elfnow

After I had lost quite a bit I shared with him. But I waited until I had lost a bit, so I could say I used to weigh that, now I weigh this.
I've always said what a big deal it will be for me to weigh less than him (he has always been fit, trim, and athletic). We recently had a funny conversation -- he said right after my surgery when I had commented that eventually I will weigh less than him, he just couldn't imagine it, but now he sees that it's going to happen.
I currently weigh about 18 lbs more than him. He would like to add lbs to his own frame by lifting weights. I said we can wave as we pass each other -- me on the way down & him on the way up. Then I said, when we get to a point where we weigh exactly the same, we should see if we can pick each other up! Then we collapsed giggling because he added that we should try to see how far we can throw each other LOL

My man and I are having a little contest. When my weight finally dips below his weight (which is healthy for his height and age), then we will have a non-food celebration of some sort. The good news is, I am within a pound or two of that point on the scale!

Generally its best to go commando with everything. They need to see that your circulation is good and not
a great shade of blush lol

I wish I knew that my arm pits would truly become pits! So much harder to shave! LOL!

In other countries (particularly Scandinavian countries) treatment for depression/bipolar/schizophrenia includes the WHOLE family... And often the doctors will prescribe medicine to OTHER family members as well as the patient.
My ex-h used to be very bent-out-of-shape about small things and when he was stressed he'd make these ridiculous RULES about the world (which would be immediately broken since the rest of the world didn't get his memo promptly)... At one point He and I both had prescriptions for Buspar ... And he cautioned me to not "swipe any" of HIS. I was like dude, if YOU take your meds then *I* won't have to!!
My mother used to be awful about my weight, through college she would berate me for being pregnant and not telling her (HUH??) and as an adult now, 20 years later, I realize she was screaming about her own past, and it had NOTHING to do with ME!! At one point when I was planning my wedding she got SO awful about my weight that I "broke up" with her. I didn't speak to her for about 6 months. It saddened me because I really wanted that mother-daughter bonding over weddings like you see on TV but it was also a really low-stress period! I didn't have to worry about what mood she'd be in when she called, etc. She shaped up (no pun intended) and got nicer and wrote me a letter apologizing and saying she missed me, and that was a big step for her.
I maintain that a person can choose their family, and that "blood" means very little. It's hard with a person you really want to care for who just sends hate back your way... But it's as poisonous a relationship as a bad boyfriend/lover/spouse!! Make a pledge to give that person some space, walk away for a while, and enjoy a few stress-free days without hearing their venom.... There are so many much nicer people in the world!!!

Ree, I know your grandma may feel hurt - but she might also be a little relieved to not have the stress of your sister's troubles. And that's OK!
It also sounds like your sister is still quite young (20?) and believe it or not, her brain is still growing! She's flinging herself into theatrical dramatics and that's just her thing .... You can choose to not buy a ticket to the show!
She will learn ... Or she won't... But definitely don't take on your grandma's emotions too! Your grandma is a grown-up girl and can handle her own emotions. Plus she's been around long enough maybe she saw a few other family members go through phases like this.
Enjoy your life in her absence, welcome her back when she comes back, enjoy your life in her presence.... Teach your daughter that sometimes it's better to love someone from a distance.
*hugs* sooner or later, people will stop begging her to be in their lives, and she'll have to face the fact that it's her, not them.

This is a tool for us to use to help us not be so hungry all the time. It was never meant to cure all of our emotional problems with food. For that we need some counseling. We will still have head hunger, even though we know we are full. We will still be tempted by the bad foods we used to consume in quantity. The success of our surgeries has more to do with our minds. We have to get them in a "good place" or we will slip right back into the old habits that got us where we were.
Relationships with family and friends may change. As humans we are opposed to change. Whenever any dynamic of a family or friendship changes, so do those relationships. Some people can work through the changes and some can't. People who are overweight may not like the fact that you are getting smaller. It can be jealousy or a reminder of their own shortcomings. Spouses may look at a more attractive "you" and start to worry about losing you. They may all try to sabotage your efforts.
We did not go into this for anyone else but ourselves. We cannot let anyone disuade us from our goals.

This thread has been one of the most helpful on this site!! I'm scheduled for 3/24 and cannot wait to be able to give my own list. Thank you to everyone who has contributed!

Hang in there!! The liver reduction part is really awful, but you can do it!! Less than a week to go!

I am 10 days post-op!! So far, I wish I had known...
1) Head-hunger is an ugly beast. Things LOOK good. They LOOK like they will TASTE good. I have to remind myself that's because marketing agents spend thousands of hours on pictures of food HOPING FOR JUST THAT. It's how I got this size in the first place. "AHA I see what u did there," I have to think.
2) Yes you CAN go to a restaurant - order French onion Soup "no bread or cheese". I thought I'd be a total outcast all the time, but French onion Soup helps me feel like I'm a normal person having lunch. And I can feel proud of leaving 70% of it behind.
3) I'd get my sense of smell back with not using my CPAP, and those Protein shakes are awful. My body smells awful. My partner smells AWFUL too! Yuck!! Why does he smell that way?! And smelling food is physically painful. Everything smells weird. I don't want my sense of smell back! Ignorance was bliss!!
4) my mouth would forever taste like the north end of a pig going south. It's nasty. I admit to never being very good about brushing my teeth regularly but now it's twice a day because my mouth is so slimy and gross. SO GROSS!!
5) I would feel judged by others, especially in my workout group, for "cheating" by having surgery. I have lost 35 lbs (maybe more) since starting the pre-op diet (24 days ago) and I feel like I'm constantly making excuses for my success, or minimizing it when one of my class teammates is all "gee I wish *I* could lose 20 pounds in 2 weeks!!" Sure, I COULD sit on my ass and drink clear fluids and get barely 400 calories in a day and lose weight, but I AM EXERCISING!! I deserve some credit!!
5b) Also that I would feel guilty for losing so much weight so fast while my not-interested-in-surgery partner struggles with diet and exercise, after I used to go on about how hard it is. Damnit it is still hard, why am I minimizing my own efforts?!?
6) my kid likes my Protein Shakes better than I do and swipes them. Also SF Jello comes in 3-oz cups and I can't even finish one, but thankfully my kid is always here to help! LOL.
7) that my heart would do REALLY WEIRD THINGS in the 36-48 hours post-op. I have had a ton of surgeries before, but never an upper abdominal one (mostly sinuses!) and I thought this wouldn't be different. It was. My heart was thumping hard, my blood pressure was ridiculously high, and they even gave me a nitro patch at some point. I mean it was kinda scary! It's idled down since but 12 hours post-surg I was like "what the **** did I just do".
8) only being permitted ice chips or non-red sf popsicles for 24 hours (and then tortured with that upper GI radiology study)... Honestly I was so damn thirsty I drank the contrast dye with no issues!! And then, get this, arguing with my night nurse because my "1 oz" of ice chips had melted into 1/3 oz of Water and he got on me for trying to sip it. Maybe I was on a lot of drugs but that was one of the DUMBEST arguments I have EVER had, bar none.
I hope I don't lose friends... But I don't think I will. Most of the friends who wish they could lose weight are well under the BMI cutoff of 35.

4) my mouth would forever taste like the north end of a pig going south. It's nasty. I admit to never being very good about brushing my teeth regularly but now it's twice a day because my mouth is so slimy and gross. SO GROSS!!
That's so funny!!! LOL

And this is exactly why, my mum knows the sum total of bugger all

Ah friend I've got some news for you....you are going to get snide remarks from lots of people. Even people that are banded might make some ignorant snide comments on the way you work your band vs. the way they choose to work theirs. It's just the way the world is.
The truth is that the people/person that makes the snide comment is saying more about themselves then they ever could about you! They are showing their ignorance and insecurity about something that you have found confidence and belief in. These type of people want to introduce doubt into your mind, so you can be more like them. However you are not like them you are YOU.
Your doing what's right for you, you have walked this path for a long time and your just near the end ready to schedule your big event. You could be talking about your wedding for just as long or longer, and would people be questioning you about it with snide comments? Maybe......but you would not let them affect you and your vision for your big day. So don't let them steal your happiness or underscore it with snide comments.
You've come a long way, and the big day is in sight! Getting banded was the BEST thing I have ever done for myself, and I do not regret it for one second.
My BEST advice to you as you move forward is to listen to and follow your Dr.'s orders, and if you have questions about anything that is the place to turn for the most sound advice.
Congrats and good luck to you as you move forward!

IzzyBelle - WOW!! I didn't realize that there were "rules" about how fast someone should lose weight especially on a liquid diet! I probably would have gone a little "crazy" too, and indignant to boot! And then I would have beat myself up for not writing down exactly every kilo-calorie I ever ate and keeping track to the thousandth of a k-cal, etc! And of course that would set me up for complete failure and I'd be right back at the start...
You know what? I bet you are doing just fine! I am sure there's an average, you know? From 1% to 30% and right smack in the middle is "10-15%" but just a hair off the middle is 8-9% and that's where you are! I bet it's like little kids' growth charts - being smaller or bigger than "average" doesn't mean diddly squat if the kid is happy and healthy, right? So I bet you're doing great! And you're doing it right, and you're happy and (trying to be) healthy and the weight will follow. Hang in there! *hugs*