shamps4all

I am laughing so hard at this I'm afraid my staples might come out! And the "never trust a fart"...OMG this is the BEST laugh I've had in months!!! Love it!!

I am laughing so hard at this I'm afraid my staples might come out! And the "never trust a fart"...OMG this is the BEST laugh I've had in months!!! Love it!!

I don't know much about plastic surgery, but I have to say those Lifestyle Lift commercials on TV look pretty convincing!

Dear Feeling hopeful,
I can relate! At first I thought it was just head hunger...but in having to prepare meals for my family and shop for groceries etc. it seems that I am having a difficult time (still) determining whether I have head hunger or if I am actually hungry. I know I don't feel "full" because I am able to sip liquids pretty much all day and all the way until bedtime. Of course with all of this liquid going through me I am in the bathroom constantly, which is not that big a deal for me because I've always had a tendency to drink a lot of fluids...but as I said - preparing food that I can't eat is a little challenging. Last night I made a bag of rigatoni & sausage in marinara sauce with garlic toast for my husband & daughter. Cooking it and smelling it was tough especially since, according to my paperwork, things like Pasta, bread and sausage are pretty much "off the menu" for me for the rest of my life unless I want to be in pain or feel sick. And really I am okay with that, but I've been on liquids for nearly a whole month now and going through that grocery store...seeing a lot of my old favorites - not an easy task. I also think that the pain medication lowers my defenses and makes me crave sweets. I know this is so because in the past I've had spine injuries and was in pain management. I can remember times when I would wake up in the middle of the night just craving chocolate or candy. I can't wait until the pain subsides and I can get off of this stuff so those feelings will go away. I am excited this week that I'll be able to drink the Protein shakes again. I'll just have to be sure that I go really, really slow and definitely not make more than I can take in.

Unfortunately I am guessing this will be the case with me. A few years ago I was on a doctor supervised weight loss plan. I lost 76 lbs. While my husband "said" he was supportive, it wasn't long before he became critical of my body...saying I was "too skinny", my rear end was flat and that my breasts looked like pancakes. I didn't let it bother me because I felt great and was receiving compliments from everyone else.
A few months ago, when I brought up the option of WLS (having gained all the weight back + interest) his exact words were "I'll do whatever I can to help you". For the most part, he has. He did pay for my surgery and handle everything with my daughter while I was in the hospital so I can't say that he hasn't been supportive at all, but he didn't stay with me at the hospital, he just dropped me off and picked me up. The day I was to be released he became irritated that my discharge was taking so long. He started complaining about how *he* was hungry. I went down to the nurses station and explained that he was pressuring me and fortunately they were understanding and put my chart on top so I could get out sooner.
Since we've been home he has ordered Chinese food, pizza, and even asked me to prepare meals for him. This really irks me. It's not that I want the food, it just seems very inconsiderate. And then to mow the food down right in front of me.
Last night I went into our spare room to workout. I wasn't in there five minutes before he came in asking me where something was. I saw red because in my mind I saw this as a deliberate sabotage attempt. I've decided to install a lock on the door so I won't be bothered.
I probably shouldn't be sharing this, but he is 12 years my senior. He claims that as he has aged his testosterone levels have plummeted making him less interested in intimacy than ever before. This has been going on for a few years. He says it has nothing to do with me, or how I look or anything like that and that he loves me more now than ever, just that his desire is not there at all. I've asked him to seek medical help, which he has but he's got complaints about all of that too. He doesn't like the way the testosterone cream makes him feel, the Viagra speeds up his heart too much...and so on. There's always an excuse.
I'm not blind and I'm not dead...I still have needs that aren't being met and I know from past experience that this is a slippery slope for marriages. It's unfortunate and I don't plan on leaving but I am very concerned that as the weight comes off attention from other men will become a problem. I'm more of an extrovert and will talk to anyone about anything - it's just who I am. I've decided that the only way to weather this storm is to try to be as reassuring and supportive towards him as I can be, and just try my best to respect his feelings without compromising who I am as a person. As far as the sabotage attempts I'm just going to chalk those up to his general lack of consideration and try not to take everything so personally. It is what it is. He has agreed to explore these issues in therapy, so that's good.

"but there's no other woman on God's green earth who's ever been as special to me as she has always been, so no matter what size I am or ever will be, that's not going to happen!!! Definitely we're in it to win it!!!
That is just beautiful! She sounds like an amazing lady! Best wishes to you on your upcoming surgery!!

I don't know how much this will help, but I can tell you that my surgery was exactly 10 days ago and I feel great! I got off of the pain meds last weekend knowing that I would be back to work this week and although I still have a slight dull ache in my left side, Tylenol does just fine for me. I am truly amazed at how this process has changed my entire outlook on life. In the short span of 10 days I have HOPE in my life again! My entire outlook has changed and nothing seems impossible like it did just a handful of months ago. I'm the girl who hates exercise, and I am exercising! Me! I know I'm on a pink cloud right now, and there are up's and down's I have yet to encounter...but today I know I can cope with those issues without using food to numb my feelings and eat my way into a dark cesspool of negativity and remorse. It is such a relief!
Try focusing on gathering the things you'll need for the hospital and getting packed. Make a list of everything you need to do before you go into surgery and go about the business of getting each one done. Make sure you have the items you'll need when you get home in stock. Get the house cleaned up, make up some sheets on the computer to track your liquids, medications and Vitamin intake (unless already provided by your doctor), clear off your nightstand so you'll have room for your spirometer, your liquids and your pain meds and tie up any loose ends with your family, kids or job. Make a plan as to how you will get your 30 minutes of walking in post-op (i.e. do you have a treadmill? will you walk around the house or go outside etc.?)
Then simply sit back, close your eyes and visualize yourself going through the surgery and waking up in your recovery room with no complications. Know that you'll be uncomfortable, but only for a very short time. The nurses will be there to administer medication when you hurt, and once they do get out of bed, grab your IV pole, put on your slippers and walk the halls as soon as you can and as often as you can. Imagine yourself a week out feeling great and ready to begin your new life. Visualization techniques can be very powerful tools.
You GOT this!!!

Love this.

I don't know how much this will help, but I can tell you that my surgery was exactly 10 days ago and I feel great! I got off of the pain meds last weekend knowing that I would be back to work this week and although I still have a slight dull ache in my left side, Tylenol does just fine for me. I am truly amazed at how this process has changed my entire outlook on life. In the short span of 10 days I have HOPE in my life again! My entire outlook has changed and nothing seems impossible like it did just a handful of months ago. I'm the girl who hates exercise, and I am exercising! Me! I know I'm on a pink cloud right now, and there are up's and down's I have yet to encounter...but today I know I can cope with those issues without using food to numb my feelings and eat my way into a dark cesspool of negativity and remorse. It is such a relief!
Try focusing on gathering the things you'll need for the hospital and getting packed. Make a list of everything you need to do before you go into surgery and go about the business of getting each one done. Make sure you have the items you'll need when you get home in stock. Get the house cleaned up, make up some sheets on the computer to track your liquids, medications and Vitamin intake (unless already provided by your doctor), clear off your nightstand so you'll have room for your spirometer, your liquids and your pain meds and tie up any loose ends with your family, kids or job. Make a plan as to how you will get your 30 minutes of walking in post-op (i.e. do you have a treadmill? will you walk around the house or go outside etc.?)
Then simply sit back, close your eyes and visualize yourself going through the surgery and waking up in your recovery room with no complications. Know that you'll be uncomfortable, but only for a very short time. The nurses will be there to administer medication when you hurt, and once they do get out of bed, grab your IV pole, put on your slippers and walk the halls as soon as you can and as often as you can. Imagine yourself a week out feeling great and ready to begin your new life. Visualization techniques can be very powerful tools.
You GOT this!!!

I don't know how much this will help, but I can tell you that my surgery was exactly 10 days ago and I feel great! I got off of the pain meds last weekend knowing that I would be back to work this week and although I still have a slight dull ache in my left side, Tylenol does just fine for me. I am truly amazed at how this process has changed my entire outlook on life. In the short span of 10 days I have HOPE in my life again! My entire outlook has changed and nothing seems impossible like it did just a handful of months ago. I'm the girl who hates exercise, and I am exercising! Me! I know I'm on a pink cloud right now, and there are up's and down's I have yet to encounter...but today I know I can cope with those issues without using food to numb my feelings and eat my way into a dark cesspool of negativity and remorse. It is such a relief!
Try focusing on gathering the things you'll need for the hospital and getting packed. Make a list of everything you need to do before you go into surgery and go about the business of getting each one done. Make sure you have the items you'll need when you get home in stock. Get the house cleaned up, make up some sheets on the computer to track your liquids, medications and Vitamin intake (unless already provided by your doctor), clear off your nightstand so you'll have room for your spirometer, your liquids and your pain meds and tie up any loose ends with your family, kids or job. Make a plan as to how you will get your 30 minutes of walking in post-op (i.e. do you have a treadmill? will you walk around the house or go outside etc.?)
Then simply sit back, close your eyes and visualize yourself going through the surgery and waking up in your recovery room with no complications. Know that you'll be uncomfortable, but only for a very short time. The nurses will be there to administer medication when you hurt, and once they do get out of bed, grab your IV pole, put on your slippers and walk the halls as soon as you can and as often as you can. Imagine yourself a week out feeling great and ready to begin your new life. Visualization techniques can be very powerful tools.
You GOT this!!!

Every time your mind wants to take you down a dark path, think of the things you will be able to do after you have this surgery. Focus on the reasons why you chose to have the surgery and what you want to do when you have reached your goal. You can do it! Good luck to you!!!

brybro, you are a keeper i think!

I too what if'd for years, probably put off having this surgery 20 years of more, then I got Kidney Cancer, lost my left Kidney, and now I have Gout on top of High Blood Pressure... Things were starting to pile up, got the surgery done last June, I've lost over 120 lbs (much higher starting weight than you, but hey) and I'm walking everywhere. I feel soo much better, I'm in a good mood almost all of the time (too good of a mood sometimes). Still not doing cafine, but most of my coworkers think I'm drinking double shots of esspresso. Life is fun again, and eating is not a war zone between my head and my gut anymore.
After surgery you will still be on a diet, of sorts. And some foods you used to like, well you will have to see if you still like them, it is all kinda weird for awhile. I ate steak for the first time in seven months this last week. Still seems odd that I can only eat a small portion of a steak when I used to be able to gobble down two or more... You seem to really know yourself, I wasn't happy with myself, my health wasn't happy with me, I had to get the surgery. As you yourself know, you have to answer these questions and make these decissions...we are just here to support you whatever you decide.

Unfortunately I am guessing this will be the case with me. A few years ago I was on a doctor supervised weight loss plan. I lost 76 lbs. While my husband "said" he was supportive, it wasn't long before he became critical of my body...saying I was "too skinny", my rear end was flat and that my breasts looked like pancakes. I didn't let it bother me because I felt great and was receiving compliments from everyone else.
A few months ago, when I brought up the option of WLS (having gained all the weight back + interest) his exact words were "I'll do whatever I can to help you". For the most part, he has. He did pay for my surgery and handle everything with my daughter while I was in the hospital so I can't say that he hasn't been supportive at all, but he didn't stay with me at the hospital, he just dropped me off and picked me up. The day I was to be released he became irritated that my discharge was taking so long. He started complaining about how *he* was hungry. I went down to the nurses station and explained that he was pressuring me and fortunately they were understanding and put my chart on top so I could get out sooner.
Since we've been home he has ordered Chinese food, pizza, and even asked me to prepare meals for him. This really irks me. It's not that I want the food, it just seems very inconsiderate. And then to mow the food down right in front of me.
Last night I went into our spare room to workout. I wasn't in there five minutes before he came in asking me where something was. I saw red because in my mind I saw this as a deliberate sabotage attempt. I've decided to install a lock on the door so I won't be bothered.
I probably shouldn't be sharing this, but he is 12 years my senior. He claims that as he has aged his testosterone levels have plummeted making him less interested in intimacy than ever before. This has been going on for a few years. He says it has nothing to do with me, or how I look or anything like that and that he loves me more now than ever, just that his desire is not there at all. I've asked him to seek medical help, which he has but he's got complaints about all of that too. He doesn't like the way the testosterone cream makes him feel, the Viagra speeds up his heart too much...and so on. There's always an excuse.
I'm not blind and I'm not dead...I still have needs that aren't being met and I know from past experience that this is a slippery slope for marriages. It's unfortunate and I don't plan on leaving but I am very concerned that as the weight comes off attention from other men will become a problem. I'm more of an extrovert and will talk to anyone about anything - it's just who I am. I've decided that the only way to weather this storm is to try to be as reassuring and supportive towards him as I can be, and just try my best to respect his feelings without compromising who I am as a person. As far as the sabotage attempts I'm just going to chalk those up to his general lack of consideration and try not to take everything so personally. It is what it is. He has agreed to explore these issues in therapy, so that's good.

No offense taken...but yes, I guess for right now I'm not ready to make any drastic changes. We have a daughter together so its not just a matter of my own happiness. I have to think of her too. I don't want to be the one who extracts her father from her life for my own selfish reasons. I've put a lot of thought into this, read tons of books...and the bottom line is that when I add up the positives versus the negatives there are a lot more on the positives side than negative. So for now, this is just how it has to be. My husband *is* open to counseling, so before I make any definite decisions I will first exhaust every option. I wouldn't say its necessarily an "unhappy" marriage...I would lean more towards a "sexless" marriage and we all know there's a lot more to a marriage than sex. It only becomes an issue when there is less or none at all. But I am a traditional-type person. If or when it becomes something we both want out of, then fine. But for now, with Gods help, I will continue to fight the good fight and hang in there. This surgery qualifies as a major lifestyle change (in my book), kind of like a job change or a move...so its best if I just stay put until I've got more time under my belt with this new change. Its only been exactly one week today since my surgery. Who knows, maybe as a result of my changes he'll make some of his own and things will change. Maybe not, but anything is possible. Maybe I'm an idiot, but I prefer to think of myself as an incurable optimist.

Unfortunately I am guessing this will be the case with me. A few years ago I was on a doctor supervised weight loss plan. I lost 76 lbs. While my husband "said" he was supportive, it wasn't long before he became critical of my body...saying I was "too skinny", my rear end was flat and that my breasts looked like pancakes. I didn't let it bother me because I felt great and was receiving compliments from everyone else.
A few months ago, when I brought up the option of WLS (having gained all the weight back + interest) his exact words were "I'll do whatever I can to help you". For the most part, he has. He did pay for my surgery and handle everything with my daughter while I was in the hospital so I can't say that he hasn't been supportive at all, but he didn't stay with me at the hospital, he just dropped me off and picked me up. The day I was to be released he became irritated that my discharge was taking so long. He started complaining about how *he* was hungry. I went down to the nurses station and explained that he was pressuring me and fortunately they were understanding and put my chart on top so I could get out sooner.
Since we've been home he has ordered Chinese food, pizza, and even asked me to prepare meals for him. This really irks me. It's not that I want the food, it just seems very inconsiderate. And then to mow the food down right in front of me.
Last night I went into our spare room to workout. I wasn't in there five minutes before he came in asking me where something was. I saw red because in my mind I saw this as a deliberate sabotage attempt. I've decided to install a lock on the door so I won't be bothered.
I probably shouldn't be sharing this, but he is 12 years my senior. He claims that as he has aged his testosterone levels have plummeted making him less interested in intimacy than ever before. This has been going on for a few years. He says it has nothing to do with me, or how I look or anything like that and that he loves me more now than ever, just that his desire is not there at all. I've asked him to seek medical help, which he has but he's got complaints about all of that too. He doesn't like the way the testosterone cream makes him feel, the Viagra speeds up his heart too much...and so on. There's always an excuse.
I'm not blind and I'm not dead...I still have needs that aren't being met and I know from past experience that this is a slippery slope for marriages. It's unfortunate and I don't plan on leaving but I am very concerned that as the weight comes off attention from other men will become a problem. I'm more of an extrovert and will talk to anyone about anything - it's just who I am. I've decided that the only way to weather this storm is to try to be as reassuring and supportive towards him as I can be, and just try my best to respect his feelings without compromising who I am as a person. As far as the sabotage attempts I'm just going to chalk those up to his general lack of consideration and try not to take everything so personally. It is what it is. He has agreed to explore these issues in therapy, so that's good.

Unfortunately I am guessing this will be the case with me. A few years ago I was on a doctor supervised weight loss plan. I lost 76 lbs. While my husband "said" he was supportive, it wasn't long before he became critical of my body...saying I was "too skinny", my rear end was flat and that my breasts looked like pancakes. I didn't let it bother me because I felt great and was receiving compliments from everyone else.
A few months ago, when I brought up the option of WLS (having gained all the weight back + interest) his exact words were "I'll do whatever I can to help you". For the most part, he has. He did pay for my surgery and handle everything with my daughter while I was in the hospital so I can't say that he hasn't been supportive at all, but he didn't stay with me at the hospital, he just dropped me off and picked me up. The day I was to be released he became irritated that my discharge was taking so long. He started complaining about how *he* was hungry. I went down to the nurses station and explained that he was pressuring me and fortunately they were understanding and put my chart on top so I could get out sooner.
Since we've been home he has ordered Chinese food, pizza, and even asked me to prepare meals for him. This really irks me. It's not that I want the food, it just seems very inconsiderate. And then to mow the food down right in front of me.
Last night I went into our spare room to workout. I wasn't in there five minutes before he came in asking me where something was. I saw red because in my mind I saw this as a deliberate sabotage attempt. I've decided to install a lock on the door so I won't be bothered.
I probably shouldn't be sharing this, but he is 12 years my senior. He claims that as he has aged his testosterone levels have plummeted making him less interested in intimacy than ever before. This has been going on for a few years. He says it has nothing to do with me, or how I look or anything like that and that he loves me more now than ever, just that his desire is not there at all. I've asked him to seek medical help, which he has but he's got complaints about all of that too. He doesn't like the way the testosterone cream makes him feel, the Viagra speeds up his heart too much...and so on. There's always an excuse.
I'm not blind and I'm not dead...I still have needs that aren't being met and I know from past experience that this is a slippery slope for marriages. It's unfortunate and I don't plan on leaving but I am very concerned that as the weight comes off attention from other men will become a problem. I'm more of an extrovert and will talk to anyone about anything - it's just who I am. I've decided that the only way to weather this storm is to try to be as reassuring and supportive towards him as I can be, and just try my best to respect his feelings without compromising who I am as a person. As far as the sabotage attempts I'm just going to chalk those up to his general lack of consideration and try not to take everything so personally. It is what it is. He has agreed to explore these issues in therapy, so that's good.

Unfortunately I am guessing this will be the case with me. A few years ago I was on a doctor supervised weight loss plan. I lost 76 lbs. While my husband "said" he was supportive, it wasn't long before he became critical of my body...saying I was "too skinny", my rear end was flat and that my breasts looked like pancakes. I didn't let it bother me because I felt great and was receiving compliments from everyone else.
A few months ago, when I brought up the option of WLS (having gained all the weight back + interest) his exact words were "I'll do whatever I can to help you". For the most part, he has. He did pay for my surgery and handle everything with my daughter while I was in the hospital so I can't say that he hasn't been supportive at all, but he didn't stay with me at the hospital, he just dropped me off and picked me up. The day I was to be released he became irritated that my discharge was taking so long. He started complaining about how *he* was hungry. I went down to the nurses station and explained that he was pressuring me and fortunately they were understanding and put my chart on top so I could get out sooner.
Since we've been home he has ordered Chinese food, pizza, and even asked me to prepare meals for him. This really irks me. It's not that I want the food, it just seems very inconsiderate. And then to mow the food down right in front of me.
Last night I went into our spare room to workout. I wasn't in there five minutes before he came in asking me where something was. I saw red because in my mind I saw this as a deliberate sabotage attempt. I've decided to install a lock on the door so I won't be bothered.
I probably shouldn't be sharing this, but he is 12 years my senior. He claims that as he has aged his testosterone levels have plummeted making him less interested in intimacy than ever before. This has been going on for a few years. He says it has nothing to do with me, or how I look or anything like that and that he loves me more now than ever, just that his desire is not there at all. I've asked him to seek medical help, which he has but he's got complaints about all of that too. He doesn't like the way the testosterone cream makes him feel, the Viagra speeds up his heart too much...and so on. There's always an excuse.
I'm not blind and I'm not dead...I still have needs that aren't being met and I know from past experience that this is a slippery slope for marriages. It's unfortunate and I don't plan on leaving but I am very concerned that as the weight comes off attention from other men will become a problem. I'm more of an extrovert and will talk to anyone about anything - it's just who I am. I've decided that the only way to weather this storm is to try to be as reassuring and supportive towards him as I can be, and just try my best to respect his feelings without compromising who I am as a person. As far as the sabotage attempts I'm just going to chalk those up to his general lack of consideration and try not to take everything so personally. It is what it is. He has agreed to explore these issues in therapy, so that's good.

Unfortunately I am guessing this will be the case with me. A few years ago I was on a doctor supervised weight loss plan. I lost 76 lbs. While my husband "said" he was supportive, it wasn't long before he became critical of my body...saying I was "too skinny", my rear end was flat and that my breasts looked like pancakes. I didn't let it bother me because I felt great and was receiving compliments from everyone else.
A few months ago, when I brought up the option of WLS (having gained all the weight back + interest) his exact words were "I'll do whatever I can to help you". For the most part, he has. He did pay for my surgery and handle everything with my daughter while I was in the hospital so I can't say that he hasn't been supportive at all, but he didn't stay with me at the hospital, he just dropped me off and picked me up. The day I was to be released he became irritated that my discharge was taking so long. He started complaining about how *he* was hungry. I went down to the nurses station and explained that he was pressuring me and fortunately they were understanding and put my chart on top so I could get out sooner.
Since we've been home he has ordered Chinese food, pizza, and even asked me to prepare meals for him. This really irks me. It's not that I want the food, it just seems very inconsiderate. And then to mow the food down right in front of me.
Last night I went into our spare room to workout. I wasn't in there five minutes before he came in asking me where something was. I saw red because in my mind I saw this as a deliberate sabotage attempt. I've decided to install a lock on the door so I won't be bothered.
I probably shouldn't be sharing this, but he is 12 years my senior. He claims that as he has aged his testosterone levels have plummeted making him less interested in intimacy than ever before. This has been going on for a few years. He says it has nothing to do with me, or how I look or anything like that and that he loves me more now than ever, just that his desire is not there at all. I've asked him to seek medical help, which he has but he's got complaints about all of that too. He doesn't like the way the testosterone cream makes him feel, the Viagra speeds up his heart too much...and so on. There's always an excuse.
I'm not blind and I'm not dead...I still have needs that aren't being met and I know from past experience that this is a slippery slope for marriages. It's unfortunate and I don't plan on leaving but I am very concerned that as the weight comes off attention from other men will become a problem. I'm more of an extrovert and will talk to anyone about anything - it's just who I am. I've decided that the only way to weather this storm is to try to be as reassuring and supportive towards him as I can be, and just try my best to respect his feelings without compromising who I am as a person. As far as the sabotage attempts I'm just going to chalk those up to his general lack of consideration and try not to take everything so personally. It is what it is. He has agreed to explore these issues in therapy, so that's good.

Unfortunately I am guessing this will be the case with me. A few years ago I was on a doctor supervised weight loss plan. I lost 76 lbs. While my husband "said" he was supportive, it wasn't long before he became critical of my body...saying I was "too skinny", my rear end was flat and that my breasts looked like pancakes. I didn't let it bother me because I felt great and was receiving compliments from everyone else.
A few months ago, when I brought up the option of WLS (having gained all the weight back + interest) his exact words were "I'll do whatever I can to help you". For the most part, he has. He did pay for my surgery and handle everything with my daughter while I was in the hospital so I can't say that he hasn't been supportive at all, but he didn't stay with me at the hospital, he just dropped me off and picked me up. The day I was to be released he became irritated that my discharge was taking so long. He started complaining about how *he* was hungry. I went down to the nurses station and explained that he was pressuring me and fortunately they were understanding and put my chart on top so I could get out sooner.
Since we've been home he has ordered Chinese food, pizza, and even asked me to prepare meals for him. This really irks me. It's not that I want the food, it just seems very inconsiderate. And then to mow the food down right in front of me.
Last night I went into our spare room to workout. I wasn't in there five minutes before he came in asking me where something was. I saw red because in my mind I saw this as a deliberate sabotage attempt. I've decided to install a lock on the door so I won't be bothered.
I probably shouldn't be sharing this, but he is 12 years my senior. He claims that as he has aged his testosterone levels have plummeted making him less interested in intimacy than ever before. This has been going on for a few years. He says it has nothing to do with me, or how I look or anything like that and that he loves me more now than ever, just that his desire is not there at all. I've asked him to seek medical help, which he has but he's got complaints about all of that too. He doesn't like the way the testosterone cream makes him feel, the Viagra speeds up his heart too much...and so on. There's always an excuse.
I'm not blind and I'm not dead...I still have needs that aren't being met and I know from past experience that this is a slippery slope for marriages. It's unfortunate and I don't plan on leaving but I am very concerned that as the weight comes off attention from other men will become a problem. I'm more of an extrovert and will talk to anyone about anything - it's just who I am. I've decided that the only way to weather this storm is to try to be as reassuring and supportive towards him as I can be, and just try my best to respect his feelings without compromising who I am as a person. As far as the sabotage attempts I'm just going to chalk those up to his general lack of consideration and try not to take everything so personally. It is what it is. He has agreed to explore these issues in therapy, so that's good.

Unfortunately I am guessing this will be the case with me. A few years ago I was on a doctor supervised weight loss plan. I lost 76 lbs. While my husband "said" he was supportive, it wasn't long before he became critical of my body...saying I was "too skinny", my rear end was flat and that my breasts looked like pancakes. I didn't let it bother me because I felt great and was receiving compliments from everyone else.
A few months ago, when I brought up the option of WLS (having gained all the weight back + interest) his exact words were "I'll do whatever I can to help you". For the most part, he has. He did pay for my surgery and handle everything with my daughter while I was in the hospital so I can't say that he hasn't been supportive at all, but he didn't stay with me at the hospital, he just dropped me off and picked me up. The day I was to be released he became irritated that my discharge was taking so long. He started complaining about how *he* was hungry. I went down to the nurses station and explained that he was pressuring me and fortunately they were understanding and put my chart on top so I could get out sooner.
Since we've been home he has ordered Chinese food, pizza, and even asked me to prepare meals for him. This really irks me. It's not that I want the food, it just seems very inconsiderate. And then to mow the food down right in front of me.
Last night I went into our spare room to workout. I wasn't in there five minutes before he came in asking me where something was. I saw red because in my mind I saw this as a deliberate sabotage attempt. I've decided to install a lock on the door so I won't be bothered.
I probably shouldn't be sharing this, but he is 12 years my senior. He claims that as he has aged his testosterone levels have plummeted making him less interested in intimacy than ever before. This has been going on for a few years. He says it has nothing to do with me, or how I look or anything like that and that he loves me more now than ever, just that his desire is not there at all. I've asked him to seek medical help, which he has but he's got complaints about all of that too. He doesn't like the way the testosterone cream makes him feel, the Viagra speeds up his heart too much...and so on. There's always an excuse.
I'm not blind and I'm not dead...I still have needs that aren't being met and I know from past experience that this is a slippery slope for marriages. It's unfortunate and I don't plan on leaving but I am very concerned that as the weight comes off attention from other men will become a problem. I'm more of an extrovert and will talk to anyone about anything - it's just who I am. I've decided that the only way to weather this storm is to try to be as reassuring and supportive towards him as I can be, and just try my best to respect his feelings without compromising who I am as a person. As far as the sabotage attempts I'm just going to chalk those up to his general lack of consideration and try not to take everything so personally. It is what it is. He has agreed to explore these issues in therapy, so that's good.

I indulge in the occasional potato chip, french fry and candy. I had a spoonful of ice cream tonight with caramel Syrup. And the bad stuff goes down TOO easy. I don't want to feel like I can't have these things again, but feel bad when I eat them. Like the other night, my daughter wanted some fruit Loops. I had a couple and that turned into a handful and if I didn't put the box away, it would've been more. When I fall off, I tell myself that tomorrow is a new day and I'm doing the very best I can. And you're right, we eat it because it 'was there.' Harsh reality is, I'm still eating out of emotion or boredom, but I'm trying really hard to control that. Thanks for having a post like this, I was DYING to confess to someone that understands!

I drink Coke Zero. Through a straw.

I dealt with this too. You're not alone and remember...everyone's body is different. Its easy to go through these threads and look at others' stats and make comparisons, but that's just not being fair to yourself. Plus, your surgery was very recent...give yourself some time to heal and follow doctor's instructions to a T. Measure and journal everything you're eating/drinking so if for some reason you don't see results sooner than later you'll have a record to show to your doctor. I struggle with patience myself. I had hoped to lose more on the pre-op liquid diet than I did, but I just didn't. I just had to get to acceptance and move on - no other choice. You'll get there.

Wow! You look awesome and are an inspiration! Thank you for sharing!!!