katesuccess

I"m also private about such things, and since I have a rather public job, I'm being really careful only to tell the three people who absolutely need to know. Not all of my family will even know. It isn't anyone's business and it's hard enough to do this as it is. I'm finding that I don't fear negative reactions as much as I suspect I'd get tons of free advice, helpful comments and ongoing chatter about it, and it would continue to make my weight the focus of attention - which I just don't want to have to talk about every time I see anyone. "Can you eat that?" or "Eat this - it's healthy!" or "How bad was the surgery?" "How big were you?" etc.I figure it's mine to tell when i'm ready - and if I'm ready. That said, I know how hard it is with parents and what your beloved is going through wondering if he'd have to tell them if anything happened--my husband and I talked about the same things. So what if you write a nice note to your parents for him to give them in the event there were complications or you did have to stay in the hospital and they had to be told? It's not like a letter from the grave or anything, just something to explain that this was private but you also know that your choice to be private about it might be hard for them. You will hopefully never need it, and you and your husband can toss it out when you're all done and recovering, but it might give him a safety net feeling and keep him from being stuck in the middle. Just a thought. Good luck - just know it's up to you!

To not have to work harder than everyone else who ISN'T so big, as compensation. To not going home after work to put on stretchy comfy clothes. To not bracing before any family gathering wondering who will make cracks about weight or eating (okay, that will still bug the heck out of me, but I won't feel like the primary target!) Not hearing the bed creak when i sit on it at night. To choosing what to wear because I like looking good, instead of choosing what makes me look less fat. To no longer living in fear I'll fall and injure myself due to so much weight crashing down. To never again breaking a toilet seat at someone else's house (it was AWFUL!). To planning longer backpack trips because I can carry enough for 6 days instead of only three. To not feeling my kayak sink lower in the Water than it should. To doing the Tough Mudder with my daughter instead of just buying the pics! Thanks you guys - this was a really great exercise - and just what I needed while I"m waiting forever for a date! Thank you thank you! And I LOVE your lists!!

Chike and Unjury make coffee flavored protein shakes that are pretty good cold. Also my grocery store sells a coffee extract for flavoring things. Those might help until your doc okays the Real Thing. I'm pre-planning for it now, as I LOVE how coffee tastes and hate to start the day without my beloved Verismo Latete. GOod luck!

I"m so sorry to hear what you've been going through - that's awful, and definately takes the joyful thrill out of hitting the 100s! Rats!! A guy at our weight loss surgery support group last night (now several years out) talked about that last night since he had the same thing. For what it's worth he said it worked and all was well after that. We're all different though, and your case is YOU - so you absolutely deserve to vent! Go for it!!

That's so awful! What a louse - I agree about sending the letter, and send a copy to the practice's board or to customer service if they have such a thing. Follow up with a call to be sure they received it too. I"m in the middle of doing this with my insurance company not for a bad appt, but because anything I schedule is 3 months out and their backlog is causing problems. Strong letters, emails and calls from articulate and accurate patients seem to get attention, so go for it! And again, so sorry you've had to go through so much with this outfit! Ouch!!

I'm also still preop, and was feeling those same worries about never having the pleasure of certain eating habits again. But honestly that started to really fade as i read more and more of the success stories and people's responses on this site, as they found they didn't crave or miss those things as much as they thought they would, AND how much other pleasures overcame that, like crossing one's legs, hiking, biking, knees that don't ache, etc. I'm looking forward to those changes, even if there will be some grieving over the place food has (sadly) filled in my life. Hang in there, and keep reading from other posts on the topic.

That's great! Congratulations, and good for you hanging in there with all of these interminable hoops we have to go through. YAY! I"ve been approved since November but the backlogue at Group Health is so bad I'm not likely to get a surgery date until October. Groan. I"m fighting it though and trying to move things along as much as humanly possible. It give me good hope to hear you got a date now given how long you've been waiting. I love your profile pic too Scylla. Nice -- or should I say, 'not nice' given the character?

You guys are lucky - my provider says no drinking 30 minutes before and for an hour afterwards. Given the number of meals and amount of Water i'm supposed to do post-surgery, I'm not sure there will be time to sleep or work!

Sounds scary for you - so sorry you're dealing with this sans insurance! I know six glasses sounds like a lot, but that's only 48 ounces, and the recommendations I was given say at least 64 or more per day. Any meds or added temps or dry heat or salty foods could affect that and mean more water is in order too. I wonder about drinking more water for a few days spreading it out all day? Also, since you have a doc who did your surgery, it might mean you could call the nurse line and leave a message asking the question, (or email) and just say you can't come in for another couple months insurance-wise but are worried about this. They might go ahead and answer anyway, or at least tell you if that's enough water or not. Worth a try anyway, just because this is your health we're talking here. Good luck - and I'll be some of the long-timers on here can answer your question better too.

I agree - Pure Protein is a really good one, and I also like Muscle Milk Light in both Choc and vanilla. They 14 oz size (too big by half) only has 12 grams sugar, and two of those are in the fiber. It has 25 grams protein - and lots of drug stores carry it, as does Target.

I take a lot of Ferrous Gluconate now - and almost every Walgreens harries it, but it's oddly not where you'd think,, so when i go to a new store I have to ask specifically for that, and the pharmacist always knows! Sometimes (like in London) they keep it behind the counter and you have to ask for it. I circled that store forever looking until I asked - and they just kindly handed it over! Good luck - and btw, I have NO constipation trouble with it, and take two tabs twice a day. Seriously anemic here.

"Just diet"? Is that like "Just learn to be kind, supportive, thoughtful, intelligent and appropriate?" If so, I'll definately look forward to the day THOSE people can show me how easy it is!

I have no waiting requirement but the HMO I'm on is SO backed up it's going to take a full year now. I'm beyond pissed off and somehwere between heartbroken and irate this week. Still - nothing I can do to change that, except complain almost weekly to their customer service number. As for nutritional counseling, well--we have to pay $500 out of pocket for it, and expect to have four sessions. One is in the large group class (nothing that wasn't in our start-up packet) and then I just had my first one-on-one. The intake form asked what I hoped to get out of the session, and I listed three nutrition-related things I wanted to know. Never once did she look at those or answer them. She took the entire hour to read through the nutritional booklet I BROUGHT WITH ME and had already read, pausing only when i interupted with monor questions about her info not agreeing with what was written. Seriously - NO help. The idea of two more of these canned session, which I have to take off work for, it irritating as heck. Long and short, don't feel too bad if a hutritionist isn't required. So far it's no help at all. And my three questions never did get answered. When I have my post op session i'm going to tell them in advance that I expect someone to address these, and that I will have read the material first, and so i don't need her to read it to me. (Though I'd likely get better and quicker answer by asking all of you wonderful veterans on this forum!)

Although it was not the same kind of group, I went to my HMO's weight loss surgery support group for people before and after and veterans -- most of the people who kept coming back a year or more later had lost almost all of their weight and we're keeping it off. People only a few months out we're doing pretty well but struggling and brought their questions. Interesting to me was how well the women were doing a year and two years out--they looked great and seemed to really have their act together, speaking up appropriately and waiting so as not to interrupt, but offering support and ideas. there were also a handful of men who were a year to 18 months out--and I wondered if they had anyone at home have talked to them, because you could not get a word in edgewise with these guys. lots of over talk, whispered comments, and interrupting. they weren't even roundly outnumbered as a gender. After I got over feeling cross with them for the constant interrupting, I started to feel bad and wondered if they had friends to talk with, since I think women do that much more easily about such issues. Anyway, I spoke with the Cordinator afterwards and she confirmed that the odds worked that way from what she saw; people who kept coming back to the support group seem to be doing very well in general, and sticking with their program. She did not say much about the people who don't come, exempt by omission, and it left me wondering how easily accessible these support groups are to everyone. Hope so!

No kidding--and yes, I think that's insensitive! It would leave me hurt and kind of alone feeling at a scary tender time. Don't keep it all in - tell him how you feel. He doesn't have to change his eating because you had surgery, but the first few days might warrant a bit more thoughtfulness. Also he may well just be eating his favorite comfort food to attempt to comfort his own feelings of fear and panic, or relief that you made it through. I'd hate to guess, but he may not realize what a wart he's being. That's just cold! While it's true your surgery doesn't necessarily change someone else's behavior, I'd expect my beloved to be a bit more sensitive the first week anyway. Good luck, and remember how much of a good thing you've just done for YOUR body, and how you took control of a good decision for your health. It'll be paying off well enough that i'll bet steak and potatoes pale in comparison soon! Besides, you'll be able to have them in the future too.

Dear CuriouslyHopeful - that's wonderful! Congratulations, and double so that your beloved is so supportive. Yes, it's true you'd have to quit before surgery anyway, but it's a lovely show of care and support. My husband-to-be played a part in my quitting smoking 30 years ago, when after our first kiss I wondered if I tasted unpleasant to a man who'd quit smoking (did so back when he worked for a tobacco company it grossed him out so much!). Anyway, I got through one day, and then the next and on day three I wanted one SO bad. I almost went back to that emergency pack--but then I thought of how freaking hard my first day had been, and the next one too. And I never wanted to go through those awful first two days again! I told myself that every day, knowing eventually I'd quit if I ever started again, and knowing it would never ever get any easier, nor was my beloved going to smoke again - gave me better strength and determination. Now if only dieting had been like that all these years, eh?! You can do it - it's really and truly worth it - and you CAN do it!!

Awe-inspiring! You look great, and in addition to cheering you on, I appreciate your encouring post for my own sake. Well done!

Dear Want2 bthin, Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!! Your story is so inspirational, and gets me hope while I am waiting hell I can get in for the surgery. I'm all approved, but group health is so darn busy it takes four months to get a psych eval, and two or three more months to see the surgeon--then another couple for a surgery date, so reading your post and hearing how well you are doing is incredibly helpful to me. Your two year perspective is also good for giving me better perspective on time. Thank you--once again. Yours were the words I needed to hear, and you look fantastic!!

Sometimes when you are losing weight rapidly, you don't have a period regularly, or if your body fat gets very very low. Call. The consult line and ask - you'll rest easier!

A friend of mine bought those soft stretchy 'pajama jeans' that look like denim but are soft and stretchy - almost like joga pants. She said they worked great for gong to work after surgery since there was no tight waistband or big button/zipper to cause pain as she moved. Also they were cheap enough to order a couple and just toss since she says she wore them nearly every day!

There's a point where we begin teaching our mothers a thing or two - and while we hope it's a loving and graceful part of the growing relationship - it ain't always so! TOo bad your mum didn't go to the orientation with you to see and hear those things which might have helped. The older generation often eneds to hear it from 'experts' instead of us to really believe it. Are there other close connections you can rely on for that support? Someone from church or work might be able to come and help post-op with you. I know you'd like it from her, but it might take longer for her to come around to it. Give her a bit of time - maybe she will.

My doc says no caffeine for two months post-op, but decaf is okay - but like people say, being careful what you add in. I'm a starbucks addict (plain NF latte thank you!) and am starting to do half-caffienated to get ready for SOMEDAY moving up the insufferably long wait list for the surgery. I have the Verismo espresso maker at home, and use the decaf pods all the time and can't even tell is decaf really. Ask for a demo at a startbucks stand alone store - but tell them to use decaf and see if you like it. I was impressed.

Oh you poor thing! Yikes - what a way to learn that limit. I hope you're okay. I'd read a couple books about women who pushed their limits, and were just fine except a few incidents like you describe, but it sounds so UNfun that I'm sure you've warmed me and several others off such things for a while. Take care, and good luck on finding new ways to celebrate with well-meaning loving friends. Maybe a shot glass of Jello instead of the good stuff?

Thank you Kathy and Elfnow - your words are so kind and encouraging, and really help. It's so disappointing, and I am really excited to do this. i'll keep focusing on the good that can come from it when it finally DOES happen. It's just hard to start working on weight loss when I'm afraid to go below what the BMI limit is, and in 7-8 months I could maybe do that. I've heard everyone say it's your starting weight that they use, but with all of these rule changes i've heard from Group health, I just don't trust the pencil pushers to keep that in place, and not change it too. You two both make good points too - thank you. As for the reason for changes, I can understand them wanting everyone to see a 'real psychologist' and not just the social worker as they'd done before, but she's only got two appointment times each week she's allowed to give the the bariatric dept, so everyone is now waiting forever. They had hired a second surgeon, but she quit saying it was too much work - and not GH has decided not to hire another, so the doc is scheduled out that far too. I'm glad they're careful, but they're also unrealistic about the impact this has on people. Uhg. With your encouragement and kindness though, I'll be able to hang in there.

My biggest frustration is not even getting TO the stall! I've been working towards this surgery now for many months, and since Group Health in Washington is so freaking cheap, they have my psych evaluation nearly four months out from when I called for it. Now today I learned that instead of looking for a June surgery (previously they said May) now after the psych eval is scored i'll have to wait another 3 months for a pre-op with the surgeon, and then another two months for the actual surgery date. It's making me NUTS. I love you all, and love the boards here, but please, please, don't anyone tell me this is a process and to be patient. I really do know that....but right now I'm just upset and frustrated. Maybe tomorrow I can embrace the #$%^&* process. sigh.