I'm getting sleeved on Thursday, December 19th and feeling many of your same emotions.
Hang in there and start a journal. Begin by listing all of the reasons that YOU ARE WORTH IT!
I also have family members with long term health implications. My mom became a diabetic when she was the age I am now (43), so I have to gain control. I don't fault my mom; much less was known 30 years ago.
However, we DO know more now and so I have to take control.
You CAN DO IT...YOU ARE WORTH IT.
Regarding bread and pastas, I have no suggestions because I haven't had it yet either, but my husband was a LAP-BAND converted to RNY (because his band kept slipping) and he reassures me that one or two bites does satisfy you.
Best of luck...I look forward to hearing how your surgery went!