secretstolen

I'm in Northern Virginia.

That's a good one! :tongue_smilie:

My skinny goals include.. The first time I can complain about having to buy a size 10 and a friend replies with a response like, "Oh shut up!" Doing pin-up style pictures with a photographer friend of mine who takes gorgeous portraits. Rocking this really cute Victoria's Secret Pink t-shirt that I bought last summer. It didn't fit until about a month ago and now I'm working on losing some more so I can look great in it. Fitting into a pair of patchwork-detailed Levis that I want to wear this fall. Running up 10 flights of stairs without being out of breath. (I'm working on this one and getting there!) And maybe, someday, possibly - as I'm still debating this one - another tattoo along the side of my torso. Like I said, I'm still debating it. :tongue_smilie:

Yesterday morning, my mom (who doesn't see me often) exclaimed about my cheekbones. She kept saying that I look so much thinner in my face, so I put some pictures together just to track it. It'll be 2 months post-op (to the day) on February 14th, so I guess it's about time for this. I am still a work in progress! Nowhere near my goal weight, but I'm working on it!

I met a guy the week before my lap-band surgery. He's a close friend of someone I was casual friends with in high school. He's a year older than me and he's a total gentleman. When I met him, I figured I had nothing to lose and I wasn't looking for a relationship so I told him I thought he was cute. We exchanged numbers and a week after my surgery, we went on our first date. Since then, we've gone out 4 times and we talk on a regular basis. On our first date, we talked briefly about our last relationships. He was dating a girl for 5 years and they were living together when he discovered she was cheating on him. The break-up happened last spring. I had just broken up in November with a guy that I was with for a year who moved in with another woman and got her pregnant during the duration of our relationship. Finding out all that is what initiated the break-up. Both of us agreed that we weren't looking for new relationships, but because we had such a great time together he suggested that we take things very slow and get to know each other as friends first and let a relationship just naturally happen. I thought it sounded like a great idea. On our third date, we were walking through a residential area of downtown, looking all the pretty historical houses, when he said to me, "I really enjoy spending time with you." I blushed. Then he said, "I know we agreed to take things slow. I just feel like I've messed things up in past relationships by rushing and not being friends first, and I want to do things right this time. I think you deserve that." That pretty much sealed the deal for me: I'm totally crazy about him. Still, we agreed to just stay friends and let things happen on their own. So, we happen to go to the same gym. I had been considering joining this branch of Gold's Gym when we first started dating because my mom was raving about how much she loved it and how she had signed up for a membership. One conversation he and I had was about working out and I admitted that I didn't want to join that particular gym in case he felt uncomfortable running into me there. He assured me that he wouldn't feel that way at all. "I think it would be cool! You could come say hi if you saw me!" After he asked me a week later if I was going to join, I decided to go ahead and take the plunge. On Friday, I got there after work and noticed my crush on a treadmill next to my step-father and my mother. What a coincidence, huh? I hadn't introduced them and I hadn't planned on doing that for a while, figuring that if we ever did end up in a relationship it would be more appropriate then. I worked out on an elliptical for a little while and when I finished, my mom was the only one left on the treadmills. We talked for a moment and she asked me, "Have you seen that guy friend of yours?" and I replied, "Yeah. He was on the treadmill next to [my step-father]." My mom asked if I had talked to him yet and I said, "Nah, not yet. I figure I'll catch up with him later. I don't want to interrupt him." I figured I had kept things vague enough. I hadn't pointed him out or anything. Later Friday evening, I got a call from my crush. He was laughing but he called to tell me that he met my mom and my step-father. Apparently while I was in another area of the gym, out of sight, he was back on a treadmill finishing up his work-out when my step-father approached him to ask, "Are you the guy dating [secretstolen]?" and when my crush replied that yeah, that was him, my step-father told him, "I think you need to turn the treadmill off so we can have a little talk." How humiliating. How embarassing. I was so sorry and while he laughed and told it like a funny story, I kept telling him how sorry I was for the fact that they had done that. He said, "Don't worry about it! It's fine. It's kinda funny, really." Still, I was incredibly embarassed. I called my mom Friday night and asked her what she thought she was doing, letting my step-father approach him like that. My mom believes that she was just being friendly and no harm was done. I tried to explain to her, "He and I are not formally dating. We are not boyfriend and girlfriend. It's just a friendship thing right now. When it was appropriate, I planned on introducing you guys. Don't you think I should have at least been there to mediate the situation? Do you realize how uncomfortable that might have been? He's laughing about it and reassuring me that everything's cool, but I'm angry that you did that because it's pretty disrespectful to me as a grown woman." She said I was being irrational and she hung up on me. *Sigh* I tried to figure that things were cool. My crush and I talked Friday night before we both went to bed and it was a cool, fun conversation. No worries there. I thanked him for being so understanding of everything at the gym and he assured me, "Hun, it's no problem. Really." I went to bed feeling okay with what happened. Then, today, my mom and my step-father are at it again. This time, they get to the gym and they spot my crush on a piece of cardio equipment. They're walking by and they wave to him and he doesn't return the wave or say hello. My mom called to tell me about it, insisting that my crush is rude and that he dissed them. I tried to rationalize with her that most likely, he was just not aware that they were there. Hell, I passed him on the treadmill the day before and although we've been out on 4 dates, he didn't outright notice or recognize me. I told her I was sure it was nothing personal. Still, the whole point of the call was for her to tell me that my step-father thinks he's rude. I called my crush today and was like, "I really feel bad about my mom and my step-father. They're idiots, really. If they make you uncomfortable or anything, please let me know. You're a nice guy and I don't think you'd be the type to come out and say so, but I hope that you'll let me know if they do." I explained what my mom had said and he interrupted me to say, "Honestly, I didn't even see them. I was watching a movie on my iPod and I wasn't paying attention to much else. Please tell them that if I offended them or insulted them, I certainly didn't mean it and I'm sorry." I felt bad then because I didn't want him to apologize. I really wanted to go bash pinatas in the likenesses of my mother and my step-father for being nosy in my life, but make him feel bad? No, never. I explained that and he said, "Here's what we'll do: I'll be polite and friendly with them, and that's no problem. If they ever do offend me or cross a line with me, I will come and talk to you about it. That sound like a plan?" and I agreed it was cool. He assured me that he wasn't weirded out by them and that I shouldn't be sorry about it. So, I've gotten about 4 different opinions from friends. Both of my girl friends say that the fact that we've since then talked on the phone and sent text messages back and forth - with him initiating - is a good thing. "If he was uncomfortable, he wouldn't be calling you." Both of my guy friends say that guys deal with that on a regular basis. Guys are used to a girl's parents confronting them or intimidating them and it's expected to some degree. They also said, "If he likes you enough, your mom and step-father aren't going to stop him from liking you." (Oh and I've already decided I'm going to pretend it never even happened and not mention it ever again. I've apologized, we've agreed that we'll talk about it if it becomes a problem for him, and that's that.) I'm sure that everything's cool, really. I'm just still mad with my mom and my step-father for doing that. I called my mom tonight and explained what he told me about how he hadn't even seen them. She was flippant with me on the phone and the conversation was short. I don't want to offend her and make her think that I don't want her in my life, but at the same time, I'm 23 years old and I haven't lived at home for 2 years. I'm not even formally dating this guy. Neither of us had talked about introducing our parents into this and I felt that it was way too soon to have him meet mine, anyway. I mean, we just met each other's friends this past week. I just don't know what to say to my mom or my step-father to have them understand that although my crush isn't mad about it, I am. They should have been more respectful of my private life to not intrude on it like they did. My mom, especially, should have known better than to say anything to my step-father since I've asked her repeatedly not to talk about my dating life with him. I told her tonight on the phone, "I have to censor everything I tell you now. I can't confide in you like I should be able to because I don't know what will come from it." She wasn't really hearing any of it. Instead, she rushed me off the phone and was like, "Okay, okay, bye! I've gotta go! Bye!" Argh. I don't know whether I'm over-reacting to this.

Hey everyone! Sorry I hadn't been around the last couple of days.. Just wanted to thank each and every one of you for your thoughts and feedback. It was nice to be able to vent about it and get other perspectives. I'm pleased to say that the reason why I haven't been around much is because I've been meeting up with (I'll refer to him as) "Lloyd Dobler" at the gym after work (and how fun is it to be on a treadmill next to him and watch him try to impress me? ). Yesterday evening as we finished working out he asked me to have dinner with him, which I did graciously. Today at work he asked me if I was interested in spending Saturday with him in Northern Virginia where we'll grab dinner, see a movie, and do some other stuff. Before leaving work he also asked me if I wanted to have coffee with him tonight. All of which I've been more than willing to do. And, because some of you wanted updates.. I met him at Starbucks this evening to get coffee and we were just sitting and talking when two of his friends walked in. They're both young women, roommates and very good friends, and they all know each other from college. One of them I have met twice before and she's hilarious. We all were talking and joking around when she said loudly to Lloyd, talking about me, "This girl is awesome! I love her! She is great and you'd better not mess this up!" It was just a really cute moment. His friends like me! Yay! A little while later, the same girl pal asked me what I was doing tomorrow. Apparently they were all going to get together just as a big group of friends to go see Cloverfield (which I've already seen), but she asked me if I wanted to come and I told her sure, as long as Lloyd was ok with me hanging out with all of his friends, which he says he is. We left a little bit after that. He walked me to my car and gave me a big hug like he always does. He was on his way to a friend's house to hang out for a couple hours so I told him, "It's getting late, you'd better go. I hope you have fun tonight. Tell [friend's name] I said hello." He smiled and then leaned in and kissed me. Then I got giggling and he was like, "Is it ok that I did that?" and I was like, "Of course!" and then he kissed me a couple more times! A few minutes later, I told him he had to go.. he couldn't keep his friend waiting.. and we left. He sent me a text message when he got to his friend's house and he says he's going to call me in the morning. Yeah. I'm kinda still blushing. Wow! Sixth date and he finally kissed me! Yay! So, everyone, thank you thank you thank you from the bottom of my spastic, nervous, worried little heart! :eek:

I debated joining a gym, too, but in the end I chose to do so because it's a huge motivator for me. Knowing that I'm paying for it every month with a contract keeps me going. I also chose to join a gym where family/friends go, which can be a blessing or a curse depending on your personality. Another thing that convinced me to join was the fact that the gym I go to has a lot of amenities that I will be able to enjoy later. Maybe right now I'm just doing cardio and weights, but I know I want to take a kick-boxing class and a spinning class as the weight's shedding off. Plus the gym I go to has a women only room where you can use cardio/weight equipment in private, which is usually empty or only occupied by one other person. It's nice to have the option of going in there if you're having a day where you feel self-conscious or just blah.

I go to a local Gold's Gym and we have one of those, too! I haven't used it yet but it was impressive. All I could think was, "Oh man, if I'm having a bad day and I feel like crap, how perfect would it be to work out in the dark?" Heehee!

Dude, I crush hard on Adam Sandler! He's so goofy and stupid sometimes, but I dig it. Billy Madison is a classic. I can't wait for You Don't Mess With the Zohan. It looks hilarious. And yeah, that little shake Billy does on the staircase in that goofy golf sweater all cut up.. total hotness. *LOL*

Yeah, he was really cool about it, and that's great. It just bothers me. That's the problem. And that's why I'm venting here.. 'cause I'd rather take the chance of looking like an over-dramatic wench on a message board than say something to my mother or my crush about it. But thank you for your insight. The friends I talked to aren't parents, so I know from a parent's point of view it's entirely different. Thanks for your advice. Every little bit helps, y'know?

Well, for one thing, my mother isn't involved in my life very much. After my father died 3 years ago, she remarried and asked me to move out so that they could have privacy. She and I see each other rarely. We talk on a semi-regular basis but it's only during work hours because she spends her afternoons, evenings, and weekends with her husband. We don't meet for lunch or go shopping or girl-talk like mothers and daughters do. So this is not an issue of, "Oh, that mother of mine! Always meddling in my life! Oh boy!" Two years ago, I was dating someone who broke up with me for a girl he met online and when I told my mother about it, she ran her mouth to my step-father. Days later in an argument with him, he used it as ammunition against me and called me derogatory names and teased me. I established from that moment on that if I spoke to my mother about anything, it would be vague and she was not to carry information to my step-father. I didn't want to run the risk of having confrontations with him or giving him fuel to add to the fire, so to speak. I'm also not close with my step-father. He and I have a volatile relationship but we somehow manage to be civil to one another to keep the peace. The fact that he approached this guy makes me angry because (1) It was not his place to say anything, (2) He is not my father, and (3) I do not share details about my social life or my dating life with him so I know that my mother is carrying tales. Since I'm not a parent, I'll ask you: Considering what I've typed, would you have done to your son or daughter what my mom did to me? It would have been one thing if my mom and my step-father had approached my crush and I in the middle of a conversation to say hello. That would have been fine. However, they chose to confront him while he was running on a treadmill, without ever having met him before, while I was nowhere in sight, and by intimidating him by saying, "Turn the treadmill off so we can have a little talk." In my opinion, that's crossing a line and being blatantly disrespectful of my wishes and my privacy.

greeneyez: Thanks! I call him "a potential Lloyd Dobler." Heehee! Kittenqutie: I haven't heard from him today. He spent time with his parents last night and we only talked for a couple of minutes around 9:30 or so. I haven't heard from him today and I'm not going to the gym today, either, so no chance of seeing him. I'm hoping he'll send me a text message tomorrow or something to initiate a conversation. Call me paranoid and stupid, but I'm still worried that my mom and step-father scared him off. I guess we'll see. As for your lap band surgery, that's awesome! Good luck with everything. You're going to do just fine. Mine, in retrospect, was a breeze and I'm so happy I had it done.

I'm a dork and since the best gifts I've ever received have been fun, childish things (like when friends give me rare Hello Kitty trinkets for my birthday or Christmas), I tend to do fun things like that for guys. If the guy I'm currently seeing makes it until Valentine's Day, I plan on going to the Lego Store at the mall and buying him one of those awesome "Star Wars" lego kits (and I'm hoping I Am Legend will be announced for a DVD release date 'cause I'm going to pre-order it for him on high-def since it was the movie we saw on our first date and he mentioned how much he loved it). But seriously, the suggestion about fixing him a nice steak and wine.. oh that's a good one. I can't think of any guy who would turn that down. Oh yeah, and that one implied thing from your own post. Yeah, that's another good one to throw in there. :biggrin:

Oh man, "I'll Tumble For You" is a good one, but I can't do it when I'm working out. My best friend and I always sing it and mock Adam Sandler's dance in Billy Madison where the song starts playing and he dances on the staircase. If it came up on my iPod, I'd probably fall off of it laughing. :biggrin:

Heehee! If we only ended up as friends, I would be satisfied with that. I mean, I've got feelings for him and I really like him. He's just such a great guy. If we were only friends, I'd settle for that, just having him in my life in some capacity. (However, I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it goes past friendship.. he's just so awesome. During our last date on Wednesday, we were hanging out after bowling in this diner in a corner booth, all 6 of us packed in, and I was drinking my iced tea and he was sitting beside me. I looked over at him and had to resist from grabbing his face and just giving him goofy little smooches all over 'cause he was so adorable and so sweet to me all night.. but man, did I want to!)

I just spent an hour and a half on the elliptical today and this is what I used: Shiny Toy Guns, "Le Disko" Rhianna, "Shut Up and Drive" Lupe Fiasco, "Little Weapon" Jay-Z, "99 Problems" Blake Lewis, "Break Anotha" Roisin Murphy, "Movie Star" Goldfrapp, "Ooh La La" Foo Fighters, "Best of You" AC/DC, "Shoot to Thrill" Van Halen, "Panama" (thank you, Superbad) All American Rejects, "Move Along" Jay-Z/Linkin Park, "Dirt Off Your Shoulder/Lying From You" The Donnas, "Fall Behind Me" Craig David, "Hot Stuff (Let's Dance)" Kanye West, "Stronger" Lily Allen, "Knock 'Em Out" Punjabi MC and Jay-Z, "Beware of the Boys" Rilo Kiley, "Portions For Foxes" (my theme song.. heh) Jet, "Cold Hard Bitch" The Hives, "Hate to Say I Told You So" Maroon 5, "Wake Up Call" Fall Out Boy, "Fame < Infamy" Gnarls Barkley, "Transformer" Fort Minor, "Petrified (Los Angeles Remix)" Kylie Minogue, "Can't Get You Out of My Head" Janet Jackson, "Feedback" M.I.A., "Bucky Done Gun" Spice Girls, "Who Do You Think You Are" (forgive me for this one) Metro Station, "Shake It" Cobra Starship, "Send My Love to the Dancefloor, I'll See You in Hell (Hey Mister DJ)" Weezer, "Hash Pipe" Seether, "Remedy" Teddybears, "Cobrastyle" Shooter Jennings, "4th of July" Paramore, "Crushcrushcrush" Robyn, "Crash and Burn Girl (Jasper Dahl Remix)" Sean Kingston, "Take You There" Lupe Fiasco, "Go Go Gadget Flow" Ashlee Simpson, "Outta My Head (Ay Ya Ya)" Linkin Park, "Bleed It Out" Fall Out Boy, "Thnks Fr Th Mmrs (The Lindbergh Palace Remix)" Editors, "Munich" Camera Obscura, "If Looks Could Kill" Breaking Benjamin, "Breath" NERD, "Rock Star (Jason Nevins Remix)" Annie Lennox, "Little Bird" All American Rejects, "Night Drive" Jay-Z, "Can I Get A.." Nelly Furtado, "Maneater" Pink, "U + Ur Hand" The Postal Service, "Such Great Heights" The White Stripes, "Seven Nation Army" Gwen Stefani, "Now That You Got It" Gym Class Heroes, "Clothes Off!!" And that's about it. It's incredibly long and the reason for it is because I get bored sometimes with a specific song and I'll listen to it half-way through and then skip to the next one. I made it lengthy so that it would last me a long while without having to search my iPod for something else to listen to it.

I just don't know about PeTA. Those stats are disgusting. I will say this: Their whole "I'd rather go naked than wear fur!" campaign with Eva Mendes irks me. Yeah, she's gorgeous and all, but it seems like the only reason she agreed to do their campaign was because PeTA called her out for wearing fur years ago to movie premieres. Whenever I see celebrities backing them, I wonder how many only did it to avoid getting trashed in the media by PeTA.

Dude, I went out with my friend over the weekend to a steakhouse and that's what I ordered, the loaded baked potato. She had ribs, baked macaroni and cheese, steak fries, not to mention the salad beforehand. After eating my potato, I was so stuffed. It's not only totally yummy and feels like you're cheating, but it's also filling and like you said, not too bad. :welldoneclap:

Dude, I went out with my friend over the weekend to a steakhouse and that's what I ordered, the loaded baked potato. She had ribs, baked macaroni and cheese, steak fries, not to mention the salad beforehand. After eating my potato, I was so stuffed. It's not only totally yummy and feels like you're cheating, but it's also filling and like you said, not too bad. :welldoneclap:

I've started eating a little of real foods here and there. I'm still on the pureed phase but I've felt comfortable eating tuna fish without pureeing it on a saltine cracker (2 of those for lunch) and it goes down without a problem and fills me up. I also had a (teacup) saucer plate of spaghetti with a tablespoon of marinara sauce a week ago and there were no problems with that, either. I went on a date Friday night and ordered a grilled chicken salad with the dressing on the side, no croutons, and the chicken and romaine lettuce went down perfectly well. I was a little surprised, but I made sure to chew thoroughly. Yesterday I went out with a friend and she ordered a big meal from a BBQ place and I had a baked potato. Over the hour that we were there chatting, I ate the whole baked potato (which was regular sized, not some gigantic version of one) and I felt stuffed afterwards, but no problems with that either. I haven't PB'ed on anything yet. It makes me wonder if my band's actually in there. *LOL* I don't have any problems, but I really haven't tested the waters too much. I figure next week when I go back to regular foods, I'll try to have a little bit of pot roast from the crock pot and maybe a little bit of Italian food just to see how I tolerate it. I also don't have any restriction, but I get full much sooner. I think it's also because I'm aware that there's something in my stomach that wasn't there before and overeating like I might have done in the past could damage it, so I'm a little more careful now to listen to when my body starts saying, "That's enough. Put the fork down."

Awesome news! Keep us posted on your progress!

You know what bothers me the most about the idea of WLS being "the easy way out"? I don't think people who say that have any idea what it entails. I mean, even I didn't know how hard it was going to be. It's truly a life-long commitment. On top of that, to me it seems incredibly stupid to stay fat and risk your health because you don't want to take "the easy way out." That was one of the reasons I gave people who didn't seem all that supportive of me having the surgery - I'm young, I'm in great health with nothing wrong with me aside from my weight. How stupid would I be to continue to be fat for years and years, waiting until I develop diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and such before deciding to intervene? Even for people who have those problems and who are struggling to overcome them - Why not do something while you still can, while you're still courageous enough to make a huge commitment like WLS, and while your body is still permitting you the chance to turn things around? To me that makes more sense than staying fat and yo-yo dieting for the rest of your life.

Wow! That's pretty cool. I just happened to stumble upon "Big Medicine" yesterday while I was flipping through the channels. I watched back-to-back episodes and was really impressed with them. I like the way both Drs. Davis tease and joke with each other. It seems like it would put you at ease to talk to them about things. Good luck to you in your surgery! You're gonna do great!

Just a question - it's kinda relative. :eek: I was just banded on 12/13/07.. and on the morning of surgery, I was 248. About 1.5 weeks later, I weighed 236. In the past couple of days, though, my weight's gone back up where it lingers between 240-244. Is it normal to have such variety of weight fluxuations at first? I'm a couple days into the pureed foods stage and I figured my body is just adjusting to everything, but it does discourage me a little. I'm hanging in there though! Just wondering if anyone else had experiences similar to these? (PS - No restriction yet. My surgeon is going to wait until mid/late January for my first fill once I'm through with the 2 weeks of eating solids again.)

Dear Mom, After everything that happened when Dad died 3 years ago, you and I had plenty of differences and lots of distance between us. When you started dating your husband, you were never home and you would disappear for weeks and not answer your cell phone. I felt rejected and as if you didn't care. That feeling had lingered up until the last couple of weeks. These last 2 weeks that I've been out of work recovering from my surgery, you have actually spent time with me. I can't tell you how much it means to me that you call me in the mornings just to chat on your way to work, or that you call me around noon to make sure I'm okay. We've been out shopping more in the last 2 weeks than in the last 2 years. Even just being in your car with you and chatting like we used to makes me happy. I wish that we could run errands after work like we used to before you got remarried and I was still living at home. I miss the inside jokes and the funny stories and all the mornings fighting over the blow-dryer. I can't tell you how much I've missed having my Mama around. But if all I can have is car rides and phone calls, I'll take it. I miss you that much. Love, Sunshine