fotogrphr

Well, I'm only a few days away from my 3 month mark after surgery. I have lost almost 1/2 of my excess weight now, and am feeling pretty good. I had a rough go of it during the first month. My mom passed away and it has been really tough. She was just hanging on to see that I made it through surgery and recovered well and died 2 1/2 weeks after I got home. She had end stage Parkinson's and I knew it was coming, but you are never really prepared,regardless of how you try. At least I have the comfort of knowing she was happy I had the surgery, and was able to see me recover and start my weight loss journey. She had always worried about my weight, and was thrilled that I decided to get sleeved. I have been majorly stressed out from her death, and with it came the closing of our family business, and preparation to sell our family home. I live in the house and we are going through renovations and updates to get it on the market. We are almost ready now, but the stress is killing me. My whole world is upside down right now. Usually I would have eaten my way through the stress, but that isn't an options any longer. Even if I wanted to, my body would not allow it.
I am amazed at how my life has changed all at once. My mom would have told me that it is good, I will be starting out fresh. A new body, a new home, and a new job are all going to be positive changes for me. I tell myself that daily, but I am having weird nightmares about it all. I obviously am stressed, but am not sure how to relieve it. I go to group in a few days, and that might help. Talking to friends online helps, but I still need that face to face, as well.
If the weather would cooperate, I might get active outside more, but it seems like when I have the free time, it is cold. I don't do cold any more, I freeze to death since surgery. I used to sweat bullets at the blink of an eye, but now I want a fuzzy blanket and my cuddly little dog close by all the time. She is 6 lbs of soft furry heat!!! She is laying on the desk between my arms as I type this right now!
My husband has been wonderful support, as well as my dad. I know that they are stressed too, but they don't show it. I know I'm a lucky girl to have them in my corner. Once we sell the house and move, my dad will be living with us. It will keep him going if he needs to take care of me. My hubby is my hero, and I couldn't ask for better support and help. He has been so wonderful through all of this, and we are much closer because of it. He has no problem with my dad living with us, and I am grateful for that. I am hoping that my weight will continue to drop steadily through the summer. I am more active when it is warm out, and think that will be a big plus for my journey. We hope to camp and bike some this summer. I love the outdoors, and hope it all works out to have some time to enjoy life a little. I have dedicated the last 7 years to taking care of my mom, now it's my turn. I miss her terribly, but she'd tell me to get out there and have some fun. I'm going to try to do just that!

Well, it is finally arriving. Surgery is in 15 hours. Tonight I have to take a shower with the special soap they provided, and then another in the morning before I go. I am nervous beyond belief!! I arrive at the hospital at 5am (and I am NOT a morning person), and surgery is at 7:15. I should be out by no later than 9am and in recovery if all goes well. My sweet hubby will be with me, and will keep my bag until I am assigned a room. I am supposed to have my 2 shakes today and a lean cuisine for dinner. Nothing to eat or drink after midnight except enough water to swallow my meds. I am taking them out of the capsules for quicker absorbency.
They checked my gallbladder, pancreas, and spleen on Friday to see if anything else needs attention while they are in there. I also have a hiatal hernia they are going to fix. Gallbladder disease runs in my family, so they thought it might need to come out too. I don't know the test results yet, so I guess I'll find out when I get there!
I was blessed with my TOM today (I am sure from stress), so now I get to deal with that while I am in the hospital as well. I have heard this is not uncommon for women who are still menstruating, so I guess I can manage. If this happens to you, be sure to take your favorite products with you as I hear that what they provide is terrible. At least my surgeon said I don't have to have a Foley since I don't have bladder issues. That is some consolation!!
I am mostly worried about my mother while I am gone. She has Parkinson's, and I have been her primary caretaker for almost 7 years. She is now in the final stages, and I am just praying she won't pass while I am in the hospital. My sister is going to help take care of her while I am gone, and that was the first thing she said to me, so it's not just my imagination. She is getting close! The hospice nurses believe so too. I guess if it happens it is God's plan to spare me of it, so I will accept his will. I just hope that I am wrong. She wants this for me, so she may be waiting to see that I do it, and that I'm alright before she goes. I am doing this partly for her, as she has worried about my health. It's just tough to go into this with that much stress, and worry. It makes it hard to concentrate on me, and I need to do that to get through this without problems.
Please say a prayer for me or at least send out some good vibes! I could really use them!
Tina