j_war06

Well my sister is thin and always has been (partially because she is my 1/2 sis) and everytime I drop her name as my sis someone always has to mention the fact in the line "damn why don't you look like your sister?" I hate that

thanks Kathy, atleast someone in this world thinks that what I have to say is interesting. I think you all find it interesting because you don't see me everyday like everyone else lol! I have been through a little bit of everything, instead of a whole lot of one or two things. I think I am supposed to relate it all together some day, hmmmm guess we will see huh?

Thanks for understanding, I really needed to let that vent since I really havent said anything. I don't even go to school anymore, so I don't think about it. Honestly though if someone that much older than me had done that to me I probably woulda been scarred for life and felt weak, without the help of a parent doing to me what yours did to you. I can see as to where that could be some emotional scarring, but don't let it trouble you with the psychological part of the exam. The surgeon basically wants to know that you are competent enough to know that your whole life is going to change, but being "skinny" doesn't fix everything, its just a piece to the puzzle. I do not have to go through that process since I already see a therapist. So, goodluck

O ok I see whats going on here, I had to publish them to MSN, so I will just try to send them to Penni

Wow, ppl are so shallow, if they could live a day in our shoes right?

Well, I see a psychiatrist and I am not an emotional eater or anything, I didn't gain weight because I ate when I was upset, I gained it because it was in my genes, and when I was depressed I didn't eat anything, and when I was okay I ate something, maybe not a lot, but it turned straight to fat. Basically I am severely depressed, but it is actually helping me in my appeal process since it is a side affect of obesity in my case. Basically, ever since I was little I have had a rear end the size of a prize-winning watermelon and perverted guys all through my life (the same age or a little older, sometimes slightly younger) would um comment on my *assets* and I finally filed sexual harassment by a class mate in 3rd grade, and it has stuck with me. It didn't make me feel good, I was 9!! It made me feel even fatter and outcasted. I had to file another sexual harassment charge my freshman year against a very large football player who continued to harass me all through spanish class and actually tried to put his hand in my crotch during class (through my jeans) and I moved away trying not to cause a scene right? Just a horny teen boy, but when he moved along with me and proceeded to make lude comments on the fact that I chewed on the top of my pens and pencils and that my rear was large, and I was the perfect size for him, and asking me sexual questions that were not welcome, I became very worried that he may rape me. Well it was close to the end of the semester and I thought he was a senior so I didn't worry about it, and just sat in a part of the room around ALL guys, with me in the middle, whether they liked it or not, and I was talking in class to someone one day and the boy had the audacity to slap my butt and grab it. That is when my hero, another guy that wasn't so big, but was PISSED stood up and defended me. Well that was all great until sophomore year rolled around and the harasser was actually a junior the previous year, and was in my algebra class. I am horrible at algebra, and his comments did not help. He was always calling me things like "big love" in the class and hallways, that was a clean one that I could post. Turns out he figured out the area that I lived in and then I was scared he would try to rape me for real, come to my house, now it was personal. After speaking to my mom, I decided to try and handle it alone, and spoke to the assistant principal (who is a stern woman) and she totally misunderstood my complaint, I did not care that he was calling me big, it was the touching that was unwelcome. So for a month he left me alone personally, but socially he ruined me, called me a racist and stuff, but in reality I didnt have a prob with his color, I had a prob with his ludeness. Anyways, he was eventually moved from the class after threatening me, my parents, and my bf that he would beat the **** out of all of us. Also, I was in a theatre audition when I started talking to a guy who was so cool, and funny and I just thought he would be an awesome friend. After the audition he, not in so many words (not trying to be vulgar) asked me when I would perform oral sex on him. That is where that ended right there, I told him that you do not speak to a lady like that and yadadadadada like it mattered but atleast he knew how I felt right? Anyways, I really havent had any sexual abuse, jsut harassment, and I am tired of it, if it were not for my weight I don't think these ppl in particular would have done this to me. I think they perceived me as weak because of my weight, and thought they could get something that they couldn't. *sorry this is so long, but I haven't thought about it in a while, and never really related it to a weakness issue, hmmmmm thanks for the post

Oh, wow Charles, I never thought about that until I had a guy in my theatre class this past year that was as self-conscious about his weight as I was about mine. I guess the reason women think that is because it is more socially acceptable for a man to be big than a woman, just not by much. It still can make me so mad that I can go into a store and not be able to find anything bigger than my pinkie, and look over and find out they carry a much larger (literally) variety of men's clothing (stores like American Eagle and Aeropostale)

That is true, kids don't know the difference (most of the time anyway) until they see something different. Don't you all hate it when thinner people think that you don't deserve to have a bf, mate, husband or whatever because you are big?? That is one of the reasons I broke up with my bf, I have gotten so freaked out by all these people telling me that they don't understand why my bf was dating me, that I just didnt seem like his type, and honestly I think they may be right. BIG GIRLS NEED LOVE TOO lol!!!!!!

Thanks Penni

Wow, Muffinbirdie, that haircut in the last pic you posted is REALLY flattering to your facial shape, also your looking great, you progress has really inspired me

Well, I know how to attach them, but I want the pic in the message box not as a link elsewhere, PLEASEEEEEEEE HELP!!!

hmmm, how else can I do them besides publishing them to the web?? It's hard because I can see them on my computer

lol, I know the feeling sometimes

I can see the pics This is my first time to put them on here and I published them to the web and used the insert picture link in the posting thingy, but I did accidently make them big and that may be why they can't be seen

Well my BMI is 42, and I have sleep apnea, hyperextension, TMJ, Depression, and CFS, and they denied me, so good luck

Wow, that's harsh coming from your own kids.

Yeah I am on two anti-depressents, I used to take Zoloft, but I had a reaction to it so I switched to Welbutrin and I have been going to therapy for a year and been on anti-depressents for about 3 years now

Hey everyone, I havent posted a thread in a while because I have been doing great, but sometimes I just feel so unattractive, and about an hour ago I spoke with some of my friends that were hanging out at the local pool and I couldn't go because of my co-morbidities. I have finally realized that even if I woke up banded tomorrow that I will never get to be a real teenager because this horrible disease (obesity) has taken over my life! All of a sudden I just had a nervous break down, I realized that I didn't break up with my bf because he thought I was too fat (which he never said, I felt it was implied), but maybe he is just trying to be a teenager too. For the past 5 years I feel like I have been holding him back and mentally forcing him to feel like he needed to cater to me, but in reality everyone deserves to be a real teenager, even me, but that time is gone now, I will never lose the weight fast enough to be able to go out and do stuff like everyone else. I think my bf finally realized that I do have a serious disease and problems and that they will not be fixed in time to do much of anything, I just want my senior year to work out, but it's already July 14, school starts back August 15 and I still havent heard from the insurance company or my orthopedic surgeon, and I won't be able to go back (I have been homebound since March 1) until January. That means I'll miss homecoming, but its not like I even know those people, I haven't been to school enough to know them, I miss so much. I JUST WANT TO BE A TEENAGER!!! But we can't go back in time can we?? I have wasted so much time being fat that I forgot that I could be skinny, and everytime I think about the fact that I will be someday with this surgery it makes me tear up with happy tears, but then I remember that I won't be able to spend the new "skinny time" with anyone that I have grown up with. Lately I have been kind of crazy with jealously and depression, everything is getting worse because of the obesity and I am jealous that all my friends can go out and have fun and be teenagers, but I can't I have to stay at home on the couch so that my legs will be rested enough to go to college at night. :cry P.S. Sorry to be such a downer all the time, but I really need this place to be able to let out my feelings and emotions to real ppl, not psychiatrists

I am still having some hard days dealing with my weight and its relativity to my depression, and frankly I feel like crap on those days, but I come on here and see ya'lls before and after pics and I feel so much better that I will be posting mine in a few more months

I know exactly what u mean because I was one of those "fat kids" but I wasn't nearly as big as some of these parents let their children get, I have always been pretty proportional, and nobody could tell my weight, but I have done the same thing whenever I goto the mall I count all the overweight and obese people, especially kids. Just everytime I see a large child and their parents I just want to cry because their parents do not care enough to take care of the prob before they are in atleast grade school. I really hate it when I see a skinny, hot lil mama with a chubby little girl, it's like she does it so that her daughter will never be as pretty as her. I dunno I just want to cry for those little kids because kids were mean when I was little, and now kids are meaner to their peers than they ever have been. Just the other day I was at a chinese buffet and out of that whole place, there were two people that were the right weight for them. Everyone else in the joint could have stood to lose another 50 or more pounds. It's just hard for me to believe that this is happening

Ha, see I knew I wasn't the only one who has to hear all these types of comments! Do you all know how many little kids ask me if I am having a boy or a girl?? Thinking that because I am big, that I am pregnant????LOL!! Oh YEAH!! I was babysitting a few weeks ago for my ex's boss and coworker. They had two little 8 year old girls who are just hilarious anyway. Well I took them to the lake to swim, and as we were leaving I noticed some weird footprints, it was a relatively small foot with a HUGE big toe (like they had dug that one in on purpose playing around) and I pointed it out to the girls. One of the said "OHHH It must be big foot" and the other one said "No goofy, it's just a fat person's foot." At which I promptly told them that not all fat ppl have big feet, and told them to look how small mine are (I still wear children's shoes). Then they both said "Miss Jodie you ARE NOT FAT!!!" And proceeded to tell me I was too fun to be fat, then I took them to the pool that night and they were playing around on me, like jumping on my in the pool, and I would take them down to the deep end and that kind of stuff, all of a sudden I hear "MISS JODIE YOUR BUTT IS LIKE A TRAMPOLINE!!!!" I am usually self-conscious about my MEGA REAR but I couldn't help but laugh soooooo hard I thought I was going to drown.

lol, my ex has a cousin that is like the perfect girl, she is gorgeous and STUCK-UP and she never failed to ask him "why are you and that fat girl dating?" and also "if she would lose weight she would be so pretty." This is so horrible because I have known her for longer than I have known him and now I am just the "fat girl", what is hilarious is that she has forgotten where she has come from, before her mother was knocking down 250,000 a year, she wasnt making anything and this girl was "fat" and her mother is aneorexic and all she ever does and still does is rag her about her weight, while she does the same to other ppl, and my ex would feel sorry for her!!!! Well that's why he's my ex right?

Great choice, I would have lost my job and freedom due to the urge to "assault and batter" that person and put her in her ignorant little place. I hate it when thin ppl make fun of big people just because they can and think they are so much better than the big person, in reality they are just luckier. I better not ever see that wench, I might have to go nuts, lol

I would, I finally get my perfect body and now there is an imperfection in my dream turned reality. Her port should have been smaller and deeper into the body, this problem sounds like an accident waiting to happen. Also she may have a different type of banding system than those who have gotten their band in the U.S. since only one band is legal here, while many other kinds are legal elsewhere. Why not get the surgery in the states? I just don't get where you are cutting any costs what so ever

I kinda know what you are going through. I just recently broke up with my bf of about 3 serious years because I felt like ever since he found out I am getting the band, he started distancing himself away from me and basically bragging about thinner girls that come around him, like he's trying to make me jealous. In reality, yeah he is a good looking guy, but he is a huge ASS, bigger than my real one lol, and I have since realized that he will always depend on me to provide for him and he will not want to do anything for me in return. I am still EXTREMELY emotional about the breakup but to make myself feel better I have decided to goto a college in a beach town on the Gulf of Mexico and think about how he will miss out on my love because no other woman can give him that, but he never returned it, so I am going to give it to someone else. He and I have been best friends for A LONGGGGG time and started dating, but I think he wanted me because I was a comfort level and he never worried about me cheating or dressing sexy or anything, but now that I am going to get banded he started pulling away and I got rid of him like a month ago. As far as I am concerned he is history, even when I get down and want him soooooooooooooooo bad I can't stand it, I remember how sexy I will look in a mini skirt and how he will not be able to have me when he wants me soooooooooooooooo bad.