rouquinne

I joined this site a few years ago because I finally made it to the contestant pool for Jeopardy and saw the horrible comments made online about women who appear on the show - especially the larger women. At my insistence, my family doctor referred me to the WLS program in Windsor, Ontario. The experience was horrible and I ended up getting booted from the program before I even got started. In the intervening 3 years, I've done nothing for myself. I haven't had a relationship (or sex) since February 2009, a 2-month relationship that started a year after I was dumped by my fiance. Since then, I've gone on a few dates here and there. Only 2 people have seriously expressed interest in me and I didn't believe a word because I don't believe in myself. Internet dating is the worst as an overweight woman pushing 60. Men are cruel to you. Last summer, one of the 2 people who expressed interest made overt physical overtures and I couldn't go through with it. We went out 2 weeks ago and he met my two BFFs. Today he told me he wants to date the single one. She's 4 foot 11 and weighs 100 pounds. I'm 5 foot 2 and weigh 250. I told him I can't speak to him anymore; I feel like every time he called me beautiful was a lie. Last December, I was contacted by someone I went to high school with; we went on a couple of dates that went nowhere. I told him that I was no longer the slender with big boobs brunette he knew. He said it didn't matter. We finally went out for a Saturday in mid-January, after 3 to 5-hour long conversations every night for weeks. He said that he could move anywhere in Canada with his new job and could live here (he's in Toronto, 2 hours away). We spent an entire day talking and talking and talking. And then.... nothing. He claimed he had an anxiety attack and withdrew completely. And I have no idea why. Was he repulsed by my size, change his mind??? *sigh* So now, I find myself here, contemplating surgery to lose weight, because I hate myself so much again.... I would wait until everything was done, weight gone, plastic surgery out of the way. And probably a long stretch of therapy to work on the complete lack of self-esteem.

Thank you everyone, that's quite reassuring!

Hi, I'm new - still in contemplation phase after getting bounced from the program in the province of Ontario, Canada. I will be totally on my own doing this and would like to know the answer to this question, too, please. So many of you are talking about bringing rather large amounts of cash with you. Thank you.