starryskye

My name is Susan. I was a skinny child, too thin, in fact, of a skinny tall father and a short obese mother. My mom lost 100 pounds on weight watchers, but gained it all back. She later had a VBG and lost over 100 pounds, but then it all came back on as well. She died last year, over 300 lbs, at 76 years of age.
I began to gain weight in my late teens, despite being very active. When I was 24, I had a ruptured large endometrioma and had emergency surgery. I was put on a synthetic androgen for a year to shrink the rest of the tumors, and during that year I gained 75 pounds. From then on, I never lost weight, only gained. I tried weight watchers, atkins, diet center, shaklee, slimfast, nutrisystem, you name it-grapefruit, cabbage, VLCD, no fat, high fat, no carb, all carb, nothing made a difference. I even went to Kingley Institute, for one year of supervised diet and exercise. Nothing.
Finally in 2008 I had lap band surgery. During the first three months, I lost 15 pounds, but it started coming back on. My band was filled over and over until I couldnt even swallow liquids well, and despite all my efforts, the weight crept back on.
In 2009 I was diagnosed with severe malnutrition-my labs looked like those of someone with severe and life threatening anorexia nervosa. This is because I was not eating more than 100-300 calories a day max, and throwing a lot of that up. I was weak, miserable, and hopeless. My doctor ordered my band emptied so that I could begin a refeeding program.
Now I eat about 800-1100 cals a day of protein and vegetables, no carbs. I neither gain nor lose. Dr. Louis Aronne, world reknowned metabolic specialist, says I have "adaptive thermogenesis", a condition where my body adjusts to my intake or exercise and wont leggo the stored fat.
I feel so hopeless. He wants me to have a conversion to bypass or sleeve in hopes that the metabolic effect might help me to lose a little bit, and help my diabetes. I dont know what to do. I am so afraid of being malnourished again, and of going through all the risky surgery and ending up exactly as I am.
I stopped going to my support group because A, it was heartbreaking for me to see people succeed, even the ones who admitted to "cheating", B, I felt like a downer and discourager to the newbies, and C, no one believes me when I say I dont cheat, I eat healthy, and still do not lose. I feel very alone and discouraged.
I thought maybe I could explore the situation through this group.