My non clinical diagnosis from 10,000 miles away: Your man could have ADHD, anxiety and depression and is shutting down because he cannot receive your messaging. It triggers his rejection sensitivity dysphoria and he is shrinking back from intense anger at you because inside he is has real trouble regulating his emotions and it is easier and less confrontational just to retreat. The other activities with his friends do not come with judgment, expectations or a way for him to disappoint.
If he has any of these things, it is a lifelong battle that comes with intense regret that requires professional help and every bit as much support as you would like for your WL journey
