1Cor2:9

I will keep that in consideration.

I suppose it is just a difference of perspective. I would not feel comfortable telling someone I did not know well based on a snap shot they had self esteem issues. I feel that is judgmental and a little short sighted. I also think telling some one how it feel is often not helpful or needed in most situations. As you said this is an open forum. We should feel free to disagree or agree with someone. Is that snark because I disagree? When I post something am I just suppose to agree with everything or just say nothing? Snark in my humble opinion is when a person is trying to be hurtful. I am just trying to defend myself. Perhaps shame was the wrong word. Perhaps I should not have felt bad about how last week went, but I can stand up for myself and say that I do not have low self esteem. I did not say anything negative about anyone in a manner that is personal, but I can stand up for myself. With due respect, please explain why this is snark.

Kindle I see that it is you again. Feeling shame over one's failure does not mean I have self esteem issues. I agree that there more to life than a scale. Who said that was all it was? Again I do not equate the emotion shame with how I am as a person. That is something you and others have done on here. I also did not say that shame was the only thing I felt in the past week. I am the type of person if I feel a certain way I say so. The act of me expressing that is not an indicator of anything more a snap shot of that particular moment. Take it for what is was-- a snap shot and stop trying to analyze. I am not going to waste my time answering any of your questions because I have no obligation to you to answer them. Kindle, please feel free to not respond to any more of my post.

I had a moment on Feb. 12, 2016 and presently Feb. 13, 2016. Perhaps I feel differently today than I did yesterday. I am not holding on to anything I am just being honest. Again your assumption that I am "holding on". I am just saying negative feelings can motivate people to change. I am not martyrs. And who said that every time I fail I am going feel the same way each time. Are we at odds @@Babbs because I am not going along with what you said or because we are having some fundamental disagreement? Shame is an emotion. Not a measure of one's moral standing. Whether or not I am a bad person is not a factor. After I made the original post I decided to make some changes as it relates to exercise. I presently feel different. I am trying to figure what you are disagreeing with. I usually do not feel shame or even embarrassment, so haha I am not going to feel shame every time I fail. Having said that, I do not know you and you do not know me, so for you to tell me how to feel is helpful or wanted. What is making you angry? Is it within you or me?

I do not think shame is a bad word. It is what the same produces. What does the moment after bring? Although I am obese I would say that shame is not something I have experienced with any regularity. So if I use the word shame to describe how I am feeling no one else can tell me to think or feel otherwise. It would be one thing if the shame led me to destructive behavior. Even without the goal I still might have felt the shame. I am trying to get people to understand the shame is a point of motivation. Let us focus on that. I never said that I felt I was a bad person. "Bad" is usually a matter of moral character. I have been transformed by Christ. That does not mean I am perfect, but did does mean is that the Father, whose opinion matters most, see me as redeemed by the blood of Christ. Your assumption that I am calling myself a bad person because I did not exercise as much as I wanted this week is a false notion. Shame is a feeling not a measure of one's moral standing.

Shame is a real emotion. I have to acknowledge its presence so that I can move beyond it. Like I said in my original post I am making a game plan to do better next week. Shame should motivate a person to strive to do better the next time. That is how it is working for me. I was just trying to lose 20 lbs by Feb. 14. I did have a stall at week three post op. Besides the stall I have lost weight every week. Once I weigh myself tomorrow I will be even closer to that goal. If I feel disappointed about my meeting a goal that is fine. Disappointment is a frequent companion in life. I am not shocked by the shame or disappointment I am just acknowledging its presence this week. Did I say I was going to just give up? No people. I am just saying I had a rough week.

I lost two pounds this week. Not what I wanted, but better than nothing. My current weight is 251. I am not sure if I am going to make goal because I have to lose seven pounds to make it. I am going to attempt to increase the days in which I work out and see if that helps me to get to 244. I should not feel discouraged, but I do. Between now and next Sunday my goal is to work out each day. As far as eating is concerned I still eat roughly less than 1,000 calories a day. Sometimes water intake is hard because I when I wait the thirty minutes after a meal I forget to drink water. This does not always happen, but it does. Pray that I exercise each day during this final week and increase my water intake as much as I can. Thanks!

I bet you read that title and thought I was suggesting that you should tell everyone about your surgery. This friend, is not what I am talking about. In the song, "Tell Your Friends", the artist Weeknd sang that line, "We are not the same I am reckless, I do s--- how I want to I don't need your blessin'." This will be the focus of this post. The decision to have WLS is a personal one. Even if the motivating factor has to do with being in better health for a loved one. Some may not agree with what we have done. But remember this surgery is not about them. I was told by honestly just a handful of people not to have the surgery. Of course none of them are obese, so they do not understand the struggle. Additionally, as someone who is grown, notice I did not use the word adult, I often times do not need consent from someone else to make a decision. I did not need others approval before I made the decision. I have to do what I think is best for my body. As do you. If someone you know is not willing to partner with you on this journey you may need to leave them behind. That maybe easy to say, but it also maybe the decision that has to be made. For anyone reading this that is still on the pre side of things. My advice to you would be do not seek others blessings in the journey you are about to embark on. This is not about them it is about you. Believe that the Lord will add onto you people whom will have the willingness to support your decision. Whatever you faced as a result of your obesity you faced for the most part alone and the decision to do something about it will have to be singular as well. Now go tell all your friends about it...

I am a teacher. I had my surgery the week before winter break. I returned two days after my break ended. Within reason I would suggest you give yourself more time if you are able. You will not know how you will feel just one week after surgery. For me one week after surgery I was still pretty weak and having intense, although often, momentary pains. I am glad that I took some additional days. Remember when you are a teacher when you step into the classroom you have to take care of you because no one else will. I understand the tension. You are devoted to the kids and you may not want to be away from them for long. Or you do not think the sub will teach them as well as you. However, this is your health and the better health you are in the better teacher you will be. Again give your self a good two to three weeks if you can.

I am a little over three weeks out from my surgery and I am experiencing a stall. I am exercising and following the orders from my surgeon's office. Does anyone have suggestions of how to get over this stall? I only weigh myself once a week, so that I do not drive myself crazy. I know that if I continue to do what I am presently do the stall may work itself out without any additional steps taken, but if I can do something to send it on its way faster let me know.

I weighed myself this morning and I was 253. Three pounds of me gone and that suits me just fine.

First I want to say that since my three week stall I have now lost more than ten lbs, so the stall for now is over. I think people should have the right to "freak" out if they want. You may say. that will not solve anything. That is not the point. The point is to acknowledge how you feel. This is important. Also, I do not think the mere mention of being disappointment about a stall is "freaking out". Anytime one strives for a goal and that goal is not achieved there is going to be disappointment. That is normal. To state over wise is false. So if you experience a stall cry about it, shout about it, throw something (preferably something that will not break), and so on. Then once you have had your moment pick yourself up off the floor and plan again. The journey we are on is going to have all kinds of feelings/emotions the best way to deal with it is to acknowledge it.

I am a few days shy of being six weeks post op. I am also two pounds away from a total weight loss of fifty pounds. As you can imagine my clothes are starting to sag. One of my co-worker friends whom I told that I had WLS has told me on a few occasions that I need to get new clothes and that by keeping my current wardrobe I am showing fear that I will not lose the weight and thus need to hold on to my current clothing. Now people, this is not true. This post is going to explain why my present reluctance to purchase new clothes has nothing to do with holding on as a result of some fear. I researched VSG for two years before I had my procedure. I was fully aware that I would need to overhaul my whole wardrobe. At the same time I am a teacher that is working a new school district in which I make thousands of dollars less than I used to. What this means is that I have to get creative about address my clothing needs in light of a smaller salary. I am going to have to take things in by hand and buy things from thrifts stores. I am blessed that I live near one and on Mondays they have half off days. I want to go about getting new clothes in a way that is financially wise. Additionally, I am not overly concerned with wearing clothes that are too big. I am trying to get this body of mine right. This is my first objective. My pants are starting to look ridiculous, but I am just going to wear belts and later on start taking them in. Dresses and shirts still look just fine. I have clothing that I really like and I would like to keep them even after I lose all my weight. Of course they will need to be tailored to fit the new body, but that is okay. I have some really cute clothing, so if I can keep it why not? As a some what younger sleever, 34, I do not have decades of yo yo dieting. When I was in my twenties I could not afford gym memberships and what not. I do not have that as my personal experience. Anytime I lost weight in the past it was never enough to warrant a whole new wardrobe. This is why I can still fit things from my twenties and even high school. My closet does not house I a wide array of sizes. This idea of holding on to clothes for fear I will gain all this weight back is just not true for me. In Jesus name this weight is not coming back! Anything I keep is because I still look it. If an outfit looks good big it will probably still look good small, right? She has offered to give me her old 16s. My thought is just because the clothing might be the right size, I mean when that time comes, does not mean I will like how they look. So I told her we will see. With that said I will start adding pieces and donating pieces probably close the end of February or early March. If I need something sooner I can just walk a block to the thrift store. In short and in love I just want her to leave me alone about the matter. I know she is trying to be helpful, but I am not going to go into debt trying to impress anyone. Thoughts and go!

Wearing baggy pants do not make me feel bad. Oh, and I know she is trying to be helpful. I just to go about getting my own clothes when I feel ready to do so and in the style I like. I will already have to donate a lot of clothing. She can donate her own stuff! lol Based on the style of pants she wears to work I do not think I would like her pants and that is just me guessing. Besides I have a small closet there is no where to store these clothing. I am not close to wearing a 16. So why not worry about 16s until I actually can fit them. It is just off putting to have someone come up to you at work pull on your clothes and say you need new clothes. I am sure you can see why it is offensive.

I have lost four lbs. 256!

So far I have not experienced constipation post op. However, it did happen to me a few times during the pre op liquid diet. I took an off brand laxative. I purchased Smooth Moves Tea which is a more natural laxative. Or rather it has those properties.

I think what you are experiencing is normal. Sometimes drinking Water while you have craving will help it to go away. I know for me when I was six days out Protein drinks would leave a metallic taste in my mouth, so I would not have used that to deal with head hunger. However, water would help. Remember head hunger will pass if you allow it to. I applaud you for trying develop strategies to deal with head hunger. Head hunger will be a life long battle for us. But the more you deny it weakens the voice.

@@melie, you know you are telling the truth.

Week 3 Stall is over! I lost 6lbs this past week. I just weighed myself this morning! I am now 260.

@@Lord Nikon, thank you. You got it!

Kindle, SERIOUSLY I am going to need you to not be rude. Truth be told I was just seeking encourage. Since I already knew that I am experiencing a stall and know when that happens one must press on with the directions from their dietitian I was not really looking for advise. So I do not need to go and read anything. How about you reread your post and determine if you would have liked to received the same. When people stall it is discourage and they really need to hear is, "hey keep pressing on it will not last." I suppose your rudeness could not allow you to see that.

Obesity is the symptom of underling issues. I am very thankful that I was able to have VSG almost a month ago. However, the surgery is just a medical intervention to a problem that is not solely medical. This post will discuss the emotional/psychological aspects of weight gain. If obesity was simply a medical issue then all WLS would work of 100% of the time. However, we know this is true. Yes the success rate of having surgery is greater than that of people who lost weight by diet and exercise alone. This post is not about the success rate or failure of VSG or any other procedure. If we look at obesity as merely the outcome of inactivity and too high calorie consumption we are not looking at the root cause. How many of us would say this is true of us: *I grow up in a food insecure household and as a result I would either hoard food overeat at meals? *My was physically/sexually/or severely neglected as a child? *I was never thought how to deal with my emotions as a child, so as an adult I dealt with them through what I ate? *I eat when I am hungry *There are indicators in my life that I binge eat I could go on, but I think you are starting to get my point. If we have been misusing food then we must learn what compels us to do so. It is my strongest belief that until we deal with the underlining issues of our emotional eating long term success will be more of struggle and for some it will be impossible. Please know that I am by no means mastered this area of me life, but I am aware it needs to mastered. However, I have read books, I journal, and next month I want to start counseling. I will confess I emotionally eat. I eat to reward myself. I overeat in social settings. I was sexually abused as a child. I started become heavy shortly there after. I view my extra weight as a mark in my physical being of that abuse. I have carried around this mark for close to 30 years. It is my belief that surgery will allow me to remove this mark from my person. Regardless of where you are in the journey if you have not taken the time to exam the emotion/psychological aspects of your obesity I would suggest you do. Exercising-- good. Changing eating habits-- good. Taking the time to heal old wounds-- the best. There is a song with the line, "Lord make me over." I want to be "made over" in my own being not just physically. May the Lord make you over in your entirety.

Thank you for the encouragement. I will keep pressing on.

I personally do not know of anyone, but I would like to imagine it is not that common. People have been having WLS for decades. If it were common place for people to gain back all their weight and then so I really do not think insurance companies, surgeons, the medical field, and not to mention us would embark on such a venture. The original poster wanted to know how common it is and I still think it is pretty uncommon. Now unless you present some research I am sticking to my guns.

If you believed that to be the case why did you have surgery? I do not think the smaller stomach will allow the person to get back to their original weight, but that does not mean the person cannot regain much of what they lost. As previously stated by other members it is not a failure of the surgery, but the person.