allowing to sabatoge myself. I have only PB'ed once, right into my kitchen sink, and let me tell you, that, that was so unpleasant that I never want it to happen again, it was such a surprise and there was NO WAY of stopping it. I have so far had two fills, 4 ccs each, I have the new AP band, I believe it holds a max of 10 CCs. Am I feeling restriction? I dont feel like I have REAL restriction, I feel like my eating has probably been cut in half at any given meal, but for the most part, I think I can probably get in more food than I should be. Does anyone else feel this way? My next fill is scheduled for the 11th of March, I was banded on the 23rd of October, and as of right now, I have lost 23 pounds, which I am not scoffing at, because its 23 pounds that I am rid of :thumbdown: So, does anyone have any advice on restriction, or can you tell me what restriction FEELS like, is it painful, does it feel like youre going to vomit, do you feel like you have 'food backed up in your throat', help me out to better gauge and give my doctor a more accurate protrayal of whats going on with me. Thanks -A

Hey, your health is up to you, you have the right to address your own health issues the way you see fit. Stand up and make the insurance company listen to you. Tell them that the Bypass isnt acceptable for you. They will listen, you've just got to say the right words.

Anyone from El Paso? Theres got to be more than just me out there. I'm looking for some like minded people. Wasnt El Paso one of the most obese cities in the United States recently? Dr. Applebaum performed my surgery, hes awesome. Anyone else out there? -A

Hoo boy, its been a busy month, my dears. So, I got over all the crying and whining, and moved out of my previous apartment. Steve still hasnt come back around. Its alright. If he does, we might have another go at it, I dont know. We will see how it goes. Just as a side note, its really super hard to move at 1 in the morning when its raining and colllllddd. I got it done, some of the personal relationships in my life are sort of skewed right now. Obviously, my relationship with my exroommate are strained. I felt so guilty, dropping the moving out bomb on her when her grandfather had passed away only a few days before. I HAD to do it. I couldnt be stuck anymore, you know? In any case, work has become strained as of late. There have been layoffs, and my boss is coming into town next week. I'm a little nervous about it. I dont think I will get fired, but its safe to say that I have slacked off, at the very least, last year. I have been applying for other jobs, and have a nice lead on a very good job with a huge company. The pay would almost double what I make, and it will be very similar to what I do now. I am going to make the move if the opprotunity is presented to me. My life feels l ike its coming together since I moved into my new apartment, mind you, its been less than a week, but who cares. I upgraded, bought myself a new bed with my income tax money. Now its time to find someone to share it with. My bestie ray and I have been having a hard time too. I feel like I have this new found independence, and it seems like hes always trying to tell me what to do! AND he almost burnt my carpet in the new apartment yesterday. Hes annoying the shit out of me, and I am doing the same back to him, so I will just try to keep things under control. My mother is a little annoyed with me, I've been borrowing money as of late. Shes a little grumpy about it, but she never says no, so I guess its not so bad, I need to get some stability so that I dont have to borrow this money from her. Now, then, for the weight loss plan. I have lost another pant size. I dont know how that equates, because I refuse to weigh myself, but my fill is tomorrow, so I will know very soon. I feel some restriction. I need some more. Keep focused, stay ahead, and never ever let them see you sweat kiddo.

Hoo boy, its been a busy month, my dears. So, I got over all the crying and whining, and moved out of my previous apartment. Steve still hasnt come back around. Its alright. If he does, we might have another go at it, I dont know. We will see how it goes. Just as a side note, its really super hard to move at 1 in the morning when its raining and colllllddd. I got it done, some of the personal relationships in my life are sort of skewed right now. Obviously, my relationship with my exroommate are strained. I felt so guilty, dropping the moving out bomb on her when her grandfather had passed away only a few days before. I HAD to do it. I couldnt be stuck anymore, you know? In any case, work has become strained as of late. There have been layoffs, and my boss is coming into town next week. I'm a little nervous about it. I dont think I will get fired, but its safe to say that I have slacked off, at the very least, last year. I have been applying for other jobs, and have a nice lead on a very good job with a huge company. The pay would almost double what I make, and it will be very similar to what I do now. I am going to make the move if the opprotunity is presented to me. My life feels l ike its coming together since I moved into my new apartment, mind you, its been less than a week, but who cares. I upgraded, bought myself a new bed with my income tax money. Now its time to find someone to share it with. My bestie ray and I have been having a hard time too. I feel like I have this new found independence, and it seems like hes always trying to tell me what to do! AND he almost burnt my carpet in the new apartment yesterday. Hes annoying the shit out of me, and I am doing the same back to him, so I will just try to keep things under control. My mother is a little annoyed with me, I've been borrowing money as of late. Shes a little grumpy about it, but she never says no, so I guess its not so bad, I need to get some stability so that I dont have to borrow this money from her. Now, then, for the weight loss plan. I have lost another pant size. I dont know how that equates, because I refuse to weigh myself, but my fill is tomorrow, so I will know very soon. I feel some restriction. I need some more. Keep focused, stay ahead, and never ever let them see you sweat kiddo.

Thats not true. I am a living banded exception. THis is what happened. Initally after my paperwork was sent in, I recieved a response about the 6 month diet plan. I decided that I would just give it a shot, and I called the Horizon, spoke with a manager who was incredibly rude, and unhelpful. She was lame. At that point, after an hour and a half, i decided to contact my company rep for Horizon. She gave me some information about our patient advocate, and I wrote her a letter and faxed it to her. I specifically requested that my case be reviewed by the Medical Director, and that their supervisor had been really rude to me. 3 days later, my pre determination was approved. My pre certification wasnt. I called the insurance company, and a rep mistook that information and told me I was approved for everything. When my clinic found out I was not approved for the pre cert, they notified me, and I called the insurance company, got ANOTHER supervisor, and because they had already told me that I was approved, and noted it in my account, they had no choice but to approve me, I was banded 6 days later. My point is this, there is ALWAYS wiggle room. Always. Start your diet thats medically supervised, and see if you cant get around it in some way.

Would I be violating, if I grabbed me a handful? hahaha, thats from an old rap song, and right now, the answer is No, you wouldnt be violating. I read a post recently about poor eating and exercise due to stress in the personal life. It sort of hit home. My life has been sort of stressful for a while. My roommate is techincally insane. Shes basically moved out of the apartment to live with her mother, but is still paying rent. She makes no sense to me. I dont have my own place in the apartment. I mostly stay holed up in my bedroom, even when shes not around. I hate that I pay for half an apartment, and theres no room for me, or my things. I hate that its always filthy, I hate that its always covered with toys, and other shit, old cereal bowls, blah blah blah. She stops off everyonce and a while to make a mess, bitch and me, tell me that I am her bestfriend, then she takes off again. So yeah, I gots to find a new place to live. Shes been more of a nusance than anything. The funny thing is that she was the one who CONVINCED me to have this surgery. I agreed, she promised to look after me, and take me to the hospital and everything, and she didnt. Whatever, I guess its not important, I had the surgery for myself, not for her. In either case, I have to find a new apartment to move into. I am not really sure where I am headed, somewhere cheap and a little questionable, or somewhere expensive and nice. I make decent money, so I dont know, I think I will probably go for affordable. I need some space, some freedom, I need to start my life over. I have been nothing but set backwards because of Roxy, and her bullshit. I just want this to be over. Moving out, thats going to be a little tricky. I dont want her ruining the very meager things that I do have. Then of course, there is Steve. Let me introduce the players in this game. Raymond is my bestfriend, awesome dude, who is in love with Roxy, my roommate, not so awesome. Steve considers Ray to be his bestfriend. Ray got me and Steve talking, and we sort of took it from there. I havent spent alot of time with the dude to be honest with you. Roxy starts in with Raymond bashing, telling me that Steve isnt really talking to me because Steve and I commuicate via instant messenger. Shes convinced that its Raymond is pretending to be Steve. Basically, Roxy sees it like this; Steve cant be real because hes not attracted to fat girls. Because I'm not wicked smart, or charming, or incidentally funny. Because he couldnt possibly be interested in my brain? Dont get me wrong, Steve knows about my surgery, and he knows about my weight. He was completely supportive. He was excited about me losing weight. So, Roxy hurt Rays feelings, Steve got scared, and bolted, and I was sort of left standing alone in the middle of nowhere, being sad. I miss Steve, I miss the shit out of Steve. He was sort of like an escape for me, he always was able to make me laugh, make me smile. He held my attention, he kept me focused. I WANTED to be a better person when he was around, just so he could see how awesome I was. I dont know if thats the way he felt about me. Anyway, apparently, this situation isnt over, because Raymond is going to talk to Steve about me, and see where things stand. I would love to date Steve, but at the same time, I am not going to throw myself at him. Men like to chase. This discussion happens today, at lunchtime. I will not be present. I am so nervous. I just want the best possible outcome. Beyond that, I have a little sister who is mentally deficent. Her mother is a junkie (we have the same father, differnet mothers) and I have been looking after her financially for the past few months. That is stressful on the budget. Then of course, there is the idea that my brother is getting married shortly, and I have to shove my ass into a nice dress and look acceptable at the wedding in Boston. Personal issues. Boooo personal issues. How can you put all this aside, and just focus on the weight loss. How is that even possible. I am managing it the best way that I can. I'm still smoking, I cant quit, I know that my Dr said it caused errosion, I'm sorry. I'm so fing stressed out. I dont have an excuse for any of this In fact, if I read this post, I would think, what an irresponsible person, she needs to get her life in order. Well, I am working on it. Give me a little time, a little pat on the back, and a little bit of love, I will make it. I promise.

Would I be violating, if I grabbed me a handful? hahaha, thats from an old rap song, and right now, the answer is No, you wouldnt be violating. I read a post recently about poor eating and exercise due to stress in the personal life. It sort of hit home. My life has been sort of stressful for a while. My roommate is techincally insane. Shes basically moved out of the apartment to live with her mother, but is still paying rent. She makes no sense to me. I dont have my own place in the apartment. I mostly stay holed up in my bedroom, even when shes not around. I hate that I pay for half an apartment, and theres no room for me, or my things. I hate that its always filthy, I hate that its always covered with toys, and other shit, old cereal bowls, blah blah blah. She stops off everyonce and a while to make a mess, bitch and me, tell me that I am her bestfriend, then she takes off again. So yeah, I gots to find a new place to live. Shes been more of a nusance than anything. The funny thing is that she was the one who CONVINCED me to have this surgery. I agreed, she promised to look after me, and take me to the hospital and everything, and she didnt. Whatever, I guess its not important, I had the surgery for myself, not for her. In either case, I have to find a new apartment to move into. I am not really sure where I am headed, somewhere cheap and a little questionable, or somewhere expensive and nice. I make decent money, so I dont know, I think I will probably go for affordable. I need some space, some freedom, I need to start my life over. I have been nothing but set backwards because of Roxy, and her bullshit. I just want this to be over. Moving out, thats going to be a little tricky. I dont want her ruining the very meager things that I do have. Then of course, there is Steve. Let me introduce the players in this game. Raymond is my bestfriend, awesome dude, who is in love with Roxy, my roommate, not so awesome. Steve considers Ray to be his bestfriend. Ray got me and Steve talking, and we sort of took it from there. I havent spent alot of time with the dude to be honest with you. Roxy starts in with Raymond bashing, telling me that Steve isnt really talking to me because Steve and I commuicate via instant messenger. Shes convinced that its Raymond is pretending to be Steve. Basically, Roxy sees it like this; Steve cant be real because hes not attracted to fat girls. Because I'm not wicked smart, or charming, or incidentally funny. Because he couldnt possibly be interested in my brain? Dont get me wrong, Steve knows about my surgery, and he knows about my weight. He was completely supportive. He was excited about me losing weight. So, Roxy hurt Rays feelings, Steve got scared, and bolted, and I was sort of left standing alone in the middle of nowhere, being sad. I miss Steve, I miss the shit out of Steve. He was sort of like an escape for me, he always was able to make me laugh, make me smile. He held my attention, he kept me focused. I WANTED to be a better person when he was around, just so he could see how awesome I was. I dont know if thats the way he felt about me. Anyway, apparently, this situation isnt over, because Raymond is going to talk to Steve about me, and see where things stand. I would love to date Steve, but at the same time, I am not going to throw myself at him. Men like to chase. This discussion happens today, at lunchtime. I will not be present. I am so nervous. I just want the best possible outcome. Beyond that, I have a little sister who is mentally deficent. Her mother is a junkie (we have the same father, differnet mothers) and I have been looking after her financially for the past few months. That is stressful on the budget. Then of course, there is the idea that my brother is getting married shortly, and I have to shove my ass into a nice dress and look acceptable at the wedding in Boston. Personal issues. Boooo personal issues. How can you put all this aside, and just focus on the weight loss. How is that even possible. I am managing it the best way that I can. I'm still smoking, I cant quit, I know that my Dr said it caused errosion, I'm sorry. I'm so fing stressed out. I dont have an excuse for any of this In fact, if I read this post, I would think, what an irresponsible person, she needs to get her life in order. Well, I am working on it. Give me a little time, a little pat on the back, and a little bit of love, I will make it. I promise.

Buy a waxing kit, get some small strips, and go to town. I dont want to spend 50-80 bucks to have someone wax my vage when I can just do it myself. Having said that, my mother worked in a salon for 19 years, and did pass on a few tips, BABY powder. Make sure the skin is completely dry, put a little baby powder on that thing. The baby powder helps, doesnt hurt as bad because you arent yanking the first layer of skin off with the hair. The trick with wax is a THIN layer. Its much more productive than slatering on a think goopy layer of wax that you'll have to scrub for 3 hours to get off. Youre going to have to contort your body into some strange positions, but I count that as exercise Use small strips, if the wax is too hot, apply it directly to the strip, then to the skin. After the waxing is done you should probably go over the skin with some baby lotion, it removes any remaining wax. I normally get a lotion for sensitive skin and put it on there too. Its easiest to do this at night, so you have a chance to rest and sleep afterwards.

So yeah Its finally hit me. I realized, I read this board because the people here inspire me. I read the journals because I want to see what tips and tricks I can pick up. Being lazy, at least for Angelica, is OVER. The fact of the matter is this I MADE the RIGHT choice having the Lapband, now, am I willing to let it help me, or not. I dont know if I have lost any weight yet, I suppose I can check, because I am at work, and we have this really accurate scale in the mailroom. All I know is that yesterday, I went to put on my work clothes, and was SO SICK AND TIRED of wearing the same thing that I tried on some jeans, and not only did they FIT, but they were BIG. So I tried the next size down (I have an entire Lane Bryant in my closet, no joke ) and THEY FIT. Thats a size 6 in Lane Bryant Sizes, I dont know how that translates to the regular sizes. In anycase, I walked on air yesterday, and woke up today with a renewed vision. I still miss Steve. Things are sort of up in the air right now, but the general consensious is that hes back with his exgirlfriend. Thats fine, shes trashy, and I am awesome. He will see the error of his ways, and I will be too busy for him. Yeah, lowcarb, exercise isnt happening as often as it needs too, that I can and will correct. Today, the first day of my new life? -A

So yeah Its finally hit me. I realized, I read this board because the people here inspire me. I read the journals because I want to see what tips and tricks I can pick up. Being lazy, at least for Angelica, is OVER. The fact of the matter is this I MADE the RIGHT choice having the Lapband, now, am I willing to let it help me, or not. I dont know if I have lost any weight yet, I suppose I can check, because I am at work, and we have this really accurate scale in the mailroom. All I know is that yesterday, I went to put on my work clothes, and was SO SICK AND TIRED of wearing the same thing that I tried on some jeans, and not only did they FIT, but they were BIG. So I tried the next size down (I have an entire Lane Bryant in my closet, no joke :biggrin:) and THEY FIT. Thats a size 6 in Lane Bryant Sizes, I dont know how that translates to the regular sizes. In anycase, I walked on air yesterday, and woke up today with a renewed vision. I still miss Steve. Things are sort of up in the air right now, but the general consensious is that hes back with his exgirlfriend. Thats fine, shes trashy, and I am awesome. He will see the error of his ways, and I will be too busy for him. Yeah, lowcarb, exercise isnt happening as often as it needs too, that I can and will correct. Today, the first day of my new life? -A