j_war06

yeah, i believe it was worth it!

i did self-pay

I sneak a budlight or corona every now and then, but I usually stick to cocktails....I admit that I was on the way to alcoholism, but I havent been drinking as much lately which is great....its partially because im scared because they think I may just now be developing diabetes! After all Ive gone through, not having any signs or anything...then I lose weight and it hits me! Ridiculous!

i know, but he knows whats going on there....Im not gonna kick him to the curb lol! I still need some late night lovin! haha thats horrible of me! My male stripper has an agent sort of thing, more like a bookie or whatever.....Im not gonna do it, I still weigh like 180lbs, not good for a stripper! Im sitll geitting free stuff out of it tho! yay

yes i want you guyz opinions, if i didnt I wouldnt post on here....so say it! lol I will not take up the offer, as i did say....the compliment was merely that I was pretty enough and had the moves to be a stripper...which Ive never heard in my whole life....I spent the night with him last night, and all day today....I got a little sick (the band ofcourse!) and he took care of me today! HEY! atleast he's a good player! I only have the two men....Im starting to crack down on my whole life....Im working, although I dont like it, its not hard, its not a bad job....its just not what I like to do....I like to work in retail and in clerical, not in restaurants....I dont have the mentality to put up with people yelling at me all day! I cant handle it! But ive only been there a week so Im gonna stick it out, until I find something else

oh no! Im not interested in actually dating the stripper....however he does have another job and he goes to college...its not like that is his only source of income. He is actually a respectable guy, and I would even let my parents meet him... As for Bartender, I spent the night there last night and all day today...I know he is a man whore, or I pretty much suspect it of him lol! BUT he is offering me a lot....however Im not going to take it as more than a compliment, I will not actually do it because Im not comfortable enough with my body..........let me get to the point....he wants me to be a dancer, and by dancer I mean a pretty word for stripper! ITS SO FLATTERING! He was telling me how much money I could make! He wants to be my agent of sorts (thats how stripping works)......I think its sooooo weird because thats definately one thing Ive never heard before in my life! Dont you guys think that is strange? He says that if i stick with him, then he will pay for anything I want....he wants to pay for my breast implants (which I mentioned, not him) and anything else I want...he wanted to take me shopping today! Just because! But I didnt have time because of work! Im so still in shock! He wants to take care of me, and he wants me to quit my job I have now...which i cant because I just started and I like it enough not to quit, however I cant help but let that linger in the back of my mind.........someone actually thinks I could be a stripper!

I dont get attached because well actually i dont know a friend of mine and I were talking about this earlier.....but I guess that I kno Im not actually official with any of them, that I dont feel bad ??? Maybe its because I know none of them are THE ONE, so I dont care ??? Maybe I was so hurt by my last relationship that Im afraid to have feelings for someone else, so it doesnt matter..... But I know that Im not actually pinned to one guy, so I dont really care....I really lack on the feelings side tho....I suppose Im still waiting around until my ex and I decide to settle down again? And Im just occupying my time....many things to consider Frankly, it doesnt even really bother me to see them flirt with other chicks....but thats because I know that at the end of the night, if I work it, they will come home with me I would actually consider dating the stripper (if we were talking about just meeting and no fooling around at first ya know?) He really is caring and a good guy, believe it or not, its the truth....he calls or texts me every day just to say hi...not to come over.....so that says a lot really

Punkey! Dude if you can learn to shoot a certain kind of Liquor you will be everyone's hero! Mine is Rum, used to be Vodka or Malibu, but I ended up getting tired of it! Trust me, if you can get your tolerance up, ur everyone's hero! lol! I kno I am! I drink 3 times as much as everyone else i go out with, I impress the bartenders and thats sayin something

Im hoping for a "great" V-Day night, make a couple of phone calls....most likely the stripper would be hotter on VDay right? LOL! Im so bad! I did a special thing for my friend for Valentine's day, I went and bought a bunch of stuff and put it in a baggy for him. he and his ex-bf are still broken up, and he just cant get over it.......so I bought a lot of cool stuff plus roses to give to him. I like to do that sort of thing for others... As for me, I bought myself some flowers and am taking myself out for dinner (maybe) and probably do homework until one of my boys comes over.....You know, it doesnt even bother me that much that Im my own Valentine......just sickening to see all the other mushy crap!

oh lordy, drunken nights! I do that most nights outta the week lol! College is amazing! As far as the calories go, I dont eat that much, so I can handle the calories in the drinks....I love this things my special (and I do mean special) bartender puts together called illusions......trust me, you know its for me, its about 3 times stronger than a normal one! lol and its about 3 dollars cheaper too! Yay for me and flirting!

I was 17 when I got the band, Im 19 now....Im still just a baby! Its kinda tuff when your young and have it, but its also a good thing, especially when ur in college

its great! I love my classes which helps a lot in attendance. I only have evening and night classes so that helps too....everything is going well as far as school is concerned

lol, Im proud of my stripper....I LOVE MUSCULAR GUYS! Its just someone I never thought I could get, ya kno? He's coming over tonight too

well...I have to go out atleast on the weekends because I partially work at the club I go out to.......its not necessarily the feeling of booty call that bothers me at all, I dont want a real relationship right now...Ive figured that out so far...after being in one so serious for so long, I just dont want to put that much effort into another human being....the stripper doesnt make me feel like one anyways, hes had his eye on me since September! In fact he was a little nervous to talk to me again, he got my friend to do it for him at first...I need that male attention to feel pretty. I feel good because Im attractive enough to get that attention from guys...I really just like to feel attractive....Ithink my hormones are wacked from BC pills...in fact Im sure of it. Im getting them switched Monday so I should be feeling better. I dont feel degraded by guys unless they are talking about how fat I am, or ugly or something like that....I really like the attention. Trust me it felt good fall asleep in a man's arms, and wake up in them too....to be held with such passion that he didnt want me to get out of the bed. He's called me all day anyway, he's actually got a heart.

Hey guys! I had a friend stay over last night.....well I can mark dream #2 off my list......HE'S A STRIPPER! But he's actually very passionate! I was so SHOCKED!!! He actually spent the whole night....He left at almost noon...He would have probably stayed all day, but I had to go to work. He's freaking HOT btw! Im proud of myself, if anything its one for the trophy case lol! Happy DANCE! Ok,

so....Ive got another man.......lol......a stripper! ahhh.....heaven

Ok, so Im feeling down in the dumps again for some reason, and now Im pissed at wal*mart too! I am in a depressed mood, so I decide Im gonna go shopping and the only thing open is Wal*Mart, I get probably $100 worth the stuff, and I decide to chek out, I watched them close 2 or 3 registers right in front of me...so Then I have to stand in a long long long line because they decide to only have two checkers, Im behind about 15 ppl, no joke.......so I just got pissed off, yelled at the lady closing the lines, and left..................... I dont know why I feel like this, I had one bad day in the past 2 weeks....maybe because Im feeling sick. I went out last night even though I felt bad....met a hot guy that was being very forward with me, and I couldnt even do anything because Im sick !! I guess I miss the days when life was much more simple, yet it seemed so complicated ????? Now I would have that back, but only for ONE day! I have school work to do, and I dont even want to do it....I start work next Saturday....I just have an issue this time of year....I miss my grandfather more than anything......and quite frankly I feel like a whore because I condone casual sex without being in a relationship with that person........I LOVE all the attention ofcourse......but I really miss that connection that my ex and I had......although Im happier without him...I guess I need to leave the boys alone??? I feel like crap because I just decided to become a booty call, and trust me my ego is right at the top for a few days, then it just plummets down really low........maybe Im an attention whore, I need it all the time to be happy...because when Im in a large crowd of ppl, and getting compliments and getting hit on Im SOO happy, but when I go home, I just feel like crap.........hmmm....I guess I use this as blogging more than anything

' Lol! Well I had a little romp with my guys several times, and he never even noticed my scars, much less my port, which tends to protrude...so dont worry about it....I had to explain to him what it was, he's a smart boy, he got it pretty quick...he never feels it at all (hehe even when hes on top of me lol!)<-----TMI I know

lol! I danced with the ex-stripper cop....turns out he happens to know a male stripper friend of mine (whom ive made out with!)! I found him at the club Friday night and I almost melted....ofcourse boytoy got a little jealous lol!High-maintanence aint no thing lol! Im high maintanence myself.....the exstripper was there with a chick and, not to sound too conceited, but she wasnt as pretty as me, shes not that much thinner than me either! Woo hoo! lol! NeWayz, Im gonna call the boytoy and see if he wants to come over tonight, he gets off work in an hour, so Im hopin he will! Im very subtle with the exstripper because I dont worship the ground he walks on, I dont like to do that with guys....thats what makes him flirt back with me a little....but boytoy does worship the ground I walk on lol! And i like that!

Lol! I do have to live within my means! This guy Im with for now, my little fun thing, its pretty cute himself, plus free drinks at the club! Im sitting here debating on if I want him to come over tonight or not....hmmmm....hard decision?????

yeah, Im not looking for perfection in any sense....but Im having fun with this bad boy...But im not a Britney Spears, Im not even going to attempt to change him....let it be fun while it lasts....I already know he will be a little posessive, but I can deal with that.....as long as its not ridiculously obsessive.....He's older than me (by like maximum of 6 years) so, I understand that he can do more than me, and I dont care....as long as he comes around by 3 am, Im happy lol! Im really not wanting him to call tonight, because frankly and TMI, Im sore, and hes a freak in the sheets.....I dont even care if he doesnt really like my body, something about it turns him on, and as long as he lies (if he is lying) I will be happy lol! Because it makes me feel great

I really dont know what to call it.....its open because I will flirt with other guys.....and I dont care if he does with other girls....I really prefer him not to have sex with them for fear of disease and that sort of thing.....but we are not technically dating.....more like consistently hooking up....which is fine, I dont need the stress of a real bf right now.....plus he's too much of a bad boy to try to tame lol! It more or less works in his favor of course lol, because Im not up to it all the time, and I like my alone time right now, so its no big.....however he has taken me to other worlds I never knew existed.....lol.....its a fun thing, its not a permenant thing.....Im sure that eventually my ex will probably step into my life again, and I will likely end up with him...

Good News Ladies and Gentlemen! I have a guy in my life...we are in an open relationship, which is best for both of our lifestyles at the moment....No I dont see this going too far into the future, but Im liking it right now! Hes been chasing me for months now, and I finally gave in......and dude its pretty sweet!

Im going into the law field, where as women are automaticlly judged for choosing that path...although many are successful...Most of the time they are going to take someone who is more put together, prettier, thin (shows that if they can take care of themselves, they can take care of their job). BTW As of Sunday, Im in an open relationship with someone I would have never put myself with....Its just a little fun romp, or whatever....Its a confidence booster fo sho, and hes really cute.....he came over last night, and lemme tell you, I had the time of my life! I couldnt see myself like with him as a real boyfriend but the benefits are great from the relationship................lol! Im actually happy....he's been chasing me for months and I finally realized that I wasnt just a piece, that he really is attracted to me...trust me, its almost a problem, I cant within inches of him without him feeling a little warm lol! Feels great......good relationship status for my life situation right now..... Only problem.........he has the same name as my Ex, and trust me, thats a little freaky.......Just have flashbacks....lol

I have no idea who Karen Carpenter is??? Sorri.....Ive heard of her, but that is it.....Ive never in my life been thin, and Ive cant remember (although I have been) being less than 160lbs in my entire life! I want to be at 120lbs so bad! Face it, I will never be successful in my chosen career until I lose weight, because it is male-dominated....and Women in that field have to use their "powers" to get anywhere (no that doesnt mean you have to sleep with them)